Tim Burton rewatch! Most Burton biographies have one sentence saying, “He also directed a Hansel and Gretel short in his early days.” But what is this short film, exactly? It’s… certainly something.

Here’s what happens: Hansel and Gretel’s wicked stepmother separates them from their toymaker father and abandons them in the woods. There, they encounter the witch with a house made of candy, and so on. Also, a robot and a kung fu battle. There are several scenes of just shots of bizarre sculptures and mechanized toys wandering about. This thing defies description, really.

Origin story: Stories of Burton’s early days are often about him wanting to direct an TV holiday special. These were something of their own industry in the late ‘70s/early ‘80s. He finally got his shot with Hansel and Gretel, only for Disney to find it too weird. The Disney Channel aired it only once, late at night on Halloween. (Other sources argue the special aired twice that week.) VHS tapes circulated, as they so often did, so today we all can see it on YouTube.

Outsider theory: We don’t know enough about this world to determine whether the kids and their dad are the normal ones or the ones who are different. (This “world” is mostly rooms with plain white walls.) But the themes of childhood innocence venturing into the dark, unknown forest remains timeless.

Reality breaks through: A gingerbread man who wants to be eaten for some reason, sings a spoof of the song “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart, changing the lyrics to “If you think I’m tasty.”

Best bits: Wicked stepmother: “Do you see a father around here? Did I say your father would be tagging along? No, you stupid little slug! Listen, I’ll tell you what I meant. I meant me, your dippy little brother, your pea-brained self, and the duck. But if you don’t want to take it, we’ll just leave the duck at home. It doesn’t matter to me if you insult your father!”

Thoughts upon this viewing: This has a lot of signature Burton visuals, but it lacks the polish and charm of Vincent. If you want something just plain weird, however, it’ll scratch that itch. There’s a real “found object” feel to this, in that you can’t fathom something like this was made, let alone shown on television.

Next: Dog days of summer.

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