Tim Burton rewatch! In 2001, Burton took on one of Hollywood’s hottest long-running properties with Planet of the Apes. This is when things get… hairy.

Here’s what happens: It’s the future. Astronaut Leo Davidson is aboard a space station working with test chimpanzees, hoping for a chance to do some real flying. He gets his chance when the station enters an electromagnetic storm. He flies through the storm and crash lands on a planet… of the apes! The apes rule the humans, but tensions are high. When trying to return to his ship, Leo finds himself in the middle of the rebellion.

Origin story: The 1969 film Planet of the Apes, loosely based on a 1961 French novel, was a smash hit and instant pop culture sensation filled with iconic imagery. In the 1990s, retro was king, and everybody in Hollywood wanted to be in on the remake. Burton alleges that years of script drafts and pre-production design were already done by the time he joined the film, making this more a work-for-hire gig for him.

Outsider theory: Leo is certainly an outsider by way of not being from this planet, but the real Burton-style outsider is Ari, an ape who shows empathy for the lower-class humans and wants them to be treated with respect and compassion. She’s the daughter of an ape politician with ties to the ape military, so you can guess how well that goes.

Reality breaks through: The screenwriters are all about wanting to comment on our own society, perhaps going too far. There are allegories for civil rights, allegories for science vs. religion, allegories for gun control – it’s all allegories all the time.

Best bits: Ari: “I’d like to see your world.” Leo: “I don’t know. They’d probably prod you and poke you, and put you in a cage too.” Ari: “You’d protect me.”

Thoughts on this viewing: The idea is that the apes are evolving, becoming smarter and more civilized, while the humans are de-evolving, becoming less civilized and more animalistic. This story takes place at the precise moment when the downward and upward meet right in the middle, asking whether any equilibrium – or, dare I say, equality – is possible.

I like that idea, but the movie lacks internal consistency. Just how advanced are the apes? They don’t have electricity, but they do have realistic dentures? How animalistic are humans? They dress like Tarzan but speak just as eloquently as the apes. The makeup and set designs are great, and the walkthrough of the ape city at the start is especially fun, but overall I’m frustrated with how all-over-the-place the movie is.

Next: …and chips.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.