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Rewatching DuckTales! The series goes full-on disaster movie, in more ways than one, in episode 57, “The Uncrashable Hindentanic.”

Here’s what happens: Scrooge and rival millionaire Glomgold are at it again. They make a bet, with Glomgold saying he’ll sell Scrooge a piece of property that Scrooge is certain to lose money on. The property turns out to be an antique dirigible, or zeppelin, called the Hindentanic. It’s a wreck, but Scrooge is determined to get it up and flying again. Various members of the wealthy elite join the maiden flight, including aging actress Gloria Swansong and movie producer Irwin Mallard.

Launchpad has yet another plane crash, so Scrooge fires him before Launchpad gets a chance to pilot the Hindentanic. He’s replaced by Captain Foghorn (last seen in episode 21, “Bermuda Triangle Tangle”). The transatlantic flight gets under way, with Swansong trying to connive her way into Mallard’s new movie, and Glomgold stowing away in disguise to sabotage everything. The ship passes through a meteor shower (!), where Foghorn flees and Launchpad takes over as pilot.

After another series of mishaps caused by Glomgold, the ship starts leaking hot air. It lowers in the atmosphere and (of course) it hits an iceberg and sinks. It looks as though Scrooge has lost the bet, but Irwin Mallard filmed the whole thing for his newest disaster movie, which is a hit. Scrooge gets a cut of the cash, and everyone celebrates at the premiere.

Humbug: For Scrooge, this episode is all about his quick thinking, coming up with a solution for every problem that comes his way.

Junior Woodchucks: Huey, Dewey and Louie serve as bellhops aboard the ship, but then are later seen working in the engine room. I guess they’re just filling in wherever needed.

Fasten your seatbelts: Scrooge rehires Launchpad because, as he puts it, he needs someone both smart enough to repair the ship’s engine, but also dumb enough to climb onto the outside of the ship to do it. Launchpad also is a skilled skywriter, except that he misspells Hidentanic as “Hidenpanic.”

Maid and maiden: There’s a seriously unfortunate fat-shaming joke in this, where the ship needs ballast, so they just use Mrs. Beakeley. A real low point for show’s attempts at humor.

Foul fowls: Glomgold’s comeuppance happens offscreen. We know he lost the bet, but we don’t see him face any other consequences for his almost killing everyone.

Down in Duckburg: The opening scene has Scrooge buying useless used tires from Glomgold, only to sell them as tire swings for all the kids in town. He says he’s made “a fortune” from this.

Reference row: Almost too many references to count. The real-life tragedies of the Titanic and the Hindenburg are the most obvious, but the episode seems more interested in spoofing celebrities of different eras and backgrounds, including Gloria Swanson, Irwin Allen, John D. Rockefeller, Burt Bacharach, and Carl Sagan. I also wonder if the classic 1983 PC game Murder on the Zinderneuf could have been an influence.

Thoughts on this viewing: This episode is something of an outlier among DuckTales episodes. While most follow adventure-movie templates, this one is structured as a farce. It’s a bunch of subplots that crisscross with each other at various times for humorous impact. A few years after this, The Simpsons and Animaniacs would do the celebrity spoof humor much better.

Next: Check your status at the door.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Rewatching DuckTales! Time to get our classical literature freak on again in episode 56, “Duck in the Iron Mask.”

We begin at a softball game, where Dewey is up to bat, frustrated that the cheering audience thinks he’s Huey. (“I’m the one in blue-y!” he says.) He’s frustrated with everyone not knowing which triplet is which. He’s also enamored with a girl in the crowd named Becky Waddle, only to learn she doesn’t know which brother he is as well. Back at the mansion, Scrooge and Launchpad are investigating a country so small that it doesn’t appear on any maps, the tiny kingdom of Montedumas, run by old friend of Scrooge’s Count Roy. The two of them had many shwashbuckling adventures in their younger days. Scrooge wants to visit his old pal to make a business deal.

As everyone prepares for the trip, Dewey shows up with a whole new look.  He hopes his outrageous clothes will stop everyone from mistaking him for his brothers. Upon arriving in Montedumas, Scrooge discovers the people are living in an oppressive regime that taxes them mercilessly. He demands an audience with Count Roy, who acts as though he has never met Scrooge. For not paying the local taxes, Scrooge and Launchpad are locked up in a tower, while the nephews are locked up in a separate cell.

Inside jail, Scrooge and Launcpad meet the Duck in the Iron Mask, the country’s most feared criminal. Turns out Iron Mask is the real heir, and one on the throne is his evil twin brother. In the other cell, Dewey comes up with an escape plan, but one that requires the three boys to look alike. Using some conveniently-placed mirrors, Dewey tricks the guards into all three boys are in the cell, while Huey and Louie sneak out a chimeny.

Donning musketeer outfits, Huey and Louie help Scrooge, Launchpad, and Iron Mask escape from the tower. They rescue Dewey, and the whole group confronts the fake Count Roy and his guards. After much slapstick swordfighting, our heroes win the day. Count Roy yields, and Iron Mask retakes the kingdom as the Count of Montedumas. He provides Scrooge with a generous financial reward in hopes that Scrooge will invest it wisely. Huey and Louie praise Dewey for his ingenious escape plan, telling him, “You’re one of a kind.”

Humbug: The flashback to Scrooge’s younger days shows him during a time when fun and adventure were more important to him than his vast wealth.

Junior Woodchucks: In addition to his being fed up with being an identical triplet, Dewey is also portrayed as the smart one of three nephews, an expert in coming up with escape plans. The other two also have their own personalities this time. Louie is the heroic leader type, while Louie is the laid-back wisecracker.

Fasten your seatbelts: Launchpad’s helicopter has “L-11” painted on the side. I’m assuming that the “L” stands for Launchpad. A big dollar sign on the front of the helicopter, however, suggests that the copter is owned by Scrooge.

Foul fowls: Count Roy is a generic villain, overtaxing his people to make himself rich. More interesting his enforcer Pietro, played by go-to Disney villain Pete. This is Pete’s fourth appearance in DuckTales. Either there’s a whole family of Petes in this universe, or Pete is some master of disguise type.

Down in Duckburg: According to the Disney wiki, this is the only appearance of Becky Waddle, the girl with a crush on Huey (or maybe Dewey). It’s left to the imagination how this romance might have played out.

Reference row: Contrary to popular belief, author Alexandre Dumas never wrote a novel called Man in the Iron Mask. Rather, he wrote that story as the third part of his novel The Vicomte of Bragelonne, which itself was the third part of his Three Musketeers trilogy. Or, The Romances of D’Artagnan, if we’re being truly accurate. This episode is all about both the Man in the Iron Mask and the Three Musketeers overall.

Thoughts upon this viewing: It’s not often that that the show gives the three nephews distinct personalities, let alone an episode that emphasizes this. That alone makes this one a standout. All the Three Musketeers stuff is also a lot of fun. I would have liked the final swordfight to be more action-y and less jokey, but that’s DuckTales for you.

Next: “Jack!” “Rose!” “Jack!” “Rose!” “Jack!” “Rose!”

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Ever since the new team of Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo took over the series, it’s been lighthearted character-based stories. But now, in vol. 3 #67 legacy #496, it’s time to get serious.

We begin with Dr. Doom, but not a Doom we recognize. Instead of his famous armor and cloak, he’s wearing a simple suit with a plain metal mask over his face. He is consulting with a fortune-teller, who senses that his destiny was recently altered, and that he dwells on remorse. He explains that because of his genius, he has seen the whole of creation, but it has never truly brought him what he sought in life. He states, “A new life can begin.” The fortune-teller senses that Doom is referring to his lost love Valeria, who went into hiding after their last encounter. Doom says, “I will trade everything that I am for her love.”

We then see that Doom is in a tourist-y boardwalk in Cassamonte, Georgia, where there are a bunch of psychics around. Doom scoffs at them all for imitators of true magic-users. He also takes a moment to scoff at America in general, going on about how uncivilized it all is. He’s here because this where Valeria’s trail has gone cold.

At the next fortune-teller, Doom reflects on his youthful romance with Valeria. She was there to comfort him when his mother died, and the two of them found his father’s secret stash of magical books and items. They both studied Doom’s father’s work. Doom combines magic and science, while Valeria becomes an accomplished Sorceress. They fought to protect their families from outsiders, until an American man came and offered Doom the change for an education in NYC. The flashback ends, and Doom gives the fortune-teller crap for “cheapening” the art of divination.

At his hotel, Doom has an encounter with a woman and a small child. The child breaks out crying in Doom’s presence, even though the child is blind, and therefore not frightened by Doom’s mask. In his hotel room, with all the electronics unplugged, Doom lays out some Tarot cards, focusing on one, marked “The Star.”

The next day, Doom consults yet another fortune-teller, which means it’s time for another flashback. Familial obligations meant that Valeria could not join Doom for college in the U.S. She begged him stay, be he left in hopes gaining more knowledge and power. She gave him an ultimatum – his college life or life with her. So he left her behind. Then it’s the part of the story we’re more familiar with, Doom using a combination of experimental science and dark magic to find his mother’s soul in the afterlife. The whole thing blows up in his face. He’s forever scarred, and he blames that darned Reed Richards for interfering.

The flashback ends, and this fortune-teller reveals she’s no phony, but a genuine sorceress. She tells him Valeria’s house is just down the street, and she knows Doom is in town searching for her. Doom confronts Valeria, giving her a locket with photos (paintings?) of the two of them inside. He asks her to come back to Latveria with him. He says he has removed his famous armor to no longer be the man he once was. With Valeria, he can be a new man.

To prove his point, Doom removes his mask in front of her. (His face remains in shadow for the readers.) She doesn’t react in horror, and Doom takes this to mean that she still has feelings for him. He reiterates how he has changed, and that he’s willing to renounce science if she merely takes his hand. “Your love will make me a changed man,” he says. After another moment of indecision, Valeria gives in and takes his hand.

The locket then flows with green light, and creepy runes appear all over Valeria’s skin. Doom says that when he was young, he chose science over sorcery, but now she’s going back on that choice. He further explains that he’s recently been in contact with a group of netherdemons who promised to make him a great magician, but only if he sacrificed something of great value – something only Valeria could give him.

Then things get really weird. Valeria’s flesh separates from her body, leaving only a skeleton behind. Valeria’s skin wraps around Doom, forming a new set of armor, complete with some of the glowing runes. “I will miss you more than any will ever imagine,” Doom says, “but I will always hold you close to me.”

Unstable molecule: We could almost call this the second Dr. Doom only issue of Fantastic Four, except Reed does appear in two panels in the flashback. Another flashback panel is of Doom fighting all four of the FF, and that’s all we get of our heroes this issue.

Our gal Val: This issue makes no mention of Doom insisting that Reed and Sue name their daughter Valeria in exchange for his saving her and Sue’s lives. Rest assured, though, that this fact will be brought up before this story arc is over.

Commercial break: Heck yeah Heroclix! The Hulk one got stronger the more damage it took.

Trivia time: Tracking Valeria’s story through Marvel history is a little tricky. Their romance was initially told in an expanded retelling of Doom’s origin in Marvel Super Heroes #20. They were first reunited when Diablo kidnapped her and Doom came to her rescue. When she saw the man Doom had become, she rejected him. Later, in Incredible Hulk #144, when Doom succeeded in mind-controlling the Hulk, he hoped this would impress Valeria. Valeria sabotaged Doom’s plan, rejecting him again. Even though she convinced the Hulk not to kill Doom in the final battle, she then went into hiding in the end. As of this writing, Valeria has never returned, remaining dead to this day.

What inspired this change of heart for Dr. Doom? We don’t really know at this point. His last appearance before this was in Standoff, an Avengers-based crossover where he attempted to conquer the country of Slokovia while the Avengers fought amongst themselves.

Based on my cursory googling, the star card of the Tarot usually represents a hopeful future with bright prospects, but some sources say quite the opposite, symbolizing loss, theft, and abandonment.

Fantastic or frightful? It seems goofy at the start of the issue to see Dr. Doom walking around in a suit talking to fortune-tellers, but the story reveals a reason for it all. The ending is one of the most notorious Dr. Doom scenes, and one that a lot of comic fans point to as being among the height of his villainy. It also promises big things to come as the series gears up for the big 500th issue.

Next: Baby’s first supervillain.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Rewatching DuckTales! A major character in the Disney duck mythology finally makes his presence known in the series, in episode 55, “Dime Enough for Luck.”

Here’s what happens: Scrooge is spending a leisurely brunch with a relative, Gladstone Gander. Gladstone claims he always has good luck everywhere he goes. He asks for Scrooge with help paying his rent, and Scrooge refuses. Scrooge is also preoccupied because he’s heard Magica De Spell is in town, and he fears she’ll come after his money. Magica is nearby, eavesdropping on them. Scrooge says he’s recently implemented a bunch of new security traps to keep Magica out, but he’ll let Gander inside to take a, well, gander at the source of Scrooge’s own luck – his number one dime.

Later, Magica contacts Gladstone, tricking him into thinking he’s won a contest. (He wins contests everywhere he goes.) She mesmerizes him into doing her evil bidding. Using his luck, Gladstone bumbles his way through all of Scrooge’s traps inside the Money Bin, allowing Magica to swoop in and steal the number one dime. She tells him that he’s lost his luck because he used it for a wicked purpose.

The next day (no word on how Gladstone got back out of the Money Bin), Gladstone discovers he has indeed lost his luck, as misfortune follows him during his day. Scrooge, meanwhile, is also having bad luck, with his many businesses suffering calamities. Gladstone shows up Scrooge’s house and they compare notes. Scrooge insists that Gladstone make up for what he’s done by recovering the dime. They hop on a plane and fly to Magica’s island fortress.

Scrooge and Gladstone make their way through the caverns in Magica’s island, fighting off a fire breathing rabbit (!) and other death traps. Scrooge and Gladstone confront Magica. Scrooge distracts Magica while Gladstone recovers the dime. Now Magica is the one with bad luck, as he spells backfire on her. Back home, Gladstone almost rethinks his reliance on his good luck, only to win tickets to a worldwide cruise out of nowhere. He offers to buy Scrooge breakfast.  

Glad to be here: Gladstone Gander was a main character in the duck comics that inspired DuckTales, but his appearances in the show are few. His comics history emphasizes his unnatural good luck, but he was also something of a rival for Donald, often succeeding where Donald failed and even putting the moves on Daisy Duck. I’m unclear on how he is related to Scrooge. Some sources say he’s a distant cousin, but others say that Scrooge is Gladstone great uncle-in-law. He refers to Scrooge as “Uncle” throughout this episode.

Humbug: To travel to Magica’s island, Scrooge flies the plane himself, without needing Launchpad.

Down in Duckburg: In the past, we’ve seen Scrooge keep the number one dime in its display case in his mansion. In this episode, though, the dime and display case are now inside the Money Bin with the rest of the money. I assume Scrooge moved it there after he heard Magica was in town.

Foul fowls: Magica has filled her island with death traps similar to Scrooge’s security traps, suggesting that the two of them are more similar than we thought.

Reference row: In his mesmerized state, Gladstone hallucinates that he’s on a game show hosted by Bill Barker. This is clearly a spoof of Bob Barker, celebrity host of The Price is Right.

Thoughts upon this viewing: Introducing Gladstone Gander to the series is a nice tip of the hat to Disney history. It’s too bad the show’s creators didn’t use him more, because he brings a fun, quirky energy to this episode.

Next: Iron Duck.

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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Like all stories about corporate espionage, vol. 3 #66 legacy #495 ends with a giant blog and giant bugs.

In the previous issue, Johnny, in his new role as the FF’s chief financial officer, uncovered industrial espionage involving the team’s unstable molecule tech. But when a rival businessman swiped some unstable molecule fabric, he put in a lab, where the fabric became even more unstable, growing wildly out of control. As the issue begins, Johnny provides a little more explanation, saying the molecules are adapting to anything they touch, rapidly transforming them molecule-by-molecule. Johnny, his assistant Jian, and rival businessman Suarti escape Suarti’s building, which is rabidly being consumed by blob-like molecules.

Back at the new Baxter Building, Reed and a partially-shrunken Ben continue to fight the giant insect that followed the team home from an adventure in another dimension. Reed aims his shrinking machine at the insect, only for it short out at the last minute. Reed finds Sue driving along a country road (where is she?). He gives Jian Sue’s car and flies off with Sue. Then we’re back with Reed and Ben, where Reed reconfigures the shrinking ray to the opposite, growing Ben to gigantic size. With his new size comes new strength, and he punches out the insect.

At Suarti’s building, Johnny wants to Sue to surround the building with a force field. She says she’s not able to do a force field that big (what’s not mentioned is how she once surrounded all of Manhattan in force field). They briefly bicker about this being his fault with how he ran the FF’s business, and he argues that she’s the one who should have known better. He tells her she’s the one who needs to be responsible, so she tries the force field, sealing the entire building.

At HQ, Ben sends the insect back through a portal, to its home dimension. Reed gets a call from Johnny, and rushes off to get the unstable molecules under control. This leaves Ben stuck in the room in his giant state. He tries using the shrinking machine to get himself back to normal size, only to shrink himself all teeny-tiny.

Later, Sue does some damage control at the FF office, finding a comprehensive business plan written by Johnny and Jian. She says it’s filled with good ideas. She promotes Jian with a raise, and says she’ll keep Johnny on as financial manager on a provisional basis. Johnny says he can do the job, stating “I’m not always fourteen.” Sue says the job has some perks, as she puts Johnny on the phone with Ben as Ben asks for an increase in his allowance.

Unstable molecule: The insect manages to bite Reed in the arm, injuring him. This is a rare instance of his stretchy powers not able to block something sharp from hurting him.

Fade out: I don’t recall seeing this blue convertible sports car of Sue’s. She did have a cool car during Heroes Reborn, though, so maybe this is her retaining some memories from her time in that other universe.

Clobberin’ time: If Ben owns 25 percent of Fantastic Four Inc., then why does he have to come to them asking for an allowance? Maybe he’s the one who needs help with money management, not Johnny.

Flame on: Johnny’s assistant/coworker Jian will later return in the 2003 Human Torch solo series, where it’s suggested that she and Johnny have a bit of a romance brewing. Her only other appearance will be in issue #525, which briefly revisits Johnny’s businessman subplot.

Commercial break: Cereal should not be lime green.

Trivia time: This is the final appearance of businessman Jacob Suarti, as well as industrial saboteurs Ethan and Christi. This issue’s wrap-up reveals that Ethan and Chrisi were fired, and Suarti is off to prison. While the Marvel wiki identifies the alien insect as a “Leviote,” it has no entry in the wiki.

Fantastic or frightful? I’m not sure that I get the moral here. Sue wanted Johnny to learn responsibility, but she’s the one who really needs to learn responsibility? When has she ever been irresponsible? All the plot threads get wrapped up in a nice bow, and there’s some fun bits along the way, however, so I guess it’s all good.

Next: Skin job.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Rewatching DuckTales! The show is usually not much for continuity, but in episode 54 we get an origin story in “Launchpad’s First Crash.”

Here’s what happens: While flying a shipment of dynamite cross country, Launchpad and Scrooge crash land in the desert. Launchpad announces that this is their 100th crash together. Around the campfire, they reminisce about their first meeting. Young Scrooge hired Young Launchpad for a dangerous rainforest expedition, thanks to Launchpad’s fearlessness and cheapness. The adventure has them flying through the Earth’s core (!) and then captured by a tribe of all-female Amazons. The Amazons use Scrooge and Launchpad as bait to capture a giant crab monster, and then put them to work as their servants.

Launchpad and Scrooge attempt an escape, facing another monster and an Amazon warrior along the way. They crash land near an all-male tribe, and are then attacked by giant bats in a cave. Launchpad drives off the bats with his harmonica. Scrooge finds a treasure trove of diamonds inside the cave, only to cause a cave in that buries everyone in the diamonds.

Launchpad escapes the cave-in, and reunites the two tribes to rescue Scrooge and the warrior.  After more running around, Scrooge and the warrior are saved and the two tribes have peace. Scrooge and Launchpad fly through the Earth’s core again (!), except that Scrooge has to dump all the diamonds to get home. Back in the present, Scrooge thanks Launchpad for his willingness to always fly into the impossible.

Humbug: My thesis is that the series-long arc of DuckTales is Scrooge learning that his family and friends are more important than his money. But this is young Scrooge, who’s less miserly and more cavalier. In the frame story, he shows appreciation for everything Launchpad does, rather than insult him every time they crash.

Fasten your seatbelts: Young Launchpad is also an engineer, having built his plane from scratch. The episode ends with it in a museum, honored as the first airplane to fly through the Earth’s core.

Fowl fouls: While the Amazons seem villainous at first, they’re shown to be sympathetic later on. I guess that means the bats are this episode’s antagonist.

Reference row: The premise of transporting cargo of unstable explosives through treacherous terrain has been done lots of times, popularized mostly thanks to the 1953 thriller Wages of Fear.

Thoughts upon this viewing: This is how Launchpad and Scrooge first met, but that meeting was pretty basic. It’s all a setup for the jungle adventure, which is a lot of chases and escapes, but little character development.

Next: Glad to be here.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In vol. 3 #65 legacy 494, artist Mark Buckingham fills in for the first of two issues, as we continue to deep dive into the FF’s finances.

To teach Johnny some responsibility, Sue has named him to new chief financial officer of Fantastic Four, Inc. Johnny works out a deal to license the FF’s unstable molecule technology to a rich businessman named Suarti, while two executives, Ethan and Christi, plot to make Johnny look bad for their own gain. This issue begins with some hijinks where Ben discovers a giant insect in the new Baxter Building’s kitchen. He chases it around for a bit before it disappears. Reed reminds Ben that the team recently traveled to a “Leviaverse,” where they battled some insectoid creatures. One followed them home, and is now hiding somewhere in the building.

Then there’s more comedy with Johnny and his assistant Jian stuck in traffic while on their way to meet Suarti. He uses a FF universal parking badge to park illegally and then flies himself and Jian to the meeting. Later, Sue learns that Johnny licensed the unstable molecules, and she is upset. Christi lies and says she and Ethan tried to stop Johnny, but Johnny wouldn’t have it. This scene also states that Reed went ahead and gave Johnny the unstable molecules for the deal. This isn’t really followed up on, because Reed is hard at work tracking the alien insect. Reed says the insect can’t be detected by sensors, so he sends Ben into the building’s ventilation system to hunt for it. To get into the ventilation, Reed uses a shrink ray to shrink Ben down to what looks like child-size.

Johnny meets with Suarti, showing off fabric made from unstable molecules. Johnny says the FF will not disclose how the molecules are made, but they will “encode” them for Suarti’s use. Johnny further says that the molecules are only to sold to police and firefighters, and that the good PR will result in big profit. Ethan and Christi prepare to call Sue to rat out Johnny, while Suarti takes the unstable molecule fabric to a high-tech lab with orders to reverse engineer it.

At HQ, Ben finds the insect in the ventilation system. They fight, but Ben finds that his strength is lessened when he shrunk, giving the insect the advantage in the fight. In Suarti’s lab, a scientist uses an electron microscope to zoom in on the unstable molecules, only find the words “If you can read this, you have just violated our contracted,” written on individual particles. The fabric transforms into a big green blob that wraps up Suarti. Johnny shows back up, with Christi and Ethan trapped in his flames. Johnny explains that Reed programmed with unstable molecules to react defensively if excessively probed. He also says he’s known all along about Christ and Ethan’s machinations. He says, “You think you’re masters of subterfuge? I deal with Skrulls. A little credit here.”

Then more exposition as Johnny says producing unstable molecules for mass market use would be too expensive. Also, he says if they are ever fully unlocked, it could be dangerous. Then a scientist bursts from the lab in a panic. Energy from the fabric has expanded, and the entire lab is now all green and goopy, including another scientist. Johnny says that once unlocked, the molecules begin a chain reaction, and now the instability is spreading.

To be continued!

Wait, there’s more: This time we have a four-page preview of Avengers #65. The town of Keystone, South Dakota is being evacuated in a biohazard emergency. Captain America and the Vision manage to rescue a little boy, but they weren’t there in time to save the kid’s mother.

Unstable molecule: Reed states that the mysterious nightmare attack on Franklin and Valeria in issue #61 remains unexplained. For readers, this confirms that it was not Modulus’ doing, but something we haven’t yet encountered.

Fade out: Sue is furious when she learns about Johnny causing a stir within the family business, but then Reed is quick to remind her that the whole thing was her idea.

Clobberin’ time: Why does Ben lose strength when he shrinks? According to our old friend The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Deluxe Edition, when you shrink, your excess mass is temporarily shunted into a non-Einsteinian parallel universe where it is temporarily stored safely until you return to normal size. Makes perfect sense.

Flame on: Look closely, and you can see that Johnny’s universal parking pass was signed by then-NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Does a city mayor even have authority over parking?

Commercial break: Anybody out there actually play this?

Trivia time: This insect creature is the same one seen hitching a ride with the FF after their fight with the Datavore in issue #60.

The Marvel Wiki insists that the shrinking machine is the same one from way back in issue #10. I suppose this is yet another of the FF’s personal keepsakes that the Watcher saved for them after destruction of the original Baxter Building.

That Avengers issue was the first part of the epic “Red Zone” storyline. This one in particular is about the U.S. Military trying to keep out of the area of the bio-attack, only for the Avengers to don special hazmat suits and investigate on their own. It’ll later be revealed that the attack was secretly started from within by a US agent named Dell Rusk. Even later, it’s revealed that Rusk is the Red Skull in disguise. The story eventually ends with the Avengers defeating the Red Skull while Iron Man and Wakandan scientists neutralize the bioweapon.

Fantastic or frightful? This is pretty simplistic for a corporate espionage story, but I do like that Johnny isn’t dimwitted, but instead comes out on top. Writer Mark Waid wanted his Fantastic Four stories to be character-focused, and that’s what we get here.

Next: Goop lab.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The “Sentient” storyline concludes in vol. 3 #64 legacy 493, for more math-lecture-gone-wrong action.

Reed invented a new type of PDA with unlimited computing power, thanks to it being tied to an alternate universe. This inadvertently created Modulus, an electrochemical being that is Reed’s mathematics come to life. To stop Modulus, Reed has entered that alternate dimension to find the equation to… himself. As this issue begins, Johnny and Ben stay behind to fight Modulus. Ben appears to retreat, but it’s all strategy to create more distance between Modulus and Reed.

In the other universe, Reed is at work creating a mathematically perfect copy of himself. Sue wants to take Franklin and Valeria away from the Baxter Building for safety, but Modulus has trapped them in there. He has hacked the FF’s communicators to control all their tech. Out in the street, Ben and Johnny lead Modulus into an abandoned building, which Johnny calls “the one piece of Manhattan real estate without a Starbucks.” Modulus uses his ability to separate objects into their basic components, and brings the entire structure down on them. Johnny is knocked unconscious, and it takes all of Ben’s strength to keep the rubble from crushing them both.

At HQ, Sue tries to use the FF’s transporter to send Franklin and Valeria to the moon for safety (remember the Inhumans are living on the moon again). Modulus attacks, destroying the transporter. Modulus knocks out Sue and chases Franklin into Reed’s lab. Modulus encounters Reed, and proclaims that he and Reed are a sum of one. But then we see that “Reed” is the simulation of Reed that the real Reed created in the other universe. Reed says Modulus and the simulation are equals. Reed and Modulus fight, trashing the lab. Reed says that he will always be one greater than Modulus, because Modulus cannot subtract or divide Reed’s love for his family. Modulus calms down, and connects with the simulation. They both disappear into the PDA, which Reed then shuts off.

Later, Reed’s lab will have to be rebuilt, but Sue’s injured hand is still able to be returned to normal. Reed and Franklin have gone off alone, with Johnny worrying that Reed is punishing Franklin for messing the PDA. Instead, we see Franklin teaching Reed how to a play a Magic: The Gathering-style card game.  The logical Reed is baffled by the game’s fantasy-themed rules, but as Franklin explains it to him, Reed says, “You’re a good teacher.”

Wait, there’s more: In a three-page preview of Incredible Hulk #50, the Abomination is kept imprisoned in a secret underground bunker. A mysterious woman offers the Abomination freedom if he can defeat the Hulk once and for all.

Unstable molecule: When trying to create a simulation of himself, Reed asks Sue whether he can carry a tune. She assures him he cannot.

Fade out: Modulus is able to knock Sue unconscious by forcing its hand through her force field. This follows up on her feeling psychic feedback from her force fields being struck a few issues earlier.

Clobberin’ time: This issue’s letters page has a follow-ups to issue #61. A letter writer expresses concern about Ben rampaging through New York so soon after Sept. 11, 2001. Assistant Editor Mark Sumerak states that off-panel, Ben went back and paid for all damages, and then served voluntary community service to further make up for what he’d done.

Flame on: The letters page also addresses issue #61’s revelation that Johnny was the one really behind all of the Yancy Street Gang’s pranks on Ben over the years. Sumerak dials back on that, stating that only some of the pranks were from Johnny, and that the real YSG will still be on hand to pester Ben in the future.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Crystal gets mentioned as still living on the moon with the rest of the Inhumans, and still acting as the kids’ babysitter on occasion.

Four and a half: Items in Franklin’s room this time around include posters of Captain America and the Vision, some baseball paraphernalia, and both an action figure and poster of Ben.

Our gal Val: Modulus ignores Valeria in its pursuit of Franklin, but the baby watches it fly over her with great interest. This perhaps suggests where they’ll take her character in the future.

Commercial break: “But Ratchet, the nice man on the television said to, ‘stay tuned.’”

Trivia time: This three-issue arc is the only appearance of Modulus. That’s too bad, as I can see him going up against some of Marvel’s other science-genius heroes, like Iron Man, Amadeus Cho, or even Spidey.  

This issue’s letters page credits writer Gail Simone for the “notion” of this story. Make of that what you will.

What’s going on in Incredible Hulk #50? Bruce Banner, in full The Fugitive mode, is seduced by the sinister Nadia Dornova, long-lost wife of the Abomination. The mystery woman in the underground base is Agent S-3, who uses footage of Nadia and Bruce to enrage the Abomination and convince him to fight the hulk. The big fight doesn’t happen until issue #55, and it’s not until issue #62 that agent S-2 is revealed to be Bruce’s first love, Betty Brant, back from the dead.

Fantastic or frightful? The storyline ends just as the previous issue promised us it would end, with no additional twists or surprises. This leaves me with the thought that, despite everything that happens, this whole thing is just another day at the office for our heroes.

Next: Fun and profit.

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