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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The Dark Reign event was all about Norman Osborn throwing his weight around, and that’s what does for our heroes at the end of Dark Reign: Fantastic Four.

Recap: Feeling overwhelmed by all the violence and ugliness of Civil War, and now with Norman Osbourne running the Avengers, the Initiative, and a new version of S.H.I.E.L.D., Reed constructs the Bridge. This is a portal-type machine that allows him to see how these events played out in alternate universes, in the hopes that he can change the world for the better. Meanwhile, agents from H.A.M.M.E.R., Osborn’s new version of S.H.I.E.L.D., attacked the Fantastic Four to arrest them after Osborn declared them suspended from the Fifty States Initiative. When H.A.M.M.E.R. tried cutting power to the building, it made things go haywire, sending Sue, Ben and Johnny on an adventure in other universes.

Issue #3 is mostly set in compressed space-time, where Sue, Ben, and Johnny are bouncing around various other realities. We see other versions of them on a pirate ship battling pirate Skrulls on another ship. Then it becomes a Western, with Sue as a super-cool gunslinger. Things shift again, as the cowboy and pirate characters end up in an alternate World War II, Reed, meanwhile, continues to explore other universes where Civil War still happened, but differently. Valeria and Franklin are alone inside the Baxter Building, basically under siege with Osborn’s troops outside.

Issue #4 begins as Osborn shows up at the Baxter Building’s front entrance, demanding to see Reed, while Franklin and Valeria stall him over the intercom. Inside the Bridge, Reed breaks down. He says his mind has processed one billion alternate timelines (!), and he can find no circumstances in which Civil War and Osborn’s reign could have been avoided.

Osborn enters the Baxter Building with the Avengers’ “Spider-Man,” who isn’t Spider-Man at all, but secretly the Mac Gargan version of Venom. There’s some comedy bits where Valeria plays the part of Reed’s secretary. She says the papers they were served say that only one person may meet with Reed, not an entire squad of soldiers. Osborn plays along, and goes off with her alone. Valeria says her parents are away on superhero business, but someone else wants to talk to him. That someone else is Franklin in a Spider-Man mask.

Inside collapsed space-time, where Sue, Ben, and Johnny are lost, they’re not in the WWII from last issue, but on another planet where Reed is in place of the Kree’s Supreme Intelligence. He talks about how all societies will eventually fail, while attacked by Skrulls with Venom symbiotes. The cowboy, pirate, and WWII versions of our heroes join the fight.

Still alone in the bridge, Reed snaps out of his doldrums and says there’s always a solution. He muses on how one single moment is all someone needs to look at things in the right perspective with complete honesty. He says his successes in the other universes were when he acted alone, and not alongside Tony Stark or Hank Pym. He wonders if this is arrogance or the truth.

We get a couple of pages of the alternate universe battle against the Skrulls while thinks about hiding his genius behind false humility, and having to do whatever it takes to solve the problems of the world. Reed shuts off the Bridge, which returns Sue, Ben, and Johnny to Earth. Everyone’s glad to be reunited, until Sue asks where the kids are. Turn the page and we see Franklin and Valeria running from Osborn as he shoots at them with a gun (!).

The kids hide inside an office while Osborn monologues about how he has no hesitation about killing kids, saying he’s a believer in “corporal punishment.” (I’m no lawyer, but I find it hard to believe corporal punishment gives someone the right to shoot little kids. Let’s just assume Osborn is exaggerating for dramatic purpose.) Then the FF jump out, ready for a fight, as Sue says, “Get away from my children!”

Issue #5 begins right away with Osborn’s answer to Sue, “Make me.” Sue disarms him with a force field, but that only sends a message for Gargan and the H.A.M.M.E.R. troops to attack. She stops them by surrounding the FF with a force field, and Osborn inside it with them. This would appear to put Osborn at a disadvantage, but he instead withdraws his gun again and aims it at Reed. Except Osborn is shot in the arm by… Franklin! His toy gun now has real bullets, apparently.

Reed stands up to Osborn, telling him to leave. Osborn makes more threats, saying the FF will never stop him, and he’ll come after them when they least expect it. Norman leaves, taking all his goons with him. The whole family is reunited. Johnny asks if Reed found what he was looking for inside the Bridge, and he says it’s hard to say, but he thinks so.

Sue asks for more details, and Reed says he might know how to fix everything. She asks if anything else happened. Then we get a flashback. Just before Reed shut down the Bridge, he asked for one final projection. He asks how many Bridges have been built in by other Reeds in other universes, and the computer tells him there are 141 of them. He then sees a bunch of mysterious figures emerging from the other side of the Bridge.

Back in the present, a shifty-looking Reed tells Sue that nothing else happened. She tells him to destroy the Bridge, because it endangered everyone. He promises to take it apart, piece by piece. Then we see more of the flashback, where the mysterious figures tell Reed they can help fix things in his universe. He asks who they are, and they say, “We’re just like you,” and “We’ll be here waiting when you’re ready.”

Reed keeps his promise to take the Bridge apart, only to then put it all back together in secret a week later. He says this is his crossing-the-threshold moment, and that everything that’s gone wrong from Civil War onward has been his fault all along. He enters his private thinking room, with his mathematic equations written all over the walls. He thinks, “I know what I have to do to fix it.” We see that he’s written on the wall, “Idea #101, solve everything.” The caption says this is to be continued in Fantastic Four #570, but our heroes must deal with Dr. Doom before that. Speaking of which…

To stay caught up with events in Fantastic Four, we’ve also got to look at what’s been happening in Dark Reign proper. Secret Invasion: Dark Reign #1 takes place immediately after Secret Invasion ended, with Osborn forming his own version of the Illuminati made up of Loki, Namor, Emma Frost, the Hood and our very own Dr. Doom. They’re called the Cabal. With the exception of the Hood, each of these characters are in a down place in their lives. Working with Osborn will put them back on top. Remember that when we last saw Dr. Doom, he was locked up in the Hauge.

Then, in Dark Avengers #1-4, Osborn formed his own team of Avengers, with a few washed-up heroes and a bunch of villains posing as classic Avengers. He even got an Iron Man suit of his own and named himself the Iron Patriot. His team got their first mission when Morgana Le Fey kept time traveling from the Arthurian era (era) to the present over and over to attack Dr. Doom and claim Latveria for her own. Osborn’s Avengers saved the day, and Osborn used his new political powers to restore Dr. Doom to the Latverian throne. And THAT’S where the next issue of Fantastic Four picks up.

Unstable molecule: If you know your Fantastic Four history, you’ve probably already guessed the figures inside the Bridge are the Council of Reeds, a controversial subject we’ll get to sooner rather than later.

Fade out: The Western version of Sue is named “Black Sue,” which is maybe not appropriate. It’s because of her all-black outfit (based on Black Widow, maybe?).  

Clobberin’ time: The Elizabethan version of Ben, called “Chamberlain Grimm,” also joins the alternate FF on their adventures, often hesitant to join the fight until the others encourage him to do so.

Flame on: Even though Franklin saves the day by shooting Osborn, Johnny is the one who is quick to snatch the gun away from Franklin and tell him guns aren’t for kids.

Fantastic fifth wheel: The newly-rebuilt H.E.R.B.I.E. robots are seen in one panel helping Reed dismantle the Bridge. Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot.   

Four and a half: Franklin’s cowboy outfit from the start of miniseries pays off in the final confrontation, as he says a bunch of tough-guy Western lines to stand up to Osborn.

Our gal Val: We were initially told that the FF were going to keep Valeria’s super-genius a secret. But now that Norman Osborn knows, it’s safe to assume everyone knows.

Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. In the pirate universe, that version of Sue was revealed to be “Agent Storm,” secretly reporting to that reality’s version of the Illuminati.

Trivia time: Why is Loki a woman during Dark Reign? It happened just before this, in Thor vol. 3 #5. After Thor came back from the dead following Ragnarok, he went on a quest to find other reborn Asgardians. He found Balder and Loki still alive, held prisoner by a reanimated Destroyer armor. Loki says she (the Marvel Wiki gives her female pronouns during this time) was changed by the Fates upon her rebirth. She promises peace with Thor, only to secretly join the Cabal. Loki remained female for quite some time, even becoming the new Scarlet Witch for a while. She’ll die again in Siege and then be reborn again as Kid Loki in Journey Into Mystery.

Fantastic or frightful? A lot of the alternate timeline stuff in Dark Reign: Fantastic Four has little to do with the plot, and feels like it’s only there for artist Sean Chen to go wild with new designs and big splash pages. The confrontation with Osborn is the big moment, and it’s frightening how he has so much political power that he can shoot at children and get away with it. An enjoyable read, but a slim one.

Next: No day at the beach.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech, strange creatures, and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first ten episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. We’re in Marvel’s “never-ending crossover” mode as Dark Reign begins the second that Secret Invasion ends. But what does it mean for the FF?

What’s Dark Reign about? At the end of Secret Invasion, Norman Osbourne is the one who saved the day at the end, acting as leader of the Thunderbolts. This was seen on news cameras worldwide, making Osbourne a hero. What’s more, the US President made Osbourne the number one guy, putting him charge of the Avengers, the Thunderbolts, the Fifty States Initiative, and H.A.M.M.E.R., which is Osbourne’s new hardcore replacement for S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, and he’s started his own version of the Illuminati, made up of villains.

Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #1 tells us it’s been one week since the Skrull invasion, long enough for Osbourne to take control of the superhero community. Reed works in his lab, musing about how these events have him feel like he’s crossed a threshold and had a moment of clarity.

Then we’re reminded that the new Baxter Building was rebuilt from scratch at the end of Secret Invasion (should I start calling it the new new Baxter Building?). Alicia joins Franklin and Valeria on a shopping spree, because the building was restored but the FF’s personal belongings were not. Sue, Ben, and Johnny have some playful bickering while Reed’s reprogrammed Doombots move all the new furniture in.

The others check on Reed in his lab, where he’s tinkering with science instead of putting all the new stuff away. He says he’s invented an observation device that can show them how problems like theirs were solved in other earths. He calls it the Bridge. Sue asks him why he had to build it on moving day, and Reed says he has to know everything has gone so terribly wrong.

Then a bunch of military vehicles pull up in front of the Baxter Building. Norman Osbourne is inside one, giving orders to H.A.M.M.E.R. troops. He says the Fantastic Four are suspended from the Initiative, and today they’re being shut down. “Resistance is expected,” he says.

Inside, Reed prepares for a journey. Apparently, he must enter the Bridge in order to glimpse the other worlds. He says he’ll only be gone for a moment from the others’ point of view. Reed says some of his choices led to the world being messed up and his family almost dying. Reed disappears into the Bridge just as the H.A.M.M.E.R. soldiers bust through the building’s lobby. Sue, Ben, and Johnny enter an elevator, with Sue saying she wants this over in two minutes.

The soldiers reach the building’s generator and cut the power, making Reed notice something is amiss while inside the Bridge. Alicia and the kids show up outside, seeing energy waves coming from the top of the building. The power outage stops the elevator, so Sue has Ben tear open the door. On the other side is another world, filled with dinosaurs and what look like superhumans. Inside the Bridge, Reed gets the energy fields stabilized. He says, “Okay… here we go. Let’s have a look at everything.”

Issue #2 begins with Franklin distracting the H.A.M.M.E.R. troops with toy guns while genius Valeria builds a real weapon out of Reed’s science gear. This scares off the soldiers, who now say they’re not there to attack the FF, but to serve notice that the FF’s operations are to be shut down. There’s a few shots of Sue, Ben, and Johnny fighting the dinosaurs and other characters, and then we’re back to the kids. The power is still out, so Valeria gets to work on fixing it.

Inside the Bridge, we see Reed mapping out other universes where recent Marvel events went differently. Valeria gets the power back on, after which the dinosaur world seems to fade away as the caption states, “Variable space-time compressing…” Reed determines that only 418 alternate versions of the superhero registration act resulted in a peaceful solution. He tells the Bridge computer to feed those directly into his brain (!). He deduces that every nonviolent solution to Civil War resulted when Iron Man’s involvement was little to none.

Inside the compressed space-time, we see an Elizabethan England type of setting, with Sue sitting on a throne, surrounded by old-timey versions of other Marvel heroes. She learns there’s a peasant rebellion in the works, led by “a man with an iron heart and a silver tongue.” Outside the castle, we see Elizabethan Tony Stark talk about fighting for fairness and equality. He initially brags about being nonviolent and enlightened, only to draw a sword and says he will fight if dialogue fails. He leads his team of old-timey superheroes in chanting, “Republic! Republic! Republic!”

Reed continues to study other what-ifs of how Civil War could have been prevented. He finally concludes that the deciding factor is him acting alone, without Tony Stark or Hank Pym. No one else was there to interpret his ideas except for him. Reed tells the computer to show him more, after which the Elizabethan reality disappears into collapsed space-time, and Reed, Sue, and Johnny end up in yet another reality, where Johnny is a pirate captain, leading pirate Sue and pirate Ben are attacking another ship. But wait, the Elizabethan timeline’s Ben is also here, demanding to know what’s going on.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: We’re in Dark Reign and Secret Invasion just happened, but Civil War is what’s on Reed’s mind, showing just how massive of a shadow that event cast over the Marvel Universe.

Fade out: With Reed inside the Bridge, Sue immediately takes the leadership role when the Baxter Building is attacked. Reed and Johnny know to take her orders.

Clobberin’ time: The Elizabethan version of Ben is “Chamberlain Grimm,” who wears a monocle. When the peasants revolt, he says, “M’Lady, ‘tis the clobbering hour.”

Flame on: Johnny bemoans the fact that he lost his list of girls’ phone numbers in the old Baxter Building.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Reed has multiple H.E.R.B.I.E. robots assisting him in the lab, after we’d been told he dismantled H.E.R.B.I.E. to use his tech in the repurposed Doombots. I guess there’s no rule that Reed can’t build more H.E.R.B.I.E.s. Freaking H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot.

In the other universes, we see brief glimpses of FF alternate members Luke Cage, She-Hulk, and Storm.

Four and a half: Franklin spends these issues dressed in a cowboy costume he bought on the family’s shopping spree. My guess is he’s acting up in dealing with his little sister being revealed as a super-genius.

Our gal Val: Valeria reveals her “weapon” she invented on the spot to scare away the H.A.M.M.E.R. guys is really a communication device powerful enough to contact an orbiting space station.

Trivia time: The Marvel Wiki alleges that the dinosaur timeline is the same prehistoric Earth seen way back in Eternals #1. Sure, why not?

Fantastic or frightful? By this point in the characters’ histories, jumping from alt-universe to alt-universe is as much of a commonality as fighting Dr. Doom. Except this time, they’re doing it in the context of Civil War and Dark Reign. It’s an exciting start to the miniseries that really has you hungry for what’s next. But it’s getting close to midnight on Thursday, and I’ve got to get this posted.

Next: It can’t Reign all the time.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech, strange creatures, and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first ten episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The Secret Invasion crossover just keeps Skrull-ing along with issues 5-8, promising yet another big status quo change for the Marvel Universe.

Recap: The Skrulls having been living in secret among the Marvel heroes for a while, led by the Skrull Empress in place of Spider-Woman. As they’ve revealed themselves, the New Avengers are separated while fighting Skrulls in the jungles of the Savage Land, and a Skrull battleship unleashes hell over New York City. A Skrull posing as Sue infiltrated the new Baxter Building, seemingly destroying the top half of the building by opening the Negative Zone portal. Reed was captured by a Skrull impersonating Hank Pym and locked up inside one of their ships. When Agent Brand of S.W.O.R.D. (the outer space version of S.H.I.E.L.D.) got blasted into space, she ended up on board that same ship.

Issue #5 begins with Norman Osbourne, current leader of the Thunderbolts, appealing to the Skrull who had been impersonating Mar-Vell as a sleeper agent to regain the heroism he had in that role. Then Nick Fury and the heroes of the New York battle have retreated into hiding, watching as the Skrulls broadcast a message to Earth, promising to end poverty, hardship, and disease once Earth becomes a member of the Skrull empire.

In space, Agent Brand fights her way through the Skrulls and finds Reed. He regains consciousness and accuses her of being a Skrull. He then uses the ship’s computers to assess the situation on Earth. He says, “I know what we need.” The ship is under attack, and the Mar-Vell Skrull shows up. At the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, the Skrulls have taken Maria Hill as a captive, but she out-Skrulls them with a life model decoy. While they fight her double, she sneaks off and wrecks the Helicarrier.

In the Savage Land, Tony Stark recovers from his confrontation with the Skrull Empress while the other heroes reunite and wonder who is or isn’t a Skrull. This includes a bunch of Marvel heroes as they appeared years earlier, who came out a Skrull ship claiming to be the original versions of themselves.

Then Reed comes crashing down in the middle of the Savage Land on board his wrecked Skrull ship. He’s developed a weapon, and with one shot, he reveals everyone who is a Skrull. It’s mostly the old-timey heroes. Now that everyone knows who is who, the heroes easily defeat the Skrulls. After seeing Mockingbird was a Skrull, Hawkeye, currently wearing the Ronin costume, swears to kill every last one of the Skrulls.

Issue #6 has the Mar-Vell Skrull tracking down Noh-Varr, a.k.a. Marvel Boy, who is a Kree. The Mar-Vell Skrull says the Skrulls have no honor, willing to lie or kill their fellow Skrulls to get to Earth. He says his time as a sleeper has shown him how good the Earth is, and he urges Noh-Varr to fight on Earth’s behalf.

A Skrull contacts the White House, explaining that humanity will be vastly improved by being a part of the Empire. He says the Skrulls have only attacked the superheroes who were aggressive to them, and that all hostilities will cease if the superheroes stand down. At Camp Hammond, home of the Fifty States Initiative, the Hank Pym Skrull and the Empress compare notes about Noh-Varr, the New Avengers in the Savage Land, and Reed’s escape. The Empress says the Wasp will be the Skrull’s backup plan. The New Avengers fly to New York, with Tony Stark swearing revenge against the Empress, only to find NYC trashed from the battle.

The Skrulls threaten civilians in New York, so Nick Fury’s new Howling Commandoes and the Young Avengers fight back. The Hood, who had recently taken over the Kingpin’s criminal empire, watches this from a distance along with a bunch of other villains. The Hood urges them to hold back, and not join the fight yet. There’s a weird bit where Thor and Captain America arrive (didn’t they do this at the end of issue #4?). This is the first time they’d been reunited since Thor’s death at the end of his series, with him having missed all of Civil War. He and Cap don’t trust each other.

There’s a big standoff at Central Park with the Skrulls on one side, and the New Avengers, Thunderbolts, Young Avengers, and Howling Commandoes on the other side. Reed does most of the talking, saying the Skrulls aren’t there to save the Earth, but to destroy it out of petty revenge. The Empress says, “He loves you,” which is something the Skrulls have been saying throughout all this. She adds that “he” refers to “God.” Stark has had enough. He does the ol’ “Avengers Assemble!” and the big fight breaks out.

Issue #7 offers several pages of the fight, with dozens of superheroes and Skrulls battling it out. There’s a lot of drama as the Hank Pym Skrull chases after the Wasp. Bullseye, hiding out on the sidelines, takes out the Pym Skrull with a sniper shot. So now the Hood and all the villains join the fight. Reed is confronted by the Sue Skrull, and then attacked by a whole bunch of Skrulls all taking Sue’s form. The new Howling Commandoes fight off all the Sues. Iron Man has to leave the battle to go repair his armor. Spider-Man jokes about how this crisis isn’t so bad because the Watcher hasn’t shown up yet, only for the Watcher to show up.

Jessica Jones watches from a distance. She leaves her baby Danielle with Jarvis (not knowing this Jarvis is a Skrull) to join the fight. Then Noh-Varr flies into the city, landing with a huge boom. He proclaims, “This fight is over!” Jessica reunites with Luke Cage, Kate Bishop is injured, the Empress electrocutes Wolverine. Hawkeye takes a big shot, successfully arrowing the Empress. Then the Hank Pym Skrull, despite his sniper injury, enacts the backup plan. Wasp has a flashback of Hank (the Skrull) giving her a new growth formula to give her giant powers as well as shrinking ones. Wasp grows to giant size, unleashing some sort of dark energy onto all the heroes.

Issue #8 has narrative captions further explaining that the Skrulls implanted a bioweapon inside the Wasp in case all else fails. Thor summons a hurricane to contain the dark energy, after which the Wasp’s body fades away. Thor swears, “I will avenge thee, Janet.”

The Empress reemerges, healing from her arrow shot. The heroes surround her, about to attack, but it’s Norman Osbourne who takes her out with a gun. The caption says, “Only one person got the killshot.” Osbourne then takes charge, ordering all the heroes to defeat what’s left of the Skrulls, primarily the warships still in orbit. The heroes take out the ships while not killing Skrulls on board, for interrogation. Then Iron Man finds something interesting in one ship. This one lands in NYC. Inside are the real Spider-Woman, Hank Pym, Elektra, and everyone else the Skrulls replaced.

There’s a lot of catching up, and everyone’s still a little suspicious of Spider-Woman. The villains run off. Hawkeye and Mockingbird share a kiss, while Nick Fury silently turns his back on Maria Hill. When Jessica Jones sees Jarvis among the survivors, she realizes that she left baby Danielle with a Skrull. Jessica, Carol Danvers, and Luke Cage fly to their apartment to discover Skrull Jarvis and the baby are gone.

The we’re treated to several pages of Fantastic Four, as Reed and Sue rush to the new Baxter Building, fearing that their kids died when the Negative Zone portal opened. Then we catch up to the ending of Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four where Ben, Johnny, and the kids try to figure out the Negative Zone portal. Reed works his computer, and the Baxter Building miraculously rebuilds itself, so it’s like brand new. Whatever this backup plan is, it’s not able to recreate any of their personal belongings with it. Sue promises the kids a shopping spree.

The spirit of Civil War looms large as Thor tells Iron Man he abhors what Tony has become. Cap turns his back on Iron Man without saying a word. Hulking, who is part Skrull, negotiates with one of the Skrull captives. The captive said the Skrull Empire is dying, and Earth was their last chance.

Then the status quo change. At the White House, the US President says this invasion, combined with the heroes all fighting each other during Civil War, means that Tony Stark is out as head of S.H.I.E.L.D. Not only that, but S.H.I.E.L.D. is being shut down permanently, in favor of a newer and more modern organization. The whole world watched the news cameras record the New York battle on live TV, and saw a new hero save the world. Marvel’s new number one superhero is… Norman Osbourne!!!

The President further explains that Osbourne now has complete control of whatever this new S.H.I.E.L.D. replacement will be, as well as the New Avengers, and the Thunderbolts, and the entire Fifty States Initiative! Osbourne promises a full investigation into Stark Industries to root out any criminal negligence. Later, at Avengers Tower, Norman opens a secret door. Inside, he has assembled his own version of the Illuminati, with Dr. Doom, Namor, Loki, Emma Frost, and the Hood. He says, “It’s a new day,” and “This is how it’s going to be…” And just like that, without so much as taking a breath, Dark Reign begins on the same page that Secret Invasion ends.

Unstable molecule: We’re not given any details on Reed’s Skrull-exposing weapon. It seems to work not by preventing the Skrulls from shape-changing, but by them retaining their green Skrull faces no matter what form they take.

Fade out: Reed being attacked by a gang of Skrull Sues is one of the series’ most eye-popping moments. This is the type of weirdness you can only get in a Skrull story.

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s suggestion on how to restore the Baxter Building is just him saying “Press the blue button” over and over. Reed’s actions suggest that it’s a little more complicated than that.

Flame on: Johnny starts to tell Reed and Sue about Lyja’s return in Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four, but he stops himself on the word “she.” Reed responds with, “I know all about it.” Does he?

Four and a half: After learning that all their personal possession couldn’t be restored, Sue promises Franklin a shopping spree at FAO Shwartz. (Wasn’t that in Times Square? She better hope it survived the Skrull attack.)

Our gal Val: Valeria tells Sue she knew the Skrull in issue #1 wasn’t the real Sue. Is Valeria that smart, or is this classic kid exaggeration?

Fantastic fifth wheel: As one of the main guys in the New Avengers, Luke Cage is front and center throughout the all the battles in Secret Invasion.

Trivia time: Turns out the Wasp isn’t really dead. In Avengers vol. 4 #32, we learn she was sucked into the Microverse at the end of Secret Invasion.

Jessica Jones’ search for baby Danielle continues in New Avengers #47-50. While the Avengers are dismantled to make way for Osbourne’s new team, Luke Cage and Bullseye eventually find the baby with the Jarvis Skrull. He wants to use the baby as a negotiating tactic to exchange for the Skrull prisoners from the invasion. Bullseye kills the Jarvis Skrull, and Luke, Jessica, and the baby are reunited.

The Marvel Wiki alleges that the Skrull language is a fictional “alienese” alphabet that Marvel letterers use to represent any number of alien speech. Attempts to codebreak Secret Invasion, however, reveals the Skrulls speaking mostly unimportant filler phrases or gibberish.

Howard the Duck appears briefly in issues 6 and 7, fighting the Skrulls with a handgun. I guess he was in New York at the time.

Fantastic or frightful? Whew. This crossover is all over the place. The big issue is that it’s all ensemble with no set protagonist. Iron Man disappears during the final battle so he can repair his armor. Hawkeye’s bloodlust for revenge could make him protagonist, but this doesn’t get much time spent on it. Noh-Varr has his big moment with Mar-Vell, but his big hero moment during the finale didn’t affect much. If anything, the Skrull Empress is the main character, as her plans work in the first half, and then unravel in the second half. The Wasp is barely in this series, only for her death to be the big shock moment. And yes, it’s all fighting and battles, and not enough of the who’s-a-Skrull-and-who-isn’t spycraft. In the end, Secret Invasion was only an excuse to have a bunch of Marvel heroes in one comic at the same time.

Next: Reign on me.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech, strange creatures, and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first ten episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.