Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch continue on with issue #559. Also, David Letterman is here!

Recap: Dr. Doom has been kidnapped by a new team of supervillains calling themselves the New Defenders, one of whom is Johnny’s new girlfriend, a super-powered bank robber named Psionics. Also, their leader appears to be… the Hulk! Meanwhile, the Richard kids’ new nanny, Mrs. Deneuve, has deduced that little Valeria is actually a genius.

This issue begins in good spirits as Johnny’s new rock band is performing on The Late Show with David Letterman. Ben and his new girlfriend, schoolteacher Debbie Green, head to the Ed Sullivan Theater to check out the show. Johnny is running late for the show, speeding his expensive new car through NYC traffic, when he’s attacked by Lightwave, one of the New Defenders. They fight for a bit.

Elsewhere in New York, Sue is having dinner with Alyssa Moy, Reed’s ex-girlfriend. (Rather rude of Sue to skip Johnny’s Letterman appearance.) There’s a lot of tension between them, and Alyssa admits she’s in trouble. She and her husband, Ted Castle, are building Nu Earth, a recreation of Earth in a parallel universe where humanity will be evacuated in an upcoming natural disaster. However, Alyssa reveals that Ted lied, and that his plan is to save only the wealthy elite and leave the rest of humanity to die. Alyssa says Reed has severed his ties with her, and she doesn’t know who else to call.

Then we catch up Johnny, crawling from the wreckage of his expensive car. Psionics joins the fight, and he assumes this is because of their fight last issue. Psionics says that “Dr. Banner” insisted that Johnny die painlessly (!) but Lightwave, who you’ll remember is Psionics’ father, wants revenge for Johnny breaking his daughter’s heart. They fight inside a fast-food place, then in the sky over the city, and then in a parking garage.

The New Defenders’ sixth member, the mysterious “Hooded Man,” then attacks Johnny, grabbing him and throwing them both into an office building. We see a series of explosions from outside the building, and then the Hooded Man steps out with an unconscious Johnny. “Let’s get this clown back to base,” he says.

At the New Baxter Building, Reed is speaking on the phone (actually a hologram) with Hank Pym. He says he’s letting his subconscious work on the mystery of Doom’s kidnapping, while his main focus is investigating Alyssa and Ted’s prediction of an impending worldwide eco-disaster. He says he wants to assemble a task force. Then Mrs. Deneuve tells him something terrible has happened to Johnny.

At the New Defenders’ secret base, Johnny wakes to find himself and Dr. Doom both hooked up to a strange machine. Doom in uncommunicative, with the New Defenders bragging about how his pride has taken a huge blow. Johnny sees that the Hulk (or someone who appears to be the Hulk) is the group’s leader. This Hulk says his team needs a power source for a machine. Johnny looks down and sees that this machine is hooked up to Galactus’ chest (!). The Hulk says, “I think it’s time we had a little chat, Johnny.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says the predicted eco-disaster will destroy the Earth in thirty years. He feels that the data is sound, but that it cannot be because of all the geniuses at work on Earth.

Fade out: Sue says her new charity-fundraising super-team Miss America has raised $55 million to help New Yorkers whose homes were destroyed during the World War Hulk event.

Clobberin’ time: Ben has fun showing off with Debbie in front of paparazzi, but Debbie says she doesn’t want her picture taken. This is another hint that she has a big secret.

Flame on: Johnny says he’s running late because he was visiting sick children in the hospital, but everyone knows he was really partying with two supermodels, because they posted photos online. (Not on social media, but on “their websites.”) Johnny does show his humanitarian side during the fight, though, when he helps civilians get to safety.

Our gal Val: Valeria is shown with Reed and Mrs. Deneuve, not saying a word and keeping her secret.

Trivia time: I’m very confused. The publication dates show that Secret Invasion has happened by now, but the Marvel Wiki is insistent that this storyline is before Secret Invasion, and that Hank Pym in this issue is still a Skrull in disguise. Hank’s hologram has a slight green glow, which might be a Skrull Easter egg. I guess I’ll get to Secret Invasion whenever the series gets to it.

David Letterman did a lot of top ten lists about comic book superheroes over the years, but I couldn’t find one specific to Fantastic Four. On the whole, it seems he and his writers favored DC over Marvel, referencing Batman and Superman most often. But, to be fair, Letterman did team up with the Avengers in Avengers #239, part of the infamous Assistant Editors’ Month event. (Conan O’Brien is a known Marvel fan, often praising Dave Cockrum’s art on Uncanny X-Men. When Jay Leno had Kevin Smith as a guest, Leno admitted he didn’t read comics.)

There’s a brown-haired man and blonde woman in Ben’s Fantasticar at the start of the issue, but we later learn that Reed and Sue are elsewhere in NYC at this time. Closer inspection reveals that this man and woman with Ben are Debbie Green’s coworkers, whom we met in issue #554.

Fantastic or frightful? A lot of action, and a lot of moving subplots forward, but not a lot of answers. This issue is big and cinematic, but it has middle-of-the-trade-collection energy.

Next: Hard Rain 2: Rain Harder.

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