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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. For readers who’ve been wondering if any of these storylines are going anywhere, here’s vol 3 #53 legacy #482 with the answers.

Gimmie a gimmick: This is the third of four issues with connected Mike Wieringo-drawn covers that create a single image, from top to bottom rather than from left to right.

Continuing with what the previous issues started, this one begins with another flashback to World War II, where the original android human torch battles a bunch of no-good Nazis. The mysterious children with glowing eyes flee the battle and run off to live in secret. On that day, they became… the Hidden Ones.

Cut to modern-day New York, where Dr. Doom has stepped onto the main floor of the United Nations, to challenge Reed and offer sanctuary to the Inhumans, whose presence has caused controversy throughout the nation. Doom takes the mic, giving a big speech about how, as a child, he was once considered to be an outcast and outsider. But, he also states that the Earth needs protecting from dangerous space aliens, and not the Earth-born Inhumans. He also takes a shot at the FF, saying they’ve failed to stop alien invasions in the past.

Cut to Stern Academy in upstate New York, where Franklin is attending school. Anti-alien sentiment is here as well, with kids and teachers fretting about the likes of the Skrulls and Galactus, and one bully saying the FF are in league with aliens. Franklin, who is there in a secret identity, tries to stand up for his family, but gets shot down when the bully calls him a “freak lover.” A pointy-haired kid named Robert stands up for Franklin, and they’re friends now.

Anti-Inhuman protests continue in NYC, as the Inhumans debate whether to take Dr. Doom’s offer of sanctuary. Reed cautions them not to, saying Doom must have an ulterior motive. Medusa says the Inhumans can’t stay as guests in the new Baxter Building forever, but must find a home of their own somewhere. Johnny returns to the Baxter Building just in time for all the power to go out, allowing the protestors to evolve into rioters, storming the building. Sue gets a message from the Guardsmen, the iron-armored guards of super-prison the Vault, who claim they have secured the Baxter Building for purposes of capturing the Inhumans. When Sue, who is pregnant, tries to block the Guardsmen with a force field, she collapses with glowing energy, saying “Something’s wrong!”

Reed, meanwhile, is at the Vault to discuss the anti-Inhuman sentiment, only to learn that the Guardsmen have abducted Ben and locked him up. It’s here we finally get the reveal that the mystery woman with the glowing eyes we’ve been following for several issues is Senso, one of the Hidden Ones. She has Ben trapped in a special Vault cell that won’t let him transform from human into the Thing. She says she plans to destroy both the Inhumans and the Fantastic Four. She adds that if the FF had never made their original spaceflight, then the Hidden Ones would have been free to continue living in secrecy. But the FF opened the door to superhumans of all kinds running around Earth, so Senso demands revenge.

Ben’s willpower breaks through Senso’s influence. He transforms into the Thing and escapes his cell. But then Senso zaps him again and he falls under her mind-control once more. We abruptly cut to Reed and Vault warden, where Senso steps through the door and now claims that world domination is also among her plans. She says she’s the one who shut off the Baxter Building’s defenses, and she zaps Reed with her psychic powers. At the Baxter Building, Sue explains how her baby is the same one she lost years earlier, who has been “restored” when Franklin rewrote the timeline a few issues back. Except that was a dangerous pregnancy, and now history is about to repeat itself. While the Inhumans fight off the Guardsmen, Johnny leaves, saying he’ll save Sue, even if he has to make a deal with “the devil himself!”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed mentions working on “Project Stellar Shield” with military leaders, but instead we later find him at the Vault. Did he skip the meeting? Also, he flies a new type of Fantasticar that has three seats, not four, which Reed named “Richards One.”  

Clobberin’ time: There’s a reference to Ben’s “new girlfriend.” This would be Kate O’Meara of Damage Patrol who’s been flirty with Ben in recent issues, but maybe it’s gotten more serious than that.

Flame on: Johnny equates losing control of his flame with losing control of everything in his life, which gives him drive to put things right at the end.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Crystal and Johnny are awkwardly reunited, with her giving up and admitting that Johnny’s obnoxiousness is just him being Johnny. She later speaks on behalf of the Inhumans, declaring “We’re not monsters!”

Medusa seems okay with the idea of the Inhumans relocating to Latveria. She asks Black Bolt what he thinks, but they’re interrupted before he can get any sort of answer.

Four and a half: This is the only appearance of Franklin’s friend Robbie. Several fan sites believe that Robbie is actually H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot in disguise, as we’re getting reintroduced to H.E.R.B.I.E. in the near future. But this is only speculation, with nothing in the text stating it. (Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot.)

Commercial break: It was nice of them to give Mignola a shout-out.

Trivia time: As noted above, the Guardsmen are the high-tech guards at the Vault. So why are they running around NYC in these issues? Turns out they have a history of aligning with supervillains rather than locking them up. They’re often seen partnering with Justin Hammer in conflict against Iron Man, and they took on Iron Man himself during the Armor Wars crossover. After the Vault was shut down, the government still uses the Guardsmen armor for whatever suit-of-armor mission are needed.

Fantastic or frightful? All the story threads of the past several issues finally start coming together into a single plot, which is refreshing. It’s mostly setup for the next issue, but it does the job.

Next: How many pages?

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. But there’s no regular post this week because of [INSERT EXCUSE HERE] so here’s some amusing Dr. Doom panels instead.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Last issue, the Inhumans returned. This issue, vol. 3 #53, legacy #481, the Inhumans continue returning.

Gimmie a gimmick: This is second of four connected Mike Wieringo-drawn covers that create a single image, from top to bottom rather than from left to right.

We begin with a quick flashback to World War II, where the super-powered children from last issue’s WWII flashback are being harshly trained in the use of their powers. The beautiful young girl with the strange eyelids is among them, watching.  Cut to the present, where that some woman is aboard a U.S. satellite, where the staff is working alongside Reed to place a force field around the entire Earth to prevent alien invasions. He chides them for killing off Sandorr’s Hunters last issue, when the hunters were merely trying to flee the planet. He also inquires about the shape-changing member of the Hunters, who has disappeared. (We the readers know that the shape-changer was killed by the Guardians of the Vault, who are flying around New York in secret.) The man in charge of satellite pushes back against Reed saying it’s time for the “second phase” to start.

Cut to a movie set, where we see Johnny filming the Rawhide Kid movie. He stands off against a villain, fighting him with his gun, his fists, and even throwing his badge like a ninja star. But then he starts to heat up, bursting into flame and flying off. He says he needs to cool off for a while. The director and producer worry about what to do about Johnny. The producer enters his trailer where he meets a mysterious man named Lon Zelig, who shape-changes into a replica of Johnny in the Rawhide Kid costume, saying, “A good actor must be able to become another person.”

At the Baxter Building, Sue holds a press conference alongside the Inhuman royal family. She tells reporters that although the Inhumans’ ship recently came crashing down from space, they are not destructive invaders. Medusa tells the reporters that Inhuman royal family has chosen to return to Earth, while the rest of their people chose to remain in space, to explore the stars. One man among the reporters has glowing yellow eyes, and the rest of the reporters start attacking the Inhumans for being alien-like. A full-on riot breaks out. She activates the building’s defenses, which cause mechanical tentacles (!) come out of nowhere and attack everyone.

Five minutes earlier, according to the caption, Ben is in human form, walking the streets of NYC with a tracking device, hoping to find the missing shape-changing alien. He’s attacked by two of the guardsmen. His powers go haywire, and instead of changing into the Thing, he becomes a half-human, half-Thing. Even at half-strength, the Guardsmen are no match for him, but then he’s shot from behind by a beautiful woman in a black dress. She introduces herself as Senso. (Note that is the mystery woman Ben encountered when he fought the Grey Gargoyle in issue #39, when he first gained the power to be human again).

At that instant, again according to the caption, Reed is addressing United Nations General Assembly about efforts to confine or control all extraterrestrials on Earth. He uses Thor, Namor, and the Mar-Vell version of Captain Marvel as examples of aliens who have done good for Earth. There are more people with glowing eyes in the audience. The delegates from Italy, Chad and Canada call Reed a traitor to Earth and accuse him of being in league with evil aliens. Then a voice from the back of the room offers asylum to all extraterrestrials, as well as the Inhumans, in his country. Turn the page and it’s… Dr. Doom!

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says he developed the planetwide defensive field for defense against attack only, and therefore he doesn’t approve of the staff using it to destroy a single alien ship.

Fade out: Sue spends most of this issue standing behind a podium addressing the press, so we can only tell she’s pregnant in one or two panels. It’s like when a TV doesn’t do that great of a job hiding an actress’ pregnancy.

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s powers turn him half-human in this issue because the Guardsmen used a “cosmic ray dampener.” Seems like the existence of such a thing would be a big concern for the FF, but Ben isn’t too fazed by it.

Flame on: The comic finally remembers that Johnny’s powers have gone haywire. It seems that he can now only be flamed off for so long before his fire comes back out of his control.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Sue is quick to remind that both Crystal and Medusa are alternative members of the Fantastic Four, adding that their efforts as part of the team helped save the Earth on more than one occasion.

Commercial break: How many kids turned these little pizzas into little Frisbees in the school cafeteria?  

Trivia time: I guess we should talk about the Rawhide Kid. Not unlike Kid Colt, who we met a few issues back, Rawhide Kid is also a fugitive, riding from town to town after being framed for a crime he didn’t commit. He built up quite a rogue’s gallery over time, including the Living Totem, the Cougar, the Red Raven, the Ape, the Tombstone Tyrant, the Masked Maverick, and Marko the Manhunter. Thanks to time travel, Rawhide Kid has met the Avengers and the X-Men on multiple occasions. What’s more, he also briefly appeared in Fantastic Four. In issue #405, when Zarko the Tomorrow Man brought a bunch of characters from different timelines into FF headquarters, Rawhide Kid was among them. An in-poor taste parody comic published in 2002 outed Rawhide Kid as gay, but the Marvel wiki has this series listed under “uncertain chronology.”  

Fantastic or frightful? This is another in-between issue, continuing various storylines, with the promise that it’s building to something. The anti-alien and anti-Inhuman paranoia feel like a retread of all the anti-mutant hysteria perennially happening the X-Men books, where it (usually) is done better. So, not much of an issue. Don’t worry, we’re almost at Waid and Wieringo!

Next: Hey there, hot stuff.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. A new story arc begins in vol. 3 #51 legacy #480, while dragging all the ongoing subplots along with it. We’ve also got a little bit of a rotating door of creative teams for the next few issues before Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo take over. In this issue we still have Carlos Pacheco and Rafael Martin on scripts, joined by Karl Kesel as a third co-writer. Mark Bagley, one of Marvel’s top dogs thanks to Ultimate Spider-Man, takes over the art.

Gimmie a gimmick: The great Mike Wieringo makes his FF debut on the cover, and this is the first of four covers that make a single image when combined. This has been done before, but instead of left to right, these four covers connect from top to bottom.

We begin in 1942, for a mountain expedition by explorer Erik Jaggar. He and his team travel over snow-capped mountains only to come upon a green valley, which he calls “a great refuge from the storms.” He and his team find a grass-hut livin’ civilization where there are beautiful people, but also strange children with superhuman powers. Jaggar panics, pulls out his gun and opens fire. His men do the same, killing off the adults. As for the strange children, Jaggar orders his men to round up the children and take them back to Berlin… to meet the Fuhrer.

In New York in the present, Reed, pregnant Sue, and Franklin are driving upstate where Franklin is going to be enrolled in school. Reed does that thing where he alters his face, and he explains to Franklin the importance of having a secret identity. They arrive at the prestigious Stern Academy, which Reed and Sue describe as the Xavier School but without mutants, and Hogwarts but without magic. They meet school headmaster Carmine Stern, where Franklin is enrolled under the name “Richard Franklin.” On the ride back home, Reed and Sue discuss whether they’ve made the right decision, and Reed off-handedly mentions that he recently placed a defensive energy shield around the entire Earth (!).

The White House then contacts Reed saying that an unknown spacecraft has contacted the United Nations with permission to land, using the Fantastic Four’s “entry code.” Reed’s car transforms into a flying car (because of course it does) and takes off. In Manhattan, Ben, in his human form, is on a date with Kate O’Meara of Damage Control when he sees the approaching alien ship. Reed’s flying car zooms by, and Sue picks up Ben in a force field. Ben transforms into the Thing, and the three of them investigate the alien craft, now landed near the United Nations building. The ship opens, and out walks… the Inhumans!

Specifically, there are members of the Inhuman royal family, Black Bolt, Medusa, Karnak, Triton, and Gorgon (who, let’s not forget, once single-handedly defeated the Fantastic Four). Medusa speaks on Black Bolt’s behalf, saying he is the former king of their people, and the five of them have come to the U.N. seeking asylum. Before she can continue, a second spaceship appears and attacks. The enemy ship opens, and the Inhumans are attacked by villains named Sandorr’s Hunters, made up of Sandorr, Cordon, Mistur, Mud-ah, and Linga.

Everyone fights! Sandorr reveals he’s a bounty hunter, here to capture the Inhumans. Although the baddies put a good fight, they’re not match for the combined power of both the Inhumans and the FF. Sandor orders his team to retreat, and they all do except for Mistur. In space, a military anti-alien defense satellite spots Sandorr’s fleeing ship and destroys it. A female soldier aboard the satellite says there is no denying what they all want, “fewer aliens among us.” Back in New York, Mistur tries to make his escape disguised as a human, but he’s caught by two Guardsmen, the armor-clad guards of super-prison the Vault, who shoot and kill Mistur.

Back at the new Baxter Building, Medusa and the Inhumans catch up on what’s been going on. In the recent Inhumans miniseries, the Inhuman royal family had been abducted by the Kree aliens to be used as assassins against rival aliens the Shi’ar. Black Bolt defeated the Kree, but was deposed as the Inhuman king because of his actions while under Kree command. Sandorr was one of many bounty hunters the Kree have sent after the Inhumans. Medusa fears they will have nowhere to go, but Reed tells her he contacted someone who can help. On cue, Crystal appears, courtesy of giant teleporting dog Lockjaw.

Crystal catches up with everyone, and she asks where Johnny is. This lets us cut to the desert, where Johnny is filming his big Hollywood movie, a Western based on the Rawhide Kid. Just as soon as we glimpse that subplot, we cut to the Vault, where Mistur is still alive. He informs the US military that Black Bolt attempted to kill the Shi’ar empress while under Kree control. He also tells them that he and his team are the only ones that know the Inhumans are on Earth. With that, the military woman seen on the satellite earlier orders the guards to kill Mistur, for real this time. There’s a close-up on the woman’s eye, revealing that she’s the beautiful young girl from the 1942 prologue.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: What’s the deal with Reed and the Army building this planetwide anti-alien tech? Around this time in Marvel with had the Celestial Quest story in Avengers, and the already-mentioned Kree/Shi’ar war, but these weren’t outright alien invasions of Earth. Shortly after this issue, alien will attack Earth in a big way in X-treme X-Men, so I guess all these new defenses didn’t last.

Fade out: When visiting Stern Academy, Sue’s disguise to make her hair look shorter by turning part of it invisible. It’s a real “Clark Kent’s glasses” thing going on here.

Clobberin’ time: Ben met Kate O’Meara of Damage Control back in vol. 3 #37, and she was into him even before he had the ability to turn human.

Flame on: There’s NO mention of how Johnny’s powers have gone haywire and are dangerous. I guess we can assume that his red-and-yellow outfit from last issue keeps his powers in control and then also assume he’s wearing it under his Rawhide Kid costume. This is a lot of assumptions, though.

Fantastic fifth wheel: When speaking to police outside the U.N., Medusa invokes her Fantastic Four membership in hopes of gaining their trust.

What’s Crystal been up to? After returning to the Marvel Universe in Heroes Return, she helped set up a new Avengers team, after which she re-joined her Inhuman family and got back to work raising her daughter Luna. She was a main character in the 1998 and 2000 Inhumans miniseries.

Four and a half: It appear that Franklin will be living at Stern Academy for the time being. I tried to find whether the school is named after Marvel writer Roger Stern, but neither the Marvel Wiki nor the fan-made Marvel Appendix sites have entries about the school.  

Commercial break: Excuse me?

Trivia time: This is the first, last, and only appearance of Sandorr’s Hunters. You’d think Marvel would bring them back sometime to take the Guardians of the Galaxy. Sandorr appears to be an intelligent Brood alien (possible relative of Broo from the X-Men?). Cordon is a robot with unbreakable armor, Mistur is the shape-changer, Linga has stretching powers and a laser eye, and Mud-ar is the big musclebound bruiser.

Fantastic or frightful? This issue is mostly setting up the next few issues while continuing the ongoing subplots. The fight scene is a lot of fun, and the Inhumans are written well, easily reestablishing them as part of the Fantastic Four’s supporting cast.

Next: Democratic process.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s issue #50 of volume 3 (legacy #479), so it’s hyped up as an anniversary issue, but it’s also part of a company-wide stunt that ended up not being much of a stunt.

 This is Fantastic Four’s “Nuff Said” issue. The deal here is that every Marvel comic this month was to publish a comic that was images only, with no dialogue or captions. For Fantastic Four #50, they did the stunt for only the first of four stories in the issue. It begins with a lot of horsing around as the FF meet in the kitchen for breakfast. Then Sue, who is again pregnant with her second child thanks to all the timeline-rewriting of the previous issue, goes to the doctor to check on baby, and She-Hulk joins her for moral support. As the doctor examines Sue, the “tac-tac-tac” sound effect appears, recalling the cosmic rays that originally gave the FF their powers.

Johnny and Namorita attend a party for Johnny’s movie (remember when he was acting in that movie?). A young woman tries to kiss Johnny, but her lips are burned. Namorita feels heat emanating from Johnny and a drink in his hand turns to steam. The idea here is that even with his special suit, his powers are still out of control. The “tac-tac-tac” effect is heard again. Cut to Ben, who is watching a chess game in Central Park. He flashes back to his early days as the Thing, when angry mobs chased him around the city. The flashback extends to Sue and Johnny, both learning to use their powers shortly after gaining them. Then we flash back even farther to the FF’s origin, getting bombarded by cosmic rays and crashing down to Earth with their powers.

Back in the present, Johnny’s party goes well, and we see that his movie is a Western called Blazing Star, and Johnny is playing the Rawhide Kid. Ben helps one of the chess guys win his game, and Sue uses her powers to let everyone see the baby, who is healthy. Sue, Ben, and Johnny confront Reed in his lab holding up a newspaper with their picture and the headline “Anniversary.” From that, we can interpret this is how they spent their anniversary of the day they got their powers. On the last page, Dr. Doom is all along, watching footage of the FF’s anniversary coverage. He taps his finger on the arm of his chair, making the “tac-tac-tac” noise.

The second story is a parody in the style of Marvel’s famously unfunny comedy series Not Brand Ecch. Various Marvel staffers play FF characters and their villains in an overly wacky look at how the comic is made.

The third story, “Eye of the Beholder,” Ben and Johnny are participating in a bachelor auction alongside Tony Stark. It’s hosted by Rosie O’Donnell, of all people. A beautiful woman bids on Johnny right away. Ben suspects no one will bid on him, but Sue, She-Hulk, and the Wasp are all in the audience, and they all bid on him. A mystery woman in a veil wins the bid with ten thousand dollars. Ben learns the veiled woman, Babs, keeps her face hidden because she suffers from psoriasis, and she was only bidding on behalf of her sister, not herself. Upon meeting the sister, Ben says he would rather go out with Babs. Johnny, meanwhile, learns that his date also bid on behalf of someone else, a woman badly burned in a fire, and she wants Johnny to help her get over her fear of flame. The next morning, Sue asks Ben and Johnny how their dates went, and they answer in unison, “I met the beautiful girl today!”

The fourth and final story has Ben and Johnny out shopping, looking for an anniversary gift for Reed and Sue. They get chased by groupies for a bit, and then sit on a bench while struggling to think of the perfect gift idea. They then spot a travel agency, and arrange an Alaskan cruise for the whole family. On the cruise, Reed pontificates about the science of the northern lights, but Sue shushes him with a kiss.

Unstable molecule: There’s a gag where Reed is working on a breakfast-making device, but it produces a small brown object that looks like a rock (or, perhaps, something a lot more gross). You’d think that this would be followed up on by the end of the story, but no.  

Fade out: Sue’s flashback has her preparing for a modeling shoot, or perhaps an acting gig. This isn’t something we saw her do in the early days, but I suppose it’s not out of the question.

Clobberin’ time: Ben transforms into a human during the breakfast scene, reminding us that he can do that now. But when he goes for a walk in Central Park, he’s back to being the rocky Thing. What to make of that?

Flame on: I think we’re to assume that Johnny’s red-and-yellow uniform is the one containing his out-of-control powers, replacing the bulky red armor from a few issues previous. Further, the Marvel Wiki conforms the third and fourth stories in this issue take place in the near future, sometime around issue 54-55, after the current subplots get wrapped.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk’s presence in this one is just to remind us that she is still pals with the FF.

Four and a half: Franklin appears only the breakfast scene, eating with a teddy bear beside him. So much for portraying him as older now.

Our gal Val: Baby Valeria (though she’s not technically named that yet) has blue eyes and a full head of blonde hair. Those Storm genes, am I right?

Commercial break: Tiny, oddly-shaped DC-ROMs. There’s no way these things actually worked, right?

Trivia time: The “Nuff Said” event was something of a mixed bag. A lot of comics seem to have cheated their way through it. In Amazing Spider-Man and Incredible Hulk, they cheated by having characters read and communicate via text on screens. X-Treme X-Men apparently removed all the dialogue from the preexisting script, making for baffling reading. In Exiles and X-Statix, issues were devoted entirely to exploring weird dreamscapes. New X-Men had a character speak on the last page, and this issue of Fantastic Four only did it in one short story. The best of the bunch was the Punisher issue, in which Garth Ennis handed the writing duties over to artist Steve Dillon for a simple but effective story of the Punisher shooting up some crooks. Marvel included Dillon’s script in the back of the issue, and the entire thing is only 24 words long (!).

Fantastic or frightful? For an anniversary issue, with the word “anniversary” all over it, there’s not much going on here. It looks more like these four shorts are placeholders to work around the Nuff Said event, and then continue the story proper in the next issue. It’s a cute couple of stories, but that’s about it.

Next: Back to school.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!