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Fantastic Friday! Issue #535 concludes another Thing versus Hulk fight, ending in properly explosive fashion.

The issue begins with Ben once again trying to appeal to the Hulk’s better nature, reminding him that he’s really Bruce Banner. Hulk has flashbacks of people in his past – including Banner himself – calling him a monster. Hulk punches Ben through the air, and Ben admits to Johnny that Hulk has the “I’m a monster” look in his eyes. He says they must settle this monster-to-monster.

There’s a comedy bit inside a nearby casino as people place bets on the fight. Ben and the Hulk continue to exchange blows while Johnny is distracted by a giant screen showing a news report about the New York Welfare Office taking Franklin and Valeria away from Reed and Sue and putting them into foster care.

Ben tries again to reason with the Hulk, saying Hulk probably thought he would die when the gamma bomb went off. The Hulk then has a vision of the green Hulk asking him what it was all for, and maybe it’s time to go. “Perhaps you are doomed to be this monster for all time,” the green Hulk says. “Doomed to be me.” The Hulk yells “No!” and pummels Ben so hard that Ben fears he’s broken some ribs.

Johnny sees Ben is injured, and he flies down to help. Despite Ben’s protestations, Johnny unleashes his all-powerful nova flame against the Hulk. The Hulk once again flashes back to his origin, and Bruce Banner getting blasted by the original gamma bomb. The Hulk then emerges from the smoke and wreckage, telling Johnny and Ben, “I’m all right now.”

Cut to New York, where Reed and Sue meet with social worker Simone DeBouvier. She assures them that little Franklin and Valeria are safe and that their location is a closely-guarded secret. We see the outside of this safe house then bombed by a blast from above. DeBouvier gets a phone call about this, and tells Reed and Sue, “You made the right decision.” Then we see Franklin and Valeria weren’t at the safe house, but right there at the Baxter Building.

Reed explains to DeBouvier that the entire world is a dangerous place for their children, because of the FF’s celebrity status. Sue further explains that the FF’s enemies might know where the children are, but enemies also know where the FF are as well. DeBouvier leaves, saying she gives Reed and Sue her blessing.

Back in Las Vegas, the Hulk has his intelligence back. Ben’s wounds are bandaged, and they have a heart-to-heart chat on a casino roof. Hulk asks Ben if Ben’s life flashed before his eyes before Johnny came to the rescue. Ben says he doesn’t want to talk about it. A S.H.I.E.L.D. helicopter picks up the Hulk. Ben and Johnny decide to hit the slots for a bit, joking about how nothing can stop the Hulk short of launching him into space.

Unstable molecule: Who, exactly, are these unseen enemies of the Fantastic Four who thought they were bombing Reed and Sue’s kids? Why aren’t the FF rallying to track down these enemies and retaliate? A lot of the fan sites and blogs argue that Reed set up the explosion to fake out DuBouvier and the welfare people, but I don’t see anything in this issue to support that.

Fade out: Reed gets romantic with Sue, telling her that whenever he looks up at the stars, he sees her. She reminds him that he’s a scientist, not a poet.

Clobberin’ time: This issue’s letters page has results of a reader poll asking for favorite FF character, and we’re told Ben won by a huge margin.

Flame on: We learn that Johnny’s nova flame isn’t powerful enough to hurt the Hulk, but it’s powerful enough to knock some sense into a hallucinating Hulk. Our old friend The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Deluxe Edition says the exact heat of the nova flame in unknowable, but the Marvel Wiki disagrees, saying it’s a concentrated burst of 1 million degrees Fahrenheit. Why didn’t the nova flame destroy Vegas like it did Empire University during the Tom Defalco issues? Because Johnny has since developed the ability to do a focused nova flame on smaller area.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: There’s a little trick when the comic makes you think Franklin and Valeria are at the safe house before it explodes. Only after do we see that there were in the Baxter Building the whole time.

SUE-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. If the safe house bombing was fake, then could Sue’s spy contacts have pulled off the hoax? I find this theory unlikely for the same reason as it’s unlikely for Reed.

Commercial break: This issue was sold with a two-sided Neopets: The Darkest Faerie foldout poster stapled inside, to advertise a PS2 game. Marvel showed amazing restraint not promoting this on the cover.

Trivia time: The joke about sending the Hulk to space is no joke, as that’s what was happening at this time in Hulk comics. In the “Peace in Our Time” storyline, also known as the “Prelude to Planet Hulk” storyline, Nick Fury launched the Hulk into space to fight an evil A.I. called the Godseye. After the fight, Fury sent the Hulk farther into space where he’d never harm anyone on Earth again. But that’s only one part of the story, because Illuminati #1 reveals a lot more about secret plans to get rid of the Hulk. Further, the Las Vegas incident in these very Fantastic Four issues are cited by the Illuminati as part of the reason. It must have been tough to be a Hulk fan during this time, with so much of his continuity happening in other comics.

While Marvel characters have visited Las Vegas plenty of times over the years, this issue is the first time the MGM Grand has been drawn into a Marvel comic.

Fantastic or frightful? The main story feels like a Hulk story guest-starring the Fantastic Four, and it ends up foreshadowing the upcoming Planet Hulk epic. The Reed and Sue subplot is a little baffling. But it’s also consistent with J. Michael Straczynski’s writing, as his hero characters often pull off huge stunts to prove their points.

Next: Prelude preys lewd.

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Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s another Thing versus Hulk slugfest in issue #534, along with a journey through the Hulk’s past.

Recap: The Hulk, with Bruce Banner’s intelligence, went out to the desert with S.H.I.E.L.D. to diffuse a gamma bomb. Things went south and the bomb exploded, reverting Hulk from a brainy professor type to the classic brutish grey-skinned Hulk. Johnny and Ben flew out to Nevada to investigate, running right into this new/old Hulk.

Ben tries to talk sense into the Hulk, saying he only wants to help get the Hulk’s brain straightened back out. The Hulk only roars at him, and then… fighting! The brawl goes on for several pages, with Johnny joining the action as well. When Ben mentions the gamma bomb, Hulk gets confused. He has a flashback to his origin, when Bruce Banner got exposed to a gamma bomb while saving teenage Rick Jones.

The Hulk gets confused and wanders off in a daze. Johnny contacts their Fantasticar by remote control while Ben prepares a sonic gizmo Reed gave him before they left. Hulk flashes back to the death of his love Jarella. Johnny and Ben reveal that the Fantasticar is armed with a psychic disruptor, designed to attack the Hulk’s inner ear. This just makes the Hulk angrier (because of course it does). Hulk destroys the Fantasticar and jumps off toward Las Vegas.

The Hulk smashes into a hospital. Seeing a patient in bed reminds him of the death of his friend Jim. Johnny and Ben find Hulk and fight him again, with the battle spilling onto the street outside. Ben tells Johnny to let up, saying the Hulk isn’t fighting them, but instead is only fighting the things he’s seeing in his head. He admits he feels the same way. He says whenever the FF go to space, he gets flashbacks to becoming a monster. “Monsters understand monsters, Johnny,” he says.

Ben confronts the Hulk again, saying he knows the Hulk doesn’t really want to hurt anyone. He offers to help Hulk deal with the gamma radiation. Upon hearing that, Hulk has another flashback, this time about Bruce Banner being told his wife Betty has gamma radiation poisoning. In his mind’s eye, Hulk sees Ben as the Abomination and blames him for Betty’s death. Hulk punches Ben through a building and then looms over him, saying “I swear I’ll kill you!”

To be continued!

Clobberin’ time: At the hospital, Ben takes a moment to offer comfort to a blind man. But, upon touching Ben’s hand, the man reacts in fear. This is what prompts Ben to show sympathy toward the Hulk.

Flame on: Johnny questions why Reed would have built an anti-Hulk weapon into the Fantasticar, only for this question to go unanswered.

Four and a half: This issue comes with a six-page preview of Franklin Richards: Son of a Genius by Chris Eliopoulos and Marc Sumerak. It’s a parody of Calvin and Hobbes, with Franklin as Calvin and H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot as Hobbes. (Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot.) Franklin discovers a bunch of Doombots in storage inside Reed’s lab, and he uses a bunch of silly gadgets to dispose of them. I assumed these Franklin Richards comics were non-canonical, but the Marvel Wiki says they are.

Trivia time: About these flashbacks. The Hulk’s wife Betty, who had been his girlfriend since the early days, died of gamma poisoning. While Hulk was initially told that it was due to long-term exposure to him, it was really gamma poisoning caused by the Abomination. She’ll eventually come back to life thanks to cosmic being Nightmare and the machinations of her father, General Ross. She then turned into the Red She-Hulk. (Poor Betty has had to put up with a lot over the years.)

Then there’s Jarella. She’s a green-skinned warrior woman from the Microverse world of K’ai, who was able to love both Hulk and Bruce Banner. She died while saving a child from a collapsing building, only to come back to life much later during the Chaos War crossover.

I’m pretty sure everyone knows the Hulk’s origin by now, but just in case: Bruce Banner was exposed to the gamma bomb while saving teenage Rick Jones. Banner became the Hulk, and Jones improbably became one of Marvel’s most influential characters for a while. He was sidekick to the Hulk, Captain America, and all the Avengers. He later went full-on cosmic by being Captain Marvel for a while.

Speaking of sidekicks, this issue’s other flashback is about Hulk’s friend Jim Wilson. He helped the Hulk once and thus became one of Banner’s closest pals. He died of AIDS in the groundbreaking Incredible Hulk #420.

Fantastic or frightful? We all love a Hulk/Thing fight, but this one’s different in that the Thing isn’t so much fighting but trying to show compassion for the Hulk. Not a lot happens in this issue, but the action and the little character moments make up for it.

Next: Banner man.

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Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #533 offers some Hulk action on one end, and legal action on the other.

We begin outside of Las Vegas, where the Hulk is working alongside some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, searching for a Hydra weapon of mass destruction. This is a “Professor Hulk” situation, where he has Bruce Banner’s intelligence. The weapon is in some caves out in the desert. The Hulk investigates while the agents hang back. He fights through some automated defenses and then discovers the weapon is a gamma bomb, the same type that originally gave him his powers. Further, the defenses set off a countdown. He tries to shut it down, but he’s not fast enough. A massive green mushroom cloud explodes over the desert.

At the new Baxter Building, there’s some business with the now-wealthy Ben playing the stock market. He loses $2 million, but then he says he can write it off on his taxes. He catches up with Reed, Sue, and Johnny, who have bad news. Simone DeBouvier of the NYC child welfare department is threatening to separate Franklin and Valeria from Reed and Sue until a formal hearing can take place. This goes back to the previous story arc of DeBouvier investigating the Richards family, arguing that FF HQ is not a safe place for the kids. (Our heroes did thwart an alien invasion during that arc, but I guess DeBouvier wasn’t swayed.)

Ben wants to help, but Reed instead assigns Ben to investigate the gamma explosion outside Las Vegas. Johnny is going with him, so his famous hotheadedness doesn’t interfere with Reed and Sue’s efforts to plead on behalf of the kids. Ben and Johnny leave in a Fantasticar, while Sue ponders how her situation isn’t something that can be solved with an old-fashioned superhero brawl.

At the blast site in the desert, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent says Ben and Johnny aren’t there to investigate the bomb, but the actions of the Hulk, who ran off to an abandoned airfield and then destroyed the place. The agent fears Banner may have regressed from Professor Hulk to a more primitive “Hulk smash” type of Hulk. He says Ben and Johnny are there to neutralize the Hulk. This is followed by some debate between Ben and Johnny as to whether Ben can defeat the Hulk in a fair fight. They fly off into the desert in search of the Hulk.

Back at HQ, Reed and Sue meet with DeBouvier. She says the decision is out her hands, and that it’s the courts who have decided to take the children. Reed finally agrees that the Baxter Building can be dangerous, so he agrees to her demands. But then he adds, “With just… one small request.”

Then we cut back to the desert, where someone throws a giant boulder at Ben and Johnny. They assume it’s from the Hulk, but they don’t see anyone around. They attacked again, with a blow so hard it shakes the ground. Then the Hulk appears, but it’s the grey Hulk, growling at Ben like a monster. Ben asks, “So, Doc… come here often?”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: During Acts of Vengeance, Reed was opposed to superhero registration, but in the upcoming Civil War, he’ll be in favor of it? What changed? In this issue we see that going up against the government is not something he can use his powers to fight so easily. Also remember that he once told She-Hulk that, despite his great genius, the vagaries of the legal system were something he could never quite master.

Fade out: Sue is strangely silent during the discussion of the children’s future, except to go along with whatever plan Reed has cooking. She says to Johnny, “If we could save them from Doom, and rescue them from the gates of Hell itself… we can do this.”

Clobberin’ time: Ben’s stock market phone conversation is with someone named Stan. Could this be a reference to the time Stan Lee rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange the day that Marvel went public? That was about ten years before this, but it’s not like Marvel to name a character Stan at random.

Flame on: With special asbestos gloves, Johnny is able to lift up Ben and carry him as they fly across the desert. Remember that The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Deluxe Edition states that Ben weighs 500 pounds. Let’s just assume Johnny created a cushion of hot air around Ben to lift him into the air.

SUE-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. Does Sue know anything about S.H.I.E.L.D.’s dealings with the Hulk at this time? It doesn’t appear so, yet S.H.I.E.L.D. are the ones who contacted the FF once the Hulk ran off.

Trivia time: Tracking the Hulk’s continuity (Hulk-inuity?) is tough during this time. The Marvel Wiki insists that this story takes place during the “Cure” storyline, in which Bruce somehow negotiated with various aspects of the Hulk, so he could transform at any time between the classic dumb Hulk, the grey Mr. Fixit Hulk, and his own mind as Professor Hulk. However, this issue was on stands the same time as the “Peace in Our Time” storyline, also known as “Prelude to Planet Hulk,” in which Bruce was a fugitive with an animalistic Hulk persona. (Could this FF story arc be part of the change in Hulk’s status quo?)

Fantastic or frightful? Another issue that’s all set-up, with the main storyline happening in the next few issues. The Ben/Johnny banter is maybe a little too jokey, but I do like when we get a superhero story that’s “just another day in the office” for the characters. Mike McKone’s artwork really shines, as he’s mastered how to do great facial expressions for Ben.

Next: Hulks of Future Past.

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Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The 2006 Thing solo series was all about Ben exploring his new life as a millionaire while still getting into superhero adventures.

Issue #5 begins with a flashback to the recent past, with Ben attending a fancy movie premiere. He’s confronted by Shecky, a.k.a. Old Man Sheckerberg, from Yancy Street. Shecky says Ben promised to help out at his store, but Ben is too busy being rich now. Ben offers to write Shecky a check, but Shecky refuses. Cut to the present, and Ben has had a change of heart, showing up at the store. He sees folks in the old neighborhood helping each other through hard times, reminding him of his own tough childhood.

The Yancy Street Gang makes their presence known by vandalizing Ben’s car, and then splashing him with water as he waits for the bus. Ben calls architect Arlo North, and Alicia answers the phone. He thinks he’s called the wrong number, not knowing Alicia and North are dating. He calls again and talks to North, asking for help. Ben later announces to reporters that he’s going to build a Grimm Youth Center on Yancy Street. Shecky is unimpressed, thinking Ben’s just doing this for his ego. Goons from the Maggia crime family try and fail to stop Ben, so they contact Paste-Pot Pete, um, I mean the Trapster for help. Ben and North work on the new building when they’re attacked by both the Trapster and the Sandman.

Issue #6 begins with Ben fighting Sandman for a bit before firing the “4” signal flare. The rest of the FF are busy elsewhere, so instead Spider-Man shows up to help. He’s wearing is new red and gold “Iron Spider” armor. He and Ben defeat Sandman by mixing his sand with Trapster’s glue. Ben then prevents Trapster from setting off a bomb.

Spidey and Ben chat for a bit, and then Damage Control arrives to clean up after the battle. Hercules is now with Damage Control, helping out as well. Arlo North then comes clean, telling Ben about him and Alicia. Later, at the youth center’s grand opening, Ben is remorse after losing his shot to get back with her. He dedicates the center to his brother Daniel, which convinces some street kids not to throw a brick through a window. Shecky remains unimpressed, telling Ben he still has to come help at the pawn shop. Later that night, an exhausted Ben falls asleep on a sidewalk bench, and the Yancy Street gang take the opportunity to paint graffiti all over him.

Issue #7 has Ben still jealous about Alicia dating Arlo North. Sue helps by inviting Alicia and Ben over to babysit the kids. Ben wants to use his new pet, the Inhumans’ teleporting dog Lockjaw, to teleport Alicia to France for a visit to the Louvre. When Alicia says she’s been there before, Ben comes up with another plan – the FF’s time machine. He takes her back to ancient Greece, to be present when all the classic sculptures were made. They run into Hercules, posing for a sculpture. Hercules mistakes Ben for a troll and they fight, accidentally breaking the arms off the Venus de Milo.

Alicia and Ben have a heart-to-heart talk, where she insists can only be just friends because there’s too much history between them for it to be otherwise. Later that night, Reed finds that New York has been transformed into a gigantic Italian villa, and he deduces Ben has been messing with the time machine again. “We’ll fix it in the morning,” he says.

Issue #8 begins with Ben in better spirits, hosting not just poker night but an entire poker tournament in his new apartment. Tons of superheroes and even a few villains show up. Even joke heroes the Great Lakes Avengers are there, and Squirrel Girl tells everyone about how she and Ben first met while fighting the Bi-Beast.

Impossible Man is also there, and he tells the story of how he got a rare Popuppian disease which caused his powers to haywire. He came to Earth hoping for Reed to cure him, and ended up fighting Ben in the Himalayas. Ben cures Impossible Man by scaring him, like you’d do with the hiccups. The fight destroyed a village’s immersive art habitat, so Ben hires Arlo North to rebuild it. This frees Alicia to attend the poker tournament.

Cut to one month earlier, when Shecky tells Ben that his debt is paid, and Ben doesn’t have to help at the shop anymore. Shecky takes Ben to the neighborhood temple, where a rabbi reminds Ben that Ben never had his Bar Mitzvah. Ben agrees to go through with it, practicing and studying. The FF, Alicia, Ben’s Uncle Jacob, and a bunch of superheroes attend the big day. Ben gives a speech about the story of Job from the Torah. He says he’s realized that, despite being a monster, he’s got it pretty good.

Then we cut back to the poker tournament, where Flatman of the Great Lakes Avengers outplays Ben in the final game. Ben is angry, but then Alicia whispers something in his ear that convinces him to kick everyone out except the two of them. The miniseries ends when Spider-Man asks, “Is that it?” and the caption says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

Unstable molecule: When Ben calls for help from his teammates, Reed cannot respond because he’s in the Negative Zone fighting Blastaar the Living Bomb-Burst. I’d really like Marvel to tell this full story someday.

Fade out: Sue doesn’t answer Ben because she’s in the ocean with Namor, using her force fields to stop an oil spill from spreading.  

Clobberin’ time: This series would seem to set wheels in motion for Alicia and Ben becoming a couple again, but it won’t actually happen officially until after the 2015 Secret Wars.

Flame on: Johnny doesn’t respond to Ben’s call because he’s rescuing Beyonce (!) from Dragon Man.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk cameos at the opening to the youth center, remarking that she’s been away from the FF for so long that she’s surprised at how much taller the kids are. She’s also at the poker tournament.

Other alternate members of the team at the poker game are Luke Cage, Namor, Impossible Man, and Tigra. Remember that those last two were part of the so-called “Fantastic Seven” for a short time in the ‘70s. Also, She-Hulk, Luke Cage, and Medusa are all at Ben’s Bar Mitzvah.

Spider-Man mentions what he thinks is his membership in the FF by recalling when he, Wolverine, Hulk, and Ghost Rider were the so-called “New Fantastic Four.” In response, Ben famously quips, “You think that counts?”

Four and a half/Our gal Val: Franklin and Valeria appear only briefly, at the youth center opening and when being babysat.

SUE-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. In this series, Ben asks Sue to dig up into on Arlo North, which she does easily. Could this be her spy training at work?  

Trivia time: Who are the Great Lakes Avengers? Most Marvel fans know Squirrel Girl by now, and the others are Mr. Immortal, Flatman, Big Bertha, and Doorman. This one also starts the running gag of them wanting a new team name. They call themselves the Great Lakes X-Men, the Great Lakes Defenders, and the Great Lakes Champions in this one.

What’s this “Iron Spider” business about? Spider-Man was living at Stark Tower at this time, as a member of the New Avengers. Tony Stark built the Iron Spider armor after Spidey died and came back in a battle against Morlun. The armor’s attributes included three (not four) mechanical spider arms, a glider, and chameleonic shape-changing powers.

It’s not stated in this issue, but Ben is working at the pawn shop to pay off the Star of David he took in vol. 3 issue #56. Shecky refuses a check from Ben, insisting that Ben work off the debt.

Why is Sandman a villain again, after all that time spent on his redemption? He even spent some time alongside the Avengers. Turns out the Wizard tinkered with his brain in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #12, making him evil again.

Spider-Woman and Yellowjacket are also at the poker game, but it’ll later be revealed that these are Skrulls in disguise.

Fantastic or frightful? These issues are more typical of writer Dan Slott’s style, with all the eye-winking humor based on Marvel continuity. The gags feel overdone after a little while, and all the drama between Alicia and Ben goes nowhere at the end. The Bar Mitzvah scenes are nicely done, however, as is Ben’s big speech at the end of it.

Next: The old Parker luck.

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Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a city full of far-out technology and hidden dark magic. The first three chapters are FREE, so give it a shot! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.