Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Here’s FF #7, the second half of an extended flashback that… Oh, I just can’t.  

Recap: Two issues ago, the conflict between four recently-discovered lost civilizations was complicated by four evil versions of Reed from alternate universes, and then complicated further by the appearance of the flying Inhuman city of Attilan with Black Bolt on the throne. Then we got an entire issue of a flashback how Black Bolt recently died, another flashback about the Kree Supreme Intelligence learning that an Inhuman will be his eventual demise, and yet another flashback of Black Bolt returning to life.

This issue begins still in flashback, located “within the fault,” in deep space, where Black Bolt is under attack by tentacles (wa-hey!). This goes on for a bit until Black Bolt is rescued by the Inhumans’ teleporting dog Lockjaw. On the Kree homeworld of Hala, we’re reminded that the Inhumans recently took that throne, with Medusa ruling in Black Bolt’s place. The Kree all kneel in awe of Black Bolt’s strength and might.

Then there’s some politicking where a Kree regent argues against sending aid from the strong core planets to the weaker and impoverished planets on the fringes of Kree space, saying that this is simply not how the Kree operate. Black Bolt leaves Ronan the Accuser in charge to deal with this matter, as the Inhumans must return to Earth immediately. The Kree all argue against this, saying they gave Black Bolt rulership over the Kree for a reason. The regent asks him what changed and he actually speaks, saying, “I am awake!” His super-powered voice wreaks destruction in the throne room and killing the regent.

Medusa further explains that the Inhumans must leave because this is a summoning. She gives Crystal the option to join them or to stay with her new husband. She chooses to stay, revealing the husband is… Ronan the Accuser?!? Okay, then.  

Cut to one thousand years earlier, when the Kree Supreme Intelligence is still freaking out over his own eventual death. He says he has come up with a stratagem to change his fate, and says that it will require something unexpected, a “Supremor seed.” This seed appears in the form of a glowing spikey thing, and it’s given to that era’s (era’s) accuser for protection.

Then we flash forward/flash back to one month earlier, cutting to the moon. Black Bolt and the Inhuman royal family return to Attilan, where they meet the Universal Inhumans, made up of various aliens among these are four queens, from the Badoon, the Centaurians, the Kymellians, and even the Dire Wraiths. These four, along with Medusa, are the five brides mentioned in a prophecy in the previous issue. The captions tell us that the prophecy claims the chosen one has a voice that can shake entire worlds, and will speak one word, “War.”

To be continued?

Fantastic fifth wheel: Crystal and Ronan the Accuser are married?!? This was news to me. Turned out the blessed event happened in the Secret Invasion: Inhumans miniseries. The Inhumans allied themselves with Kree to help fight off the Skrulls. It seemed like an arranged marriage at the time, but by this issue Crystal shows some genuine affection for her new alien husband. This began Crystal’s new position as Inhuman ambassador to Earth, which the Marvel Wiki says still holds.

Medusa is able to interpret a lot of Black Bolt’s intent after seeing him just wave his hand. It’s established by now that the two of them are that in sync.

Trivia time: The names of some of Black Bolt’s new brides are familiar, or are they? The Centaurian is Oola Udonta, whom the Marvel Wiki says “may be” related to Yondu Udonta from Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Kymellian is Onomi Whitemane, with no note whatsoever whether she is related to Aelfyre Whitemane from Power Pack.

Fantastic or frightful? Everybody keeps telling me they love Jonathan Hickman’s take on this series, and that he’s one of the all-time best. But I just can’t with this guy. These last two issues have been unreadable, with the main story screeching to a halt for a two-month long info dump. A few weeks back, I praised Hickman for finally starting to tie a bunch of plot threads together, but I don’t feel that way anymore.

Next: Oops all villains.

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Want more? Check out my novel MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF. It’s a comedic/romantic/dramatic superhero epic! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08XPXBK14.