Tim Burton rewatch! Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2016) seems like a perfect property for Burton to adapt, but it came and went with little fanfare. How does it hold up?
Here’s what happens: After the death of his grandfather, troubled teen Jake visits the childhood home where grandpa grew up. There, he finds a group of magically super-powered children living in a time loop repeating the same day from 1943 over and over, while cared after by a woman who can transform into a falcon. (Got all that?) Why are they in a time loop? It’s to protect the kids from an even greater supernatural force hunting them. Can Jake save his new friends, or has he brought doom upon them?
Origin story: It all began with author Ransom Riggs collecting weird-looking antique photographs, and writing a fictional story based on them. The book, with the photos included, was a smash hit when published in 2011, and movie talks began right away.
Outsider theory: Jake is certainly an outsider, but I believe he’s first where it’s explicitly said he has mental health issues. There’s a mechanic where he can leave the time loop whenever he wants to go back to his own year, but he never seems in a hurry to do so.
Reality breaks through: Jake does return to the present a few times to check in with his dad, who is rightfully distraught about how Jake keeps disappearing for days at a time.
Best bits: Barron: “Eventually, you’re going to run out of breath. And then it’ll be over. Death for your beloved Jake and Miss Peregrine. Everlasting life for me… and a mint for you.”
Thoughts upon this viewing: This should be a no-brainer – make a movie that looks like the book’s bizarre photos. Why, then, does the movie not do that? Everything’s all bright with carnival colors, when it should be old-timey gothic stuff. I’ll admit, however, that I enjoyed this viewing more than previous ones. There are individual moments when the movie gets interesting, such as exploring a sunken ship underwater or the children all donning gas masks to celebrate the time loop resetting.
Next: The producers.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #565 concludes this wholesome family holiday story with a tentacle monster, because of course it does.
The FF have traveled to Scotland to spend Christmas with Reed’s never-before-seen cousin Hamish and his family. There are hints that something strange is going on in this small town. Then, on Christmas morning, little Valeria goes missing in the woods. This issue begins with the search for her, as local law enforcement work with the FF and Hamish to find her. Johnny and Ben comb the forest while everyone else does a townwide door-to-door sweep. Hamish blames himself for what happened, but Reed says the FF are magnets for stuff like this. “Wherever we go, the madness just follows,” he says.
Johnny deduces (how?) that someone or something grabbed Valeria and dragged her under the water of a lake. He dives into it and swims through a tunnel, emerging into a spooky underground tunnel. He finds Valeria there, unharmed. He asks who abducted her, and she says, “It’s right behind you.” Turn the page and we’re right into the fight, as giant tentacles attack Johnny and he blasts them with flame. They’re immune to fire, though, so he grabs Valeria and flies her out of there.
In town, the FF and the cops come to the home of Rhona, the woman who nervously tried to give Sue a warning last issue. She says she’s not allowed to talk. Sue turns Rhona’s front door invisible to reveal Rhona has a black eye. Before we can find out what that’s about, Johnny returns with Valeria, being pursued by the gigantic tentacle monster.
More fighting, with Ben throwing Rhona’s car at the monster. The creature is fireproof, but Johnny slows it down by melting the ground under it. Franklin then comes up with a plan. Using Valeria as bait (!) he gets the monster to follow him into the FF’s new TARDIS-style bigger-on-the-inside Fantasti-carrier, which is big enough to contain it. It only works for a few minutes, though, as the monster breaks through the carrier and keeps rampaging. Sue then says she’s going to hit the monster with the heaviest thing in town. Using her force fields, she drops the town church on the beast.
With the fight over, the townsfolk gather. One local says, “They killed Korgo!” and another says, “What do we do then?” A cop explains that the town has no crime, sickness, or death, and that’s not a coincidence. Hamish adds that Korgo protected the town for thousands of years, and all it needed was the sacrifice of an innocent child one Christmas morning every twenty-five years.
Hamish says Korgo wanted to take his son Hamish, but he somehow arranged for Valeria to be the sacrifice instead. Reed responds by stretching his hand into a huge fist and punching Hamish unconscious. Ben’s fiancé Debbie, who’s been hanging back during all this, says, “We are so going to my parents next year.”
Cut to months later, and we see a letter Rhona has written to Sue, revealing that the last child taken by Korgo was hers. She’s moved to another town, gotten married, and has a new baby on the way. She says this one’s going to be safe. There’s a bit of foreshadowing when Rhona says she’s sorry about what happened with Dr. Doom and with Ben’s fiancé. She ends by saying “Just remember that your friends are praying for you.”
Unstable molecule: In her letter, Rhona says she heard that Reed built a special “nature preserve” for Korgo, and that Korgo was originally from another planet. We’ll never know whether these things are true, because Korgo never appeared again.
Fade out: What to make of Sue turning Rhona’s front door invisible to peek in on her? It seems like an invasion of privacy, but she was also searching for her missing daughter, so I guess we can call this a heightened situation.
Clobberin’ time: It has no effect when Ben throws Rhona’s car at Korgo. Later, he throws a bus at Korgo after Korgo is defeated, just because Ben wanted to get in the final blow.
Flame on: Johnny is eerily quiet during the search for Valeria. Ben says there’s nothing in the world Johnny cares about more than his niece.
Four and a half: Franklin gets a fun action hero moment by coming up with a plan, and then using his new flying backpack to get Korgo to chase him.
Our gal Val: This issue makes the point that, despite Valeria’s genius, she’s still a child. When trapped in Korgo’s lair, all she can think to do is hide until the FF come to rescue her.
Trivia time: In addition to Korgo, Hamish and his family never appeared again. I wonder if Hamish really was Reed’s cousin, or if that was all a ruse on his and Korgo’s part.
This issue mentions the neighboring Scottish town of Coatbridge. This is a real locale. It’s the birthplace of writer Mark Millar, who penned this issue.
Fantastic or frightful? This two-issue arc has the sense of “business as usual” for the Fantastic Four, but in an ongoing series, we need side episodes like these to be immersed in this world. It’s an excuse to visit a new location and a have a monster fight, and that’s all it needs to be.
Next: No day at the beach.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! Yes, I know Burton only produced Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) and didn’t direct. But just as the produced-not-directed Nightmare Before Christmas reflected on Burton’s filmography, I feel Looking Class reflects it as well – but in a different way.
Here’s what happens: Alice is now a seasoned adventurer, running her father’s shipping company while battling pirates. But former suitor Hamish returns, threating to take over the business and reduce Alice to an office clerk. Then Wonderland comes calling, with a new quest for Alice. Now there’s time travel, courtesy of Time himself, with Alice going back to discover the secrets of Wonderland’s past.
Origin story: If Burton’s not in the chair, who is director James Bobin? He’s no slouch when it comes to weird and quirky media. He co-created two cult TV favorites, The Ali G Show and Flight of the Conchords, and he got Muppet-y with his first two films, The Muppets (2011), and Muppets Most Wanted (2014). After Alice, he directed the equally weird Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019).
Outsider theory: The time travel mechanic makes this sequel a stealth prequel. The Red Queen is also back, and we get her origin story. She’s sympathetic now, as we see her evil ways were born of her feeling isolated and different from others.
Reality breaks through: At the movie’s midpoint, when Alice is at a low point and all seems lost, she leaves Wonderland and returns to Earth for a bit, where we catch up on the frame story. It’s nice to see the filmmakers tying the two storylines together in a more cohesive way.
Best bits: Red Queen: “Alice, you always were an irksome, slurvish, interrupting thing!”
Thoughts on this viewing: What makes this movie interesting is its consistency. Yes, it’s all green-screen CGI, but with a consistent visual look throughout, so this feels like a singular world. Making the first movie an Alice-based action movie was awkward, but now that has been established, this movie can take the action-adventure tone and run with it in way the first cannot. It’s not perfect – a little too long, and Johnny Depp looks utterly lost under all that makeup – but this is the big, bold fantasy film that the 2010 Alice wanted to be but wasn’t.
Next: Held for Ransom.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s vacation time in issue #564, with a trip to another country and long-lost family.
Gimmie a gimmick: This cover is the famous Fantastic Four holiday painting that’s been often memed. It comes with a note from writer Mark Millar and artist Bryan Hitch apologizing for the imagine being (this is their word, not mine) “lame.” Now, THAT’S the edgelord humor Millar is famous for.
We begin in Scotland, 25 years ago, where a woman named Rhona is stopped on the road at night by a group of men. They tell her, “You can’t run away from Korgo,” and, “It isn’t you he’s after. It’s the wee man sleeping in your tummy.” Cut to the present, in the village of Iarmailt, Scotland, where the Fantastic Four arrive in a Fantasticar and its new TARDIS-like trailer. They’re greeted by Reed’s cousin Hamish Richards, his wife Muriel, and their young sun Angus.
The FF are there for their vacation, mentioned last issue. It’s stated that the two families haven’t seen each other since Reed and Sue’s wedding. Hamish adds that Reed is his only cousin. Then we learn it’s Christmastime (!) and the two families are reuniting to share the holiday. Ben has brought his fiancée, NYC schoolteacher Debbie Green. A passing neighbor meets the FF, and we learn that Hamish is the local minister.
Later, Ben and Debbis go for a walk through the farmland. (Do I dare suggest that these are the famous Highlands?) Johnny is a few days later in joining them because he had a TV appearance. Debbie says she doesn’t mind spending Christmas away from her family, because she considers Ben her family now. They pass some local cops in a cemetery, who are burying a dog recently hit by a car. The police explain that humans and pets share the same cemetery in this town. The cops say there is no crime in Iarmailt, and there’s never been an arrest.
Sue and Muriel have a similar conversation when strolling through the town square. Muriel says she’d been confined to a wheelchair due to multiple sclerosis, but can now walk up to three miles a day since she’s lived in Iarmailt. While Sue is alone for a moment, the woman Rhona runs up to her and says children are in danger. A local man shoos Rhona way and tells Sue the woman is just being eccentric.
On Christmas Eve, Ben wants to watch a football game, but the town has only one TV channel. Hamish says he likes not having a lot of electronics, and he doesn’t need to bother with things like email and cell phones. There’s a brief discussion about science versus religion. Reed says that although he’s devoted his life to science, faith can have its benefits. Hamish, while looking menacing, says, “It’s belief in our god that makes this town special.”
That night, Franklin and Valeria discuss whether Santa Claus knows they’re in Scotland. It appears as if the actual Santa shows up inside the house, but then we see it’s just Johnny wearing a Santa suit. Outside, mysterious figures watch the house. One asks, “Is the little girl appropriate?” and another answers, “Perfect.”
On Christmas morning, Franklin and Valeria are flying! They just got new flight jackets as Christmas presents, allowing them to go full Superman. Little Angus didn’t get a flight jacket, and got a Nintendo instead. (So much for not needing electronics.) Valeria and Franklin have a race to a large tree outside of town, with her managing the speed and maneuverability of the flight jackets better than Franklin can. Franklin lands in the woods, surrounded by tall trees. He looks around for Valeria, thinking she’s hiding. Turn the page and it’s evident that Val is now missing.
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: Reed jokes (or perhaps not?) that he invented two new types of helicopters during their visit to Scotland. He promises Sue he won’t file for patents until after the holidays.
Fade out: Sue comments about how the town seems untouched, as if from the distant past. Does this suggest she’s already figured out something weird is going on?
Clobberin’ time: The Scottish policemen have no reaction to a giant rock monster strolling through their quaint little village. One of them mentions New York, though, suggesting that he already knows who Ben is.
Flame on: The opening text page (still written as if it’s Valeria’s blog) states that Johnny’s girlfriend Psionics has left Earth for Nu Earth, and he’s bummed about losing her. Could this be the real reason why he was running late?
Fantastic fifth wheel: Reed says his father was devoutly religious, who raised him in a hardline church environment. This would seem to go against what we know about Nathaniel Richards, who became a battle-hardened time traveler. We’ve seen fleeting glimpses of Reed’s childhood, where Nathaniel encouraged Reed to pursue a life of science.
Four and a half: Valeria’s blog also states Franklin is struggling with Valeria being a genius. This is shown later, as he dislikes when she’s the one who takes the more “grown up” role on their race through the woods.
Our gal Val: Val says her age is two and a half, illustrating her genius by speaking in full paragraphs. But is there an accelerated growth thing happening too? Because she’s drawn at almost the same height as Franklin.
Trivia time: This is the first appearance and mention of Reed’s Scottish cousin Hamish and his family, who were at Reed and Sue’s wedding. I went back to the famous wedding issue and didn’t see anyone in the background that could be them.
Scotland is popular locale in Marvel Comics, especially in X-Men, where the Muir Isle headquarters is located. Wolfsbane of the New Mutants is from Scotland, as is the X-Men’s scientist friend Moira McTaggart. Most of the time, though, Marvel characters visit old-timey Scotland via time travel. (Marvel is the original Outlander.) In the Marvel Universe, Loch Ness contains a hidden tunnel to the Atlantic Ocean, often used by Atlanteans. The Marvel wiki alleges that Conan the Barbarian-related characters King Kull and Bran Mak Morn also originated in ancient Scotland, and that they are tied in with Atlantis somehow. Not sure how that works.
From what I can tell, the town of Iarmailt is fictional. The comic alleges that “iarmailt” is a Scots word meaning “heaven.”
Fantastic or frightful? All that stuff about Nu Earth, the New Defenders, and Dr. Doom’s “master” gets put on hold for a Christmas and/or weirdness-in-a-small-town story. These new characters are a mild continuity headache as well. But there’s some fun character work here, and some spooky stuff too.
Next: Love, craft.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! Are the eyes truly the windows of the soul? Where is the line of honesty versus deception in art and inspiration? These are big questions for Big Eyes (2014).
Here’s what happens: No one is quite sure what to make of Margaret Keane’s paintings of unusually big-eyed children, but everyone is inexplicably drawn to them. It’s a man’s world in the 1950s, however, so her husband Walter takes credit for the paintings. After years of this, Margaret finally takes a stand.
Origin story: Based on a true story. While the movie takes shortcuts like all biopics do, it tells the story of Margaret Keane’s rocky marriage and the fight for her art. She continued being a successful artist for decades after the events of this movie, established as a well-known yet occasionally controversial figure in the California art scene. She died in 2022.
Outsider theory: A woman of few words, Margaret Keane remains unknowable. This is likely what appealed to Burton, the tale of a quiet person whose artwork is often looked on as outlandish by others.
Reality breaks through: In this case the fantasy world is Margaret’s life with Walter, and him growing famous and wealthy from her work. The real world breaks through the fantasy when she finally speaks up and takes control of her life.
Best bits: Reporter Dick Nolan: “You know what pissed me off? Margaret gave the scoop to some button-pushing Big Lolo, instead of a respected journalist like myself.”
Thoughts on this viewing: Many critics over the years have chided this movie for not doing more with the climactic trial that ends the movie, arguing that the whole thing should be a quirky courtroom drama. My counterargument is that Burton and co. aren’t interested in the trial so much as they are in Margaret living with a lie for years on end. That’s the story being told. It’s a simple one, but it’s well told. After the bombast of Alice and Dark Shadows, it’s refreshing to see Burton doing more character-focused work again.
Next: Held for Ransom.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #563 is all about the Thing getting engaged, along with naughty cosplayers and a looming otherworldly threat.
We begin with a very suggestive image of Johnny getting romantic with Storm and the Scarlet Witch. Turn the page and no, it’s not really them. Johnny explains to one of the guys in his band that they’re two cosplayers he met at a club the night before. The band guy informs Johnny that Ben had gotten engaged to schoolteacher Debbie Green. Johnny says, “This is the biggest thing ever,” and he leaps out the window to flame on and fly off.
The paparazzi are all outside the new Baxter Building, hoping for a shot of Ben and Debbie. Inside, Reed, Sue and the kids are congratulating the couple. Johnny arrives and learns the wedding is set for only six weeks. Back outside, the paparazzi speculate about who Debbie is. Then her slimy ex-boyfriend Jason shows up, promising to tell them everything about her.
In Reed’s lab, he’s on a call with Iron Man. Reed informs Tony about his talk with Dr. Doom last issue. Doom warned Reed of his “masters,” the ones who made him who he is. Reed is planning another family vacation, and Tony says he’ll keep an eye on Doom while they’re gone. On the roof of the Baxter Building, Ben receives a gigantic statue from Wakanda as an engagement gift. Reed tells him that he and Debbie are both invited on the vacation.
Later, Sue is with Debbie and the kids at Madison Square Park. Debbie is concerned about being famous. Sue says she’s used to a family with superpowers, but Debbie must consider her perfectly ordinary family and friends. Sue cautions Debbie about walking away from her old life, but she also says this is the happiest Ben has been in a long time.
Cut to “one dimension away,” in the alternate universe New York from last issue. The place is wrecked, with rubble and dead bodies all around. The mystery man seen last issue confront this universe’s Reed, telling him all his teammates are dead. He says, “You live. We kill. It’s just the way things are.” The alt-universe Human Torch, named Jack Richards, flames on and flies high up into the sky. He builds up momentum for one last attack, but the mystery man stops him merely by holding up a hand.
The mystery man’s travelling companion asks if their work is done. The mystery man says there’s only one left to kill. There’s a huge explosion, and then it’s over. The mystery man says it’s time to visit their favorite pupil, Victor Von Doom, now that twenty years have passed. “This should be interesting,” he says.
Cut to Dr. Doom’s jail cell inside the Hague, guards wonder why Doom is smiling. A closeup on his mask, and it actually does look like he’s smiling! Doom responds, “You’ll see.”
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: Reed says he owes the family another vacation after the last one ended badly. This is in reference to the time travel craziness we saw at the start of issue #554.
Fade out: There’s a strangely dark moment where Debbie says even super-villains wouldn’t attack a school, and Sue tells her, “I think you’re being naïve.”
Clobberin’ time: Ben says the giant Wakandan statue is a gift from Black Panther. It’s a fertility idol (!) which promises six healthy sons in the future. Ben says he wouldn’t mind sextuplets.
Flame on: Johnny uses his flame to sky-write “Congratulations Ben and Debbie” overhead. Ben jokes that he’s doing this to save money on a card.
Fantastic fifth wheel: We get another glimpse of the Doombots that were reprogrammed with the remains of H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot to be the FF’s household staff. Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot.
One of the paparazzi asks whether Debbie is the girlfriend of Ben’s who used to be Ms. Marvel. I assume he’s referring to Sharon Ventura.
Four and a half: Franklin is present throughout this issue to establish he’s with the family, but he doesn’t say or do much.
Our gal Val: Valeria has a blog! The issue’s opening recap page is set up to look like her blog site, where she’s writing about what the FF are up to. She’s also letting the whole world know she’s a super-genius now.
Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. In this issue, she talks to Debbie about always having to be disguised when she goes out in public. Could this be her spy training at work?
Trivia time: One of the paparazzi is a Daily Bugle photographer named Harry. The Marvel Wiki insists that this is not the same Bugle employee named Harry who was abducted by Dr. Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man annual #15.
Fantastic or frightful? I do enjoy these slice-of-life issues, even though a lot of this is obviously setting up big things to come. The lighter plot means the comic can do things like spend two pages on Johnny jumping out a window and flying off for a nice cinematic moment. It’s unfortunate that we only hear about Debbie being overwhelmed by her new life rather than seeing this play out from her point of view. Other than that, Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch continue to impress.
Next: The Scots word of the day.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! Burton goes back to his roots, but in story and in style, with 2012’s remake of his own Frankenweenie.
Here’s what happens: After young Victor’s beloved dog Sparky dies in an accident, Victor revives his pet using mad science he learned in school. Once his secret gets out, all the other kids in the neighborhood apply mad science to their own pets, resulting in chaos at the annual town carnival.
Origin story: Burton’s 1984 Disney-produced short film Frankenweenie was a real calling card for him at the start of his career, as tapes of it were spread around town to develop something of a cult following. Allegedly, Burton wanted to do a feature-length version for years, with multiple scripts in and out of development. Sometime around 2009, he signed a deal with Disney for two 3-D films. The first was Alice in Wonderland, and the second was the new Frankenweenie.
Outsider theory: This movie takes the outsider concept and reverses it. Victor and his dog are the only normal ones in a town full of weirdos, creeps, and just plain jerks.
Reality breaks through: Victor tries to keep Sparky a secret from everyone. Once the secret is out among Victor’s classmates, things spiral out of control. Again, the outsider concept is reversed, where all the weird, zany characters break through into Victor’s quiet home life.
Best bits: Science teacher: “Ladies and gentlemen, I think the confusion here is that you are all very ignorant. Is that the right word? I meant stupid.”
Thoughts on this viewing: This is really two movies. The first half is a boy-and-his-dog tale with a supernatural twist. The second is a monsters-invade-a-small-town movie, like Them!, The Blob, or even Gremlins. Some viewers prefer the calmer first, while others dig the crazier second. I’m in the latter camp, as the monster gags in the movie’s finale give it its own identity beyond remaking the original short.
Next: It’s a movement.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. We go from a funeral to a jail to… a wedding proposal? No, this isn’t a ‘90s Hugh Grant romcom, it’s issue #562.
Most of this issue is dealing with fallout from the previous storyline, so here’s the recap: Reed’s ex-girlfriend Alyssa Moy and her new husband Ted Castle constructed Nu World, a recreation of Earth in another dimension. Meanwhile, the New Defenders arrived from a disaster-ridden future with a plan to relocate millions of future refugees to the present. After much fighting and conflict, it was decided to relocate the refugees to Nu World. Also, little Valeria Richards was revealed to be a super-genius just like her dad.
We begin with Sue saying, “Thanks for coming to my funeral, everyone.” This is actually the funeral for future Susan Richards, who was leader of the New Defenders. A whole bunch of Marvel heroes have turned out for the event, including the Watcher. The New Defenders are also there, now allied with the FF. Sue gives her own eulogy, praising her future self for fighting to save the future.
Johnny reconciles with his Psionics of the New Defenders. They were dating before the big fight began. He says he understands why she did what she did. She invites him to visit her on Nu World, and he says that after his new band is done touring, he’ll definitely be there. The New Defenders thank the FF again for Nu World, and Reed says Alyssa is the one they should thank. Alyssa says giving Nu World to the refugees hasn’t made her popular, but she’s glad she did it.
Later, at the new Baxter Building, Reed and Valeria have a chat. We’re skipping over how and when he learned she’s a super-genius. Instead, he tells her about how he’s attending a hearing about Dr. Doom to plead against execution, despite everything Doom has done. Valeria shows Reed a new trailer she’s invented for the Fantasticar, which, like a T.A.R.D.I.S., has a bigger-on-the-inside two-story living space within it. She then admits that Franklin has been acting differently know that her secret is out. Reed says the family dynamic is in flux, and to give Franklin time.
Later, Reed visits the Hague, where Army goons let him in where Dr. Doom is being kept in a high-tech cell. Remember that Doom murdered future Sue as revenge for the New Defenders abducting him. Doom makes a remark about sending flowers to the funeral, and then asks if Reed is there to gloat. Reed says he will defend anyone’s life, even Doom’s. Doom says Reed is weak because Doom will always make the final blow. Then there’s some confusion over why he was arrested, not necessarily for the death of future Sue, but general crimes against humanity.
Doom further adds that he has powerful friends who are working on getting him released. He says this includes his “master,” whom he describes as “the first super-villain” who taught him everything he knows. Doom says his master is getting closer and closer, with big plans for the future of humanity. He concludes with a threat, “I wonder if that wife of yours can die twice, eh?”
Later, Ben and his new girlfriend Debbie Green are enjoying a romantic flight over NYC in a Fantasticar. They pass by Avengerse Tower (rebuilt after World War Hulk, apparently), they see a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, and even Spider-Man swings by. She talks about how outrageous his life is compared to hers. She adds that she hasn’t seen her ex-boyfriend Jason in six months (we readers know that isn’t true, as he’s been following her).
He jokes about whether she’s a Skrull or some other villain in disguise, and she assures him she’s just an ordinary girl from Brooklyn. He says he’s glad for that, because it’s been a long time since he’d met someone like her. He then hands her a ring and asks, “What’s it gonna be?”
Then we cut to “New York City, one dimension away,” which looks just like our New York. The captions repeat Doom’s dialogue from earlier about his master while blue electricity crackles around the city. Two figures appear in the shadows. One asks if they should start with people or insects this time. Turn the page for an extreme close-up of gross mouth with nasty teeth, answering, “People.”
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: Reed tells Valeria that he plans to defend Doom in court against execution, because every life is precious. But he tells Doom that, in place of execution, he will argue to keep Doom in prison for “a long, long time.”
Fade out: After the funeral, Sue has a moment with Alex Ultron of the New Defenders. He tells her that although they haven’t technically met, she was the biggest influence on his life. She responds, “That means a lot.”
Clobberin’ time: Ben has had quite a few girlfriends since he and Alicia amicably separated (more than 300 issues ago, remember), so why does Debbie get the engagement ring? This issue suggests it’s because of her normalcy, and how she’s not wrapped up in any superhero business.
Flame on: The funeral concludes in dramatic fashion as Johnny flies up and creates the “4” symbol in the sky with his flame.
Fantastic fifth wheel: Alternate fifth members of the team seen at funeral are She-Hulk, Luke Cage, Storm, and Black Panther.
There was a meme going around Fantastic Four fandom this week with a so-called definitive list of the FF’s alternate fifth members. It’s a good list, including a lot of the ones that people forget, like Tigra and Kristoff. But it also includes Iceman as an official team member, based on his appearances in issues #28 and #36. I went back and re-read those issues, and it looks to me like Iceman is only there in the context of being part of the X-Men. He doesn’t show up Fantastic Four again until Reed and Sue’s engagement party and wedding, and not after that until the Fall of the Mutants crossover. As for any fifth members I would add to the meme list, the only one I can think of is Bounty, the intergalactic bounty hunter who ran with the team vol. 3 issues #14-23.
Four and a half: While Reed and Valeria discuss Franklin’s reaction to her genius, the comic shows a very sad Franklin playing with a Fantasticar toy and looking over his Christmas list for Santa. The list includes “Super-powers like the rest of my family.”
Our gal Val: Valeria’s newly built Fantasticar trailer being like a T.A.R.D.I.S. is no coincidence. She says she got the idea by watching Doctor Who. She specifies it was on the Sci-Fi Channel, which only showed the ninth and tenth Doctors.
Trivia time: Can we sort out the chronology of Dr. Doom during this time? He was arrested for crimes against humanity in Mighty Avengers #11. He was locked up in the Raft, which is where the New Defenders abducted him, minus a side visit to the Baxter Building, in Fantastic Four #558. Now he’s locked up again, this time at the Hague. Is that it? I think that’s it.
Wolverine is at the funeral, and he and the Hooded Man give each other menacing stares. Remember that the Hooded Man is Wolverine from the future.
The big guy at the funeral with the big skull on his chest is not the Punisher. That’s Ares, the god of war, who had recently joined the Avengers. Also, Spider-Woman at the funeral is not really Spider-Woman but a Skrull in disguise, so the series still hasn’t caught up to Secret Invasion.
Fantastic or frightful? A classic “in between” episode that follows up on the previous storyline and setting up the next. It’s maybe a little incredulous that this funeral gets all this attention, unless the world at large is aware of Nu World and saving all the refugees. But there are a lot of nice character moments, and the characters are what makes Marvel stand out.
Next: Smile time.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Tim Burton rewatch! The most cult-ish of all cult TV shows gets the Burton remake treatment in 2012’s Dark Shadows. Does it have… bite?
Here’s what happens: It’s the 1970s. Victoria Winters has arrived to be governess for the formerly wealthy Collins family during an unusually busy time for them. Ancestor Barnabas Collins is a centuries-old vampire recently risen from the grave with a mission to return the family business to its former glory. Barnabas and Victoria’s romance is complicated by the witch Angelique. She’s the one who cursed Barnabas with vampirism, and she’s still around to cause trouble. Also, there’s tons of other characters and subplots.
Origin story: The original Dark Shadows was quite the novelty, a daytime soap opera with a horror/gothic/supernatural twist. Running from 1966 to 1971, it seemed destined for cult status from the start. (Although, to be fair, the daytime soaps have done a surprising amount of sci-fi/fantasy plots over the years.) The show was created by producer wunderkind Dan Curtis, who never let a tiny TV budget sway him from bringing his big ideas to the screen. The rarely-seen 1990 NBC prime time revival of Dark Shadows is also worth checking out.
Outsider theory: You’d think Victoria would be our outsider, being thrown into the middle of this weird family and all the supernatural happenings. Instead, Burton and co. have a lot more fun with Barnabas being perplexed by the modern day.
Reality breaks through: Our villain Angelique represents the real world breaking through the fantasy, with her high-tech factory and sleek red sports car. She almost literally kicks open the door of the Collins’ old-timey mansion to complicate everyone’s lives by bringing in the outside world. But Angelique’s goal isn’t financial. Despite her curse on Barnabas, her main desire is to seduce him.
Best bits: Julia: “Forgive me! You’re a good man! You’re a gentleman! Please…” Barnabas: “Madam, I am neither good nor gentle. And I do not forgive.”
Thoughts on this viewing: Dark Shadows should be the ultimate vampire romance, a chance to those punk Twilight kids how it’s really done. But this movie is so all over the place with so many side characters and subplots that Barnabas and Victoria barely interact. They also dial down the goth romance by making this a comedy, and a broad one at that. There are some individual moments that work, especially when it’s just Johnny Depp and Michelle Pfieffer together on screen, but this could have been so much more.
Next: A longer weenie.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.
Fantastic Friday! Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s first big story arc comes to a head in issue #561.
Recap: With an eco-disaster on the horizon, the New Defenders have traveled from the future to with a plan to bring future survivors to the present. They’ve abducted both Johnny and Dr. Doom, attaching them both to a dead Galactus and a “Galactus engine” which will power this plan. Meanwhile, Mrs. Deneuve, the FF’s new nanny, was revealed to be Sue from the future, and the New Defenders’ leader.
This issue begins as Johnny learns all when future Sue rejoins the New Defenders, who are Hulk Junior, Lightwave, Natalie X, Alex Ultron, the mysterious Hooded Man, and Johnny’s bank-robbing ex-girlfriend Psionics. Hulk Junior turns on the engine, causing Johnny and Dr. Doom great pain. Future Sue watches this coldly, saying she’s come too far to turn away now.
At the new Baxter Building, the FF, She-Hulk, and the kids recover from future Sue’s attack last issue. Reed deduces that she’s Sue from the future. Reed doesn’t know how to find her, but he does have his new microscopic tracer he’s developing in case of future FF abductions. He looks at Sue and says, “Once it’s injected, it’s impossible to remove.” Reed gives Sue the tracer, and then the computer locates future Sue in the hideout in upstate New York. She-Hulk stays behind to watch the kids until authorities arrive. As Reed, Sue, and Ben fly off in the Fantasticar, Reed says to Valeria that they’ll talk when he gets back.
At the New Defenders’ hideout, we learn that the engine is drawing energy from Galactus first, then Doom, and finally Johnny, in hopes that Johnny might still survive. Future Sue says the eight billion survivors from the future will be equally distributed around the present Earth’s give major continents. Outside, Sue uses her rarely seen “make invisible things visible” power to reveal the hideout is a huge ship hovering in the air upstate. (I find it unlikely that Psionics’ bank robberies paid for all this. Maybe that was just beer money.) The New Defenders can sense an attack is imminent, but they’re not fast enough, as the FF bust into the place.
Fighting! Ben and Sue clear a path so Reed can get at the New Defenders’ computer. The Hooded Man holds them off with his… adamantium claws! Yes, the Hooded Man is really a future Wolverine! He puts up a good fight until Sue blinds him by turning his optic nerves invisible so Ben can punch him out.
Sue confronts her future self, saying that an additional eight billion people would deplete the world. Future Sue says shutting off the engine will kill them all. Sue says she won’t let the future survivors die. Then she contacts Alyssa Moy, Reed’s ex-girlfriend, who has been working with her husband on Nu World, a recreation of Earth in an alternate universe. She and her husband Ted Castle are on Nu World at the moment, and she sends the signal to let everyone through. Alyssa confronts Ted on his plan to save only the wealthy elite, and she tells him to think of this as payback.
All eight billion survivors beam into Nu World in an instant. Ted freaks out, saying the board didn’t approve of this. Alyssa responds, “What are they going to do, Ted? Evict them?” Back at the hideout, future Sue drops the villain act and is overjoyed that Reed found a solution for the survivors. Ben detaches Johnny and Doom from the engine. They’re both out of it, but they survived. Galactus, this one from the New Defenders’ future, wasn’t so lucky, and is now dead. Reed says that one thing Nu World doesn’t have is super-powered protectors, and he thinks the New Defenders are just right for the job.
Then Dr. Doom wakes. Future Sue tries to apologize, saying there was no other way, and that it was nothing personal. “I only did what I had to,” she says. Doom says, “Likewise,” and he wraps his hands around future Sue’s next. There’s a flash of blue lightning, and future Sue is now just a burned skeleton. (Remember a few issues back when Doom swore revenge?) The others ask what he’s done, and Doom says, “Restored my honor. Nothing more.”
To be continued.
Unstable molecule: Reed’s microscopic tracer is in place so that any member of the FF can be instantly found if they ever mysteriously disappear again. Let’s see how long this stays in continuity.
Fade out: Future Wolverine says he recognizes the smell of Sue’s invisible force fields. This has never been a thing before, but I guess future Wolverine is just that good.
Clobberin’ time: But then, Ben has to point out that Wolverine smelled the force fields, but didn’t smell Ben coming. I wonder if that was an editorial note.
Flame on: Johnny refuses to believe future Sue is his sister. She explains that Reed concocted a way to keep her alive for centuries to save the world from the oncoming eco-disaster.
Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk gets stuck on bodyguard (babysitting) duty. She promises to join the fight when she can, but I guess it’s over before she can get there.
Four and a half: Franklin expresses concern over his mom becoming a bad guy in the future. Ben assures him that future Sue is not really evil, but doing what she has to because an entire world is counting on her.
Our gal Val: The unspoken look between Reed and Val before he leaves suggests Reed has figured out Valeria’s secret, that she’s a super-genius.
Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. Her uncovering the hideout’s ship so efficiently might be her spy training at work, along with use of her powers.
Trivia time: Alyssa and the New Defenders will be around for a while longer, as we deal with the fallout from this story.
The Marvel Wiki tries to reconcile this version of Wolverine with other future Wolverines, from Old Man Logan, Wastelanders: Wolverine, and a weird Spider-Bot interactive comic.
Fantastic or frightful? Mark Millar’s first story arc on the series ends with a bang, while still setting up things to come. For as frustrated as I’ve been with some of Millar’s other work, these past few issues of Fantastic Four have been quite good. It’s a big sci-fi superhero epic, yet one that keeps character from and center. Fun comics, in other words.
Next: Rules of engagement.
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Want more? Check out my ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three episodes are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.