Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Writer Mark Millar continues his run with issue #556, with robot battles in the snow. Because why not?

Recap: Reed was contacted by his old girlfriend Alyssa Moy and her new husband, mega-millionaire Ted Castle, about their new project. It’s Nu Earth, an exact replica of Earth on the other side of a portal. Alyssa says an unpreventable environmental crisis is on the way, and humanity must be evacuated to Nu Earth. They also have plans for Nu Earth to be a utopia without armies or weapons. To manage this, they have a robot enforcer named Cap, who is programmed to end soldiers and war. Then Cap escaped its lab and fled to Alaska, chasing down some actual soldiers.

We begin in Alaska, where Cap, who appears to be a giant robot with Captain America-themed colors. Cap quickly lays waste to the soldiers and then marches on to the nearest Air Force base. Cap destroys the base, killing its population of 50o people. At Earth-Trust, Alyssa and Ted’s secret lab, Alyssa says Cap was programmed to seek out and destroy the largest weapons, and that he’ll go after nukes next. Alyssa admits it will take superhuman effort to stop Cap, so she calls S.H.I.E.L.D. for help.

Cut to Johnny’s new apartment, where a TV crew arrives to set up cameras all over. Johnny starting his own band is also part of a new reality show about his life. Johnny’s manager Miguel is upset that Johnny has been out of touch, but Johnny explains he wasn’t around because of stopping the diamond heist last issue. Then we see that the sexy blue-haired superhuman burglar from last issue spent the night with Johnny. She’s going by name Psionics. As she sneaks out, she won’t tell Johnny her real name, saying secret identities exist for a reason.

At the new Baxter Building, Sue meets with Reed’s staff (who are these guys?) who tell her Reed is exploring a micro-galaxy on the edge of the universe, and he won’t be back for ninety minutes. Then Alyssa backflips through a portal and tells Sue that Cap is on a rampage and army bases are being evacuated all over. Cut to Alaska where Sue, Ben, and Johnny join Alyssa on the scene. Ted radios in to tell them that forty of the world’s biggest superheroes are already there.

Turn the page and we see a bunch of Marvel’s biggest names sprawled on the snow, defeated and possibly dead. Spider-Man, Storm, and Wolverine among them. “This can’t be good,” Ben says.

Then Cap appears and attacks. It’s several pages of fighting as Cap doesn’t slow down despite anything the FF throw at him. Cap punches out Ben, is resistant to Johnny’s fire, and he punches through several levels of Sue’s force fields. Alyssa tries to reason with Cap, revealing that his programming will not allow him to harm her. Then all the other heroes regain consciousness (so they’re not dead after all) and join the fight. Ben gets knocked into a frozen lake and sinks under the ice.

At the Earth-Trust lab, Ted freaks out, worrying that Cap’s personal teleporters are now online. He’s teleporting around the world attacking military bases in multiple countries. Just as Ted considers calling the U.N., a voice comes over his radio saying, “Sit tight, gentlemen.”

Turn the page, and Reed is riding his sky cycle out of a portal, saying, “I’m on my way.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: In the previous issue, it was suggested that Reed traveled across the universe to investigate Alyssa’s warnings about an impending environmental disaster. But this issue suggests he’s simply away on unrelated business. We’ll have to see.

Fade out: There’s still tension between Sue and Alyssa. When Alyssa makes a sarcastic comment during the fight, Sue flat-out tells her to shut up.

Clobberin’ time: Wolverine wakes up after Cap knocks Ben against him, before Ben goes sinking into the lake. I guess this means Wolvie is the one who then revived all the other heroes.

Flame on: After all that talk about how the camera crew is supposed to follow Johnny anywhere, they don’t follow him to Alaska. I guess that happens when you travel by portal.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Storm and Black Panther are both seen knocked out by Cap, although you have to look real closely to see that it’s Black Panther.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: Franklin is stuck with babysitting duties, bemoaning how Valeria only wants to watch the Bratz movie over and over. If you’ve never seen Bratz, know that it’s quite an experience.

Trivia time: The heroes on the scene are conveniently grouped into their teams, the New Avengers, the Mighty Avengers, the Young Avengers, and Yellowjacket’s Initiative team (the Marvel Wiki insists that Yellowjacket was still secretly a Skrull at this point, placing this before Secret Invasion). Black Panther and Storm aren’t on a team by this point.

The female superhero with the Giant Man-style powers is Stature. This is Cassie Lang, who lived with the Fantastic Four for a while during the Tom DeFalco era (era), along with her dad, the Scott Lang Ant-Man. Let’s not bother with how she’s in her late teens now while Franklin is only a little bit older.

Fantastic or frightful? It’s an all-action issue, but it takes place in the dark during a snowstorm, making the big battle look all dark blue and blurry. But it does move the story forward and increase the stakes. It works better as one chapter in the trade rather than a standalone issue, but that’s what comics have turned into at this point.

Next: Mecha-Reedzilla.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.