Reading the entire dictionary front to back! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. Look at that, we’re starting the letter L!

This section starts with LA, which is not a musical note, but short for Los Angeles, or Louisiana, or lanthanum. This is followed by laari, which the dictionary just defines as “money.” The internet further informs me this is Maldivian currency. And then there’s lab, which is short for either laboratory or labrador retriever.

Speaking of which, a labrador retriever is “any of a breed of strongly built retrievers having a short dense black, yellow, or chocolate coat.” What’s the difference between “brown” and “chocolate” in this case?

Hey ladies, the definition of lady is “a woman of property, rank, or authority,” and “a woman of superior social position or of refinement.” There’s also ladylike, which just means “well bred.” Is this appropriate or old-fashioned? And I don’t even know what the phrase “woman of property” is supposed to mean.

Then we arrive on land, which is “the solid part of the surface of the earth,” “realm, domain,” and “nation.” It has a lot more definitions as a verb, including but not limited to “bring to or arrive at a destination,” and “to alight or cause to alight on a surface.” This kicks off a long list of words with land- as a prefix.

I think the dictionary writers felt the pressure was on for language, because they went all out: “the words, their pronunciation, and the methods of combining them used and understood by a community.” I’d say that covers it.

The dictionary loves animals – including gross ones – with larva, “the wingless often wormlike form in which insects hatch from the egg,” and “any young animal (as a tadpole) that is fundamentally unlike its parent.” I guess that also describes teenagers, am I right?

Then we get futuristic (sort of) with laser, “a device that produces an intense monochromatic beam of light.” And yes, the dictionary is smart enough to add that laser stands for “light amplification of stimulated emission of radiation.” You can use that one to impress people at parties.

We’re having fun. To laugh is “to show mirth, joy, or scorn with a chuckle or explosive vocal sound.” It’s sad but true that scorn is included in this. Also, “explosive vocal sound” would be a great band name.

A legend is “a story coming down from the past, especially one popularly accepted as historical though not verifiable.” The more I think about it, the more I think this is a particularly apt description.

Next: Get licked.

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