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I freakin’ love The Dark Crystal! Let’s watch it! Today, we get some action and carnage, 47:11-49:01 on the Blu-ray.

The Podlings are in the midst of their big-time wild party, only to be interrupted when a big, black claw smashes through a wall. The Garthim are there, attacking. We get shots of them tearing up the walls, complete with debris falling all over their heads. Having the puppets interact with their environments like this continues to “sell” their existence in this world, so we don’t think of them as puppets but as big, scary bug monsters.

The Podlings scream with fear, and a lot of them are frozen in place, apparently too terrified to react. Fizzgig growls at a Garthim, and then quickly ducks out of the way before one of them smashes him with its claw. Kira is the only one who keeps her cool, finding Jen amid the chaos and telling him to come with her. One Podling decides to fight back, ineffectively bonking a Garthim on the back with her cane. In the manga Legend of the Dark Crystal, Gelflings Lahr and Neffi showed the world that the Garthim could be defeated in battle. It’s unknown whether their story survived and if the characters in the movie are aware of it, but this one Podling, at least, shows there’s some belief in fighting back.

As Jen and Kira try to flee, a Garthim grabs hold of Jen. Jen uses the crystal shard as a knife-like weapon, stabbing it. It hits the Garthim with a blue glow, hinting at whatever energy-based or perhaps magical qualities the shard contains. We then cut immediately to the Mystics, still in the midst of their long journey. Their heads all perk up, as they can somehow sense the shard has been used. What are we to make of this? That they are in tune enough with the crystal to know when it is being used? That this is the Dark Crystal’s way of calling to them, as it called to the Skeksis earlier? We’re not told – it’s up to the audience to interpret.  Then there’s more shots of the Garthim chasing around the Podlings, including one of the Garthim picking up a Podling. Then a shot of Jen and Kira outside, with her leading him away from the fight, Fizzgig right behind them.

Stuff of nightmares: Inside, the Garthim pick up more Podlings, stuffing them into big cages, their sad, frightened little faces pressed up against the bars.

The cages appear to be made out of bamboo, so bamboo exists on this world. What I want to know is, who built these cages? They don’t match the designs seen inside the Skeksis’ castle, and I doubt the Garthim made them, as they don’t appear to be craftsmen of any sort. If I may speculate, perhaps they were made by the non-essence Podling slaves the Skeksis keep in their castle, or perhaps the cages are the creations of Skekis who, in earlier years, traveled widely. These include SkekLach the Collector, from the manga, and SkekMal the Hunter or SkekCru the Mariner, whom we know only from the DarkCrystal.com website.

Oooh, man. Then there’s a shot of a child Podling, holding a doll, looking around in confusion as the Garthim rage all around her. When I saw The Dark Crystal on the big screen at the Brattle Theater in Cambridge a few years ago, folks in the audience lost their freakin’ minds with fear that something awful was about to happen to this little one. Fortunately, a grownup Podling – a parent, assumedly – takes the kid and escorts her away. In the next shot, we can see that the bamboo cages are affixed to the back of the Garthim, and are bent to a similar shape as the Garthims’ backs.

One Garthim stars right at the camera, giving us another good look at its purple crystal eyes, along with a sharp musical sting. The camera then cuts to Jen and Kira. This reestablishes to the audience that although the Garthim and snatching up Podlings, the Gelflings are the ones they’re really after.

We’re outside now, and three Garthim are looking around. One of them sees Jen and Kira and starts running at them. It looks like it’s all over, but no. The Chamberlain is there, dressed all in rags. He jumps out of nowhere – or, at least, from the right of the frame. We don’t know where he was hiding. He raises his hand, and the Garthim stop in their tracks. Jen insists he and Kira run, and they do. Fleeing into the woods, Jen asks “What was that creature?” and Kira answers, “Skeksis.” This raises the question of how she knows that. Has Kira encountered Skeksis in person before, or does she merely know about them from stories? The latter seems more likely, but there’s no way to know for sure.

The Garthim start to move forward again, but all the Chamberlain has to do raise his hand once more, and they back off, turning and walking away. This shows that, although banished, the Chamberlain can still command the Garthim, just by virtue of his being a Skeksis. Again, we think of the Chamberlain as whining and skeletal, but here we see him as the “man of action,” jumping into the fray and bossing around the monsters. The scene ends with him turning and looking back the way the Gelflings ran. He does his famous whimper again, reminding the audience that he’s “that guy,” still a part of the plot.

Next: The long dark night of the Gelfling soul.

****

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I freakin’ love The Dark Crystal! Let’s watch it! The movie gets to cut loose and have a little fun in these scenes, 44:24-47:10 on the Blu-ray.

We’ve seen the Podlings several times before now, as both the slaves of the Skeksis, and in Kira’s dream-fasting with Jen, but this is our first formal introduction to them. It’s night now, and Jen and Kira walk through some trees, and we get a look at the Podling village. It’s hard to tell, but it looks like they live inside hollowed out trees. The book World of the Dark Crystal tells us that they live inside giant seed pods, with which they have a symbiotic relationship. The book says the name Podling, however, is a shortened version of their name in their native language, which is “Apopiapoiopidiappididiapipob.” This obviously translates to “Master Gardeners Who Live in Bulging Plants.”

Kira provides the exposition, saying these are Podlings, and they adopted her and that they are her clan. This is the first mention of clans existing in this world, something the tie-in works have run with in a big way, establishing a variety of Gelfling clans. A bunch of Podlings pop up out of the bush and are happy to see Kira. They speak in their own language without subtitles. The translations are all on the website DarkCrystal.com. You can look it up if you want, but I’ll tell you right now they’re not saying anything all that interesting. Kira introduces Jen and they all walk off toward the village. There’s a quick shot of one of the Podlings petting Fizzgig. World of the Dark Crystal states that the Podlings were the ones who domesticated the Fizzgigs.

The music swells and, with that, we go right into the party. We’re indoors now, in a rustic, tavern-like setting, with Podlings everywhere. A Podling band rocks out with guitar and flute-like instruments. The camera pans across the room, where we see more Podlings sitting around tables, and others on alcoves looking down on them. Jen and Kira sit a table off to one side. To the right of the screen is a Podling clapping her hands in perfect time to the music, a nice little bit of puppetry. A Podling offers Jen a tray full of vegetables. He asks Kira how to say thank you. “Fala vam,” she says, and he repeats it to the Podling.

Jen has a plate in front of him with what looks like red and grey meatballs. I have no idea what this stuff is, but it’s the closest answer we’ve ever had as to what Gelflings eat. In this world, in which there are no boundaries between animal, vegetable, and mineral, and all things are alive, what to eat becomes a confusing conundrum. The graphic novel Creation Myths has a fleeting reference to Gelflings hunting and gathering, so maybe I’m just overthinking things.

The party continues on, with a lot of Muppet Show-style silliness. More and more Podlings offer Jen food. A wet Podling pokes his head out of a barrel, and of course the Podling drummer goes nuts pounding away on the drums. During his rockin’ drum solo, he even breaks the fourth wall, looking right at the camera and saying, “Yeah!” (I think he might be my favorite character.) Then there’s another pan across the room with all the Podlings dancing, including some impressive puppetry where we see their feet.

Look closely: In the background, there’s a Podling on his back, juggling a small barrel with his feet. This one’s obviously a dancer/stuntman and not a puppet.

Fun fact: Gates McFadden, better known as Dr. Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation was a choreographer on this film. (She really is the Dancing Doctor!) I’m assuming this scene is where such choreography was needed, but I’ve never been able to confirm that. In interviews, McFadden always says how proud she is of her choreography in the ballroom scene in Labyrinth, the musical numbers in The Muppets Take Manhattan, and in a lesser-known Henson-related film called Dream Child, but it seems she never talks about The Dark Crystal.

Jen goes over the exposition with Kira again. Remember, this stuff gets repeated throughout the movie because the early test audiences were confused. Jen says that when the three suns converge (“the Great Something-or-other” he calls it) something must be done with the shard, but that’s all Jen knows right now. An especially enthusiastic Podling interrupts and insists that Jen dance with her. This leads to a bit of slapstick as the Podling awkwardly swings Jen around on the dance floor.

More partying! The Podlings use their forks like drumsticks, pounding on a table in time with the music. More shots of the band, and of the drummer still wildly into it. Now loosened up, Jen gets into the spirit of things by playing along with his flute. Amid the band, there’s one Podling who’s just standing there not doing anything. I guess that’s their manager. Anyway, with all this partying, music, and levity, good vibes are in the air, and absolutely nothing bad could happen, right?

Next: Something very bad happens!

****

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I freakin’ love The Dark Crystal! Let’s watch it! Today we catch up with Jen and Kira, 42:21-44:23 on the Blu-ray.

First, there’s an establishing shot of some plants alongside the water. Look carefully and you can spot some critters mucking about in the tall grass. In the distance we can hear singing. Fade to a shot of Jen, Kira, and Fizzgig in a boat, heading down the river. Kira is singing, and piloting the boat as well. Just where did she get this boat, and what is it made of? There’s a fleeting reference in the tie-in material about Gelfling boats being made of “bone and crystal,” but I don’t think that applies here. Kira’s boat appears to be a gigantic leaf, really. Part of some ancient petrified plant, perhaps? Whatever song this is, it has no lyrics beyond, “Ahh, ahh, ahh.” (Amusingly, a fan at the DarkCrystal.com boards started a poll asking everyone to vote on whether Kira is either “a great Gelfling singer” or “the greatest Gelfling singer.”)

This raises an interesting question. For all the talk about music in this world, is there any mention of songs with lyrics? There’s a huge Gelfling concert orchestra playing in one of Legends of the Dark Crystal’s most powerful scenes, but no singing there. The mysterious narrator of Creation Myths (whose identity has still yet to be revealed, by the way) quotes an old Gelfling “rhyme” but that does not necessarily mean song lyrics. Even if songs with lyrics do exist on this world, clearly it is the pure sound of notes which gives music its importance in The Dark Crystal.

We can see the sky in the background and the wind in the characters’ hair, which reveals that this scene was filmed outdoors, bringing to mind the great opening of The Muppet Movie with Kermit on the log. Jen picks up his flute (not a euphemism) and plays along with Kira’s singing. Animals on the bank watch them from a distance. The website states that location filming for the movie took place in Yorkshire, England. Could that be this scene?

This little song of theirs goes on for a while. Why is this in the movie? For one, remember that music is an important part of this world. As noted in an earlier post, the Creation Myths graphic novel tells us that this world was created not with light or with “the word” but with a song. We’ve seen the crystal shard be effected by harmonics, and we’ve seen the Mystics chant in action. Even in these dire times, music is still an important part of these characters’ lives. Also, it’s a great bonding moment for Jen and Kira. The dream-fasting thing kind of precludes small talk, so here is a way for them to get to know each other and make a connection, in a way that is purely cinematic.

The good times can’t last, though. Fizzgig, watchful “dog” that he is, senses something coming and growls. We see a Crystal Bat in the sky, looking somewhat tattered around the wings. Kira knows exactly what this means and she tells Jen to “get down.” (Get down where? There’s on a boat. Maybe she just means for him not to show his face.) Kira pulls out a bolo-style weapon, twirls it, and flings the projectile, handily knocking the bat out of the sky. (Amusingly, the screenplay calls this weapon a “weighted thong.”) Where/how did Kira learn to use this thing? As we’ll soon learn, Garthim raiding parties are a fairly common occurrence among Kira’s people. Also, if we’re to believe Kira is of the Gelfling Vapra clan (info on all the clans can be found at DarkCrystal.com, I won’t repeat them all here), the Vapra were supposedly experts in camouflage. This stands to reason that they had something to hide from, so Kira’s people, whether that be Gelflings or Podlings, have trained themselves for protection when exploring the woods.

The bat splashed down into the water. Kira tells Jen that what the bats see, the Skeksis see, too. She further says she doesn’t think the bat saw them. They continue down the river, but we can see the bat poke its head out of the water, watching them. We get a close-up shot of it, with Jen and Kira reflected in its big crystal eye. It also has a couple of bone-like structures on the sides of his head that look a lot like antlers.

The next shot is of the Mystics, making their long journey. This is, again, a device to show the passage of time. The sky behind them is darker now, giving us the feeling that it’s later in the day, and their creeping progression from one side of the screen to the other gives us a sense of moving forward. How much time passes for them appears to be longer than the amount of time passing for Jen and Kira, however, which has me wondering if the Mystics’ rarely-mentioned magic is at work here. Either way, when we rejoin Jen and Kira in the next scene, there’s no question time has passed.

Next: Party down with the Podlings!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

I freakin’ love The Dark Crystal! Let’s watch it. Today it’s one of the most disgusting – and therefore one of the most beloved – scenes in the movie, 38:01-42:20 on the Blu-ray.

You’ll recall that we left off on an absolutely adorable shot of a Nebrie and its two babies, in a moment of extreme cuteness. But in this movie, which has given so many children so many nightmares over the years, such cuteness cannot stand, so we fade from the cute Nebries to a dead one, on a plate, about to be served as dinner to Skeksis. We’re in the castle, and the dead-eyed Podling slaves are carrying dead Nebrie to the dinner table. The plate also contains what looks like potatoes and some small hard shells, no doubt a lobster-like delicacy. The Skeksis hit the point home by saying, “Roast Nebrie, my favorite,” and, “I want the rare piece.” I guess “rare” in this case means something unique, that each Nebrie has only one of. I’ll leave it to your imaginations as to what that might be.

Yes, this is the famous dinner scene. The camera pulls back, and we see all the Skeksis sitting at their table, in oversized chairs, chowing down. This goes on for a while, with no dialogue, just shots of them all eating, with wonderfully gross sound effects of them chewing, slurping, and even belching. Two of them fight over a piece of meat. Another has a long metal spike attached to his fingertip, as a sort of eating utensil. The General dips a piece of meat in some sauce. The Gourmand (that’s right, the fat one is the Gourmand) plunges his whole face into a bowl and emerges with meat tendrils dangling from his mouth. Another rips meat off a bone with his beak.

Another Skeksis, the Ornamentalist, goes against type, daintily gnawing on a bone rather than chomping down on it, and then delighting with pleasure at its taste. On the Blu-ray’s bonus features, Jim Henson discusses portraying the Ornamentalist during this scene. This is where he states that despite the male pronouns, the Skeksis are in fact sexless, and that he sees a lot of feminine qualities in them, the Ornamentalist in particular. If you rewatch The Dark Crystal with the approach that the Skeksis are a bunch of dithering old ladies, suddenly it’s a whole different movie.

The General is not so pleased with the meal, declaring a chunk of meat to be “rotten” and tossing it over his shoulder. There’s a shot of a couple of rodent-like critters on the floor the Skeksis toss meat to. They look a lot like Philo and Gunge, the Trash Heap’s sidekicks from Fraggle Rock. Then… more eating. More meat hanging from the Skeksis’ mouths as they eat. Finally, the Skeksis Ritual-Master breaks the silence, reminding the others that the Gelfling, Jen, escaped. The General, speaking with his mouth full, argues that no Gelfling has ever escaped the Garthim. This is not true at all, as we saw Gelflings fight, defeat, and escape from Garthim in the manga Legends of the Dark Crystal. The General is clearly exaggerating in this scene, to maintain intimidation over the other Skeksis.

With that dialogue exchange done, we get even more eating. Showing increasingly deplorable table manners, the Skeksis pick their teeth, and one sticks his beak into a bowl of liquid. (Water? Soup? We don’t know.) He then shakes his head kind of like how a wet dog shakes itself, and he takes a napkin from a Podling slave and wipes his face. OK, so maybe there are some table manners. Another Skeksis demands, “More food!” A Podling arrives with a bowl full of small mouse-like critters. “Dessert! Crawlies!” a Skeksis says. One of the Crawlies, still alive, hops out of the bowl and skitters across the table. Several Skeksis try to grab or smash it as it runs past, but it avoids them. At the end of the table, the Gourmand catches it, and immediately stuffs the poor little thing into his mouth, saying, “Not bad at all.” Brian Froud has mentioned this scene in many interviews over the years, saying the Crawlies were cheap little wind-up toys he found at a local toy store. He likes to point this out, arguing that you don’t always need multi-million dollar special effects when simple innovation will do.

This has been just over two minutes of screentime devoted to nothing but the Skeksis eating. What are we to make of this? To start, it’s a contrast to the previous scene where Kira was all harmonious with nature, here we see Skeksis being all gross and carnivorous, eating the animals that Kira was so kind to. Second, all this helps establish the “reality” of this world, so we’re not thinking of these creatures as merely puppets. We see them biting into meat, tearing the meat of the bone with their jaws. We see them interacting with liquid, the water dripping from their mouths. It’s all about selling the Skeksis as living things, and further immersing viewers into this fantasy world. Also, note that the Skeksis are not sitting around a dinner table, but are seating in a single row, facing outward. This no doubt made filming easier, but it’s also a reminder as to their past. The tie-in fiction states that they once held grand balls inside the castle, and this dinner setup is clearly a remnant of those glory days. Look in the background of this scene and you can see junk all over the floor, more tattered curtains on the walls, and so on, all showing how far into disarray this world has become.

A few Garthim enter the room, and the Skeksis get all excited because they think the Garthim have captured Jen. The Garthim have a big sack with someone struggling inside it. The Skeksis demand, “Release the Gelfling!” Only, it’s not a Gelfling, it’s Aughra inside there. She struggles her way out of the bag as the Skeksis react with surprise. She calls the Skeksis fools, and tells them “Of course I’m no Gelfling you putrid lizards!” She then adds, “I’ll get my eye to you.” I’ll admit it: I have no idea what she means by that. Whatever it means, the Skeksis react with fear upon hearing this, as if it’s a threat. The Ritual-Master deduces that Aughra was with Jen and was helping him. He demands to know where Jen is. Aughra responds only with “Gone.”

Aughra approaches the Skeksis, taking a moment to punch one of the Garthim out of frustration. It doesn’t hurt the Garthim, but it makes Aughra look pretty badass, standing up to the big scary monster. She asks why the Skeksis didn’t just ask her to begin with, instead of sending their soldiers to attack her home. (Would she have helped them if they asked nicely? We’d like to think not, but it’s hard to say. Remember how scatterbrained she acted when she first met Jen.)

Aughra then loses it, going on an epic rant: “Moldy mildew mother of mouthmuck! Dangle and strangle to death!” The Ornamentalist doesn’t like this, saying “How crude!” The Ritual-Master calls Aughra a “harridan” and states that the Skeksis are the lords of the Crystal. (I looked it up. “Harridan” means a hag, shrew, or scolding woman.) Aughra takes a second to examine a piece of glassware on the Skeksis’ table, and then reminds them of the prophecy, that a Gelfling will end Skeksis’ power. Note that here it’s a definite that this will happen, when in other instances the prophecy only said it might happen. Aughra does her slapsticky sit-down-with-grunt thing again, and she says the Gelfling will come and “make you crawl like the worms you are.” Oohh, so she’s using the prophecy here not so much to be accurate, but to stick it to the Skeksis, no doubt in retaliation for them trashing her home.

For first-time viewers, this is mostly humorous stuff, in that the Skeksis captured her instead of Jen. Once you’ve read the tie-in fiction, though, this scene has a whole new dynamic. Aughra and the Skeksis know each other, and they’ve known each other for a very long time. Therefore, the Skeksis have every right to be afraid of her, because they know how important she is to this world, and she has every right to snap at them, because she’s seen all they’ve done and how far they’ve fallen. Instead of just a wacky mix-up, this scene is about years of tension between these characters finally coming to a head.

The General demands, “Find the Gelfling now!” The Ritual-Master orders the Crystal Bats to fly, commanding them to “Search the water, search the land, search the sky.” We see the Crystal Bats take off from the ceiling and fly off. As they do so, we can see the Garthim leading Aughra away. This shows that, despite her ripping into them, she’s still their prisoner. Then there’s the Wizard of Oz flying monkeys shot, with the Crystal Bats flying off into the sunset sky. The tie-in materials tell us that, like the Garthim, the Crystal Bats are artificial creatures created by the Skeksis. Each one is affixed with a crystal that somehow broadcasts images back to the Dark Crystal, in the castle. According to canon, the Skeksis grew hardier and hardier Crystal Bats over the years, to the point where they can command the Garthim through the Crystal Bats, so they no longer have a need to leave the castle. The canon features SkekMal the Hunter, and SkekLach the Collector, who both used to travel outside the castle, hunting Gelflings. They are both absent in the movie and their fates are currently unknown. Can we speculate that their demises led to a greater prominence for the Crystal Bats? All we know for sure is the Crystal Bats are looking for Jen. We’ll find out what he and Kira are up to next time.

Next: Rollin’ on the river.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.