macmcentire

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Everybody loves a Human Torch/Spider-Man team up, and here’s a good one in issue #513.

After the Latveria incident (long story), the FF are facing some of the worst PR they’ve ever faced. Johnny, still acting as chief financial officer for Fantastic Four, Inc., asked Spider-Man for help in how to deal with bad press. Spidey took Johnny to a water park (why???), where villain Hydro-Man recently got an honest job. Thinking Spidey was there to attack him, Hydro-Man started a fight, resulting in all of Johnny’s clothes being blown off (!). This issue resolves the cliffhanger by having Spider-Man create webbing shorts for Johnny to wear. It’s wacky!

Hydro-Man keeps raging, and all the civilians around blame Johnny for starting this fight. There’s a bit where Ben enjoys popcorn at home while he watches the news report of the fight. Johnny blasts Hydro-Man so that part of him turns to steam. Hydro-Man then escapes down a drain. The closest access to the water lines is the nearby restroom and Johnny flies right into… the ladies’ room. It’s another comical misunderstanding, but not so funny when Hydro-Man returns and punches Johnny through a wall.

Spider-Man stops Hydro-Man from escaping, and he says he didn’t come to the park to pick a fight. Johnny recovers most of his clothes, but he is still fending off insults from the civilians, who think he’s only there to cause trouble. Hydro-Man keeps fighting, and Spidey says he likes how now he’s the likable one and Johnny is the unlikable one for once. Johnny fights Hydro-Man around the park while Spider-Man remembers that the trench coat he wore when they first arrive is one of the Thing’s incognito coats, and that gives him an idea.

Johnny chases Hydro-Man through an arcade, nearly electrifying a bunch of kids, after which Spider-Man traps Hydro-Man inside the coat. Because the coat is made of unstable molecules, it’s strong enough to contain the Thing, but can also be spot-welded from the outside. Johnny does just that, sealing and trapping Hydro-Man inside the coat. The police arrive, threatening to arrest Johnny on charges of “open flame and fireworks.” While the heroes are distracted by this, a mystery man whose face we don’t see sneaks away with the coat and Hydro-Man.

Spider-Man notices the park’s mascot, Squiddy McSquid (!) is about to fall from wreckage from the fight. Spidey claims to be out of web fluid, so Johnny flies up and rescues the man. The audience cheers, and sees Johnny as a hero again. Squiddy turns out to be a beautiful young woman in the costume, and she asks Johnny for his phone number. The crowd then turns on Spider-Man for not saving Squiddy, calling him a menace. So things are back to normal.

Johnny thanks Spider-Man, in a way, by saying, “You really understand how important it is for me not to look like a dork in front of my adoring public.” Spider-Man says, “Say no more.” We then see that, unbeknownst to Johnny, Spider-Man has webbed Johnny’s boxers to a nearby flagpole.

Then we have the backup story, also continuing from last issue. Sue felt like Reed was ignoring her, only for Reed’s old flame, super-genius Alyssa Moy, showed up at the new Baxter Building. As this second part begins, Alyssa and Sue are preparing to use the time machine for Alyssa’s next big adventure. Sue says she’s happy to help, but she’s clearly wary of Alyssa speaking so highly of Reed.

Sue and Alyssa travel back in time to Mayan ruins of Xunanguero, which were first discovered by Reed and Alyssa during their college-age adventures. Alyssa finds an artifact that she and Reed missed the first time around. A portal opens, and young Reed and young Alyssa come through it. Sue turns herself and Alyssa invisible, and they watch. Young Reed is very flirtatious with young Alyssa. Sue tries to put it in perspective, but then young Reed proposes marriage to young Alyssa! Alyssa tells Sue she shouldn’t have seen that, and for her to “step back now.”

Then a monster attacks from the other side of the portal. Young Reed reaches for the key to close the portal, but can’t reach it. Sue helps him with an invisible force field, and Alyssa realizes that a future Sue saved their lives that day. Sue and Alyssa return to the present, with Alyssa saying the mission was a success. Alyssa leaves, with Sue saying they’ll meet again sooner rather than later. Alyssa says, “I’d count on it.”

Unstable molecule: Reed tries to coin the phrase “chronalportation” for time travel, only for Alyssa say that she’s the one who originally came up with it.

Fade out: Sue has a very practical attitude toward time travel. She was warned not to change fate by tampering with the past, but she argues that saving her husband’s life is her fate.

Clobberin’ time: Ben asks why he never gets to use the time machine, and Reed says it’s because Ben wanted the Rat Pack to play at his birthday party.  

Flame on: Johnny can burn through Spider-Man’s webs in this issue, when he couldn’t in times past. I like to think  

Trivia time: Yes, Alyssa Moy does come back… eventually. It won’t be for many issues, but we will see the follow-up to Reed’s proposal in this issue.

The Marvel Wiki states that the Cthulu-like monster attacking young Reed and young Alyssa is Xuanaguero itself. This is its only appearance, so we’ll never know what it’s deal is.

This is also the only appearance of Squiddy McSquid, which is too bad. I can totally see her as a character in Squirrel Girl.

Fantastic or frightful? This is a fun superhero romp with a lot of classic Spidey/Torch banter. It also makes Hydro-Man a credible villain, powerful enough to take on two of Marvel’s marquee heroes. But what was Spider-Man trying to say by taking Johnny to the water park? Did Johnny learn anything from the experience? I don’t know. I also liked the backup. It finally fulfils the promise that the Before the Fantastic Four minis didn’t deliver by giving us more backstory about Alyssa Moy.

Next: We’re off to see the wizard.

• * * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. How do you follow up a year-long epic about Heaven and Hell? You bring in Spider-Man as a guest star! That’s just what they do in issue #512.

We begin with Johnny taking a stroll through NYC, seeing Spider-Man merchandise everywhere he goes. He sees people wearing Spider-Man shirts, but only homeless bums are wearing throwaway Human Torch shirts. At a newsstand he sees he has replaced Spider-Man on New York’s “least eligible bachelor” list. Later, Johnny talks to Reed, reminding him (and the readers) that Johnny is still the acting CEO of Fantastic Four Inc., and that the business is hurting after everything that happened in Latveria, thanks to the FF’s newfound poor PR. Reed says he has plenty of lucrative new patents to help the money situation, but regaining the public’s respect will be difficult.

Johnny flames on and sky-writes a message in the sky for Spider-Man asking him to meet in the usual place. That place is the Statue of Liberty, where they regularly hang out. Johnny reluctantly asks Spider-Man for advice. After Spidey jokingly gives him a hard time for a bit, Johnny says the public has hated Spider-Man for a long time. Johnny says, “Tell me how to get through the day as a complete loser!” Spider-Man thinks it’s ridiculous that this is the advice Johnny wants. A helicopter from Homeland Security chases to the two of them off the statue. Back in New York, Spider-Man tells Johnny to meet him again the next day, saying “I’ll let you bend my ear off.”

Elsewhere in the city, Ben shows up at Alicia’s studio to deliver a huge block of stone for her next sculpture. He sees the room filled with sculptures of himself. He goes nuts, smashing them. Alicia arrives, and they have a heart-to-heart. Ben says he made the right call by leaving Heaven, but the experience gave new insight into how lousy life on Earth can be. He also grouses about how he came back still as a big rocky monster and not a human. She tells him that he’s not a monster. She adds that she’s highly sensitive to cold weather, and she says Ben’s rocky hide could be considered a gift.

The next day, Johnny and Spidey meet not at the Statue of Liberty, but at a water slide park, which Johnny admits is not his favorite type of place. Spider-Man goes incognito in a hat and trench coat. Spider-Man announces to the crowd that the world-famous Human Torch is there, but one man is more interested in seeing Spidey. While the Torch fends off people criticizing him about the Latveria incident, he and Spider-Man are attacked by a blast of water.  

The attacker is Hydro-Man, who just got a job at the water park and is trying to go straight. He thinks the superheroes are there to start a fight with him. He attacks first, while a mystery man in the shadows confirms that this meeting was no coincidence. Spider-Man gets the civilians to safety while Johnny fights Hydro-Man, trying to boil him. Hydro-Man soaks Johnny’s clothes, so Johnny takes them off. He then blasts the two into a nearby pool, Johnny cries out for help. Not because he’s injured, but as he shouts when surrounded by water park patrons, “I have no pants!” as his boxers fly away.

To be contin-nude!

Wait there’s more: In a backup story called “Gone fishin’” Sue is on the phone with Alicia, saying things are better between her and Reed since they returned from Latveria, but there’s some emotional distance between them. Sue looks at a photo of Namor the Sub-mariner. Sue then plays a bunch of Namor-related pranks on Reed, such as saying she’s going shopping with Namor, getting Franklin to go swimming in Namor-style trunks, and putting a Namor statue in their living room. Reed responds later than night by stretching his ears and eyebrows into Namor shapes, and the couple shares a laugh. Reed apologies, and Sue says she never gives him grief over his ex-girlfriend Alyssa Moy. He says, “Funny you should ask,” and we see that Alyssa is back, sitting in the next room.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Among Reed’s new patents is a cure for acne (!) which he just sold the Revlon company for a huge dollar amount. I question both the business and medical ethics of this.

Fade out: Sue invoking Namor to make Reed jealous is cute, but didn’t Reed and Namor officially bury the hatchet at the end of Onslaught? I guess some things never change.

Clobberin’ time: When Alicia learned Ben had died, she admits she went overboard in making statues of him. This issue establishes that Ben and Alicia still are not a romantic couple at this time, but they still care for each other deeply.

Flame on: Johnny’s clothes flame on with him instead of burning up, suggesting they are made of unstable molecules, or are at least fireproof. But then the clothes go so wettened that they cause his flame to cut out. I guess this just shows how powerful Hydro-Man is, that he can go one-on-one with the Human Torch.

Four and a half: Franklin and Ben play a joke on Johnny by having Franklin walk around in a Spider-Man baseball cap while Johnny is dealing with Spidey’s newfound popularity.

Our gal Val: Alicia is babysitting Valeria and Franklin when Ben comes over, but she has the kids out of the room for Ben’s rampage and their subsequent heart-to-heart.

Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries established that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. Could her messing with Reed in the backup story be her spycraft training at work?

Trivia time: It’s long been established in Marvel lore that the Statue of Liberty is the go-to meeting place for Johnny and Spider-Man, but tracking the history of that has been somewhat tricky. They first met there in Strange Tales annual #2, and then in Amazing Spider-Man #18, it’s already referred to as their “usual place.” In recent years, there have been additional jokes about how the Torch can just fly out to the statue, but poor Spidey must take a ferry each time.

Although Hydro-Man has beef with Spider-Man in this issue, recall that he was once a member of the Frightful Four, back in issue #326, in a plot involving fanboy villain Aron the Rogue Watcher. Hydr0-Man is a real joiner, having been a member of the Assembly of Evil, the Masters of Evil, the Sinister Six, the Sinister Syndicate, and the Sinister Twelve.

Fantastic or frightful? After all the Heaven and Hell drama of the past years’ worth of comics, this is a fun romp that still deals with the heroes’ recent events. I’m not exactly sure what point Spider-Man is making by taking Johnny to the water park, but we’re having fun so what does it matter?

Next: Salute your shorts!

• * * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

• Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #511 contains one of the most famous (notorious?) scenes in FF history, as the characters meet… the creator.

After more than a year’s worth of drama that included Reed’s face being permanently scarred and Ben dying, are heroes have traveled to Heaven – yes, the Heaven – to bring Ben back to life. This issue picks up with everyone reunited with a human Ben and Ben’s brother Daniel. But this is only the “outskirts” of Heaven. They find themselves before an impassable door that appears to be based on Reed’s designs. Everyone wonders how Reed’s tech got into Heaven, and Ben concludes that Reed is the one responsible for locking Daniel out of Heaven. Ben says that the spark of life Reed sensed in Ben’s body is not what’s keeping him alive, but instead it’s what’s preventing Ben from entering Heaven proper.

Ben says it’s time to say goodbye, permanently this time. Johnny becomes enraged. He attacks Ben, accusing him of being a quitter. Reed and Johnny then fight. Reed accused Johnny of leaving the team because he’s afraid Reed will be responsible for his death like with Ben. As the FF continue to fight among themselves, an earthquake (heavenquake?) occurs all around them. Daniel says everyone’s rage and pain are infecting the place, and Ben insists they have to get through the door.

Ben tries the door again. It opens, to reveal the Thing’s rocky skin on the other side. Ben goes to Reed as Heaven falls apart all around them, saying that Ben put the door there, not Reed. Reed wasn’t holding Ben back, but instead Ben was holding himself back. Ben says he’s not ready to let go. “I’m not leavin’ ya, Reed,” he says. “I’m never leavin’ ya.” With that, the quake stops, and our heroes are reunited with hugs and smiles. Ben says he’s ready to go home.

Only they don’t go home, because Reed remains fixated on the door. Daniel says they can’t blame Reed for being curious, and that he has a message from “the man upstairs,” which is simply to stay. He invites to the FF, and their kids, to remain in Heaven forever, where Reed will have instant access to the answers to every scientific mystery in creation. Reed gives the old it’s-not-the-destination-it’s-the-journey speech. Daniel says “Good answer,” and the door opens. Daniel tells the FF to enjoy their visit, establishing that this is not a one-way trip. Ben and Daniel say their goodbyes, and the FF jump, not walk, into the light.

The FF fly through some cosmic grandeur, made of both space stuff and mechanical gears, before arriving at another door. The open it to meet God himself, and… it’s Jack Kirby!

Kirby (I feel weird calling him “God”) explains “What you see is what I am to you.” He adds that his creations “find the humanity in God.” Kirby takes a phone call from his unnamed collaborator about a storyline involving Black Panther and Silver Surfer. The FF watch him draw a futuristic cityscape, which he calls his contribution a grand tapestry. He says creation is part of a process, describing words and pictures setting the stage for both the ordinary and cosmic. Kirby says his creations are his window into the future, and that the mystery of what is to come intrigues him.

Reed doubts that a pencil is the key to the universe, but Kirby tells him all of history’s greatest inventions began with simple tools. He adds that pencils also have erasers, and he uses his to erase the scars from Reed’s face. He tells Johnny that the FF are nobody’s puppets, but that “We’re all our own storytellers, and there are plenty of stories still left in you.”  He then returns Ben to his rocky form, matter-of-factly saying everybody knows that how Ben will come back. He also matter-of-factly adds that Reed’s machine that brought them there will never work a second time. “I admire your imagination,” he says to Reed. “I always have.”

As the FF are transported away from Heaven, Johnny asks for a souvenir, and Kirby says he’ll whip something up. The FF reappear back in the new Baxter Building, safe and sound. The souvenir is a pencil drawing of an older Fantastic Four with the words “To be continued!” on it. Reed describes the drawing as “a happy ending.”

Unstable molecule: What to make of healing Reed’s scars with a near-literal deus ex machina? The scars were a symbol of Dr. Doom, and how Doom’s menace is always lurking about Reed, even when it seems Doom is defeated. Dr. Doom isn’t mentioned in this issue, suggesting that all the darkness and intensity Reed has gone through during this arc has finally been lifted. We’ll see if that’s true moving forward.  

Fade out: Sue doesn’t fight with her teammates in the first half, and she has the least one-on-one interactions with Kirby in the second half. This suggests that reuniting her family is more important to her than all this cosmic grandeur.

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s big moment in this issue isn’t him turning back into the Thing and coming back to life, it’s his goodbye to his brother. Daniel asks if the old neighborhood is still the same, and Ben says, “Not without you there, Danny boy.”

Flame on: The conflict between Johnny and Reed begins and ends quickly. I wonder if there was more written than what we got in this issue.

Trivia time: Jack Kirby previously appeared as a character in Fantastic Four as a human when he and Stan Lee were kicked out of Reed and Sue’s wedding (this is canon) and when Dr. Doom burst into the Marvel Comics offices to demand into on the FF (this is also canon). The Marvel Wiki reconciles this by saying what we see in this issue is God taking the appearance of Jack Kirby. Further, it states that this is one of several deities who are alleged to be the lone creator of all life on Earth and the universe, and the exact nature of God in the Marvel Universe has never been officially confirmed.

The hardcover trade paperback includes a lot of behind-the-scenes material about this story. There’s a bunch of saved e-mails between writer Mark Waid and editor Tom Brevoort. Breevort’s advice included ensuring that the technology that brought the FF to Heaven is a one-use-only machine, and making sure the political situation in Latveria was resolved before the FF left for Heaven.

Also in the hardcover, Mark Waid writes about the Kirby character was written just general enough so that young readers not familiar with comics history would still get the point that the character is a comic book artist. Additionally, Waid says Marvel had instituted its policy of not depicting smoking in comics, but he wanted Kirby to appear with his trademark cigar. The compromise was to include an ashtray with cigar on Kirby’s desk.

Fantastic or frightful? How do you write a story of someone meeting God and/or their own creator, and how do not make that story all hackneyed and schmaltzy? I don’t have the answer, but Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo do a good job of it… mostly. The big scene plays out like Waid had list of points he wanted to make and fixes he wanted done, and it’s just him going down the list. But the intent comes from a good place, and the final result is, dare I say, cute. What bugs me, though, is how this is used to heal Reed. Did Reed earn this, emotionally? Does this have any transformative elements for Reed and Ben as characters? It happens so quick that there’s no way to know. Still, this storyline started in a dark place way, way back in Vol. 3 #67 ends in a light place at its conclusion, which is nice.

Next: Does whatever a spider can.

• * * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The FF have been to space, to other times, to other universes, and to Hell. Now, in issue #510, they journey into… Heaven!

After the final battle between Reed and Dr. Doom that left Reed’s face irreparably scarred, Reed took control of Latveria to dismantle everything Doom had built. This caused an international crisis. Then Reed tried trapping Doom’s soul in an inescapable afterlife, only for Doom to escape and possess Ben’s body. Ben took a hit from a superweapon that stopped Doom, killing Ben in the process. Undaunted, Reed went back Dr. Doom’s original experiment from his origin story, where he tried and failed to free his mother from the afterlife. Reed says he perfected Doom’s tech, and now he, Sue and Johnny are attempting to bring Ben back by venturing into the unknown – into Heaven itself.

This issue begins with our heroes arriving in a grassy plain, and immediately being attacked by angels with flaming swords. The FF fight defensively, with Reed stating “We come in peace” the whole time. A flaming message appears on an angel’s face, stating “You don’t belong here,” and then all the angels disappear.

Johnny questions whether this world is actually Heaven, while Reed insists the team press on in their search for Ben. Elsewhere, outside some gigantic castle, we see a human-looking Ben and an unnamed man. Ben wants to talk to Reed, but the man says too many rules are being broken by Reed’s presence already. “We’ll have to hit your friends even harder once they’re completely through the veil,” he says.

The FF come across their next obstacle, a bunch of floating islands. Reed puts them together like a big jigsaw puzzle, allowing them to continue walking forward. Johnny and Reed get into quite an argument. Johnny blames Reed for everything that went down in Latveria, including Ben’s death. Reed says that if Ben would still be alive and Doom wouldn’t have gotten loose if Johnny had only stayed put and done what he’d been told. Sue plays peacemaker, saying Ben is the reason why they’re all there. They press on, and we see all these little floating islands are coming together to look like Ben’s rocky skin.

The FF pass through some fog, and end up in the new Baxter Building, not just with Franklin and Valeria but a whole bunch of Franklins and Valerias. Sue says this is “All the best days of their lives.” Sue questions Reed on whether this mission is the right thing to do, saying that maybe there are some mysteries mankind was not meant to solve. Everyone passes through another fog, where Johnny and Sue are reunited with their long-dead parents. It’s a happy reunion, except Johnny suspects something is not right about this afterlife. The heroes are then washed away in a wave of red liquid. (Is it blood?)

Ben and the unnamed man talk about opening a door in front of Ben. Ben says he doesn’t need anyone’s help opening it, as he struggles against it. Reed, Sue and Johnny wash up in an underground cave where they are attacked by small winged creatures. It’s the angels again, but now they’re tiny. Their little wings are razor sharp, and they cut up the FF real good. Just when it looks like our heroes are defeated, Ben appears to pull them to safety.

Ben is happy to see the other three again, but he says it’s for one last time. Reed says Ben belongs back on Earth, that he doesn’t belong there. The unnamed man agrees that Ben doesn’t belong there. Reed recognizes the man as Ben’s brother Daniel Grimm. Ben explains that they’re not actually in Heaven, just the “outskirts.” The real Heaven is on the other side of the big door Ben can’t open. Danny tells Reed to look at the door to see who built it. Reed examines the door and discovers that he, Reed Richards, is the one who built it.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says that what everyone is seeing in Heaven is beyond what mortal beings can comprehend, but instead everything they’re seeing is their own minds translating images based on their own preconceived existing theological conceptions. Sure, why not?

Fade out: The story behind Sue and Johnny’s parents, Franklin and Mary Storm, was told back in issue #32. Mary had died in car crash. After falling on hard times and making poor choices, Franklin sacrificed his life to save the FF from a Skrull bomb.

Clobberin’ time: Who is Daniel Grimm? His story was told in Thing #1. He was a former leader of the Yancy Street Gang, and he died in a brawl. Ben always thanked his brother for teaching him integrity.

Flame on: Johnny jokes (or not?) that his idea of Heaven is Britney Spears feeding him chocolate-covered strawberries in front of a hundred-inch plasma screen TV. Later, Sue jokes (or not?) that Johnny wandered off in search of Heaven’s lingerie department.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: The Heavenly versions of Franklin and Valeria are all the age they currently, although the different Franklins have different hair lengths.

Trivia time: Not surprisingly, Heaven and angels are inconsistent in their depictions in the Marvel Universe. In Ghost Rider, angels are villains, and there was an ongoing storyline about a fallen angel named Zadkiel leading a war in Heaven. In Amazing X-Men, Nightcrawler was in Heaven after he died. Although it was a paradise, he found himself battling the so-called “Heaven’s Pirates,” and then facing an invasion of Heaven from devilish father Azazel. In Howard the Duck, Howard ended up in Heaven where he had a lengthy conversation with God, all about the similarities between organized religion and corporate greed. Finally, in 1953, Marvel (then Atlas) published 5 issues of Bible Tales for Young People, which the Marvel Wiki states is canon with the Marvel Universe.

Fantastic or frightful? A fun romp that lets artist Mike Wieringo cut loose with the fantasy visuals he’s famous for, while also bringing out the tension among the characters over everything that’s happened during this storyline. Really exciting stuff as this arc nears its conclusion.

Next: Hail to the king.

• * * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.