Fantastic Friday: From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch continue on with issue #559. Also, David Letterman is here!

Recap: Dr. Doom has been kidnapped by a new team of supervillains calling themselves the New Defenders, one of whom is Johnny’s new girlfriend, a super-powered bank robber named Psionics. Also, their leader appears to be… the Hulk! Meanwhile, the Richard kids’ new nanny, Mrs. Deneuve, has deduced that little Valeria is actually a genius.

This issue begins in good spirits as Johnny’s new rock band is performing on The Late Show with David Letterman. Ben and his new girlfriend, schoolteacher Debbie Green, head to the Ed Sullivan Theater to check out the show. Johnny is running late for the show, speeding his expensive new car through NYC traffic, when he’s attacked by Lightwave, one of the New Defenders. They fight for a bit.

Elsewhere in New York, Sue is having dinner with Alyssa Moy, Reed’s ex-girlfriend. (Rather rude of Sue to skip Johnny’s Letterman appearance.) There’s a lot of tension between them, and Alyssa admits she’s in trouble. She and her husband, Ted Castle, are building Nu Earth, a recreation of Earth in a parallel universe where humanity will be evacuated in an upcoming natural disaster. However, Alyssa reveals that Ted lied, and that his plan is to save only the wealthy elite and leave the rest of humanity to die. Alyssa says Reed has severed his ties with her, and she doesn’t know who else to call.

Then we catch up Johnny, crawling from the wreckage of his expensive car. Psionics joins the fight, and he assumes this is because of their fight last issue. Psionics says that “Dr. Banner” insisted that Johnny die painlessly (!) but Lightwave, who you’ll remember is Psionics’ father, wants revenge for Johnny breaking his daughter’s heart. They fight inside a fast-food place, then in the sky over the city, and then in a parking garage.

The New Defenders’ sixth member, the mysterious “Hooded Man,” then attacks Johnny, grabbing him and throwing them both into an office building. We see a series of explosions from outside the building, and then the Hooded Man steps out with an unconscious Johnny. “Let’s get this clown back to base,” he says.

At the New Baxter Building, Reed is speaking on the phone (actually a hologram) with Hank Pym. He says he’s letting his subconscious work on the mystery of Doom’s kidnapping, while his main focus is investigating Alyssa and Ted’s prediction of an impending worldwide eco-disaster. He says he wants to assemble a task force. Then Mrs. Deneuve tells him something terrible has happened to Johnny.

At the New Defenders’ secret base, Johnny wakes to find himself and Dr. Doom both hooked up to a strange machine. Doom in uncommunicative, with the New Defenders bragging about how his pride has taken a huge blow. Johnny sees that the Hulk (or someone who appears to be the Hulk) is the group’s leader. This Hulk says his team needs a power source for a machine. Johnny looks down and sees that this machine is hooked up to Galactus’ chest (!). The Hulk says, “I think it’s time we had a little chat, Johnny.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says the predicted eco-disaster will destroy the Earth in thirty years. He feels that the data is sound, but that it cannot be because of all the geniuses at work on Earth.

Fade out: Sue says her new charity-fundraising super-team Miss America has raised $55 million to help New Yorkers whose homes were destroyed during the World War Hulk event.

Clobberin’ time: Ben has fun showing off with Debbie in front of paparazzi, but Debbie says she doesn’t want her picture taken. This is another hint that she has a big secret.

Flame on: Johnny says he’s running late because he was visiting sick children in the hospital, but everyone knows he was really partying with two supermodels, because they posted photos online. (Not on social media, but on “their websites.”) Johnny does show his humanitarian side during the fight, though, when he helps civilians get to safety.

Our gal Val: Valeria is shown with Reed and Mrs. Deneuve, not saying a word and keeping her secret.

Trivia time: I’m very confused. The publication dates show that Secret Invasion has happened by now, but the Marvel Wiki is insistent that this storyline is before Secret Invasion, and that Hank Pym in this issue is still a Skrull in disguise. Hank’s hologram has a slight green glow, which might be a Skrull Easter egg. I guess I’ll get to Secret Invasion whenever the series gets to it.

David Letterman did a lot of top ten lists about comic book superheroes over the years, but I couldn’t find one specific to Fantastic Four. On the whole, it seems he and his writers favored DC over Marvel, referencing Batman and Superman most often. But, to be fair, Letterman did team up with the Avengers in Avengers #239, part of the infamous Assistant Editors’ Month event. (Conan O’Brien is a known Marvel fan, often praising Dave Cockrum’s art on Uncanny X-Men. When Jay Leno had Kevin Smith as a guest, Leno admitted he didn’t read comics.)

There’s a brown-haired man and blonde woman in Ben’s Fantasticar at the start of the issue, but we later learn that Reed and Sue are elsewhere in NYC at this time. Closer inspection reveals that this man and woman with Ben are Debbie Green’s coworkers, whom we met in issue #554.

Fantastic or frightful? A lot of action, and a lot of moving subplots forward, but not a lot of answers. This issue is big and cinematic, but it has middle-of-the-trade-collection energy.

Next: Hard Rain 2: Rain Harder.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Tim Burton rewatch – the music videos

Tim Burton rewatch! On the commentary track for Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Burton says he doesn’t think he could ever direct a music video. But he later directed three of them. “Here With Me” and “Bones” by the Killers, and “Blind Kings” by Chelsea Grin. I’m not a music expert, but let’s take a look and see what we can see.  

In “Here With Me,” a young man goes to some sort of underground theater/nightclub/circus, where he becomes enamored with a woman performing there (played by Winona Ryder). Sometimes she’s in human form, but she’s often portrayed as a mannequin. It’s in this form that we see the young man dating and romancing her. It ends on an odd note with the man and the woman transforming into candles, complete with lit wicks on their heads.

Because so many Burton characters are outsiders, unrequited love is a recurring theme in his work. And in fantasy, unrequited love can mean falling in love with a supernatural being of some kind. All this business with the mannequin, however, suggests that fantasy in this case exists in this young man’s mind. What’s with the ending, then? Fantasy and reality meet halfway, making a happy ending of sorts. At least that’s my guess.

Next is “Bones.” A young couple (one of whom is played by Devon Aoki) enjoys a night at the drive-in, watching clips from classic films on the big screen while the Killers play in front of it. The couple then become part of the movies they watch. Throughout all this, both the couple and the band members periodically peel off their own skin to reveal their skeletons underneath. The song’s lyrics, about wanting to touch each other so deeply you can feel bone, is aggressively, uncomfortably sexual. But I wonder if it’s also romantic, about truly understanding our partners on a deep emotional level.

Then there’s Burton’s direction. My whole thesis about his work isn’t about the fantasy worlds he creates, but it’s about the real world always trying to break through the fantasy. In “Bones,” we have a young couple who escape the real world and become part of the movies they watch. But escapism can only go so far before they reveal their skeletons – their true selves – to one another.

That brings us to “Blind Kings.” Are we certain this was directed by Burton? All signs point to yes, but this is the least Burton-y thing I’ve seen on this rewatch so far. I know director David Lynch directs a lot of non-Lynchian TV commercials for extra income and to keep up with the newest filmmaking tech. Maybe that’s the case for Burton here. Or maybe he just wanted to make a Western. Because oh boy is this a Western.

The premise here is simple. The guys in the band are cowboys, doing all the cowboy things. Horseback riding, gunfights, saloon brawls, you name it. These rockers are clearly having fun living out their cowboy fantasies, another case of the bizarre thing where rockers want to go country while country musicians want to play rock. I don’t know that images such as cowboys riding across the prairie at sunset match the song’s fast pace and growling-yelling-screeching vocals, but it’s amusing enough to keep non-fans interested.

Next: His skin was pale, and his eye was odd.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Fantastic Friday: Pretty little liar

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #558 gives us new villains and a surprise continuity-changing twist for one of our main characters.

Recap: After their adventure involving an alternate Earth and would-be utopia called Nu Earth, the FF settled down for a bit back home. But it didn’t last long because a beaten and battle-weary Dr. Doom teleported into the new Baxter Building demanding to speak to Reed. Also, this issue’s cover proclaims, “Starting this issue: the death of the Invisible Woman,” so we’ve got that going on.

Ben has his new girlfriend Debbie Green and potential new nanny Tabitha Deneuve take Franklin and Valeria out of the room. Doom says he’s not there to attack, and he again demands to speak to Reed. Then three superhumans teleport into the room. Because this is a re-read and not a first-time read, I’ll go ahead and spoil it. The big metal guy is Alex Ultron, the glowing guy is Lightwave, and the girl in the green outfit is Natalie X. Ben fights these intruders, with them knocking him around with brute strength and a force field. Then Lightwave blasts Ben outside the building and through several neighboring high-rises. Natalie subdues Dr. Doom by giving him nightmares (!) and then they teleport out of there.

One hour later, Ben fills Reed in on what happened, amid the wreckage of the fight. Sue thanks Mrs. Deneuve for her help, and she offers her the job nanny on the spot. An Avengers Quinjet flies right into the room from outside (!), with She-Hulk and the Wasp, offering help. Debbie Green leaves, shaken by her experience, but promising to stay in touch with Ben. Outside, she has a clandestine meeting with a strange man, who asks her how long she was going to spend with “that freak.”

Later, Reed visits super-prison the Raft, where he reviews some security footage showing these three new villains breaking Doom out of his cell. (Doom was locked up following a lengthy story arc in Mighty Avengers.) A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent says Doom then broke free from the villains and escaped in hopes of contacting Reed. The villains call themselves the New Defenders. S.H.I.E.L.D. has Reed meet with former agent turned rogue Mentallo, who saw all this in a psychic vision. He mentions a “hooded man” and says an old friend is a leader of this group.

Then we catch up with Johnny and his new rock band in rehearsal. He says he doesn’t care about Doom’s kidnapping, considering how big of a problem Doom has been for the FF over the years. Johnny’s new girlfriend, the super-criminal known as Psionics, shows him a newspaper article about a string of armed robberies, and he figures out she’s the culprit. In private, Johnny tells her he can’t keep turning a blind eye to her life of crime. She chides him on never asking why she needs all the cash she’s stolen, and then she flies off in anger.

While Sue works late, Mrs. Deneuve sits with Valeria, who is sleeping. She says the baby monitor has been switched off, and they can now talk freely. Valeria opens her eyes and says, “How did you know?” Yes, Fantastic Four fans, this is the first appearance of lil’ genius Valeria!

Mrs. Deneuve says she can tell Valeria’s intelligence made a quantum leap forward about three months earlier, and she’ll soon be just as intelligent as her father. Deneuve encourages Valeria to tell her parents, and that they will be supportive. Valeria disagrees, saying Sue will feel alienated and it will drive an emotional wedge between Reed and Franklin. Deneuve asks Valeria, “You know who I am, don’t you?” and she asks Valeria to trust her.

Then we cut to the New Defenders’ secret headquarters, which is drawn as a lake. Are they underwater? Can’t worry about that, because Psionics is there, as one of the team! And… Lightwave is her father! She says she’s okay with Johnny dumping her, because if he couldn’t handle her being a bank robber, then he really wouldn’t have handled where the money is going. She assures the rest of the New Defenders that their mission hasn’t been compromised. We see that Dr. Doom is still with them, and he’s still comatose. Also, a hooded man is seen among them, as one of the team.

Turn the page, and we see the New Defenders’ leader emerge from the shadows. It appears to be… the Hulk?!? He says, “Everything’s going to plan.”

To be continued!   

Unstable molecule: Reed throws his weight around among the S.H.I.E.L.D. guys, as they let him look on their security cam footage.

Fade out: Sue is shown continuing her work on Miss America, her new all-female charity-raising super-team. She talks about how they’re relocating New Yorkers who lost their homes during the Hulk’s attack in World War Hulk.

Clobberin’ time: Not only has no one heard of the New Defenders, but they’ve never heard of Ben, guessing that his codename is either “Rock-Man” or “Brick-Man.”

Flame on: Johnny’s band is supposed to be rehearsing, but we only see them sitting around a recording studio doing nothing, with their instruments leaned against a wall.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk shows up at the Baxter Building not to stop Dr. Doom’s kidnapping, but because she and the Wasp are there for a Miss America meeting. I find it funny that they fly the Quinjet in through the hole in the wall, and not land on the roof like usual.

Four and a half: During the fight, Franklin takes Mrs. Deneuve to the Baxter Building’s panic room. He says that Reed makes the kids do “supervillain drills” every Sunday morning. Is that upsetting? That seems like it could be upsetting.

Our gal Val: Valeria has been with us for a while now as a baby and then as a toddler (not to mention as Marvel Girl during Chris Claremont’s run), but this is her first real appearance. Valeria the child genius is going to go to create all kinds of complications throughout the Marvel Universe, and it all starts here. A lot of fans don’t like her, but I think what they’ve done with Valeria is pretty cool. In the 2000s, Marvel had a tough time creating new characters who manage to stick around. Miles Morales, Spider-Gwen, and Kamala Khan’s Ms. Marvel are the big three, but I personally would add genius Valeria to that list.

Trivia time: Who’s this Mentallo guy? First appearing way back in Strange Tales in 1966, he’s a mutant and low-level telepath and precog. Originally a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, he went rogue and worked for Hydra for a while. Since then, he’s bounced around among various supervillain teams and menaced multiple Marvel heroes. His continuity is so all over the place, that I’m unclear as to what landed him in S.H.I.E.L.D. custody in this issue.

Fantastic or frightful? The Valeria reveal is exciting, as is tying together the subplots that have been brewing for a while. Also, artist Bryan Hitch does his signature “widescreen comics” style to the fight scenes, making them big and propulsive. Despite all the mean things I’ve said about writer Mark Millar, I’m enjoying his take on Fantastic Four so far.

Next: Stay up late.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Tim Burton rewatch – Corpse Bride 2005

Tim Burton rewatch! It’s a return to macabre animation with 2005’s Corpse Bride. Does it go according to plan?

Here’s what happens: Shy, awkward Victor is engaged to the equally shy Victoria. It’s an arranged marriage that will save both their families’ fortunes. When nervous Victor runs into the woods to practice his vows, he unknowingly says them to a corpse, who comes to life. Her name is Emily and she’s his… corpse bride! Things spiral out of control at this point, with visits to the afterlife and a murderous plot in the works.

Origin story: The movie is allegedly based on a 17th century Jewish folk tale commonly called “The Finger.” An arrogant man mockingly places an engagement ring onto a woman’s corpse. She revives from the dead and demands that the marriage go through. It’s a cautionary tale about taking promises seriously once you make them. In Burton’s film, the supernatural marriage results from a misunderstanding, rather than an act of arrogance.

Outsider theory: Victor can’t win, as he’s an outsider in his own world, and among the world of the dead. But Victor is not an innocent like Edward Scissorhands. He lies and manipulates Emily so that she’ll take him back to the land of the living. He is his parents’ son, it seems.

Best bits: “Die, die, we all pass away.

Don’t wear a frown, ‘cause it’s really okay.

You might try and hide, you might and pray,

But we all end up the remains of the day.”

Thoughts on this viewing: The movie has a lot of fun gags, great music, and beautiful visuals, but there’s just no right way to end it. You’d think Victor and Emily have a spark between them, and audiences are prone to root for couples from two different worlds. But the plot insists Victor and Victoria must get together, which requires another ending for Emily. There’s really no way to reconcile this love triangle that works for everyone.

Next: Rock n’ rolla!

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Fantastic Friday: Mecha Reed-zilla

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #557 answers the question, how do you fight a giant robot? With another giant robot!

Recap: Reed was contacted by his old girlfriend Alyssa Moy and her new husband, mega-millionaire Ted Castle, about their new project. It’s Nu Earth, an exact replica of Earth on the other side of a portal. Alyssa says an unpreventable environmental crisis is on the way, and humanity must be evacuated to Nu Earth. They also have plans for Nu Earth to be a utopia without armies or weapons. To manage this, they have a robot enforcer named Cap, who is programmed to end soldiers and war. Then Cap escaped its lab and waged war on all the Earth’s armies. Three of the FF and a whole bunch of Avengers could not stop him, but then Reed returned from a deep space mission with a promise to save the day.

This issue begins with Sue rescuing Ben from the icy waters where he was trapped, and then Alyssa and all the heroes trying to come up with a plan. We see the Pentagon and the White House being evacuated as the world fears Cap will track down and destroy any powerful military installations. We’re told Cap’s path of destruction has already leveled military bases all over Asia and India. Cut to Central Park in NYC, where we see Reed’s plan – he’s built a giant mech!

Reed calls this his Anti-Galactus suit, and he argues that if Cap is hunting the biggest weapons on Earth, then he’ll come straight for this one. Cap appears at that moment, ready to fight Reed. All the other heroes come through a portal, ready for a fight, but Reed orders them to back off. Reed knows the Cap wants to destroy the Anti-Galactus, but he also deduces that Cap is programmed not to harm Reed. He’s right, as Cap stops saying “Command: Do not hurt.” Reed says he’s under no such restraints. He fights back, with a punch that sends energy waves across all of New York.

Cap collapses, Reed shuts down the power to the Anti-Galactus, and everyone celebrates. Sue asks how Reed knew Cap was programmed not to harm him. Reed looks over at Alyssa and says, “An educated guess.”

At the White House, the president and his staff are dealing with the fallout of Cap destroying military bases all over the world. The president says that the “top-secret plan” is over, but his advisor tells him that foreign nations are willing to “keep a lid on the entire situation.” She then says that Nu-World is “our last hope” and that this incident cannot hold them back.

In New York, Reed and Alyssa are assisting with cleaning up the wreckage. She says she still wants him to work with her and Ted on creating Nu-Earth. He says he doesn’t like all the secrecy, and he’d rather work on saving Earth from the oncoming eco-disaster. Alyssa then gets personal, saying, “We married the wrong people.” She says Ted has the intellect but no passion, and she criticizes Sue for always complaining about Reed spending too much time in the lab. Reed says he loves Sue, and that’s not something Alyssa can work out with a calendar. Reed kisses Alyssa on the cheek, adding that’s a kiss goodbye.

Turn the page, and Reed and Sue are at a fancy restaurant for their anniversary. Sue says she could tell right away that Alyssa had an ulterior motive. Reed assures her she has nothing to worry about. He then gives her a gift, an “eternity ring” that he made himself. The ring’s jewel contains a micro-galaxy with seventy-four worlds inhabited with forty trillion life forms. She says it’s beautiful. Her gift to him a Bob Dylan CD (!).

Then one more surprise. This restaurant is located years in the past, with Reed and Sue having time-traveled there. They watch out the window to see young Reed and young Sue bump into each other on the sidewalk, which Reed says is the first time they laid eyes on each other as adults.

Elsewhere, Johnny returns to his new apartment to find his new girlfriend Psionics in his bed. She’s nude and covered with dollar bills (Wah-hey!). She’s just robbed a bank, but Johnny kisses her rather than call the cops.

At the new Baxter Building, Ben and his new girlfriend, Debbie Green, meet with a woman named Tabitha Deneuve, who is there to interview to be kids’ new nanny. Then alarms go off, and Ben believes the building is under attack. A door tears open, and a battle-damaged Dr. Doom is on the other side. He says, “Find Reed Richards! Now!”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: This is the first I can recall of Reed’s Bob Dylan fandom. Any Dylan experts out there who want to tell me which song might be Reed’s favorite?

Fade out: Sue’s micro-galaxy ring is certainly foreshadowing, right? It’s setting up some future story where it’ll be used in a far-out sci-fi way, right? Nope, this issue is the only time it’s ever been seen.

Clobberin’ time: Ben asks a good question in why Cap doesn’t come with any sort of emergency off button. This goes unanswered.

Flame on: Issue #554 stated that Johnny’s new apartment was in New York’s famous Flatiron Building. But in this issue, the building exterior is definitely not that. There are some cardboard boxes in the background during that scene, so maybe he’s already moved again.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Black Panther, Storm, and Luke Cage are shown among the heroes fighting Cap.

Four and a half/our gal Val: This Ms. Deneuve lady missed her job interview because the FF were busy with the crisis. But she did meet Franklin and Valeria, who, we’re told, enjoyed her company. Unlike Sue’s galaxy ring, Ms. Deneuve is setting up a future storyline.

Trivia time: This is the only appearance of the Anti-Galactus mech. This issue references to how expensive and power-consuming it is, so that’s probably why.

Again we see that Reed has this huge staff working for him. This time they’re all flying around on hoverboards to put the final touches on the Anti-Galactus. Reed’s second-in-command is a woman named Rosie. The Marvel Wiki insists that this is the same Rosie who hosted the celebrity date auction in vol. 3 issue #50. We’ll never learn what that’s about, because this is her last appearance.

Fantastic or frightful? Despite wrecking half the Earth and defeating three Avengers teams at once, the menace of Cap ends up being anticlimactic. In the end, it wasn’t about Cap running amok, but about the Alyssa-Reed-Sue love triangle, which is handled nicely in this issue.

Next: Pretty little liar.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Fantastic Friday: Fun with Storm

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Except this is the holiday weekend, and Storm is an official FF member now, so here’s Storm:

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Tim Burton rewatch – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005

Tim Burton rewatch! A new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in 2005 must have been a daunting task considering how beloved the 1971 film was, with its outstanding Gene Wilder performance. But it was a chance for Burton to put his own spin on another classic. (And I swear I didn’t plan for this post to come out while the new Wonka movie is in theaters.)

Here’s what happens: Reclusive and mysterious chocolatier Willy Wonka holds a sweepstakes. Whoever finds one of five golden tickets in his Wonka Bars gets a tour of his magical chocolate factory. After several tries, dirt-poor Charlie Bucket miraculously gets hold of a ticket. He and four troublesome kids embark on the tour, led to Wonka himself. They behold chocolaty wonders unimaginable, but what is Wonka not telling them?

Origin story: There are a lot of stories out there about author Roald Dahl and the creation of 1964 novel. Some say it’s about him a child getting free chocolate samples at school from a nearby chocolate factory. Others say it’s based on stories about famous candy company Cadbury’s paranoia about competitors stealing its recipes. Whatever the inspiration, the book was a sensation and one of Dahl’s most popular, widely considered a classic today.

Outsider theory: It’s hard to get a read on Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Willy Wonka. I think the idea is that Willy is unsure of how to behave around others, so he’s putting ono a show of what he thinks people are like, but he’s not getting it quite right. But then there are times when it seems like something more, how this was his plan all along.

Many people have disliked the introduction of Wonka’s backstory in this, but it is what ties everything together in this version. Willy punishes the bad kids, but it’s the parents that he truly despises. He can’t bring himself to say the word “parents” throughout. In the end, it’s not about Charlie and the factory, but about Willy finally finding a family of his own.

Reality breaks through: While the whole movie takes place in a whimsical fantasy world, both in and out of the factory, the character Mike Teevee represents the real world. He’s very modern and contemporary, and he’s the one who nitpicks the fantasy trappings throughout. Willy Wonka dismisses him as “mumbling,” and I wonder if this is how Burton dismisses critics in real life.

Best bits: From the Veruca Salt song: “Veruca Salt, the little brute,

Has just gone down the garbage chute,

And she will meet as she descends,

A rather different set of friends.

A fish head for example cut,

This morning from a halibut,

An oyster from an oyster stew,

A steak no one else would chew.

Lots of other things as well,

Each with its rather horrid smell.”

Thoughts on this viewing: There’s a lot to like here, but a lot that doesn’t work for me. The kids and their parents are all fun characters, and well played. Actor Deep Roy does a bravura job of playing all the Oompa-Loompas, which must have quite a technical headache. But Depp’s weirdness doesn’t match Dahl’s weirdness, and the visuals are more ugly than magical. I like this movie, but it’s not a fave.

Next: We’re going to the chapel…

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Fantastic Friday: Caps lock

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Writer Mark Millar continues his run with issue #556, with robot battles in the snow. Because why not?

Recap: Reed was contacted by his old girlfriend Alyssa Moy and her new husband, mega-millionaire Ted Castle, about their new project. It’s Nu Earth, an exact replica of Earth on the other side of a portal. Alyssa says an unpreventable environmental crisis is on the way, and humanity must be evacuated to Nu Earth. They also have plans for Nu Earth to be a utopia without armies or weapons. To manage this, they have a robot enforcer named Cap, who is programmed to end soldiers and war. Then Cap escaped its lab and fled to Alaska, chasing down some actual soldiers.

We begin in Alaska, where Cap, who appears to be a giant robot with Captain America-themed colors. Cap quickly lays waste to the soldiers and then marches on to the nearest Air Force base. Cap destroys the base, killing its population of 50o people. At Earth-Trust, Alyssa and Ted’s secret lab, Alyssa says Cap was programmed to seek out and destroy the largest weapons, and that he’ll go after nukes next. Alyssa admits it will take superhuman effort to stop Cap, so she calls S.H.I.E.L.D. for help.

Cut to Johnny’s new apartment, where a TV crew arrives to set up cameras all over. Johnny starting his own band is also part of a new reality show about his life. Johnny’s manager Miguel is upset that Johnny has been out of touch, but Johnny explains he wasn’t around because of stopping the diamond heist last issue. Then we see that the sexy blue-haired superhuman burglar from last issue spent the night with Johnny. She’s going by name Psionics. As she sneaks out, she won’t tell Johnny her real name, saying secret identities exist for a reason.

At the new Baxter Building, Sue meets with Reed’s staff (who are these guys?) who tell her Reed is exploring a micro-galaxy on the edge of the universe, and he won’t be back for ninety minutes. Then Alyssa backflips through a portal and tells Sue that Cap is on a rampage and army bases are being evacuated all over. Cut to Alaska where Sue, Ben, and Johnny join Alyssa on the scene. Ted radios in to tell them that forty of the world’s biggest superheroes are already there.

Turn the page and we see a bunch of Marvel’s biggest names sprawled on the snow, defeated and possibly dead. Spider-Man, Storm, and Wolverine among them. “This can’t be good,” Ben says.

Then Cap appears and attacks. It’s several pages of fighting as Cap doesn’t slow down despite anything the FF throw at him. Cap punches out Ben, is resistant to Johnny’s fire, and he punches through several levels of Sue’s force fields. Alyssa tries to reason with Cap, revealing that his programming will not allow him to harm her. Then all the other heroes regain consciousness (so they’re not dead after all) and join the fight. Ben gets knocked into a frozen lake and sinks under the ice.

At the Earth-Trust lab, Ted freaks out, worrying that Cap’s personal teleporters are now online. He’s teleporting around the world attacking military bases in multiple countries. Just as Ted considers calling the U.N., a voice comes over his radio saying, “Sit tight, gentlemen.”

Turn the page, and Reed is riding his sky cycle out of a portal, saying, “I’m on my way.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: In the previous issue, it was suggested that Reed traveled across the universe to investigate Alyssa’s warnings about an impending environmental disaster. But this issue suggests he’s simply away on unrelated business. We’ll have to see.

Fade out: There’s still tension between Sue and Alyssa. When Alyssa makes a sarcastic comment during the fight, Sue flat-out tells her to shut up.

Clobberin’ time: Wolverine wakes up after Cap knocks Ben against him, before Ben goes sinking into the lake. I guess this means Wolvie is the one who then revived all the other heroes.

Flame on: After all that talk about how the camera crew is supposed to follow Johnny anywhere, they don’t follow him to Alaska. I guess that happens when you travel by portal.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Storm and Black Panther are both seen knocked out by Cap, although you have to look real closely to see that it’s Black Panther.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: Franklin is stuck with babysitting duties, bemoaning how Valeria only wants to watch the Bratz movie over and over. If you’ve never seen Bratz, know that it’s quite an experience.

Trivia time: The heroes on the scene are conveniently grouped into their teams, the New Avengers, the Mighty Avengers, the Young Avengers, and Yellowjacket’s Initiative team (the Marvel Wiki insists that Yellowjacket was still secretly a Skrull at this point, placing this before Secret Invasion). Black Panther and Storm aren’t on a team by this point.

The female superhero with the Giant Man-style powers is Stature. This is Cassie Lang, who lived with the Fantastic Four for a while during the Tom DeFalco era (era), along with her dad, the Scott Lang Ant-Man. Let’s not bother with how she’s in her late teens now while Franklin is only a little bit older.

Fantastic or frightful? It’s an all-action issue, but it takes place in the dark during a snowstorm, making the big battle look all dark blue and blurry. But it does move the story forward and increase the stakes. It works better as one chapter in the trade rather than a standalone issue, but that’s what comics have turned into at this point.

Next: Mecha-Reedzilla.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Tim Burton rewatch – Big Fish 2003

Tim Burton rewatch! At the time, some people considered 2003’s Big Fish to be a potential Oscar contender, and a move toward more serious films for Burton. But it was back to remakes after this, making Big Fish an outlier among Burton’s work. How does it hold up today?

Here’s what happens: William Bloom got so fed up with his father Edward’s tall tales that the two became estranged for many years. When William gets a call from doctors saying his dad isn’t going to make it, William retells his father’s life through those same outrageous tales. Can fiction and truth be reconciled? Can father and son be reconciled?

Origin story: Daniel Wallace’s debut novel Big Fish: A Novel of Mythic Proportions (1998) had so much hype around it that it was optioned to be a film before it was published. Steven Spielberg allegedly had first dibs on the adaptation, but he handed it off to Burton and made Catch Me If You Can instead.

Outsider theory: In the fantasy story-within-the-story, Ed’s motivation comes from his wanting to escape his tiny hometown and see the world. He views himself as an outsider by being the titular big fish in his town’s small pond. This continues throughout, as he insists on being a larger personality than anyone else in any situation.

Reality breaks through: The movie’s position is that of the real world, frowning on Ed’s fantasy stories. But this is a reverse “reality breaks through” where Wiliam must indulge in the fantasy to connect with his father in the end.

Best bits: Ed: “Most men, they’ll tell you a story straight through. It won’t be complicated, but it won’t be interesting either.”

Thoughts on this viewing: The father-son drama of Big Fish is famously a tearjerker for manly men. I for one rather enjoy the quirky fantasy stories, and the positive, upbeat energy Burton and actor Ewan McGregor bring to them. It was good for Burton to try something a little more grown up, but he’ll be back to kid stuff soon.

Next: Choco-taco.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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Fantastic Friday: In with the Nu

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In issue #555, writer Mark Millar continues his run on the series with otherworldly action and new characters.

Recap: Reed was reunited with his old college girlfriend, science whiz Alyssa Moy, and her new husband, mega-billionaire Ted Castle. They’re secretly constructing a planet on the other side of a portal. It’s called Nu Earth, Alyssa tells Reed, “This is where we’re going when the Earth dies.”

This issue begins with a flashback to Reed and Alyssa in college. At a sidewalk café, she wants them to have their first kiss, openly stating that it will eventually lead to them breeding genius children. She says they should do this right away because, “Tomorrow might be a very different story.”

In the present, Alyssa and Ted give Reed a tour of Nu Earth, confirming that it’s an exact life-size model of the Earth, everything from undersea mountains to the Statue of Liberty. Ted says his organization, the Earth-Trust, funded this because a great environmental threat is eminent. Alyssa says the threat is increasing, and Earth will be uninhabitable in less than ten years. Reed argues in favor of trying to save the Earth, but Alyssa says it’s too late. Earth is doomed, and there must be an exodus to Nu Earth.

Back in the lab, Ted reveals that Nu Earth isn’t as exact a replica as he said. He says depleted rainforests will be restored, and weapons will not be welcome on Nu Earth. This will be policed by “Cap,” short for “Conserve and protect,” who will be Nu Earth’s enforcer, ensuring that the planet has no guns, nukes, or armies. Police and soldiers will be repurposed in “a social support capacity,” Alyssa says.

It goes on from there. There are “Nightingales,” which can rearrange a person’s atomic structure to instantly cure any injury or disease, and a “World Bank,” a computer that can manage the global economy to ensure finances will be distributed evenly throughout the planet. Then they ask Reed to join them at the Earth-Trust, saying it’s better for him to be a genius scientist than a costumed superhero.

Back at the new Baxter Building, Ben wants to brag about the teacher he’s now dating (they met last issue) but Reed is preoccupied with Alyssa’s warnings about Earth’s impending extinction and what he can do about it. Reed wants to travel through a wormhole to other side of the universe to investigate, but Ben stops him. Ben says Alyssa is messing with Reed, showing up after he and Sue have recently had marital issues (during the Civil War crossover), and Sue recently starting her own charity-focused super-team. Reed says he and Sue have resolved their issues, btu Ben doesn’t buy it.

Elsewhere in NYC, Johnny is flying across town to meet with his new bandmates in the rock band he’s starting. He comes across a robbery in progress, started by a mysterious blue-haired woman. She telekinetically throws a bunch of cars at him, and then almost mind-controls some cops to shoot themselves. Johnny recovers and flies away with the woman before they can do so.

They fight inside a parking garage, totally trashing the place. The woman insists she wasn’t hurting anyone, and she wonders why superheroes like Johnny can’t just mind their own business. They both fall back, winded. Then the woman climbs on top of Johnny, saying he’s even more handsome in person than on TV. They start making out.

At the Earth-Trust lab, Ted confronts Alyssa about her and Reed, asking if she still loves him. She says she isn’t, and that a marriage between her and Reed wouldn’t have worked because they are too similar. Ted suspects that Alyssa is jealous of Reed playing with her “little toy.”

Then alarms go off, and someone tells Ted that Cap has escaped. We don’t see Cap, but we see where he escaped from his confinement. A lab tech explains that Cap overheard Reed, Alyssa, and Ted talking about soldiers, so Cap was inspired to break free and go on the hunt for any soldiers he can find. Cut to Alaska, where some soldiers are out on patrol in the snow, and they come across a two-story tall robot painted in Captain America’s colors.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed prepares to travel through space in what looks like a new version of the FF’s sky cycle. I’ve given up trying to sort out which FF vehicle is which, and the Marvel Wiki, because it has no mention of this one. (Every artist on the series designs their own take on the vehicles, making dozens or perhaps hundreds of them by now.)

Fade out: Sue doesn’t appear in this issue, but there is mention of her new charity team.

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s schoolteacher girlfriend is Debbie Green. She’ll be around for a while. In this issue, he calls her “one hot tomato.”

Flame on: Johnny talks on his cell phone while flying, stating that his phone is made of unstable molecules, just like his FF uniform.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: Ben expresses concern that Reed and Sue aren’t spending enough time with the kids lately.

Trivia time: This story arc is the first appearance of Ted Castle, even though it insists he’s been an influential scientist/billionaire all along. If he’s related to Frank Castle (a.k.a. the Punisher), the Marvel Wiki isn’t saying.

Upcoming issues will dig deeper into this new mystery woman in Johnny’s life, but this is her first appearance, not someone we’ve seen before.

Fantastic or frightful? Ever since Civil War, there’s been all this talk about Reed’s big plan for creating a better Earth. It looks like Alyssa and Ted are doing much the same thing, yet Reed’s plan is never mentioned. Reed doesn’t argue about the morality of their plan, but instead gets to work on saving the Earth so their Nu Earth won’t be needed. Despite my hesitations about Mark Millar’s writing, I’m enjoying these issues so far, and their classic sci-fi “playing God with science” themes.

Next: Bust a Cap.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

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