Forgotten TV shows I still like. For this series, I’m trying to skip over things with cult followings in favor of true obscurities. With that in mind, here’s Alive From Off Center.
I think we can agree that PBS programming is usually pretty boring. But… used to be that if you turned it on in the middle of the night, you could find all kinds of oddities. These included British TV like Dr. Who and Fawlty Towers, old silent horror films like The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and the Lon Cheney Phantom of Opera. And that’s where Alive From Off Center would often show up out of nowhere.
What is this show? The premise seems to be, “Let’s give an artist access to TV equipment and let them do whatever they want.” These artists aren’t just filmmakers, but also dancers, actors, animators, and even the likes of mimes and circus types. I guess you could call it performance art for the then-new digital age.
Information on the origins and history of this show is hard to come by. This ran from 1985 (or ’86 according to some sources) and ran until 1992, when it was renamed Alive TV, finally ending in 1996. That’s a heck of a long run for something that no one ever talks about anymore. The first season was hosted by radio journalist Susan Stamberg, who offered context on the various scenes/skits. Avant-garde artist Laurie Anderson took over as host for the second season, and her intros were more just as arty and out-there as the rest of the show. The rest of the series had no regular host, throwing viewers straight into the mix.
Alive From Off Center defies description. Segments include musical performances, dance performances, one-act plays, comedy skits, low-budget animation, short films from overseas – basically anything the artists of the week wanted to come up with. A big part of enjoying the show is never knowing what on Earth you would see next.
Other observations:
Famous to semi-famous performers on the show include Spaulding Grey, Bill Irwin, and William Wegman (a.k.a. that guy who uses his dogs in all his art).
Were there recurring segments? Kind of. Anderson’s bizarre host segments spun out of her short film What Do You Mean We?
A dance segment called Dancers in Exile was directed by famous filmmaker Jonathan Demme.
Alive From Off Center is difficult to find online, with only a scattering of episodes posted by various people, so we can’t track how the show developed over time. But, in a way, this simulates what it was like to happen upon it while channel surfing after midnight and being “What the heck is this?” Off center, indeed.
The whirlwind success of Twin Peaks in 1990 begat Northern Exposure, about a quirky small town, this time without the murder and darkness. That series begat Key West, with the premise being, “Quirky small town, but Florida this time.”
Seamus O’Neil (Fisher Stevens) is a lowly factory worker in New Jersey who longs to be a writer like his hero, Hemingway. When he wins millions in the lottery, he packs up his things and moves to Hemingway’s old stomping grounds in Key West, Florida. In no time, he ingratiates himself to the locals. There’s wisecracking bartender Gumbo (Leland Cooke), Jamaican spiritualist Jojo (Terrence “T.C.” Carson), wise-beyond-her-years sex worker Savannah (Jennifer Tilly), bizarre sheriff Jeremiah (Brian Thompson), conservative mayor Caldwell (Denise Crosby), and many, many others.
It’s not long before the whole lottery thing doesn’t work out, and Seamus ends up needing a job. He gets work at the local newspaper, led by blind editor “King” Cole (Ivory Ocean), and his weekly column about life in town becomes the voiceover narration that guides us through each episode. This also gives him an excuse to be in the center of whatever’s happening in town.
There we have it. A fun premise, a novel setting, and a huge cast of kooky characters. But… the show has its flaws. The tone is, let’s say, inconsistent. Key West is at its best when relying on the Northern Exposure template. The quirkiness and occasional supernatural occurrences are there to reflect what the characters are dealing with. But then it becomes a heady drama at times, with a hurricane blowing through town, a crime episode about a Cuban gangster, and multiple episodes about the mayor’s various insecurities. These storylines lack the fun, semi-magical feeling that captures your attention when you first discover the show.
If the show is so flawed, why watch? The best thing about Key West is just the overall vibes. There’s an alligator with a big pink bow living in the bar. A mysterious unknown man plays bagpipes while on the beach overlooking the ocean. Every episode treats us to new little details about the characters, and the dialogue is often sharp and witty.
There’s a female marine biologist character introduced early on as a love interest for Seamus, but she’s not on the show much after that. We get a lot more interaction between Seamus and Savannah instead, with Fisher Stevens and Jennifer Tilly having great chemistry. Would they have become the show’s big romance had it continued? That’s my guess, but who can say?
Other observations:
Most of the online trivia about the show has to do with cats in the background of various shots. Allegedly, Hemingway kept several cats on his property, and the legend goes that all the cats in the town of Key West are descendants of Hemingway’s cats. (Big money pitch: An animated movie about Hemingway’s cats.)
David Beaird, the creator and executive producer of Key West, also directed six feature films in his career. Each one of those films has one or more Key West cast members.
Scheduling no doubt played a role in the show’s demise. The first half of the series ran from January to March 1993. Then it went on hiatus, not airing the rest of the series until June 1993. And then, episodes were pre-empted twice for other programming.
If you’re curious about Key West, I suggest making it a bit of a miniseries. Start with the pilot followed by “The Second Day in Heaven,” dealing with Seamus’ arrival in town and his new role at the newspaper. Then act three is “We the People,” in which the entire ensemble unites to take a stand against the government. That episode gives the whole cast something to do, and it sums up the show nicely.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. After issue #5 comes issue #6, right? Not so with Marvel. Our regularly scheduled ongoing story arc is interrupted by a big crossover, so here’s issue #5.AU. That stands for Age of Ultron, of course.
Do I really have to read the entire crossover to get this issue? I’m going to try to wing it. The opening text page tells us that Hank Pym created Ultron, but Ultron went out of control and hates humanity. We begin with the FF still on their year-long expedition of time and space. Their ship is currently in deep space, 634 years in the past. Franklin is woken up from sleep by Valeria, who plays a message for them left by the Reed, Sue, Ben, and Johnny. Reed says, “If you’re seeing this message, something has gone catastrophically wrong.”
We catch up to the FF on a shuttle, where Reed explains that Ultron is attacking the Earth, the entire planet at once. They make contact with Black Panther who describes the conflict as “the end of the world” and asks for anyone who is able to come to Earth’s aid. They travel back to the present, only to find New York in ruins. Medusa is lying unconscious nearby, and the FF sets out in search of their children. (But… we just saw the kids back on the ship, right? Must be a time travel thing.) Reed fears the kids didn’t get to safety in time, and then the team is attacked by a flying squad of Ultron robots.
On the ship, Johnny’s portion of the message is his will and testament, leaving everything to Franklin and Valeria. He reconciles how he just recently came back from the dead (He wasn’t actually dead, but whatever), and he promises, “Death isn’t the end of anything.” Valeria hears this and concludes, “We’re in real trouble.”
On Earth, Johnny fights the Ultrons while Ben smashes through the rubble in search of an exit. Johnny vanishes and maybe dies in a big explosion. On the ship, Ben’s portion of the message is his confession. He admits he fears that Dr. Doom was all his fault, because he treated Doom like a jerk when they were back in college. He then reveals that he messed with Doom’s experiment, the one that failed and scarred Doom’s face. “I ain’t never told no one that before,” he says. Franklin and Val are shocked, and they hug each other.
Back on Earth, the FF have been hiding for seventeen hours. Ben thinks he sees Dr. Doom and he attacks. Turns out this is another Ultron ‘bot wearing Doom’s cloak and mask. He says Dr. Doom fell, adding, “They all fell.” Ben fights the Ultrons, only for more and more of them to swarm onto him, overwhelming him.
In the ship, we get Reed’s part of the message. Reed says he doesn’t have the words for the kids, so he writes his thoughts down on paper. He writes about not knowing how to say goodbye to his children, and that, as a man of science, he does not believe in Heaven or Hell. He writes, “What we do it all that matters.” On Earth, Reed and Sue flee from the Ultrons. He wraps a bunch of them up in his stretchy body. The robots enact their self-destruct functions, and Reed goes up in another huge explosion.
Time passes, and Sue regains consciousness as She-Hulk finds her and pulls her from the rubble. She tells Sue, “We lost everything.” On the ship, there’s no message from Sue. Franklin remembers her telling him, “Everything’s going to be okay,” before he went to sleep the night before. Valeria asks if he believes her, and Franklin doesn’t answer.
To be continued… in the crossover.
All right, fine. I’ll read all ten issues of freakin’ Age of Ultron. What’s it about? The whole thing takes place in the ruins of the Earth following Ultron’s attack. It’s post-apocalypse sci-fi where various Marvel heroes are the only survivors. The heroes assemble over time, with Sue joining them in issue #3. Upon fleeing to the Savage Land for safety, the heroes learn the original Ultron isn’t on Earth, but he is leading the invasion from some point in the future. Everybody finds Nick Fury hiding in a high-tech bunker, and they debate traveling into Ultron’s future versus going back in time to stop Hank Pym from creating Ultron in the first place. Fury leads a team into the future, but Sue and Wolverine go rogue, however, going to the past to take out Pym. Sue hesitates, but she finally steps aside and allows Wolverine to kill Pym.
Sue and Wolverine return to the present to find New York is restored, except this time the world is ruled by Tony Stark and his army of Iron Men. Sue and Wolvie are attacked and abducted by an alternate universe version of the Defenders. Sue uses her invisibility to try to escape, only for the witch Morgana Le Fey to invade New York with an army of super-monsters. (She’s the main supervillain in this reality, apparently.)
Then the story abruptly goes back to the scene where Wolverine killed Pym, only for another Wolverine to show up and stop him. This one says he’s also from Fury’s bunker in the Ultron future. This new Wolverine has a plan where Pym creates Ultron like he always did, restoring history as it was, except for one failsafe to stop Ultron in this specific instance and none of the other times he attacked. Sue joins them and adds that Hank must also wipe his memory of this failsafe.
Then another flashback to Pym creating Ultron, except this time he finds a message from himself in the future. It describes the Avengers battling the Intelligencia, resulting in signal being sent to restore Ultron. Then the kill switch from the two Wolverines timeline is activated, and Ultron freaks out, realizing that something in his code has changed. Ultron fights the Avengers while also trying to resist the change. But Pym’s failsafe works, and Ultron breaks apart. Wolverine and Sue return to New York where it seems to be back to normal. But then there’s several pages of what looks like various timelines converging and/or falling apart. Pym, Tony Stark, and Beast have a meeting where they say “multiversal chaos” now threatens the Earth. We end with two big (well, big-ish) changes to the Marvel Universe. First, Miles Morales transports permanently from the Ultimate Universe to the MU proper. Second, Angela from Spawn comics arrives in the MU.
Unstable molecule: Reed’s goodbye to the kids is probably the best scene in all these comics. But how can Reed say he doesn’t believe in Heaven or Hell when he’s personally visited both? (Hell during the John Byrne years, and Heaven during the Waid/Weiringo years.) He probably sees those as alternate universes and not the afterlife.
Fade out: Nick Fury has copies of all the heroes’ weapons and armor in his bunker, just in case. But because Sue has no specific weapons, all she gets is a big gun.
Clobberin’ time: Ben’s revelation about sabotaging Doom’s machine back in college should be a bigger deal than it is. It’s definitely something to look out for in future issues.
Flame on: Johnny makes a big deal about how he recently came back from the dead. But, from his perspective, he wasn’t dead. He was off in the Negative Zone having all kinds of adventures. I suppose he’s talking about death from his family’s perspective.
Four and a half/Our gal Val: Age of Ultron issue #10 has one line where Wolverine tells Sue it’s time for her to go back home to her kids. Other than that, Franklin and Valeria’s storyline has no conclusion. But then, the Marvel Wiki has to go and insist that all of Age of Ultron is an alternate timeline/timelines, and the only the last few scenes take place in the actual Marvel Universe. Geez.
Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk has a buzzcut in the Ultron timeline, suggesting her hair was burned off in battle somehow. She and Luke Cage were instrumental in the mission where the heroes learned Ultron was coordinating the invasion from the future. Medusa is confirmed dead in the Ultron timeline.
Black Panther is seen only at the start of the crossover, sending the distress signal. Storm randomly appears alongside the heroes late in the story. You probably have to read their tie-in issues to get those full stories.
Foundational: There’s reference to Pym studying Dragon Man prior to creating Ultron. Beyond that, the Future Foundation and backup FF get no mention in Age of Ultron.
Trivia time: Angela was originally a character from Todd McFarlane’s Spawn, an angel sent to Earth to hunt Al Simmons, a.k.a. Spawn. She went to have all kinds of adventures of her own. A writer who will not be named sued McFarlane for ownership of the character, only to immediately then sell the character to Marvel just to rub McFarlane’s face in the dirt. (Looking back at stuff like this, we can see that unnamed writer was never a good person, was he?) Since then, Angela has been a semi-regular in Thor and Guardians of the Galaxy.
Fantastic or frightful? We’re all interested in multiverse stories, because it’s fun to explore the “what if” of it all. But when everything is all alternate timelines, it loses any sense of drama. Someone dies? Just get another one of them from another universe. What’s more, Age of Ultron doesn’t have a main character. It starts with Hawkeye, then goes back and forth between Captain America and Nicky Fury, then focuses on Sue and Wolverine, and ends with Hank Pym. Just imagine if Hawkeye had filled Wolverine’s role throughout. It’d be more consistent, and we’d get a big crossover event with ol’ Clint as the focus. Anyway, it’s ten issues and tons of tie-ins for something that didn’t matter a whole lot.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Time for more science-kid hijinks in FF vol. 2 #5, with some mystery along the way.
Recap: The Fantastic Four have left for an expedition through time and space that’s meant to last only four seconds back home. But they never returned. Now, a replacement Fantastic Four – Ant-Man, Medusa, She-Hulk, and newcomer Darla Deering – are left in charge. Then a future version of Johnny, now known as “John Storm” appeared, saying Dr. Doom will kill the Fantastic Four in the future. While Ant-Man plots to take down Doom before this can happen, Medusa and Bentley-23, the Foundation’s would-be supervillain in training, have their own plot in the works.
This issue begins with Medusa introducing her son Ahura to the Future Foundation kids. She shows them a flower that’s been exposed to the Inhumans’ terrigen mists, which gives the Inhumans their powers, and then she begins a history lesson. Nearby, Ant-Man is fretting over Alex Power, who ran off after disagreeing with the plan to confront Dr. Doom. He breaks down in front of Darla, insisting it’s his responsibility to keep everyone together. Darla says not to worry about Alex, and instead focus on John Storm, who has also wandered off.
John Storm wanders into some sort of art gallery/nightclub place, looking for a place to sleep for the night. When two locals try to get him to leave, he flames on, singing one man’s beard. He flies off, as a photographer gets a pic of him. Back at HQ, Medusa shows off teleporting dog Lockjaw to the kids. Crystal is there with her daughter Luna, having brought Ahern to the building. Luna has a sort of second sight power, and she sees purple energy swirling around Medusa. She says Medusa looks “un-good.” Medusa chides Luna, saying she shouldn’t use her powers on the queen of Attilan.
Out in New York, Johnny is flying about in madness, saying he’ll burn the whole city to the ground. Ant-Man gets the team together to stop him, with Medusa reminding everyone that John is a friend and must be treated with compassion. Before leaving, Ant-Man asks the Foundation kids for ideas on how to stop John safely. The team finds John out in the city, and a brief fight breaks out. Just as Ant-Man is about to subdue him, the Foundation’s two Atlantean kids, Vil and Wu, summon a huge sea monster to splash water down onto the whole city. This douses John’s flame and knocks him out. The photographer is back, and he takes a humiliating pic of the team all wet.
Later, the team is visited by Ul-Waa of the Uhari. Remember that the Uhari are the long-lost offshoots of Atlantis recently discovered. Ul-Waa is the interim regent of the Uhari in Sue’s absence and uncle to Vil and Wu. He says he won’t allow the children to come to harm, even though they saved the city. John wakes up in the building’s infirmary, saying “End Doom.”
Then we learn where Alex Power ran off to. He’s in… Latveria?!? He arrives at Castle Doom, saying he’s written ahead, and that he’s there to talk about Ant-Man and the new FF. That night, back at the new Baxter Building, Bentley-23 has a dream (or is it?) where he sees Medusa, Blastaar the Living Bomb-burst, and the Wizard. (Remember that Bentley is a clone of the Wizard.) The Wizard calls Medusa “wife,” and he says to Bentley, “Call me dad.”
To be continued!
Fantastic fifth wheel: The opening text page recalls that Ant-Man blames Dr. Doom for the death of his daughter Cassie. This hasn’t been made explicit in the story itself, but it does add extra motivation to his actions.
When fighting John, She-Hulk and Darla do a variation of the X-Men’s famous “fastball maneuver,” with Darla throwing She-Hulk at John.
Medusa’s history lesson is about Herodotus, The Iliad, and a historical representation of women through the centuries. Sounds like heavy stuff, but the Foundation kids are geniuses, remember.
Darla tries on a number of helmets to protect her head while in her Thing suit. Dragon Man gives her an invisible helmet that was originally built to mimic Sue’s powers. Some of her other options include the metal helmet Ben wore after Wolverine scratched his face. Sue’s Malice mask (where did Darla get that?), and the Mask of Mandragora from the Negative Zone and/or from Dr. Who.
Foundational: While Vil and Wu have normally been silent throughout this run, they do talk in this issue, calling their uncle “Pop-pop” several times.
Onome is unimpressed with Lockjaw, saying that back in Wakanda, her father owns a panther.
Willie Lumpkin is shown teaching a class for the Foundation kids, with “birds” and “bees” written on a chalkboard. Make of that what you will.
Trivia time: There’s a lot of backstory involving Ahura. He was born without permission of the Inhuman high council, and grew up in secret. He has the same madness as his uncle, Maximus, but in this issue he insists he’s gotten over it. The Marvel Wiki names him as an official member of the Future Foundation starting with this issue.
There’s also a lot of drama surrounding Luna. While we were initially told that she had no super powers, that changed over time. During the Decimation crossover, she played a part in Quicksilver trying to terrigen mists to restore his powers. As for Luna, her powers involve seeing and interpreting people’s auras.
Fantastic or frightful? This issue is all over the place with subplots. The mystery of something being up with Medusa is our only throughline. It’s a comic that’s read better as part of the trade rather than a single, which is what comics have been for a while now.
Forgotten TV shows I still like. Comedy is of course subjective. Getting a sitcom on the air is tough, and getting one that resonates with mass audiences is even tougher. 1990’s The Marshall Chronicles did not catch on, with is too bad because it’s some hilarious, brilliantly written comedy.
Marhsall Brightman (Joshua Beckett) is an ordinary, if neurotic, teenager in the ‘80s. Except that he lives in Manhattan. So instead of taking the bus to school, he takes the subway. He and his friends hang out at the bodega instead of at the mall. And so on. Marshall has a crush on Melissa (Nile Lanning), the prettiest girl in school. But uh-oh, she’s dating Marshall’s bully Johnny (Gabriel Bologna). Along for the ride are Marshall’s two best friends, the wisecracking Sean (Bradley Gregg) and the ditsy Leslie (Meredith Scott Lynn). Marshall’s parents (Jennifer Salt and Steve Anderson) are also here for some classic sitcom parental cluelessness.
The show’s influences are evident, the films of Woody Allen foremost. I wonder if the pitch was just, “Woody as an ‘80s teen show.” But the show is also standing on the shoulders of other New York-set teen shows of the era (era), like Welcome Back Kotter or Head of the Class. Even the famously naughty Night Court seems to be an influence, as Marshall and his friends often navigate the seedier sides of NYC. Then there’s Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, as Marshall likes to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the viewers, just as Ferris often did.
Lots of talent behind the scenes. The Marshall Chronicles was created by Richard Rosenstock, who was a producer on Newhart, The King of Queens, Will and Grace, The Big Bang Theory, Family Guy, and a co-executive producer on Arrested Development. Other writers and directors on the show include TV legend James Burrows, famous for his work on Taxi, Cheers, Frasier and a bajillion other shows. There’s also Ken Levine, who’s written for M.A.S.H., Cheers, and The Simpsons. (This is not the last time I’ll write about Levine in this blog series).
Despite the big city setting and the – let’s face it – Jewishness of it all, Marshall is nonetheless an everyman. His trials are everyone’s trials. He’s too smart for his own good, which gets him into trouble without him realizing it. He tries to be honest and do the right thing, only for it to backfire on him. On second thought, maybe that’s not a good description of an everyman. Maybe it’s more that I personally find Marshall relatable. Is Marshall all of us, or am I Marshall?
Other observations:
The music of Randy Newman is certainly not for everyone, and I find him hit or mess, but his theme song for the Marshall Chronicles is a real banger.
Yes, that’s young Adam Sandler in one episode as the teen who says, “What do I look like, an usher?” His character’s name in the credits is “the usher.”
Seinfeld was originally called The Seinfeld Chronicles. Allegedly, the name was changed because producers feared stiff competition from The Marshall Chronicles. The first regular episode of Seinfeld aired the same week as the last episode of The Marshall Chronicles.
The YouTube rip of The Marshall Chronicles has all the original commercials, including the pizza ad with the dog who says, “I love you!”
We’ll never know what might have been. If the show had lasted for several seasons, would Marshall have graduated and gone to college? Would he and Melissa have made it work? Maybe it’s for the best that all we get are these six episodes. They contain all we need from Marshall and co., and episode six concludes on a good note. Definitely check it out.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. But this week, a new movie came out! It’s Fantastic Four First Steps.
Let’s face it, a Fantastic Four movie is something of an uphill climb. To begin, these characters are a lot of things at once. They’re superheroes, scientists, adventurers, astronauts, etc. But they’re also a family full of comedic family sitcom antics. Oh, and they’re famous celebrities, with all the excitement and drama that brings. Also, a lot of comics readers feel the FF are outdated, relics of the ‘60s who lack the coolness of the X-Men, the Punisher, or (I’m gonna say it) Deadpool. Therefore, the goal of a Fantastic Four movie is to establish not just who these characters are, but why they’re a big deal.
I’m happy to report that First Steps goes a long way in doing just that.
SPOILER WARNING!
SPOILER WARNING!
SPOILER WARNING!
Despite this being an “MCU film,” we’re not in the MCU at all. In an alternate Earth, the FF are the only superheroes (that we know of). We run through a brief prologue summarizing the origin story so we can get right to the good stuff. The FF are living in the Baxter Building, and they are famous for saving the world on a regular basis. Again, we’re seeing the FF as being a big deal, the top dogs of their world. This gives the movie freedom to jump directly into the plot. Reed and Sue are apprehensive yet excited about becoming parents. Their feelings run parallel to a threat from space that’s far beyond than anything they’ve experienced.
Like the FF as a whole, it’s hard to get Reed right as a character. There are way too many “Reed is a jerk” stories throughout Marvel comics, although the better stories make him so much more than that. Yes, he has smartest-guy-in-the-room syndrome, and he has a habit of concentrating more on his science than on his marriage. But then, the better stories have him overcome that and grow into being a loving family man. In one of the movie’s best-acted moments, Sue puts Reed on the spot for always preparing for every outcome, including the worst ones, and what that means.
Sue is also portrayed nicely in the film. Despite being pregnant, she’s never sidelined. She gets to demonstrate her role as the heart of the team in a big speech where she pleads her case for doing the right thing not just in front of her teammates, but in front of a whole crowd of New Yorkers. This speech could easily have been an eye-roller, but Vanessa Kirby goes for it, making it work.
We see so little of Johnny in the movie’s marketing that I feared he would be the weak link. But I really dug what actor Joseph Quinn is doing here. He gets the youthful “hothead” part of the character down pat, but he’s shown to be intelligent and capable in his own way. He helps fly the FF’s spaceship, and he figures out a science problem of his own rather than turning it over to Reed. The movie asks questions about sacrifice, and whether one should make a huge sacrifice for the greater good, or if there’s another way. Johnny’s willingness to make that sacrifice was an interesting aspect of his character, and I wonder if that’ll be explored more in upcoming movies.
Ben doesn’t have as much of a character arc in this film as the other characters. Instead, he’s here to be – for lack of a better word – a rock. No matter what, he’s got their backs. We get some nice character stuff with him wandering around his old neighborhood interacting with the locals, where we see him filling the “monster with a heart of gold” role. The movie only hints at him longing to be a normal human, but I liked that it didn’t bring things down by dwelling on that. I don’t know that Ebon Moss-Bachrach’s voice fit the character design, but he had some nice comedic timing that managed to shine through all the CGI.
A few miserable people complained online about the movie having a female Silver Surfer. But as the movie progresses, it’s evident why the filmmakers made that decision. Galactus makes for a gigantic, imposing figure, and Ralph Ineson’s voice (with a lot of digital enhancement, I’m guessing) served the character well. And, as usual, New York City is a character. This retro future is a lot of fun. It’s steeped in 1960s style, but with all kinds of far-out tech. It’s what we all wanted that Tomorrowland movie to be, but that we never got. A lot of fans argue that the movie should’ve been set in the actual ’60s, but I disagree. Not only would that have broken MCU continuity, but it would have gone back to the characters feeling old-fashioned rather than contemporary.
Did anything in the movie NOT work for me?
Galactus is introduced as being an all-powerful god, but then the final battle is only about his size, with the heroes’ plan involving nothing but pushing him over.
If the opening montage established what Sue’s powers are, I must have missed it. Hope people weren’t confused the first time she turned invisible.
I actually didn’t hate H.E.R.B.I.E. in this, but they cut to him a little too often. And Griffin Newman really should have done the voice.
A whole bunch of other FF villains are mentioned but not seen, worrying me that this is all we’ll get of those characters on the big screen.
So, yeah, I enjoyed the movie. It did what it had to, informing audiences as to why they should care about the FF. It’s not as thematically rich as, say, Black Panther or Captain America: Civil War, but it’s also not as weightless and airy as The Marvels or Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Mostly, it’s great fun to see these characters on the big screen in a way that’s closer to how I know them after reading their adventures all these years.
Forgotten TV shows I still like. We’re beginning this blog series with Nickelodeon GUTS from 1992-1995. Except this isn’t really forgotten, and not really a favorite of mine. But hey, we’re just getting started. I promise some true obscurities in weeks to come.
Full disclosure: I did not watch GUTS back in the day. I didn’t really get into this show and others like it until the YouTube era (era), after they’d become huge nostalgia items. It’s pretty clunky when watching it from a modern viewpoint, but it has that early ‘90s kid power feel that is impossible to replicate.
Any given episode has three kid contestants, both boys and girls, competing in various physical challenges. The idea seems to be taking ordinary sports and jazzing them up in various ways, often using bungee cords (called “elastics” on this show) to pull off huge jumps. There were obstacle courses, cannons that shot footballs and baseballs, and a track for running/biking/skating. Later seasons introduced a wave pool and even a mini ski slope.
Every episode built to a big finale in which the kids climbed a manmade mountain called the Aggro Crag. The goal isn’t just about getting to the top first, but hitting a series of buttons (sorry, “actuators”) along the way. It kills the momentum whenever a player reaches the top but has to climb back down because they missed an actuator. The winning prize is a “piece of the Aggro Crag,” That sounds like crap, but it’s actually a gigantic trophy. I checked, and you can buy replicas of the trophy on eBay, but I don’t see any genuine ones.
Just what is the identity of this show? Double Dare was all silly and jokey, while Legends of the Hidden Temple had its Indiana Jones-like theming. You’d think GUTS would have messaging about physical fitness for kids, but there’s none of that. The goal of the series seems to be treating this as if it’s a serious sporting event. The hosts go on and on about how these games are strenuous challenges, and they weirdly describe these scrawny 12-year-olds as having awesome muscular physiques.
About those hosts. Mike O’Malley is hyper to the point of exhaustion, going overboard in selling this show as the most exciting thing you’ve ever seen. The real face of Nickelodeon GUTS, though, is referee and cohost Moira “Mo” Quirk. With her warm, friendly demeanor and her oh-so-proper English accent, it’s no wonder that kids (and some adults) developed crushes on her over the years. Allegedly, although Mo had an education in theater, she was a Universal Studios employee at the time. She got the hosting gig as part of her regular theme park duties, turning her into a TV star pretty much by accident. Not bad.
Other thoughts:
It’s hard to get a sense of just how big or small the GUTS arena was, but I doubt the tiny studio audience produced the wall of sound that is the constant cheering and applause that roars throughout every episode.
There are way, way too many cuts to the scoreboard to remind the audience of who’s winning. Most of these have to be filler, right?
In all the reading I’ve done about GUTS for the blog this week, I couldn’t find a single instance of serious injuries happening on set. Good job, GUTS safety team!
There we have it. GUTS is amusing to throw on an episode once in a while for a nostalgic laugh, but the sameness of episodes make it dull to binge-watch. There are four seasons, plus at least three spinoffs that I know of, so there’s lots of GUTS out there if you’re interested.
Nickelodeon GUTS can be found on Paramount Plus and on YouTube.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. As I started this re-read of Matt Fraction’s dual run on Fantastic Four and FF, I asked myself, “Wasn’t this the storyline where they met Julius Caesar?” Now we’ve reached that point in vol. 4 issue #5 legacy #616.
We begin with the family aboard their space-time ship, where Franklin and Valeria are putting on a little play telling the story of the time Julius Caesar was captured by pirates, only to turn the tables on them. It’s a little Addams Family-ish in that it’s a morbid tale told with kid humor. Sharp-eyed readers will notice Reed trying to make eye contact with Sue during the play and her refusing him, building on the previous issue’s “We need to talk” cliffhanger.
Turn the page, and we see that the ship is cloaked in the air over Rome in the year 44 B.C.E., the time of Caesar. Alone with Reed, Sue tells him that she’ll help him with his condition, but she also does not forgive him for keeping this secret from her. In the next room, Ben, Johnny, and the kids are dressed in ancient Roman costumes to go exploring. Reed and Sue tell the kids are saying they’re staying on the ship for some “mommy-daddy time.”
Cut to Julius Caesar, who has had a vision of two black birds killing a white bird. He believes this is a dire omen of his death. Turn the page and there’s Johnny, Ben and the kids, who have come to Caesar in the form of fortune tellers. This is one day before the fateful Ides of March where Caesar was betrayed and murdered. The kids try to warn him of this, just as other fortune tellers and seers have told him. Caesar counters by quoting Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar at them.
On board the ship, Reed further explains his condition to Sue, saying that his body is being overrun by hostile invading cells. He admits that their year-long expedition throughout space-time is a charade for him to search for a cure. He adds that the more they explore, the more he doesn’t know about his condition. Sue tells him he doesn’t have to fight this alone.
Julius Caesar leads the rest of the FF on a tour through Rome, as the crowds all chant “Hail, Caesar!” In an underground chamber, Caesar promises answers. He reveals what looks like a futuristic spacecraft. Purple mist comes out of his face (!) and he says, “I am not Caesar. Caesar is already dead.” He is an alien, and he explains that he came from the future just like the FF did, to witness Caesar in action. Except he saw young Caesar fall from an elephant and die (!). Fearing a paradox, the alien inhabited Caesar’s body and lived out his life. Ben and Johnny say they can’t just sit there and let the alien Caesar be murdered, but the alien says it’s too large of a historic event to avoid. As such, they are confronted by swordsmen who demand his presence at the Senate.
Back in the ship, Sue jokes about how all the children’s socks are wearing out at the same time. This has her questioning whether the rest of the family are sick with the same affliction as Reed. In Rome, we see the “Senate” is the Coliseum, and Johnny, Ben, and the kids are chained up in the center. A fiery monster named Cacus the Son of Vulcan is unleashed in the arena. Ben throws off his disguise, breaks the chains, and fights the monster – paradoxes be damned. He defeats the monster, but then we learn that Caesar was killed during the fight, just as history demanded. The alien is still alive, however, so the FF pose as the beggars who carried Caesar’s body out of Rome (a real thing, apparently). The alien says he’ll stay around to follow Emperor Octavian.
Back at the ship, the FF say goodbye to the alien. Johnny asks about the pirate incident that started this issue, but the alien admits, “It was before my time.” Cut to the present day, where a wealthy man named “Mr. Cotta,” reads an newspaper article about the replacement Fantastic Four led by Ant-Man in the concurrent FF series. (This is the first hint in Fantastic Four that something’s up back on Earth.) Mr. Cotta opens a hidden door in his office to reveal the alien’s ship. Mr. Cotta is really the Caesar alien, he says, “Caesar repays his debts. Always.”
To be continued!
Unstable molecule: Reed says he considered that his illness might be psychosomatic, but he dismissed that upon further examination.
Fade out: Sue has a very harsh line where she says Reed behaves like a human so well that sometimes she forgets “what you really are.” A few pages later, Sue comes around and says, “What we fight, we fight together.” And then she kisses him. Relationships gotta be so complicated.
Clobberin’ time: Ben continues to be morose and distant from his teammates. Johnny is taken aback at how brutally Ben clobbers the monster.
Flame on: Johnny tries to impress Caesar with some fire effects, to convince Caesar that he and his teammates are fortune tellers. The alien sees right through the ruse, though, recognizing the heroes as fellow time travelers.
Four and a half: In his presentation, Franklin portrays the pirates as speaking in classic “Arr” speech. That is NOT from Roman times. The pirate “Arr” was popularized in pop culture by 1950s pirate films like Treasure Island and Blackbeard the Pirate.
Our gal Val: History records that three beggars, not four, escorted Caesar’s body out of Rome. Therefore, Valeria hides under a blanket next to the alien, who is pretending to be Caesar’s corpse. It’s… odd.
Trivia time: The Marvel Wiki confirms that every appearance of Julius Caesar set between 49 B.C.E. and his “death” in 44 B.C.E. is in fact the alien Mr. Cotta posing as Caesar. This retcons Incredible Hulk #210, as Caesar’s Ides of March murder happens in that issue as well.
This is the only appearance of Cacus, so we have no idea where the monster came from. The Marvel Wiki argues that the monster is indeed somehow the biological son of Vulcan, Roman god of the underworld. Vulcan has been a recurring character in Thor, Hulk, and Guardians of the Galaxy.
Fantastic or frightful? I wonder if there’s too much story for one issue, so things had to be consolidated. Like, how do we go from saying we’re going to the Senate, and then immediately having our heroes chained up in the center of the Coliseum? Where did the fire-breathing monster come from? But the Caesar alien is a fun concept, very Dr. Who-ish.
Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In FF vol. 2 #4, we get a night out on the town, along with some good old-fashioned mischief.
The FF have taken off on a year-long exploration of time and space that was meant to be a year for them, but only four minutes on Earth. Except they didn’t reappear after those four minutes, leaving a temporary replacement FF – Ant-Man, She-Hulk, Medusa, and newcomer Darla Deering – to take care of the Future Foundation in their place. They then encountered an older Johnny Storm from the future, who spoke of a supervillain, the Avenging Doom. Ant-Man declared that to prevent this future from happening, the new team must confront Dr. Doom now.
We begin with a debate, where Alex Power asks what gives them the right to decide Dr. Doom’s fate, not to mention the fate of all Latveria. Ant-Man says Doom mustn’t be allowed to continue as he has been. When Alex suggests that Ant-Man blames Dr. Doom for the death of his daughter Cassie (this happened in the Children’s Crusade crossover), Ant-Man gives him a stern, “Get out.”
Elsewhere inside the new Baxter Building, She-Hulk is preparing for dinner with a friend, with the four Moloid kids pestering her about whether this is a date. She says it isn’t, but nonetheless tells them not to wait up. After she leaves, the Moloids admit that they’re in love with She-Hulk, so they go to Bentley-23 for help on disrupting their dinner.
Inside Reed’s lab, the older John Storm fails to recognize Reed’s inventions, and Medusa says she doesn’t believe he’s the real Human Torch. An argument breaks out, with Darla insisting it’s really him. Medusa takes Ant-Man aside and says she only made the accusation to see how he’d react. When Darla asks if John remembers her, he only says, “There were a lot of girls,” and he flies off.
She-Hulk meets Wyatt Wingfoot for dinner at a fancy French restaurant, while the Moloids and Bentley use a hypnotism device on the manager to sabotage dinner. It doesn’t work, as all the manager does is pay for all the customers’ meals. Afterward, She-Hulk and Wyatt go for a stroll by the lake in Central Park, while the kids follow underwater in a mini-submarine. The kids try to summon a monster, the “Lost Leviathan of New Amsterdam,” only to discover the creature is a weakling and not monstrous at all. She-Hulk and Wyatt then share a drink at a nearby bar, while Bentley proposes using one of Reed’s inventions, the “fantastic core,” which can instantly warm frozen planets. The increased heat inside the bar only makes for a festive atmosphere, though, so She-Hulk and Wyatt dance the night away. Walking back home, She-Hulk admits that Wyatt was the one who got away, and the man that all her other relationships have had to measure up to. Bentley drops the fantastic core, which makes the sky glow purple. She-Hulk and Jen makes the most of this magical moment, and they kiss.
Back in his bedroom, Bentley is fuming that his plans didn’t work, and the Moloids are no longer speaking to him. He feels like a failed supervillain. A mysterious voice encourages him. Turn the page and it’s Medusa, telling him she wants him to achieve his villainous destiny, and she’s going to help him do it.
To be continued?
Unstable molecule/fade out/clobberin’ time/flame on: There’s a flashback to Reed introducing the fantastic core to his teammates, only for it to blow up in Ben and Johnny’s faces when they horse around with it. This suggests that the device never worked as intended.
Fantastic fifth wheel: We see a newspaper front page showing the replacement Fantastic Four fighting the Miracle Man, who in turn is suing them for assault. It appears this story has never been told, and is here just to show us what the team has been up to between issues. She-Hulk tells the Foundation kids not to worry about the lawsuit.
She-Hulk says she and Wyatt almost got married once. This happened in the miniseries She-Hulk: Ceremony.
Medusa being sneaky and duplicitous (or is she?) hearkens back to her earliest Marvel appearances as a villain.
Foundational: Alex Power calls Ant-Man a “fascist,” which seems pretty extreme for the famously nice-boy Alex. I guess now that he’s nineteen, they’re making him a little edgier.
There’s a reference to the Future Foundation kids switching around the numbers on their uniforms as a prank to confuse Ant-Man. This is a little meta joke, referencing how the numbers had been drawn inconsistent in recent issues.
Trivia time: This is the only appearance of the Leviathan of New Amsterdam, although the Marvel Wiki provides some additional background info. The Wizard is the one who first discovered the existence of the creature, deeming it of no use in his evil schemes.
Fantastic or frightful? Fun cartoon-style antics with the Future Foundation kids, interesting developments for Medusa, and some nice character work for She-Hulk. It’s good for the series to have some breathing room to do stuff like this in the midst of a larger story.
macmcentire 