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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. While the FF are more supporting characters in Secret Invasion, they got their own spinoff miniseries, which filled in gaps in the main series and brought back on of Marvel’s most notorious characters.

The Skrulls have secretly infiltrated the Earth, successfully posing as many of the superheroes. After Elektra was revealed to be a Skrull, they came out of hiding for an all-out attack on New York. This included a Skrull posing as Sue sneaking into the new Baxter Building and opening the door to the negative zone prison, seemingly destroying the top half of the building. Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four offers more detail on the hows and whys of this incident. This one’s written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who worked on Marvel Knights: 4, and the artwork is by the always-excellent Barry Kitson.

We begin with Sue in Vancouver, where she’s on a lecture tour. She calls home, where Johnny tells her Reed has run off with Hank Pym on a secret mission. Sue arrives at her hotel to find Reed there, surprising her for some surprise romance. Except this isn’t Reed. It’s a Skrull who subdues Sue with her own force field power.

The we get a longer version of the scene from Secret Invasion, where the Skrull Sue opens the portal. Ben gets Franklin and Valeria to safety while Johnny confronts Skrull Sue. She’s affectionate to him, asking him to forgive her. Then we see the apparent destruction of the New Baxter Building, except turn the page and it’s not destroyed. Instead, the top half of the building is now flying through the Negative Zone.

Ben protects the kids from an attack by giant bugs, while Johnny confronts Skrull Sue. She continues to be affectionate toward him, but he doesn’t buy it. He flames on and is ready for a fight. She tells him that Skrulls have infiltrated all the super-teams and are attacking New York, and she’s brought them to the Negative Zone to protect them. Johnny quizzes Sue on her favorite movie. When she doesn’t know it, she’s revealed as a Skrull. But not just any Skrull – it’s Lyja!

Okay, a quick refresher course on who Lyja is. She’s a Skrull agent sent to infiltrate the FF by impersonating Alicia and getting close to Ben. But then Ben stayed in space after Secret Wars, so Lyja switched things up by romancing Johnny. Somewhere along the way, her feelings for Johnny became real, and they married. But she maintained the Alicia illusion the whole time. Once her secret was revealed, she became an enemy of the FF for a while, then rejoined the team, then almost restarted her romance with Johnny. Her storyline (and several others) were left unfinished during Onslaught and Heroes Reborn, and she disappeared.

Issue #2 begins with a flashback to some (but not all) of Johnny’s past girlfriends. Then he and Lyja fight it out, flying out of the building and into Negative Zone space. She’s mad at him, accusing him of leaving her behind without a second’s thought. Johnny stays focused on the invasion, demanding to know what became of Reed and Sue. Then a police car comes flying at Lyja (through the portal, I assume) and Johnny pushes her out of the way to save her life. Their eyes meet, and they kiss.

Back inside the building, Ben fights more giant bugs and then confronts a big octopus-like alien. Franklin and Valeria help defeat the monster, co-piloting a mech suit Reed had built for them in case of emergency. Johnny and Lyja arrive, and everyone compares notes. None of them have the knowledge to repair Reed’s lab and get back to Earth. Franklin reminds them (and us) about the Negative Zone portal from Civil War. He says there’s got to be a supervillain in there with the smarts to fix the portal.

In issue #3, Ben, Johnny, Lyja, and the kids travel to the prison. Ben and the kids head inside, while Johnny and Lyja finally talk things out. Johnny reminds her (and us) that the last time he saw her, it was when she living as a human woman named Laura Green.

We then get a flashback to Lyja’s life as Laura, living in New York and working in a bookstore. She was happy for a while, until the Skrulls found her. They took her to Queen Veranke, who is now Empress Veranke, the Skrull impersonating Spider-Woman. Veranke convinced Lyja to rejoin the Skrulls’ cause. They restored her laser-fist powers and gave her a high-ranking ministerial post. But she’s not entirely loyal to the Skrulls. Her assignment was to kill Johnny and Ben, but she brought them to the Negative Zone to save them instead.

Inside the jail, Ben and the kids find the Tinkerer and ask for his help. He refuses, saying he’s safer in there from an alien invasion. He also tells them about how he was arrested by S.H.I.E.L.D. during Civil War while taking his grandkids out for ice cream. Franklin and Valeria appeal to his grandfatherly side, and he agrees to help.

Back at the Baxter Building, time passes while the Tinkerer gets to work. Lyja tells Johnny that she’s not going back, and that she will stay in the Negative Zone. She will make a new life for herself there, leaving the affairs of Earth and Skrulls behind. The Tinkerer gets everyone but Lyja back to Earth, but not the building itself. They stand atop the lower part of the wrecked building, looking out over New York in ruins. Ben promises the kids that they’ll find Reed and Sue, while Franklin muses about how nothing will ever be the same again.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed is only mentioned and not seen in these issues. Remember that during the main Secret Invasion series, he was ambushed by the Hank Pym Skrull and taken into space on one of their ships. 

Fade out: We’re not given any details on what Sue’s lecture tour. The audience is entirely women, so I wonder if it’s part of Miss America, her new charity-based all-female super-team.

Clobberin’ time: There’s a running gag about Ben learning to cook. First he’s making coq au vin for Johnny and the kids, and later he exclaims “Now we’re cooking!” while he fights the giant bugs. I looked it up, and coq au vin is a French stew with chicken braised in red wine.

Flame on: The flashbacks to Johnny’s past girlfriends reveal Johnny’s first kiss, a girl named Hannah Henrickson. There’s also cheerleaders (plural!) as his high school girlfriends. Poor Dorrie Evans doesn’t warrant a mention.

Four and a half: This would appear to be the only appearance of Franklin and Valeria’s co-piloted mech. The Marvel Wiki labels it “Reed’s battle suit,” but doesn’t give it its own entry.

Our gal Val: It seems that Aguirre-Sacasa didn’t get the news that Valeria is a genius, because all dialogue in this series is all toddler-speak. Maybe she’s putting on the toddler act for fear that aliens might be watching.

Fantastic fifth wheel: The flashbacks to Johnny’s past girlfriends also include Crystal, Frankie Raye a.k.a. Nova, and even Namorita.

And then there’s Lyja. While this would appear to be the long-overdue resolution to her storyline, she’ll be back once we get into the whole “Future Foundation” thing.

Trivia time: The two other villains seen inside the Negative Zone prison are Spider-Man’s foe Stegron, and the Faceless Man, a character from back in the Tomb of Dracula days.

Is the Skrull who defeats Sue in Vancouver supposed to be Lyja? He (she?) doesn’t act like it. My guess is this is the Skrull who appeared as the 1960s style Sue stepping out of the Skrull ship in Secret Invasion #1.

Fantastic or frightful? Look, the whole “Alicia is a Skrull” story was a debacle, and it is still disliked by fans all these years later. But it remains a part of Marvel history, and Lyja was part of this series on and off for a good hundred issues or more. So it’s nice to see the character be given some respect after all this time, and giving her a new direction.

Next: And that’s no Skrull.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech, strange creatures, and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first ten episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s finally time for Secret Invasion, which takes place between issues #565 and #566 of Fantastic Four. So let’s get all green and wrinkly-chinned for some serious Skrull action.

Gimmie a gimmick: If Secret Invasion is famous for anything, it’s all the covers! Marvel flooded its entire line with gimmick covers, in which famous Marvel art was redone with the characters as Skrulls. For months, you’d walk into the comic book store and see an entire wall of those green faces staring back at you.

The event began in New Avengers #31. This was during a big shakeup for the team. Elektra had taken over as new leader of the Hand, and now commanded her own army of ninjas. She and the Hand had the Avengers on the run, with a plot to brainwash the Avengers to do her bidding. Most of issue #31 is the Avengers battling ninjas inside a Japanese castle while Dr. Strange and Echo fight to overcome the brainwashing. Echo ultimately succeeds, and then she stabs Elektra through the chest as vengeance for Elektra doing the same to her a few issues earlier. The fight stops, and there are two pages of everyone reacting in shock. We finally reveal that Elektra was a Skrull the whole time! The issue ends as Iron Fist asks, “What does this mean?” and his question goes unanswered.

At the time, Marvel did a bang-up job of keeping this secret hidden from readers up to the day the comic hit stands, a Herculean task in the age of public solicits and internet spoilers. Just as Civil War benefitted from the internet by generating massive fan hype online, the phrase “Elektra is a Skrull” similarly got all the mid-2000s message boards buzzing. There were endless debates over who else might a Skrull. Secret Invasion followed quickly thereafter.

Secret Invasion issue #1 begins in paranoia mode as Tony Stark calls Reed Richards and Hank Pym for an autopsy on the Elektra Skrull, while fearing that either of them might also be a Skrull. S.W.O.R.D., which is space version of S.H.I.E.L.D., reports a Skrull ship headed for Earth, about to come down in the Savage Land. The Avengers assemble (of course) and fly to the Savage Land as well, even though the team is not in good standing with S.H.I.E.L.D. at this time.

At the Savage Land, the Avengers find the Skrull ship and debate whether to open it. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Dum Dum Dugan is revealed to be a Skrull, setting off a bomb in the S.W.O.R.D. satellite. And the Avengers’ butler Jarvis is a Skrull, unleashing a computer virus on Iron Man’s armor.

And it’s not just Iron Man. The virus runs rampant through all the Stark International buildings and tech, it downs a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, and it frees all the villains in super-prisons the Raft and the Cube. A Skrull impersonates Sue Richards to get into the New Baxter Building and free all the villains inside the Negative Zone prison, which is still a thing since Civil War. There’s an exterior shot of the Baxter Building getting absolutely wrecked by the Negative Zone portal.

Back in the Savage Land, Iron Man suffers a seizure due to his armor’s malfunction. Then the Skrull ship opens and a whole bunch of Marvel heroes come out, wearing their costumes from years earlier. They claim to be the real ones, taken off Earth some time ago, blaming the current Avengers for being the imposters.

In space, Agent Brand of S.W.O.R.D. survived the bomb in some kind of shield/bubble thingie, and she spots a huge fleet of alien warships flying past the moon toward Earth. At Avengers tower, Reed is still working on the autopsy when Hank Pym pulls a gun on him. Hank is really a Skrull, and the gun stretches out Reed to make him look like chewed gum or something.

Issue #2 begins with a little bit of the two Avengers teams accusing each other of being Skrulls, but it doesn’t last long before the big brawl starts. Captain Marvel flies Tony away to a nearby cave where he starts repair work on his armor. The heroes end up scattered in the jungle, encountering each other in small groups and not knowing who is really who. In Manhattan, the warships arrive overhead with the big portal also still overhead, and a bunch of Skrulls dressed up like Marvel heroes emerge onto the New York streets to trash the place.

Issue #3 is a lot of business as the Skrull Jarvis shows up at a Helicarrier demanding surrender, a Skrull Mar-Vell attacks Thunderbolt Mountain, and the young trainees of the Fifty States Initiative (remember them?) are told that training is over and it’s time to suit up. In New York, the Young Avengers fight the Skrulls. Hulkling, who is half-Skrull, tries to reason with the invaders, but to no avail. All the Initiative heroes then join the fight.

Spider-Woman finds Iron Man in his cave in the Savage Land. Here we learn she’s not just a Skrull, but the Skrull Empress! She tells Tony that he’s been a sleeper agent all along, that he’s not even aware he’s a Skrull. He refuses to believe her. In New York, it looks like the Skrulls are winning, until Nick Fury shows up with a brand-new team of modern-day Howling Commandoes that he’s been recruiting in secret. Fury says, “Let’s turn this thing around!”

Issue #4 has one page of a helpless Reed Richards being experimented on aboard one of the Skrull ships. The Skrulls narrate about how they infiltrate a world, replace everyone there by shape-changing, and continue living those people’s lives on the planet. Agent Brand manages to sneak aboard the ship, and she finds where they’re keeping Reed. Then it’s page after page of the fight in New York. The Skrulls maintain the advantage, because the superheroes cannot be certain whether their teammates are Skrulls.

In the Savage Land, we see some of the old-timey heroes revealed as Skrulls when Black Widow shoots and kills them (!). She attacks the Spider-Woman Skrull, who retreats and leaves Black Widow alone with Iron Man. Black Widow assures Iron Man that he’s not a Skrull, and that the Empress was just messing with him. Back in NYC, the battle gets more and more out of control, with civilians being endangered. There’s a bolt of lightning. Thor and Captain America appear in the sky overhead.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Issue #3 ends with Iron Man saying that he needs Reed Richards’ help to fight the Skrulls, not knowing they’ve already abducted Reed.

Fade out: Sue is one of the heroes emerging from the Skrull ship, wearing her 1960s-era uniform. It’s highly likely this is a Skrull. A Skrull successfully impersonates Sue all the way into the Baxter Building and the Negative Zone portal.

Flame on: By the time Johnny figures out that the Sue in the Baxter Building isn’t really her, he can’t act fast enough before she opens the portal.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: The kids are shown hanging out with Johnny just before the Negative Zone portal opens.

Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. Given that S.H.I.E.L.D. was caught unawares by the invasion, and Nick Fury enlisted the new Commandoes while he was deep in hiding, I doubt Sue had any advance knowledge of the Skrulls.

Trivia time: While all this was going on, Marvel used New Avengers to fill in the gaps to the main story. Issues #40 and #42 were the prequel explaining how the Skrulls got away with all this. Basically, they engineered a new version of a Super-Skrull that can mimic superhuman powers as well as appearance, and shape-shifting so finite it can fool the likes of even Dr. Strange and Professor X.   

Nick Fury’s new Howling Commandoes are Quake, Slingshot a.k.a. Yo-Yo, Phobos, Hellfire, Druid, and Stonewall. Yes, Quake is Daisy Johnson, the main character from the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series. The Initiative members, meanwhile, are Gauntlet, Sunstreak, Red 9, and Annex.

Fantastic or frightful? Rather than a sprawling crossover like a Civil War or Secret Wars II, Secret Invasion is pretty much a New Avengers story guest-starring other characters, like the Thunderbolts, Young Avengers, and Fantastic Four. It seems at odds with itself, in how the drama of not knowing who to trust keeps getting overshadowed by the big set pieces, particularly the New York fight. There’s some good stuff in these first four issues, but it’s uneven.

Next: And that’s no Skrull.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #565 concludes this wholesome family holiday story with a tentacle monster, because of course it does.

The FF have traveled to Scotland to spend Christmas with Reed’s never-before-seen cousin Hamish and his family. There are hints that something strange is going on in this small town. Then, on Christmas morning, little Valeria goes missing in the woods. This issue begins with the search for her, as local law enforcement work with the FF and Hamish to find her. Johnny and Ben comb the forest while everyone else does a townwide door-to-door sweep. Hamish blames himself for what happened, but Reed says the FF are magnets for stuff like this. “Wherever we go, the madness just follows,” he says.

Johnny deduces (how?) that someone or something grabbed Valeria and dragged her under the water of a lake. He dives into it and swims through a tunnel, emerging into a spooky underground tunnel. He finds Valeria there, unharmed. He asks who abducted her, and she says, “It’s right behind you.” Turn the page and we’re right into the fight, as giant tentacles attack Johnny and he blasts them with flame. They’re immune to fire, though, so he grabs Valeria and flies her out of there.

In town, the FF and the cops come to the home of Rhona, the woman who nervously tried to give Sue a warning last issue. She says she’s not allowed to talk. Sue turns Rhona’s front door invisible to reveal Rhona has a black eye. Before we can find out what that’s about, Johnny returns with Valeria, being pursued by the gigantic tentacle monster.

More fighting, with Ben throwing Rhona’s car at the monster. The creature is fireproof, but Johnny slows it down by melting the ground under it. Franklin then comes up with a plan. Using Valeria as bait (!) he gets the monster to follow him into the FF’s new TARDIS-style bigger-on-the-inside Fantasti-carrier, which is big enough to contain it. It only works for a few minutes, though, as the monster breaks through the carrier and keeps rampaging. Sue then says she’s going to hit the monster with the heaviest thing in town. Using her force fields, she drops the town church on the beast.

With the fight over, the townsfolk gather. One local says, “They killed Korgo!” and another says, “What do we do then?” A cop explains that the town has no crime, sickness, or death, and that’s not a coincidence. Hamish adds that Korgo protected the town for thousands of years, and all it needed was the sacrifice of an innocent child one Christmas morning every twenty-five years.

Hamish says Korgo wanted to take his son Hamish, but he somehow arranged for Valeria to be the sacrifice instead. Reed responds by stretching his hand into a huge fist and punching Hamish unconscious. Ben’s fiancé Debbie, who’s been hanging back during all this, says, “We are so going to my parents next year.”

Cut to months later, and we see a letter Rhona has written to Sue, revealing that the last child taken by Korgo was hers. She’s moved to another town, gotten married, and has a new baby on the way. She says this one’s going to be safe. There’s a bit of foreshadowing when Rhona says she’s sorry about what happened with Dr. Doom and with Ben’s fiancé. She ends by saying “Just remember that your friends are praying for you.”

Unstable molecule: In her letter, Rhona says she heard that Reed built a special “nature preserve” for Korgo, and that Korgo was originally from another planet. We’ll never know whether these things are true, because Korgo never appeared again.

Fade out: What to make of Sue turning Rhona’s front door invisible to peek in on her? It seems like an invasion of privacy, but she was also searching for her missing daughter, so I guess we can call this a heightened situation.

Clobberin’ time: It has no effect when Ben throws Rhona’s car at Korgo. Later, he throws a bus at Korgo after Korgo is defeated, just because Ben wanted to get in the final blow.

Flame on: Johnny is eerily quiet during the search for Valeria. Ben says there’s nothing in the world Johnny cares about more than his niece.

Four and a half: Franklin gets a fun action hero moment by coming up with a plan, and then using his new flying backpack to get Korgo to chase him.

Our gal Val: This issue makes the point that, despite Valeria’s genius, she’s still a child. When trapped in Korgo’s lair, all she can think to do is hide until the FF come to rescue her.

Trivia time: In addition to Korgo, Hamish and his family never appeared again. I wonder if Hamish really was Reed’s cousin, or if that was all a ruse on his and Korgo’s part.

This issue mentions the neighboring Scottish town of Coatbridge. This is a real locale. It’s the birthplace of writer Mark Millar, who penned this issue.

Fantastic or frightful? This two-issue arc has the sense of “business as usual” for the Fantastic Four, but in an ongoing series, we need side episodes like these to be immersed in this world. It’s an excuse to visit a new location and a have a monster fight, and that’s all it needs to be.

Next: No day at the beach.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s vacation time in issue #564, with a trip to another country and long-lost family.

Gimmie a gimmick: This cover is the famous Fantastic Four holiday painting that’s been often memed. It comes with a note from writer Mark Millar and artist Bryan Hitch apologizing for the imagine being (this is their word, not mine) “lame.” Now, THAT’S the edgelord humor Millar is famous for.

We begin in Scotland, 25 years ago, where a woman named Rhona is stopped on the road at night by a group of men. They tell her, “You can’t run away from Korgo,” and, “It isn’t you he’s after. It’s the wee man sleeping in your tummy.” Cut to the present, in the village of Iarmailt, Scotland, where the Fantastic Four arrive in a Fantasticar and its new TARDIS-like trailer. They’re greeted by Reed’s cousin Hamish Richards, his wife Muriel, and their young sun Angus.

The FF are there for their vacation, mentioned last issue. It’s stated that the two families haven’t seen each other since Reed and Sue’s wedding. Hamish adds that Reed is his only cousin. Then we learn it’s Christmastime (!) and the two families are reuniting to share the holiday. Ben has brought his fiancée, NYC schoolteacher Debbie Green. A passing neighbor meets the FF, and we learn that Hamish is the local minister.

Later, Ben and Debbis go for a walk through the farmland. (Do I dare suggest that these are the famous Highlands?) Johnny is a few days later in joining them because he had a TV appearance. Debbie says she doesn’t mind spending Christmas away from her family, because she considers Ben her family now. They pass some local cops in a cemetery, who are burying a dog recently hit by a car. The police explain that humans and pets share the same cemetery in this town. The cops say there is no crime in Iarmailt, and there’s never been an arrest.

Sue and Muriel have a similar conversation when strolling through the town square. Muriel says she’d been confined to a wheelchair due to multiple sclerosis, but can now walk up to three miles a day since she’s lived in Iarmailt. While Sue is alone for a moment, the woman Rhona runs up to her and says children are in danger. A local man shoos Rhona way and tells Sue the woman is just being eccentric.

On Christmas Eve, Ben wants to watch a football game, but the town has only one TV channel. Hamish says he likes not having a lot of electronics, and he doesn’t need to bother with things like email and cell phones. There’s a brief discussion about science versus religion. Reed says that although he’s devoted his life to science, faith can have its benefits. Hamish, while looking menacing, says, “It’s belief in our god that makes this town special.”

That night, Franklin and Valeria discuss whether Santa Claus knows they’re in Scotland. It appears as if the actual Santa shows up inside the house, but then we see it’s just Johnny wearing a Santa suit. Outside, mysterious figures watch the house. One asks, “Is the little girl appropriate?” and another answers, “Perfect.”

On Christmas morning, Franklin and Valeria are flying! They just got new flight jackets as Christmas presents, allowing them to go full Superman. Little Angus didn’t get a flight jacket, and got a Nintendo instead. (So much for not needing electronics.) Valeria and Franklin have a race to a large tree outside of town, with her managing the speed and maneuverability of the flight jackets better than Franklin can. Franklin lands in the woods, surrounded by tall trees. He looks around for Valeria, thinking she’s hiding. Turn the page and it’s evident that Val is now missing.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed jokes (or perhaps not?) that he invented two new types of helicopters during their visit to Scotland. He promises Sue he won’t file for patents until after the holidays.

Fade out: Sue comments about how the town seems untouched, as if from the distant past. Does this suggest she’s already figured out something weird is going on?

Clobberin’ time: The Scottish policemen have no reaction to a giant rock monster strolling through their quaint little village. One of them mentions New York, though, suggesting that he already knows who Ben is.

Flame on: The opening text page (still written as if it’s Valeria’s blog) states that Johnny’s girlfriend Psionics has left Earth for Nu Earth, and he’s bummed about losing her. Could this be the real reason why he was running late?

Fantastic fifth wheel: Reed says his father was devoutly religious, who raised him in a hardline church environment. This would seem to go against what we know about Nathaniel Richards, who became a battle-hardened time traveler. We’ve seen fleeting glimpses of Reed’s childhood, where Nathaniel encouraged Reed to pursue a life of science.

Four and a half: Valeria’s blog also states Franklin is struggling with Valeria being a genius. This is shown later, as he dislikes when she’s the one who takes the more “grown up” role on their race through the woods.

Our gal Val: Val says her age is two and a half, illustrating her genius by speaking in full paragraphs. But is there an accelerated growth thing happening too? Because she’s drawn at almost the same height as Franklin.

Trivia time: This is the first appearance and mention of Reed’s Scottish cousin Hamish and his family, who were at Reed and Sue’s wedding. I went back to the famous wedding issue and didn’t see anyone in the background that could be them.

Scotland is popular locale in Marvel Comics, especially in X-Men, where the Muir Isle headquarters is located. Wolfsbane of the New Mutants is from Scotland, as is the X-Men’s scientist friend Moira McTaggart. Most of the time, though, Marvel characters visit old-timey Scotland via time travel. (Marvel is the original Outlander.) In the Marvel Universe, Loch Ness contains a hidden tunnel to the Atlantic Ocean, often used by Atlanteans. The Marvel wiki alleges that Conan the Barbarian-related characters King Kull and Bran Mak Morn also originated in ancient Scotland, and that they are tied in with Atlantis somehow. Not sure how that works.

From what I can tell, the town of Iarmailt is fictional. The comic alleges that “iarmailt” is a Scots word meaning “heaven.”

Fantastic or frightful? All that stuff about Nu Earth, the New Defenders, and Dr. Doom’s “master” gets put on hold for a Christmas and/or weirdness-in-a-small-town story. These new characters are a mild continuity headache as well. But there’s some fun character work here, and some spooky stuff too.

Next: Love, craft.

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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #563 is all about the Thing getting engaged, along with naughty cosplayers and a looming otherworldly threat.

We begin with a very suggestive image of Johnny getting romantic with Storm and the Scarlet Witch. Turn the page and no, it’s not really them. Johnny explains to one of the guys in his band that they’re two cosplayers he met at a club the night before. The band guy informs Johnny that Ben had gotten engaged to schoolteacher Debbie Green. Johnny says, “This is the biggest thing ever,” and he leaps out the window to flame on and fly off.

The paparazzi are all outside the new Baxter Building, hoping for a shot of Ben and Debbie. Inside, Reed, Sue and the kids are congratulating the couple. Johnny arrives and learns the wedding is set for only six weeks. Back outside, the paparazzi speculate about who Debbie is. Then her slimy ex-boyfriend Jason shows up, promising to tell them everything about her.

In Reed’s lab, he’s on a call with Iron Man. Reed informs Tony about his talk with Dr. Doom last issue. Doom warned Reed of his “masters,” the ones who made him who he is. Reed is planning another family vacation, and Tony says he’ll keep an eye on Doom while they’re gone. On the roof of the Baxter Building, Ben receives a gigantic statue from Wakanda as an engagement gift. Reed tells him that he and Debbie are both invited on the vacation.

Later, Sue is with Debbie and the kids at Madison Square Park. Debbie is concerned about being famous. Sue says she’s used to a family with superpowers, but Debbie must consider her perfectly ordinary family and friends. Sue cautions Debbie about walking away from her old life, but she also says this is the happiest Ben has been in a long time.

Cut to “one dimension away,” in the alternate universe New York from last issue. The place is wrecked, with rubble and dead bodies all around. The mystery man seen last issue confront this universe’s Reed, telling him all his teammates are dead. He says, “You live. We kill. It’s just the way things are.” The alt-universe Human Torch, named Jack Richards, flames on and flies high up into the sky. He builds up momentum for one last attack, but the mystery man stops him merely by holding up a hand.

The mystery man’s travelling companion asks if their work is done. The mystery man says there’s only one left to kill. There’s a huge explosion, and then it’s over. The mystery man says it’s time to visit their favorite pupil, Victor Von Doom, now that twenty years have passed. “This should be interesting,” he says.

Cut to Dr. Doom’s jail cell inside the Hague, guards wonder why Doom is smiling. A closeup on his mask, and it actually does look like he’s smiling! Doom responds, “You’ll see.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says he owes the family another vacation after the last one ended badly. This is in reference to the time travel craziness we saw at the start of issue #554.

Fade out: There’s a strangely dark moment where Debbie says even super-villains wouldn’t attack a school, and Sue tells her, “I think you’re being naïve.”

Clobberin’ time: Ben says the giant Wakandan statue is a gift from Black Panther. It’s a fertility idol (!) which promises six healthy sons in the future. Ben says he wouldn’t mind sextuplets.

Flame on: Johnny uses his flame to sky-write “Congratulations Ben and Debbie” overhead. Ben jokes that he’s doing this to save money on a card.

Fantastic fifth wheel: We get another glimpse of the Doombots that were reprogrammed with the remains of H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot to be the FF’s household staff. Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot.

One of the paparazzi asks whether Debbie is the girlfriend of Ben’s who used to be Ms. Marvel. I assume he’s referring to Sharon Ventura.

Four and a half: Franklin is present throughout this issue to establish he’s with the family, but he doesn’t say or do much.

Our gal Val: Valeria has a blog! The issue’s opening recap page is set up to look like her blog site, where she’s writing about what the FF are up to. She’s also letting the whole world know she’s a super-genius now.

Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. In this issue, she talks to Debbie about always having to be disguised when she goes out in public. Could this be her spy training at work?

Trivia time: One of the paparazzi is a Daily Bugle photographer named Harry. The Marvel Wiki insists that this is not the same Bugle employee named Harry who was abducted by Dr. Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man annual #15.

Fantastic or frightful? I do enjoy these slice-of-life issues, even though a lot of this is obviously setting up big things to come. The lighter plot means the comic can do things like spend two pages on Johnny jumping out a window and flying off for a nice cinematic moment. It’s unfortunate that we only hear about Debbie being overwhelmed by her new life rather than seeing this play out from her point of view. Other than that, Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch continue to impress.

Next: The Scots word of the day.

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