Tim Burton rewatch! Time to do the “early internet historian” thing and go back to the days of flash animation. How many of Burton’s fans even know about 2001’s The World of Stainboy?
Here’s what happens: Stainboy is a superhero of sorts. Following orders from a police chief, Stainboy investigates strange goings-on in his hometown of Burbank. Wordlessly, Stainboy dispatches a series of outlandish supervillains in grotesque, often gory ways.
Origin story: When all those flash animation shorts were being passed around the internet in the old days, Universal Studios wanted in on it. They partnered with Burton via a group called Flinch Studios for six shorts. These characters originated in Burton’s 1997 book The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories. If you’re wondering why that book was never adapted as a movie… this is it.
Outsider theory: Stainboy is an unknowable character. Sometimes he uses his power of leaving behind stains to stop the villains, but usually the villains are their own undoing. But in the final episode we get Stainboy’s origin, and it’s deeply, deeply sad.
And about the villains. An argument could be made that they’re not villains at all, and their only crime is that they’re different. This is a classic Burton-ism if there ever was one.
Reality breaks through: Setting this in real-life Burbank and having an angry police chief barking orders at our hero would seem to be reality looming over the strangeness on screen.
Best bits: The chief: “Thank you, Stainboy, once again for making it safe for citizens to waste huge amounts of power and energy, rapidly speeding up the destruction of our planet. And on a personal note, thank you for showing me it’s better to live life than just watch it on TV. Now get the hell out of here!”
Thoughts on this viewing: This is a lot edgier than Burton usually gets. There’s a lot of comedic gore and death, and a lot of here’s-everything-wrong-with-society jokes. One dig on the Disney corporation is especially mean-spirited, which is odd considering that’s where Burton would later make some of his biggest hits. But Stainboy is nonetheless a fun watch, if a little baffling.
Next: …and chips.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. One of comicdom’s most popular – and most controversial – creators takes over the series in issue #554.
What can I possibly say about writer Mark Millar? With his indie work in stuff like Wanted, The Kingsman, Nemesis, Super Crooks, and especially Kick-Ass, he built a reputation of being “dudebro” or “edgelord” or other such titles. But it’s always struck me as cynical. The guy seems to enjoy stirring up controversy, to where being “edgelord” is his brand. This of course led to Marvel’s Civil War, where he made it a point to screw with the entire Marvel Universe. On the plus side, his work on The Ultimates, Ultimate X-Men, and The Authority shows his writing to be huge and cinematic. It’s no wonder that Hollywood took notice of his work when making the Marvel movies.
Speaking of cinematic, this issue also brings Bruan Hitch and Paul Neary on board for artwork. They exploded onto the scene with the above-mentioned The Authority, where they pioneered what came to be known as “widescreen comics” with big action and a sense of gigantic scale. They continued this style through the deluxe-sized JLA: Heaven’s Ladder, and then on The Ultimates with Millar, which brought them to Fantastic Four.
We begin in… the Old West! The FF, along with Franklin and Valeria, on a train being pursued by men on horseback firing at them. Reed says they’re heading for a time portal, which take them back to the present, and into Disneyland! There’s a lot of banter in this excuse-for-the-characters-to-use-their-powers-for-a-few-pages thing. Just as the train is about to collide with an oncoming mail train, it goes through the portal and instead crashes into the present. We learn that the plan was for the family to visit Disneyland’s opening day ceremonies in 1955, but things went awry.
There are moving boxes all around, as Johnny announces he’s moving out to a new loft inside NYC’s Flatiron Building. He says he has plans to start his own rock band and to star in a reality show. Sue talks about starting her own super-team to raise money for charity rather than fight supervillains, and Ben and Reed head off to Ben’s old school to do a presentation for some kids. At the school, the female teachers are all attracted to Reed, at least until he bores all the kids rambling on and on about physics. Ben cheers everyone up by showing the Fantasticar off to the kids. One of the teachers, Debbie, takes a liking to Ben rather than Reed, and she says yes when he asks her out.
At the new Baxter Building, Sue is meeting with her new charity-focused super-team, with She-Hulk and the Wasp. Sue explains it’s a way to help people outside of the FF’s usual end-of-the-world scenarios. A portal opens, and out steps Alyssa Moy. (Who is this again? She’s Reed’s old girlfriend, now a millionaire scientist in her right.) Alyssa is not there to join Sue’s team. Instead, she says she needs to speak to Reed right away. She adds that she’s now married to secretive billionaire Ted Castle. Reed shows up, and says Ted is one of the greatest minds on the planet.
Alyssa says she and Ted are working on something that will affect the entire world. She says she needs Reed’s help, and she promises it’ll only take 24 hours. She and Reed disappear through the portal. It leads to a high-tech base at the North Pole called Portal Prime, home of an organization called the Earth Trust. Reed meets Ted Castle, who explains that the Earth Trust’s work must be kept secret to avoid mass hysteria. Ted says that if there’s a worldwide catastrophe, humanity can be evacuated through the giant portal at Portal prime. Alyssa offers to show Reed the other side of the portal, adding that work on the other side is still unfinished.
They travel through the portal, to see a planet and a moon, both under construction. We see the planet’s surface, but also a skeletal structure underneath. “Welcome to Nu-World, Reed,” Alyssa says. “This is where we’re going when the Earth dies.”
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: Reed has refurbished a bunch of Doombots as the new Baxter Building’s household staff. Sue says she doesn’t know exactly where the Doombots came from.
Fade out: Sue is friendly with Alyssa at first, but then shows some hints of jealousy after Reed runs off with Alyssa. This issue has a few references to her and Reed still working things out after their breakup during Civil War.
Clobberin’ time: Back when Alyssa was a semi-regular part of the cast, there were hints of a romance between her and Ben. Upon seeing her in this issue, Ben remarks, “She’s about ten times hotter than I remembered.”
Flame on: There’s mention of Johnny’s previous career attempt as a Hollywood actor, which he says he’s left behind. Since then, he’s also worked as an NYC firefighter and as the FF’s chief financial officer, neither of which are mentioned here.
Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk says she’s secured permission for Sue’s new team to be named after Miss America. This is not the pageant, but the World War II hero, often described as Marvel’s first female superhero.
Reed tells Alyssa that he dismantled H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot so the refurbished Doombots could use H.E.R.B.I.E.’s solar collectors. Is this the death of H.E.R.B.I.E.?!?
Four and a half/Our gal Val: Franklin and Valeria are here to remind readers that they’re part of the main cast. Franklin falls off the train during the opening scene, but Reed is quick to rescue him.
Trivia time: It’s odd that Johnny says he’s going to live in the Flatiron Building. The Marvel Wiki insists that it’s still the headquarters of Damage Control, even after they were exposed as evil war profiteers during Civil War. Here in the real world, it’s been home to various companies over the years, but the internet is telling me that a new renovation was recently announced to convert the building into condos. Now Johnny can live there in the upcoming MCU movie.
If the Fantastic Four had succeeded in visiting Disneyland’s opening day in 1955, it’s likely they wouldn’t have had a good time. The opening was famously a disaster, with broken-down attractions, unruly crowds, and live TV cameras only adding to the chaos.
Fantastic or frightful? We’ll see how things go, but as far as this issue is concerned, Mark Millar is doing right by Fantastic Four. He seems to have real affection for the characters, and he’s added a lot of deep lore for old-time fans. I know his run on the series will go places, but this issue is nonetheless a great opening.
Next: In with the Nu.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! In 2001, Burton took on one of Hollywood’s hottest long-running properties with Planet of the Apes. This is when things get… hairy.
Here’s what happens: It’s the future. Astronaut Leo Davidson is aboard a space station working with test chimpanzees, hoping for a chance to do some real flying. He gets his chance when the station enters an electromagnetic storm. He flies through the storm and crash lands on a planet… of the apes! The apes rule the humans, but tensions are high. When trying to return to his ship, Leo finds himself in the middle of the rebellion.
Origin story: The 1969 film Planet of the Apes, loosely based on a 1961 French novel, was a smash hit and instant pop culture sensation filled with iconic imagery. In the 1990s, retro was king, and everybody in Hollywood wanted to be in on the remake. Burton alleges that years of script drafts and pre-production design were already done by the time he joined the film, making this more a work-for-hire gig for him.
Outsider theory: Leo is certainly an outsider by way of not being from this planet, but the real Burton-style outsider is Ari, an ape who shows empathy for the lower-class humans and wants them to be treated with respect and compassion. She’s the daughter of an ape politician with ties to the ape military, so you can guess how well that goes.
Reality breaks through: The screenwriters are all about wanting to comment on our own society, perhaps going too far. There are allegories for civil rights, allegories for science vs. religion, allegories for gun control – it’s all allegories all the time.
Best bits: Ari: “I’d like to see your world.” Leo: “I don’t know. They’d probably prod you and poke you, and put you in a cage too.” Ari: “You’d protect me.”
Thoughts on this viewing: The idea is that the apes are evolving, becoming smarter and more civilized, while the humans are de-evolving, becoming less civilized and more animalistic. This story takes place at the precise moment when the downward and upward meet right in the middle, asking whether any equilibrium – or, dare I say, equality – is possible.
I like that idea, but the movie lacks internal consistency. Just how advanced are the apes? They don’t have electricity, but they do have realistic dentures? How animalistic are humans? They dress like Tarzan but speak just as eloquently as the apes. The makeup and set designs are great, and the walkthrough of the ape city at the start is especially fun, but overall I’m frustrated with how all-over-the-place the movie is.
Next: …and chips.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #553 is the last one for famed writer Dwayne McDuffie, full of time-twisting cosmic craziness.
Where were we? A future Dr. Doom time-traveled to the present, saying that Reed’s “idea 101” for improving the future will instead wreck the future with Reed becoming a tyrant. The FF fought Doom, not knowing what to think of this. Then an older Fantastic Four appeared, seemingly from the future as well.
This issue begins with diagrams of time travel, concluding that traveling to the past creates a new branch of timeline rather than altering what’s going on now. Then we’re back on the streets of NYC where the future FF confronts the present FF. Reed again quotes “You can’t change the past.” Doom disagrees saying that this timeline in particular can be changed. There’s a lot of back and forth about the present and the future, including future Ben’s ability to change into a human and back at will. Then there’s even more talking about possibilities, and the choices characters make when they do or don’t know the future.
The FF wonder who is telling the truth, future Reed or future Doom. Sue gives a big speech about how the whole Civil War thing has her seeing Reed’s flaws in a new light, but that she still loves him. Sue then argues that Doom told the truth, because while Doom might indulge in trickery, out-and-out lies are against his code of ethics.
Then more debating. Future Doom says future Reed will create utopia in the future, only for Reed’s ego to overtake him. Future Johnny disagrees and says Reed isn’t interested in power or leadership. When future Reed tries to take Doom back to the future (heh), Doom blasts him and requests asylum from the present FF. Ben and Johnny want to let the future FF have him, but Reed says they must agree to the asylum until they know what’s really going on. Reed’s teammates reluctantly agree.
The future FF won’t have this, so they fight. Future Ben’s strength has increased over the years, allowing him to overpower present Ben. Future Johnny is able to absorb the flame out of present Johnny. Future Reed and present Reed debate while they fight, with future Reed saying it’s about more than stopping Doom but also preserving the timeline. Reed attacks them to stop them talking, so both versions of Sue team up to pin Doom to the wall. Present Sue says to present Reed, “Tell us what Victor didn’t want us to hear.”
Present Reed gives a big speech about the “conservation of causality.” He says that minor disruptions in a timeline will work themselves out, and branching timelines only result from major disruptions. The two FFs then conclude that the future FF were just trying to keep the future the way it is, while Doom was the one actively trying to change history.
Sue confronts Doom about what the future is really like. Again, he cannot lie, and he admits the future is a paradise. There’s a big speech about all the ways the future is better. Doom loses it, insisting that these should be his accomplishments, not Reed’s.
Later, the two Reeds find a branching timeline where all the superheroes are dead. It’s a whole world ready for Doom to tame. Doom says he’s not a monster, and he adds, “Neither are you.” Future Reed and present Reed share a handshake. Reed asks how the future really turns out. Future Reed doesn’t offer specifics, but he says that there will be many challenges ahead, but love, family, and friendship will get them through it.
The future FF returns to the future. Sue revisits what was said during Civil War, that Reed’s future predictions were based the actions of groups, but not individuals. He says he’s recalculated the number of individuals needed to change the world. “Four,” he says.
Unstable molecule: When the two Reeds fight, one stretches his hand into the other’s face in a weird way, kind of like they’re phasing into each other or something.
Fade out: The two Sues don’t fight, but instead communicate in a way none of the others do. Future Dr. Doom’s cool battle armor can’t withstand the combined strength of their force fields.
Clobberin’ time: While future Ben is stronger, he has the old-fashioned “lumpy” Thing look, which traditionally has been considered the weaker version of Ben’s exteriors. (Generally speaking, the “rocky” Thing is the standard, and the “spikey” Thing is the strongest.)
Flame on: Future Johnny burns with white flame, claiming to have greater control over his powers.
Trivia time: Not surprisingly, the future FF were never seen again after this. Likewise, we never learn how future Dr. Doom fared in his new superhero-less universe. Despite all this talk about preserving the timeline, the Marvel Wiki is quick to point out that these future characters are indeed from an alternate future.
This business about the “conservation of causality” is also called a “law of Kang.” This is a direct reference to Avengers #267, which introduced the infamous Council of Kangs, and argued about creating alternate timelines in place of outright changing the past.
Ben references “that Skrull business” among recent crises the heroes have recently faced. Except this story came out before the Skrull Invasion crossover. He could be referencing all kinds of “Skrull business” that’s happened over the years.
Fantastic or frightful? We writers obsess over the phrase “Show, don’t tell.” This almost all-dialogue issue is all telling rather than showing. This plot could have been stretched out across several issues. Act two could have been the FF granting future Doom his asylum, and then having to live with him, with the future FF being a constant threat the whole time. I feel terrible saying these things, because Dwayne McDuffie remains one of my favorite writers. Yet I can only conclude that his Fantastic Four isn’t his best work. Perhaps Marvel editorial is to blame, making him rush through the story to make way for a new, higher-profile creative team.
Next: We’re the Millars.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! Sleepy Hollow was Burton’s tribute to his favorite Hammer Studios films, but with plenty of modern touches. And it rules.
Here’s what happens: It’s 1799. Science-minded detective Ichabod Crane investigates mysterious beheadings in the overly superstitious town of Sleepy Hollow. That’s where Crane’s logic goes to head-to-head with the paranormal. Or is that head to… headless?
Origin story: Washington Irving’s 1820 short story The Legend of Sleepy Hollow is often considered one of the first works of literature to be considered genuinely American. Despite its whimsical tone, the story deals with themes regarding the American Revolution and life in the thirteen colonies before and after the war. In the 1990s, screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker hit the sweet spot of an IP being well-known by everyone, but not so beloved that a wild new interpretation wouldn’t be considered sacrilegious.
Outsider theory: Ichabod is very much the outsider in this story, with his logical ways conflicting with the supernatural in Sleepy Hollow. But then…
Reality breaks through: …the movie takes a turn when Ichabod realizes that it’s someone very much human controlling the Headless Horseman, with very human motivations. This is how Ichabod can save the day at the end.
Best bits: Katrina: “Do you think me wicked?” Ichabod: “No, but perhaps there is a little bit of witch in you, Katrina.” Katrina: “Why do you say that?” Ichabod: “Because you have bewitched me.”
Thoughts on this viewing: I absolutely love Sleepy Hollow. It’s a visual and audio feast, with something interesting happening in every shot, and Danny Elfman’s bombastic yet romantic score. Is this secretly Burton’s best film?
Next: Who wants a banana?
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Our heroes have faced Dr. Doom several times, but in issue #552, they face… future Dr. Doom!
Recap: All seemed well after the original Fantastic Four were reunited after the events of Civil War. But then older versions of Black Panther, Namor, and Dr. Doom showed up, saying that one of Reed’s plans for a better future will lead to destruction in the future. Then Reed pulled out a laser gun and shot Namor in the face (!).
Things are dark as this issue starts, with Black Panther attacking Reed, and Reed saying, “To be sure, I have to shoot this one too.” Sue helps with a force field, only for Reed to headshot Panther just like he did Namor. He hands the gun to Sue, saying he doesn’t need it more. Dr. Doom, who almost looks like he’s smiling, says the madness that will destroy the future has already taken hold of Reed.
Then Ben outsmarts everyone by revealing that Namor and Black Panther were robots. Reed admits he knew this too. He explains that Doom’s presence there is a “kinetic energy inversion field” which required two projectors. (This would seem to be a classic sci-fi “he’s a hologram” trope, but we’ll soon see this version of Doom can take damage and whatnot). Doom says that his ruse changes nothing, and that his warning about Reed’s idea #101 eventually destroying the universe.
Sue demands that Doom leave, but Doom reminds her of Reed’s questionable and possibly treacherous actions during Civil War. Doom claims that Civil War’s Negative Zone prison violates human rights, and that Reed’s arrogance puts him above “both man’s and god’s law.” He then rubs salt on the wound by reminding everyone of Bill Foster’s death during Civil War.
Doom continues, saying that Reed lied to his family under the auspices of it being “all for your own good.” He further confesses that he hates Reed not because Reed is his opposite, but because he now sees something of himself in Reed. Turn the page, and it’s a double-page spread of Ben punching Dr. Doom in the face, with Ben saying, “You just crossed the line!”
Ben punches Doom outside of the building and into the street outside, pummeling Doom into the street. Ben says he doesn’t care how it looks or what people say, Reed is a good man. Ben delivers a big speech about how Reed only cares about the truth, and about standing up for anyone who’s got a raw deal in life. Ben adds that Reed is especially loyal to his own family. Doom reveals he repaired his own armor during Ben’s speech. He fights back, electrocuting Ben while arguing that Reed is not Ben’s friend.
The entire FF fights Dr. Doom, and he had defenses for each of them. After fighting off Sue, Ben, and Johnny, Doom holds up a small sphere, which turns into metal rods that entangle Reed as he tries to stretch. Rather than plead for mercy, Reed demands that Doom tell him what happens in the future, and how Reed’s idea #101 really harms humanity.
Doom grabs Reed by the mouth (!) and says that Reed’s real question is that of his own soul, that Reed questions whether he himself is evil. Then a voice says “Hey Doomsie!” Turn the page and we see an older Fantastic Four time-traveling onto the scene.
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: As of this writing, there’s a hurricane of opinions happening on Twitter regarding the casting of Reed Richards in an upcoming Disney/MCU film. Some people believe Reed is a classic Marvel hero, while others believe Reed should be an irredeemable jerk. I recommend all these folks read this issue, where Reed’s goodness vs. he’s-a-jerk-ness is explored.
Fade out: I’m unclear how Sue’s force fields help Reed shoot the Black Panther android in the head, but the comic makes it clear that Sue is complicit in this act.
Clobberin’ time: There’s one panel of Ben using his flying cycle to travel to Doom after punching Doom out of the building. This reveals he must have sent Doom flying across the whole city.
Flame on: Of the four, Johnny has had the least one-on-one interaction with Dr. Doom over the years, which makes his two-page fight with Doom in this issue especially interesting. Johnny says he never understood why Reed doesn’t just do away with Doom and get it over with.
Trivia time: According to the Marvel Wiki, future Doom and the others come from universe #81551. That’s for anyone compiling a list of all the alternate realities. (Yeah, let’s see you try to find Marvel trivia from this issue.)
Fantastic or frightful? First, let’s talk about backgrounds. Most of this issue takes place out in the streets of NYC, but casual readers will likely miss that because most pages have no backgrounds and no sense of space at all. Maybe that’s intentional to keep the focus on the emotional conflict, but this issue could have been so much more with a physical space for the characters to inhabit. Beyond that, this issue raises a lot of questions as to where the characters are after all the Civil War hubbub, and whether Reed can still be considered a hero. That’s the good part.
Next: Even more time-twisting.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! After all his box office and critical successes, it seemed Burton could do no wrong. But then audiences and critics were somewhat baffled by Mars Attacks.
Here’s what happens: Martians have come out of hiding on Mars and arrived on Earth. No one is quite sure what the Martians want, even after they lay waste to dozens (hundreds?) of humans. This is because the humans are morons. Earth’s salvation may come from an unlikely place.
Origin story: The 1962 Mars Attacks trading cards caused controversy at the time, due to images of extreme violence. (It wasn’t that extreme.) The cards’ cult popularity over the years led to eventual talk of a movie. Allegedly, the film was going to be a big-budget action film, but Burton and screenwriter Jonathan Gems re-envisioned it as a comedy. After watching a bunch of ‘50s alien invasion movies and ‘70s ensemble disaster movies, they saw many opportunities for parody.
Outsider theory: Obviously, the joke is that the aliens aren’t really the bad guys, but the humans are such buffoons that they have it coming. The awkward teenage boy and his loving yet clueless grandma are the ones who save the Earth, not the leaders, scientists, soldiers, or even celebrities.
Reality breaks through: The whole movie takes place in such a heightened reality, that I’m not sure this one has a “reality breaks through” moment. If anything, the Martians themselves are reality breaking through, in that they shake up the fantasy world the humans have made for themselves. For example, Martin Short’s character is so self-absorbed in his own fantasy of being a ladies’ man, he can’t see that there’s something obviously odd about the silent woman he meets.
Best bits: Grandma: “Richie, I think these guys are very sick.”
Thoughts on this viewing: I’m still not sure what to make of Mars Attacks. The movie would have us believe that the humans’ foolishness is their own undoing, yet the humans are played by this cast of beloved actors that we don’t want to see get killed. Yes, there’s a lot of big laughs, crazy violence, and wonderful weirdness, but at the end of it all, you’re left ask what it was all about.
Next: Back to the beginning.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The original FF are back together in issue #551, but the shadow of Civil War still hangs over them. Also, time travel!
The issue begins with the caption, “Meanwhile, 75 years later…” at a high-tech future prison called Platform 42. It’s connected to the main prison facility at the bottom of the ocean, and staffed by powerful, incorruptible cyborgs. But wait – one prisoner has escaped, leaving the cyborgs trashed in his wake. One surviving cyborg contacts Reed Richards and says Dr. Doom has escaped. An older, grey-haired Reed answers, saying he knew this would happen, he just didn’t know when.
Cut to the present where the FF are returning from a successful battle against Diablo. There’s a few pages of classic FF banter to remind us that they’re one big happy family again. But then the intruder alarm goes off inside the new Baxter Building, and everyone jumps into action. Ben smashes through a door to find Black Panther, Alicia, and a much older Namor sitting around waiting for them. (I’m assuming they rigged the intruder alarm not to go off until the FF got home.) Namor says the FF look just like he remembers them. T’Challa unmasks, also revealing himself to be much older. Reed figures out what the reader already knows, that they’ve come there from the future. Oh, and Dr. Doom is also there, wearing spiky new armor.
Ben tries attacking Doom, but Doom has a new type of force field that Reed says is only theorized. Then Reed deduces that this is his own theory come to life. Before more fighting breaks out, T’Challa says he and Namor convinced Doom to come into the past with them. Sue doesn’t trust Namor, but Reed is willing to hear him out (!) because Doom was once honest with him on the Latverian Day of Reproachment. Namor does the talking, saying the three of them stole a time machine and came to the present on a mission to save the world.
Then another twist, when Reed asks who they’re saving the world from, T’Challa says, “From you.” Doom adds that they are there not because of something Doom did, but because of something Reed is going to do. Reed then shows everyone his private thinking room, with all his equations written all over the walls, which was introduced during Civil War. Doom says Reed’s writings are well-known in the future, as these are the 100 ideas he dreamed up with Tony Stark to improve the world. Sue still feels stung, reminding everyone that Reed’s calculations predicted (or perhaps led to) all the ugliness of the superhero civil war.
Doom chides Reed for telling his teammates about the 100 ideas. Then he says the ideas have led to massive global societal upheavals. Even if Reed predicted that, Doom says, that’s not the sole reason he didn’t tell his family. Instead, Doom says, there is a 101st plan that Reed currently has in the works. Doom says he, Namor, and T’Challa are there to prevent 101 from happening.
Ben is ready for a fight again, but Doom says they’re not there to kill Reed. T’Challa says their mission is convince Reed to make the right decision. Ben presses Reed on what plan 101 is, and he says that it’s “fix everything.” It’s a single equation that could result in a worldwide utopia. Reed insists that it’s possible, but then he looks at his three visitors and asks, “Or is it?”
Doom says that in the future, Reed’s equation worked, and the Earth did indeed become a utopia, without crime or disease, and with all people living in abundance. But then the populace started worshipping Reed, the praise went to his head, and Sue left him for Namor.
As the others react to this, Namor shares his side of the story. As Reed’s future good works increased, he became more and more distant, driving his family and friends out of his life. Namor is apologetic, but he insists that they’ve come to the present because the stakes are so high, and that something must be done. Reed agrees, saying he’s worked out the answer. He pulls out a high-tech gun (!) and he shoots Namor in the face (!!). On the last page, a shadow falls over Reed’s face as he stands over Namor’s bloody corpse, saying “See? Problem solved.”
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: I doubt the scribblings on the walls in Reed’s thinking room are meant to add up to anything in the real world. Some of the words on the walls are, “possibilities,” “never assume,” “infinite,” behavior,” and “added with previous results.”
Fade out: While Sue admits that Reed’s actions during Civil War were to prevent an even greater Armageddon, the tone and the look on her face suggests that there’s still some hurt feelings there.
Clobberin’ time: Ben is in a celebratory mood with the team being back together and fighting villains again. This is likely why he’s so eager for a fight throughout the issue when everyone wants to talk.
Flame on: Upon seeing writing all over the walls of the thinking room, Johnny is the one who asks Reed why he doesn’t just use a notebook instead. (The answer: Reed likes to see the equations all at once.)
Fantastic fifth wheel: Black Panther is on hand to act as the voice of reason. With Namor on one side and Doom on the other, he’s someone the FF can trust in this situation. (Or is he?)
Four and a half/Our gal Val: Why is Alicia at the meeting? She’s there to babysit Franklin and Valeria while the FF were away, and she escorts the kids out of the room before the conversation gets too heated.
Trivia time: If the FF’s fight against Diablo has ever been told in another comic, I don’t know when that was. From what I can tell, his next appearance after this will be a supernatural-ish fight against Night Thrasher and a brand-new New Warriors team in New Warriors #10.
The story about the Latverian Day of Reproachment was told in the “My Dinner with Doom” story from 2005’s Fantastic Four Special #1.
No point is made of it, but the FF are back in their original light blue uniforms as of this issue.
Fantastic or frightful? This issue is pretty much all exposition, setting up big things to come in upcoming issues. (Feels like I’ve said that about the last couple of story arcs.) But the character work is spot-on, especially with Reed taking some responsibility and letting his family in on his secrets. Doom’s spiky armor is a pretty great design, too.
Next: Future shock.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! After taking on Gotham City, Halloweentown, and Beetlejuice’s afterlife, Burton’s next film was his strangest setting yet – real life Hollywood, in 1994’s Ed Wood.
Here’s what happens: Edward D. Wood Jr. came to Hollywood to make movies, but doesn’t have the resources or connections to do so. A chance meeting with former superstar Bela Lugosi might give Ed and his eccentric friends a chance. Also, Ed has a secret that he hasn’t yet told his girlfriend…
Origin story: The movie is based less on the life of Ed Wood and more on the book Nightmare of Ecstasy by Rudolph Grey. These are both the “good parts version” of Ed Wood’s real-life story, either skipping or shortening Ed’s WWII years before Hollywood, and his later unhappy years marked by addiction problems. Instead, both focus on the fun stuff, the making of Ed’s most well-known movies.
Outsider theory: A lot of the movie’s time is spent on Ed and his friends trying and often failing to raise money to produce their movies. Even among their successes, Ed and his friends never get the recognition from Hollywood they desire.
Then there’s the matter of Ed transvestitism. Although initially portrayed as something odd, the characters, and the movie as a whole, eventually comes around to the attitude of, “That’s just Ed, and that’s a thing he does.”
Reality breaks through: Ed is at first dating Delores, and their relationship ends after she breaks down and confronts everyone with the fact that their movies are, well, bad. Ed later meets his new love Kathy at one of his darker moments, when Bela is in the hospital, finances are down, and all seems lost.
Best bits: Ed: “If I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what’s causing them, but it’s upsetting the buffalo. So, the military is called in.”
Thoughts on this viewing: The stranger-than-fiction nature of Ed’s movies and his world make for great comedy. The script builds this up with additional great witticisms and a lot of heart as well. In the end, the movie is about celebrating Ed and his work, and not making him a punchline. A lot of Ed’s real-life fans over the years have argued that his movies provide a refreshing alternative to big Hollywood’s same-old, same-old blockbusters. Burton’s Ed Wood movie would seem to take a similar attitude.
Next: The red planet.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The World War Hulk event put the Fantastic Four in the Hulk’s angry crosshairs.
I was debating whether to include World War Hulk on this blog, since the FF are supporting characters and the event doesn’t crossover much with the main Fantastic Four series. Upon rereading, though, I see how important World War Hulk is to this time in Marvel history.
Recap: During the buildup to Civil War, the Illuminati felt that the Hulk had gotten too dangerous, and something had to be done. Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Black Bolt, and our own Reed Richards voted to send him to space and exiling him on a planet of his own. Professor X abstained from the vote, and Namor voted against it. While the Civil War exploded on Earth, Hulk was on planet Sakaar, a.k.a. Planet Hulk. After a lot of ups and downs, he eventually became king and found love with warrior woman Caiera. But then the Illuminati’s original ship exploded, taking all of Sakaar with it, including a pregnant Caiera. Now the Hulk and his new friends the Warbound are on the way back to Earth for revenge.
World War Hulk #1 kicks off with the Hulk arriving on the moon to confront Black Bolt. Black Bolt uses his powerful voice against the Hulk, but Hulk is stronger than ever after absorbing alien radiation on Sakaar, and he fights back. Hulk’s ship then arrives in the sky over New York, broadcasting the Illuminati’s message to him throughout the entire world. Now everyone knows about the Illuminati and what they’ve done. He says he’s giving New Yorkers 24 hours to evacuate the city, and to bring him Reed, Iron Man, and Strange. He then holds up a beaten and bloody Black Bolt for the world to see.
The New Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. begin the evacuation. Iron Man tries to hack satellites to control all the Earth’s nuclear weapons and unleash them on the Hulk, but the Warbound outhack him. Iron Man and Reed ask the Sentry for help. Sentry agrees, but only after asking Tony for, “a word.” Iron Man then shows up in NYC with a new Hulkbuster armor, and he and the Hulk fight. During the battle, Tony broadcasts a message to the whole world, taking responsibility for sending the Hulk to space. He insists he did it for the good of humanity. The fight reaches Avengers Tower, destroying the entire building. Hulk emerges from the wreckage with Iron Man unconscious.
Most of issue #2 has the New Avengers fighting the Warbound while Dr. Strange searches for someone who can help. Then we check in properly with the Fantastic Four. Except this is the “Fantastic Six” of recent issues, with Black Panther and Storm alongside the original four. Reed is working on a huge superweapon. He tells Black Panther to evacuate because B.P. wasn’t involved in sending the Hulk to space. Black Panther stays, to fight on behalf of all humanity. Hulk and the Warbound show up before the weapon is done. It’s another big fight, where Hulk withstands Johnny’s powerful nova flame, as well as the full force of Storm’s lightning. And of course we must have a Thing/Hulk slugfest. Even with the Hulk stronger than ever, Ben puts up a good fight, with them going at it for several pages. Just as the Hulk is about to finish off Ben, the Sentry interrupts them.
But wait, it’s not the Sentry. This is Reed posing as the Sentry to distract the Hulk. Now it’s Reed and Sue’s turn to fight him. Sue begs Hulk to stop, saying he’s not a monster. Hulk points to Reed and says, “No. He is.” Reed knocks Sue out by punching hard against her force fields, and then he beats Reed senseless. Hulk leaves with the unconscious Reed, while Sue contacts Sentry to say they failed. Reed’s weapon was powered by Sentry’s energy, and it failed. Out in the streets of NYC, Hulk’s old friend Rick Jones appeals to him to stop the violence, and then Dr. Strange attacks, teleporting the Hulk to just outside the city. There, it’s the next big battle against Hulk’s old rival, General Thunderbolt Ross, and the armed forces.
Issue #3 has the Hulk fighting Ross’s forces physically, while Dr. Strange confronts him mentally in some sort of astral plane. Strange reaches beyond the Hulk to Bruce Banner, but then Hulk’s anger reemerges, driving Strange out. Hulk then defeats Ross and all the army goons. The Sentry continues to watch from a distance, while the US President pleads with him to be a hero. It looks like Hulk has won, with the Warbound taking over the remains of New York. Then Dr. Strange attacks again, looking more like Dormammu than Dr. Strange.
Issue #4 explains that Dr. Strange merged with an evil entity named Zon to fight the Hulk. Their fight goes on for several pages, stopping only so Hulk can rescue some civilians from the crossfire. Rick Jones catches up to them, reminding Hulk that he’s a hero, and that he’s human. The phrase “Hulk is Banner” is repeated between them. Hulk finally breaks through the Zon spell and punches Strange right in the face (!).
Hulk and the Warbound turn Madison Square Garden into their new headquarters. They’ve taken most of the superheroes hostage, including the FF, and affixed them with “obedience disks” to keep them from fighting back. Reed insists that Illuminati did not destroy Sakaar, but Hulk won’t listen. He makes Reed, Tony, Strange, and Black Bolt fight a bunch of monsters in his own gladiatorial pit, just like the ones he survived on Sakaar. Then he makes them fight each other.
Then we get a flashback to Sentry’s private conversation with Iron Man at the start of the story. Sentry admits he has agoraphobia, making it difficult to join the fight. Also, with the Hulk’s increased power levels, it could be disastrous if Senty were to lose control, even for a second. Tony insists that Sentry’s power is needed, saying, “It’s time to play god.” When the Hulk orders the deaths of the Illuminati, Senty sees it on TV. It’s at that point that he finally leaves his house and flies to New York, repeating, “It’s time to play god.”
Issue #5 begins with Hulk dialing back on the death penalty, not killing the four Illuminati after all. He says he will make sure the world knows the Illuminati are traitors and killers, and he threatens to raze NYC to the ground. Then the Sentry finally shows up, destroying the Warbound’s ship, and fighting the Hulk. Sentry unleashes the fullness of his power against the Hulk, leveling multiple city blocks. With the Warbound ship destroyed, Reed and Tony get back to work on hacking Earth’s satellites.
As they exchange blows, Hulk and Sentry debate whether they are saviors or destroyers. They eventually pummel each other so hard that Hulk transforms back to Bruce Banner and Sentry transforms back into Bob Reynolds. One of the Warbound tries to kill Banner, but Rick Jones jumps between them, taking the blow. This enrages Banner. He transforms back into the Hulk and this time he attacks the Warbound.
Then one of the Warbound, Miek, reveals the bomb that destroyed Sakaar was planted by him, in hopes that Hulk would not be king of Sakaar, but the prophesied “world breaker.” Even though the Illuminati did not destroy the planet, the Hulk still blames them. He argues that none of this would have happened if they hadn’t launched him into space. Then Iron Man succeeds in hacking the satellites, unleashing an unidentified red energy onto the Hulk. This succeeds in turning him back into Banner and knocking him unconscious. S.H.I.E.L.D. takes Banner into custody while the rest of the superheroes are left to reconcile with what’s happened. Far out in space, a musclebound green figure arises from among the remains of Sakaar…
Unstable molecule: Reed’s weapon might look like a big cannon, but it’s to make the Hulk think that Reed is the Sentry, so Hulk can talk some sense into the Hulk. It almost works, as Hulk is mesmerized at that moment.
Fade out: We’ve seen super-strong characters break through Sue’s force fields in the past, so it makes sense that a stronger-than-usual Hulk can do so. But it says a lot about how strong Sue is that she’s able to recover and call Sentry in the next scene.
Clobberin’ time: I’m so happy that this story took time to give Ben and Hulk a proper slugfest. We all knew Ben wouldn’t be the one to save the day, but the comic reminds us all how these two are great rivals.
Flame on: Johnny attacks the Hulk not just with his ultra-powerful nova flame, but his nova flame combined with the full might of Storm’s lightning. The Marvel Wiki alleges that Storm has been given “omega-level mutant” status, meaning her power is nearly limitless, so she and Johnny must have really hit the Hulk good.
Fantastic fifth wheel: It’s a continuity question as to how Black Panther and Storm are still with the FF at this point, when they left the team in issue #550. It looks to me like they announced they were leaving in #550, and then hung around for a bit to fight the Hulk, and then left for real.
She-Hulk is seen throughout, helping with the NYC evacuation and then fighting alongside the New Avengers. She’s quick to remind panicking New Yorkers that she’s a hulk, but not the Hulk. Luke Cage is also seen among the New Avengers, fighting the Warbound.
Medusa is alongside Black Bolt when the Hulk arrives on the moon. She survives, of course, and will be a major player in the Silent War miniseries.
Trivia time: The green mystery man at the end of the series is Skaar, son of Hulk and Caiera. He’ll soon arrive on Earth for much drama. Until then, though, Marvel sort of closed the book on the Hulk for a while. His series was renamed The Incredible Herc as Hercules took over.
How do Tony Stark’s satellites work, exactly? It’ll soon be revealed that they syphoned gamma radiation out of the Hulk’s body. This radiation will be used in the origin of the Red Hulk.
Rick Jones survived his injuries. He was sent to the original gamma base from way back in Incredible Hulk #1 to recover, and that’s where he too crossed paths with the Red Hulk.
Fantastic or frightful? It’s nice to see the Fantastic Four playing such a large role in World War Hulk. It forces Reed to face up to what he’s done as part of the Illuminati, a character thread that we’ll pick up in issue #551. But he’s also right in that the Illuminati didn’t destroy Sakaar, showing that he’s striving to be a good person and do what’s right. It’s odd to see Miek revealed as the villain, considering he’s comic relief in the Marvel movies. It feels like this might be the bigger conflict Civil War was building toward, except that the Initiative is barely referenced. Beyond that, World War Hulk is a great read, full of classic Marvel action and drama.
Next: Headshot.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.