Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s vacation time in issue #564, with a trip to another country and long-lost family.

Gimmie a gimmick: This cover is the famous Fantastic Four holiday painting that’s been often memed. It comes with a note from writer Mark Millar and artist Bryan Hitch apologizing for the imagine being (this is their word, not mine) “lame.” Now, THAT’S the edgelord humor Millar is famous for.

We begin in Scotland, 25 years ago, where a woman named Rhona is stopped on the road at night by a group of men. They tell her, “You can’t run away from Korgo,” and, “It isn’t you he’s after. It’s the wee man sleeping in your tummy.” Cut to the present, in the village of Iarmailt, Scotland, where the Fantastic Four arrive in a Fantasticar and its new TARDIS-like trailer. They’re greeted by Reed’s cousin Hamish Richards, his wife Muriel, and their young sun Angus.

The FF are there for their vacation, mentioned last issue. It’s stated that the two families haven’t seen each other since Reed and Sue’s wedding. Hamish adds that Reed is his only cousin. Then we learn it’s Christmastime (!) and the two families are reuniting to share the holiday. Ben has brought his fiancée, NYC schoolteacher Debbie Green. A passing neighbor meets the FF, and we learn that Hamish is the local minister.

Later, Ben and Debbis go for a walk through the farmland. (Do I dare suggest that these are the famous Highlands?) Johnny is a few days later in joining them because he had a TV appearance. Debbie says she doesn’t mind spending Christmas away from her family, because she considers Ben her family now. They pass some local cops in a cemetery, who are burying a dog recently hit by a car. The police explain that humans and pets share the same cemetery in this town. The cops say there is no crime in Iarmailt, and there’s never been an arrest.

Sue and Muriel have a similar conversation when strolling through the town square. Muriel says she’d been confined to a wheelchair due to multiple sclerosis, but can now walk up to three miles a day since she’s lived in Iarmailt. While Sue is alone for a moment, the woman Rhona runs up to her and says children are in danger. A local man shoos Rhona way and tells Sue the woman is just being eccentric.

On Christmas Eve, Ben wants to watch a football game, but the town has only one TV channel. Hamish says he likes not having a lot of electronics, and he doesn’t need to bother with things like email and cell phones. There’s a brief discussion about science versus religion. Reed says that although he’s devoted his life to science, faith can have its benefits. Hamish, while looking menacing, says, “It’s belief in our god that makes this town special.”

That night, Franklin and Valeria discuss whether Santa Claus knows they’re in Scotland. It appears as if the actual Santa shows up inside the house, but then we see it’s just Johnny wearing a Santa suit. Outside, mysterious figures watch the house. One asks, “Is the little girl appropriate?” and another answers, “Perfect.”

On Christmas morning, Franklin and Valeria are flying! They just got new flight jackets as Christmas presents, allowing them to go full Superman. Little Angus didn’t get a flight jacket, and got a Nintendo instead. (So much for not needing electronics.) Valeria and Franklin have a race to a large tree outside of town, with her managing the speed and maneuverability of the flight jackets better than Franklin can. Franklin lands in the woods, surrounded by tall trees. He looks around for Valeria, thinking she’s hiding. Turn the page and it’s evident that Val is now missing.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed jokes (or perhaps not?) that he invented two new types of helicopters during their visit to Scotland. He promises Sue he won’t file for patents until after the holidays.

Fade out: Sue comments about how the town seems untouched, as if from the distant past. Does this suggest she’s already figured out something weird is going on?

Clobberin’ time: The Scottish policemen have no reaction to a giant rock monster strolling through their quaint little village. One of them mentions New York, though, suggesting that he already knows who Ben is.

Flame on: The opening text page (still written as if it’s Valeria’s blog) states that Johnny’s girlfriend Psionics has left Earth for Nu Earth, and he’s bummed about losing her. Could this be the real reason why he was running late?

Fantastic fifth wheel: Reed says his father was devoutly religious, who raised him in a hardline church environment. This would seem to go against what we know about Nathaniel Richards, who became a battle-hardened time traveler. We’ve seen fleeting glimpses of Reed’s childhood, where Nathaniel encouraged Reed to pursue a life of science.

Four and a half: Valeria’s blog also states Franklin is struggling with Valeria being a genius. This is shown later, as he dislikes when she’s the one who takes the more “grown up” role on their race through the woods.

Our gal Val: Val says her age is two and a half, illustrating her genius by speaking in full paragraphs. But is there an accelerated growth thing happening too? Because she’s drawn at almost the same height as Franklin.

Trivia time: This is the first appearance and mention of Reed’s Scottish cousin Hamish and his family, who were at Reed and Sue’s wedding. I went back to the famous wedding issue and didn’t see anyone in the background that could be them.

Scotland is popular locale in Marvel Comics, especially in X-Men, where the Muir Isle headquarters is located. Wolfsbane of the New Mutants is from Scotland, as is the X-Men’s scientist friend Moira McTaggart. Most of the time, though, Marvel characters visit old-timey Scotland via time travel. (Marvel is the original Outlander.) In the Marvel Universe, Loch Ness contains a hidden tunnel to the Atlantic Ocean, often used by Atlanteans. The Marvel wiki alleges that Conan the Barbarian-related characters King Kull and Bran Mak Morn also originated in ancient Scotland, and that they are tied in with Atlantis somehow. Not sure how that works.

From what I can tell, the town of Iarmailt is fictional. The comic alleges that “iarmailt” is a Scots word meaning “heaven.”

Fantastic or frightful? All that stuff about Nu Earth, the New Defenders, and Dr. Doom’s “master” gets put on hold for a Christmas and/or weirdness-in-a-small-town story. These new characters are a mild continuity headache as well. But there’s some fun character work here, and some spooky stuff too.

Next: Love, craft.

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