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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. We all love superhero battles, but what do the characters go through in the days following a superhero battle? That’s the question in issue #501. Also, guest artist Casey Jones (not the Ninja Turtle guy, I’m assuming) fills in for Mike Wieringo.

The previous issue was an all-out battle with Dr. Doom to rescue Franklin from an evil hell-world. The FF won in the end, but not without cost – the least of which is Doom mangling Reed’s face to Reed will forever be reminded of him. This issue begins revealing that Franklin hasn’t spoken since his rescue, writing “Things are bad” in his journal. A doctor visits, and says Reed won’t be able to come up with a scientific miracle cure this time. Franklin’s road to well-being will take patience.

Franklin’s not the only one. We see that Johnny was burned by hellfire last issue, which can hurt him in ways that an earthly fire cannot. Johnny asks why Reed can’t use his powers to reshape the scarring on his face, and Reed answers that the scars contain nerve damage, making it impossible to stretch them. He adds that his stretchy powers make conventional cosmetic surgery similarly impossible. Ben hangs out alone in his room, and we see that damage on his rocky skin left over from the battle.

Later, Sue takes Franklin out for a fun day Coney Island, in hopes of getting Franklin to come out of his shell. Ben joins them, with Sue keeping him invisible the whole time so they don’t attract attention. After some fun slapstick with invisible Ben bumbling around, Sue worries that Reed is going to obsess over what Doom has done to them all.

At the new Baxter Building, Reed is doing just that. Johnny makes a pretense of cleaning up the place after the battle, grabbing a laser gun and setting off Doom’s old time machine, still inside Reed’s lab after all these years. Reed, Johnny, and baby Valeria travel through the time machine to years earlier, in Hungary. They find young Victyor von Doom, having a picnic with his love, Valeria. (No, not the baby. The original Valeria the baby was named after.) Johnny arms the laser rifle, suggesting that they take out Doom there, in the past, before Doom becomes evil.

Back at Coney Island, some jerk tries to hit on Sue, so she turns Ben visible to scare him off. When the rest of crowd realizes it’s Ben and Sue, a crowd surrounds them and asks for autographs. Franklin loses it. He swings punches at the fans and he finally speaks, yelling “Get the **** away from us!”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says he’s not accompanying the family to Coney Island, not because he’s embarrassed by his scars, but because his new face frightens his own son. Dark stuff, dude.

Fade out: Although concerned about Franklin, Sue agrees to sign autographs for the fans, calling it “two minutes of P.R.”

Clobberin’ time: Ben tries to ride the Ferris wheel at Coney Island, but he’s too heavy for it. Remember that our old friend The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Deluxe Edition, Ben weighs 500 pounds.

Flame on: I’m unclear on the nature of Johnny’s injuries. He spends the first part of the issue wearing a high-tech cast over one arm, then later he’s walking around in a crutch without the cast.

Four and a half: In addition to writing cryptic things in his journal, Franklin is also drawing pictures of what he saw in the hell-world. We don’t see the drawings, but they unsettle his family.

Our gal Val: It’s an odd choice to have baby Valeria come along on the time travel adventure. I guess no one was available to babysit.

Commercial break: Gross.

Trivia time: Coney Island is a favorite locale for superhero battles in the Marvel Universe, going all the way back to 1940s Captain America and Human Torch comics (that’s the WWII android Human Torch, not Johnny). Spider-Man and Captain America appear to have visited Coney Island the most, and Iron Man had his official headquarters at Coney Island for a time. Coney Island even has its own group of villains, the Coney Island Cruisers, led by the man known only as… Bobo.   

Reed warns against Johnny going back in time to mess with Davy Crockett again. Johnny’s unseen adventure with Davy Crockett was last referenced in vol. 3 #60.

Speaking of which, how does the new Baxter Building have Dr. Doom’s old time machine? I think of two possibilities. One is that when Noah Baxter and his team made the building, they used their science genius to recreate the time machine. The other is that when the Watcher saved some of the FF’s personal items from the destruction of the original Baxter Building, he also saved the time machine for some reason.

Fantastic or frightful? Despite some humorous moments, this issue takes a pretty deep look at all the emotional weight these characters are carrying around, and the extremes they’re going through to deal with it. A lot of superhero comics skip over this stuff in favor of kicking off another adventure, but I like the occasional “what they do in their down time” story.

Next: Heart to heart.

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Rewatching DuckTales! Time for adventure on the high seas as the series goes full Red October in episode sixty-two, “Spies in Their Eyes.”

Here’s what happens: We catch up with Donald Duck, who is accompanying Admiral Grimitz in testing out a new experimental submarine. He’s also meeting up with Scrooge and the nephews while his ship is in Singapore. There’s also international espionage afoot as Donald is being followed by femme fatale Cinnamon Teal, who wants info on the sub. We learn that Scrooge secretly funded the new sub, and he too wants info on its performance.

Cinnamon uses her powers of hypnosis to mesmerize Donald. Under her control, he steals the computer for the sub and returns it, getting spotted by the security cameras. Cinnamon makes it so that he doesn’t remember any of this. Donald is arrested by the Navy, and Cinnamon turns the computer over to another to another villain, Victor. Scrooge and boys refuse to believe Donald is a spy, so they investigate. Scrooge confronts Cinnamon, who isn’t all that bad, it turns out. Victor was blackmailing her, so she and Scrooge decide to work together.

Scrooge and Cinnamon go to Grimitz where she demonstrates her hypnosis powers, proving Donald innocent. Victor then uses the computer to steal the submarine. Hoping to make matters right, Donald sneaks aboard the sub. Victor fires on Grimitz’s ship, but Scrooge lures the torpedoes away with a speedboat. Then it’s Cinnamon, and not Donald, who stops Victor by hypnotizing him through the sub’s periscope. Donald destroys what he thinks are his court-marital papers, only to learn he instead accidentally ripped up Scrooge’s contract to build more submarines.

Humbug: As a seasoned adventurer, Scrooge is prepared for Cinnamon’s hypnosis powers. He’s quick to put on a pair of anti-hypnosis sunglasses before she can try her tricks on him.

Junior Woodchucks: While at the Cloak and Dagger Club, which is filled with spies, the nephews get into the spy game in a big way. They get money for dishing out information, and then getting that money taken away for other information.

In the Navy: There are a few lines of dialogue stating that Donald’s Navy service has actually helped him become a more competent, self-confident person. But, he’s still not the one who saves the day at the end.

Foul fowls: It’s unclear what Victor wants, exactly. As soon he gets control of the submarine, his first move is to attack the U.S. Navy singlehandedly. I guess he’s less of a spy and more of a trigger-happy madman.

Reference row: Victor’s full name is Victor Luzer, which would seem to be a parody of Victor Laszlo from Casablanca. But he doesn’t anything like the Casablanca guy, unless that movie had a blackmailing/hypnosis subplot I don’t remember.

Thoughts on this viewing: I liked all spy movie parody gags in this, and I’m always up for some submarine action. Unfortunately, the Singapore setting means a lot of massively unfortunate Asian stereotypes. And I remain perplexed about how this is supposed a spotlight episode for Donald, only for the other characters to save the day in the end.

Next: Blot it out.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!

Rewatching DuckTales! My thesis is that the series-long character arc of DuckTales is not about Scrooge McDuck being a rich jerk, but about him learning that his family is more important than his money. There’s no better example of this than in episode 61, “Once Upon a Dime.”

Here’s what happens: It’s July 1, which is somehow both “Kilt Day” and “Dime Polishing Day.” Dressed in a classic Scottish kilt, Scrooge is ready to polish his lucky Number One Dime, only to find it replaced with an ordinary quarter. Huey reveals that he’s the one who took the dime, and he gives it back to Scrooge. He and his brothers replaced it with what they believe is their lucky quarter. They boys question how one dime could possibly be responsible for all of Scrooge’s wealth and good fortune, so he promises to tell them the tale.

Flashback to old-timey Scotland, where young Scrooge aspires to greatness, but must start at the bottom as a lowly shoeshine boy. His first tip is the one and only Number One Dime. Scrooge’s parents think ten cents is worthless, but Scrooge sees the dime as a symbol for greatness. After whipping a homemade shoe-shining machine, Scrooge makes enough money to start a new life in America. He’s arrested for wearing a kilt in public (!) and he meets the Beagle Boys for the first time when in jail. He’s reunited with his long-lost uncle Catfish McDuck, who is not rich but in huge debt.

At this point, the episode becomes a series of repetitive skits, in which Scrooge comes up with whimsical money-making solutions to his problems:

• Scrooge saves his uncle’s business by entering the two of them in a riverboat race.

• Scrooge travels to the Klondike, making a fortune in the Gold Rush. (These scenes take place just before the flashback seen in episode 23, “Back to the Klondike.”)

• Scrooge buys timberland in Oklahoma, only to find it treeless. When he buries his Number One Dime for safe-keeping, he accidentally strikes oil.  

• Scrooge buys a worthless coal field in Africa. He gets a bunch of elephants to stampede over the coal, crushing it all into valuable diamonds.

Scrooge then builds the famous Money Bin and lives in Duckburg. But without a family, he felt lonely, not rich. He says that he did not truly feel rich until the day that his three nephews, Webby, and Mrs. Beakley came to live him, so he had a family to share his wealth with. But he’s still not going to give the boys a raise in their allowance.

Humbug: A running gag in this episode is Scrooge’s failed attempts at being a bagpipe musician. He gives up on this dream pretty quick in favor getting a “real job,” although he keeps the bagpipes with him. Are the bagpipes his Rosebud?

Junior woodchucks: Huey believes his quarter is lucky, because at the arcade, he got a high score on “Ducky Kong” and the machine gave him the quarter back. Somebody at Disney needs to make a real-life Ducky Kong game right away.

Foul fowls: The Beagle Boys in the flashback are Old West-themed, Wild Bill Beagle, Butch Beagle, and third unnamed one that the Disney Wiki just called “frontier Beagle Boy.”

Down in Duckburg: In this episode, Scrooge keeps his Number One Dime’s glass case on a fireplace mantle. In past ones, it’s been in a room of its own, in a hallway, and inside the Money Bin. I guess he just likes moving it from place to place.

Reference row: This one digs in deep adapting stories from the classic Uncle Scrooge comics by legendary artist Carl Barks. Some have theorized this episode inspired Don Rosa’s graphic novel The Complete Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, which attempts to connect the classic Duck comics into a single continuity.

Thoughts on this viewing: Subtext becomes text. Scrooge’s money doesn’t bring him joy, his family does. That’s a nice sentiment for this episode, but does the series as a whole reflect this? That’s the question. In a smaller-picture view, this is a bunch of short stories that aren’t that great. The riverboat race is a Southern plantation setting, which is problematic at best, monstrous at worst. Scrooge making his fortune on comedic schemes really stretches the cartoon logic. And where’s all the Indiana Jones-style treasure hunting? Isn’t that where he got his fortune? So, this is a mess of an episode with its heart in the right place.

Next: The hunt for duck October.

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Rewatching DuckTales! The show does its own little League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by reviving our favorite old-timey English characters in episode 60, “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. McDuck.”

Here’s what happens: In England, notorious thief Jack the Tripper hides from police inside the abandoned estate of Dr. Jekyll, and he hatches a plan. Later, at an auction, Scrooge bids on a mystery box, only to find it full of antique clothes and some cologne. The cologne has a strange effect on Scrooge, making him spend his money and even give it away, rather than keep it all for himself.

After chasing Scrooge around town as he gives away money, the effect of the cologne wears off, and Jack appears, tripping Scrooge and taking the cologne. The boys learn that the mystery box came from England, while Scrooge feels the effects of the cologne again. When he comes to again, he and the boys head for London. There, Jack is using the cologne to trick rich folks into handing all their money over to him.

Scrooge and the nephews investigate Dr. Jekyll’s estate. Scrooge goes nuts again, and he runs off. To find him, the nephews recruit famous detective Shedlock Jones. Jones tosses them out, saying he’s too busy pursuing the master criminal Professor Moody-Doody. Scrooge is arrested after causing a scene. The boys return to the Jekyll house, where Jones has uncovered the cologne, which was Jekyll’s old formula. Jack then shows up to steal the formula. Jones and the boys chase him to Duckingham Palace with a plan to steal the crown jewels. Jones reveals that he switched formulas and catches Jack. Futher, he reveals Jack is really Moody-Doody in disguise. The boys get Jekyll’s antidote and use it on Scrooge, but not until after he buys them a bunch of junk from mail order catalogues.

Humbug: The gag at the start of the episode is that Scrooge won’t buy individual sodas for his nephews, but one soda with three straws. “Make that four straws,” he adds.

Junior Woodchucks: When Scrooge starts giving money away, the nephews are quick to exclaim “That’s our inheritance!” My thesis is that the series-long arc of DuckTales is Scrooge learning his family is more important than his money, but the nephews’ actions show this episode is definitely not about that.

All that glitters: We see that Scrooge keeps a portrait of his sometimes love interest Glittering Goldie in his bedroom (!), and that the painting has a safe full of cash behind it.

Glad to be here: At the auction, Scrooge doesn’t want to waste money on a sealed box with unknown contents. Gladstone Gander shows up and takes the risk. The box ends up being filled with gold. This inspires Scrooge to bid on the second mystery box, containing Jekyll’s formula.

Foul fowls: The gag behind Jack the Tripper is that he lays out traps for people to slip and fall on, after which he robs them. But, as Professor Moody-Doody, his real plot was to masquerade as Jack the Trapper, the type of petty, small-time crook that the great Shedlock Jones would never bother investigating.

Down in Duckburg: I’m unclear on where this auction is being held in Duckburg. It’s a big outdoor area, like a park but surrounded on all sides by big brick walls. Is this somebody’s yard?

Reference row: This episode mixes and matches Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes and Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll with real-life killer Jack the Ripper. In fiction, these characters never crossed paths in their official canons, but many writers in later years concocted ways for that to happen.

Thoughts upon this viewing: I’m both a big Sherlock Holmes fan and I’m something of an amateur Ripperologist, so this episode is right up my alley. The mystery part of the plot is more Scooby-Doo than Holmes, but it’s still a fun romp.

Next: Origin story.

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Rewatching DuckTales! Things are getting creepy in episode 59, “Nothing to Fear.”

Here’s what happens: During a freak rainstorm, Huey, Dewey, and Louie play a video game instead of doing their homework. Characters from the game Ducks of the Galaxy come to life and trash the mansion. Similarly, Duckworth the butler is working on Scrooge’s limo in the garage, only for the limo to turn into a giant panther and attack Duckworth. Doofus shows up at the mansion, and is terrorized when the banana he was about to eat comes to life and chases after him.

Scrooge shows up and demands to know why everyone is acting so strangely. He can find no evidence of everyone’s outrageous stories. He believes everyone is imagining things, until monstrous bill collectors appear to menace him. Then we get the big reveal: Magica Dispell has cast a spell over the mansion, causing everyone’s greatest fears to come true.

Everyone has more visions of their fears. Doofus is attacked by a bully, and the nephews by a demonic version of their teacher. Everyone travels from the mansion to Scrooge’s money vault, with the rain cloud following them, only for Scrooge to find the vault empty of money. The nightmare characters pursue everyone around back to the mansion. Then things get really dark as the boys have a nightmare vision of Scrooge, who says he never wanted them there and threatens to kick them out of the house. Scrooge then has a similar vision, where the nephews are little hoodlums who are only there for his money.

The real Scrooge and the real nephews meet outside the house and compare notes. They forgive each other, and Scrooge deduces that someone is making them see things that aren’t there, and that only Magica could do such a thing. Magica appears, and says she’ll undo the spell in exchange for Scrooge’s lucky Number One Dime. Scrooge refuses, and tells the boys it’s time to face their fears. The fight off the monsters, and the spell backfires on Magica. She runs off, and the rainstorm is replaced by a pretty rainbow.

Humbug: My thesis is that the series-long arc of DuckTales is Scrooge learning that his newfound family is more important than his money. In this episode, he fears the nephews are out to get him for his money, and he’s relieved to learn that’s not the case. I guess it’s a mixed message.

Junior Woodchucks: The covers of Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s school books are color-coded to match their shirts.

In the Navy: Huey, Dewey, and Louie have a framed photo of their uncle Donald on their dresser.

Do the doo: Every joke and line of dialogue featuring Doofus is about how he’s fat and he loves food. Is this the best the show’s writers could do?

Duck in Duckburg: This is another episode where the Money Bin is located across town from the mansion, instead of right next door. Are there two Money Bins?!?

Foul fowls: When Magica’s spell backfires, her greatest fear is… her spells backfiring! Talk about meta. Meanwhile, Doofus’ bully is named Bully Beagle, suggesting he’s related to the Beagle Boys.

Reference row: Making characters live out their greatest fears is a well-worn fantasy trope, but I’m unclear on what origin it might have. Instead, let’s go with Dani Moonstar from the New Mutants.

Thoughts upon this viewing: A surprisingly great episode. What begins as a haunted house parody ends up getting to the heart of Scrooge and his nephews and they see (or potentially see) each other.

Next: The duck-ality of man.

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Taking a week off for the holiday. Everybody have a good one, etc.

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Rewatching DuckTales! Instead of the haves versus the have-nots, it’s haves versus other haves in episode 58, “The Status Seekers.”

Here’s what happens: While playing backyard football with his nephews, it occurs to Scrooge that he although he’s stinking rich, he has no rich friends or clients. He sets about establishing himself as a proper member of high society. He eventually gets inside a fancy dinner party run by the Status Seekers, a group of super-rich folks known for their outrageous purchases. Scrooge becomes a member by purchasing the ugly-but-valuable Mask of Kuthululu.

Charles Upstuck III, a snooty member of the Status Seekers, plots to take down Scrooge, so recruits three rich Beagle Boys, Bernaise, Bicep, and Bonaparte Beagle. The mask leads Scrooge to a remote island where there is a treasure in emeralds waiting to be found. Scrooge and the family head out to the ocean, with the Status Seekers and the Beagle Boys pursuing him.

Scrooge and the villains negotiate with the island native chief for the emeralds. Scrooge wins, and after a battle at sea against the Beagle Boys, he’s finally accepted as the new leader of the Status Seekers. But the other Status Seekers turn on him almost immediately, fearing he will embarrass them with non-highfaluting ways. Upstuck and the Beagle Boys attack, only for Scrooge and his family to fight them off in front of the Status Seekers. The Status Seekers reject Scrooge again, so he leaves them to fight among each other for the mask.

Humbug: My thesis is that the series-long arc of DuckTales is Scrooge learning the people in his life are more important than his money. This episode hits that point in a big way, where Scrooge eventually decides that playing football with his nephews is better than fancy dinner parties with rich snobs.

Junior woodchucks: In a pretty pointless middle-of-episode action scene, Scrooge’s ship is attacked by a giant squid, and the nephews use pepper, chili powder, and other spices to drive the monster away.

Fasten your seatbelts: Launchpad embarrasses Scrooge while at a fancy restaurant, which endangers his standing among the Status Seekers. Later, Launchpad pilots Scrooge submarine, although he insists he’s better off in the air.

Maid and maiden: While Scrooge and Upstuck try to bride the island chief with gold and valuables, Mrs. Beakeley figures out what the chief really wants – ordinary peanut butter.

Foul fowls: It’s the first appearance of the wealthy Beagle Boys, with no mention of why they’re not helping the rest of the family. They live in luxury in a resort-like minimum security prison. During the final fight, Upstuck dons a Beagle Boy mask, suggesting that maybe he’s been adopted somehow into the Beagle family?

Down in Duckburg: Among the Status Seekers, we meet a hobo who accidentally lucked his way into owning a rare and valuable painting. I kept waiting this character to come back later in the episode and do something, but nope.

Reference row: The Mask of Kuthululu is a reference to classic and controversial horror author H.P. Lovecraft and his Cthulu series of short stories. Lovecraft is equal beloved for his wide-influencing writing and frowned upon for his appalling personal beliefs. (Could the giant squid in this episode be a reference to Lovecraft’s tentacle-y monsters? I’m probably overthinking.)

Thoughts upon this viewing: This feels more like a Richie Rich cartoon than a DuckTales one, in that the jokes are all based on what outrageous things a person might do with millions of dollars. Even though it hits on what the series is about overall, it’s still a lesser episode.

Next: Fear is the mind-killer.

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Want more? Check out my new book, MOM, I’M BULLETPROOF, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app. It’s a comedic/dramatic/romantic superhero epic!