Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Marvel’s Civil War mega-event rages on, with all kinds of violence and murder, but issue #541 shows we can still have some laughs during this time.

As the Civil War began, with all the superheroes battling and even killing each other in the streets over the Superhuman Registration Act, Ben chose to follow the path of the ex-pat by leaving the US for France. After talking about this for a while, and then incongruously fighting alongside Iron Man’s team against Captain America’s side in Civil War #3-4, in this issue, Ben finally arrives in France.

Except Ben’s still not in France. After some comedy shtick with a New York cabbie, Ben arrives at the airport in NYC, where he’s stopped by goons from the IRS. Ben tells them that he’s not giving up his US Citizenship, just leaving for a while. They ask about the huge amount of money he recently received from Fantastic Four Inc. They say he hasn’t paid any income tax on his newfound fortune, and that the IRS is freezing his accounts prior to Ben’s leaving for a non-extradition country. “Have a lovely flight,” one of the IRS guys says. Then it’s even more comedy shtick as Ben goes through airport security and must sit in coach on the plane.

Ben finally arrives in Paris, where he goes out to see the sights. People are rude to him when he asks for restaurant tips. He gets an outdoor table at a small café (because it’s France, you know) only to fall through a trap door into some underground complex. There, he meets Adamantine, a Superman-like character who calls himself “commander in absentia” for a group called The Heroes of Paris. Adamantine says the city is in danger and needs his help. Ben then meets the rest of the Heroes of Paris, who are somewhat similar to DC’s Justice League:

• Comte De Nuit, a.k.a. the Night Count, a Batman-like dark vigilante.

• Anais, queen of a lost cat civilization, a Catwoman/Wonder Woman hybrid.

• La Lumiere Blue, a Green Lantern type, whose light-based powers can reveal others’ secrets.

• Detective Fantome, a supernatural guy akin to the Specter or the Phantom Stranger.

• Le Vent, a.k.a. the Wind, a Flash-ish speedster.

• Le Docteur Q, a guy wearing high-tech armor, similar to Steel, Cyborg or, I guess, Iron Man.

• And finally, Le Cowboy, who is… just a cowboy.

Even though Paris is in danger, the French superheroes nonetheless stop for lunch. Ben assumes the crisis is a multinational conspiracy manipulating superheroes into fighting each other. Instead, it’s a supervillain called the Emperor of the Underground World, who plans to overthrow Paris with an army of subterranean monsters. Ben is moved to tears by the thought of an uncomplicated, old-fashioned good guys versus bad guys slugfest.

Cut to the fight, in caves deep beneath Paris. Ben is at the center of the action, fighting all the monsters, while the rest of the French heroes have some classic superhero banter. Ben confronts the Emperor, deducing that the villain turned to evil not for political reasons, but because a girl once turned him down for a date. Ben smashes the Emporer’s doomsday machine, destroying the caves in the process. The other supes think he didn’t make it, only for him to crawl out of the wreckage with the Emperor, saying “Now that’s what I call doing it old-school.”

Paris is saved, and the Emperor’s lady friend appears. She forgives him, he proposes, and just like that they’re off to get married. Ben responds, “It’s Paris. What’re ya gonna do?” The issue ends with the superheroes heading off for another meal. Ben does his version of the line from Casablanca (which is actually Morocco, but does reference Paris), “I got the feeling that this is the beginnin’ of a wonderful friendship.”

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s catch phrase in French is “Il est temps de battre!” The caption tells us this means, “It’s clobberin’ time!” I’ll take their word for it.

Trivia time: This is the only appearance for all but two of the Heroes of Paris. The Marvel Wiki states that the team vanished without a trace after this, leaving Paris forever vulnerable to attack (!). My conspiracy theory: DC’s lawyers called.  

Speaking of which, Ben states a couple of times that there’s a multinational conspiracy behind the Civil War. I find it unlikely he knows everything that was revealed in the Wolverine issues, and he certainly doesn’t know what will eventually be revealed at the end of Front Line. But he’s right – not all is at it appears.

The Marvel Wiki is pretty slight when it comes to Paris. It skips everything from the 1950s all the way to the Fear Itself crossover. I just know Marvel characters have been there in between, including this issue. Off the top of my head, our own FF hid out in Paris in vol. 3 #1, and the trial of Magneto from Uncanny X-Men #200 was set in Paris.

Fantastic or frightful? Writer J. Michael Straczynski seems to be picking up where he left off in Supreme Power just before this, and then The Twelve just after this, by putting his own spin on the Justice League. Still, it’s nice to have some lighthearted fun during the otherwise dark and megaviolent Civil War.

Next: Mutants in the desert.

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