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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In vol. 3 issue 10, writer Chris Claremont brings back more obscure villains, including good ol’ Paste Pot.

Even though the Saturnyne and Roma storyline wrapped up two issues back, this one begins with Saturnyne and Roma inside Saturnyne’s palace at the center of the universe. They are spying on Reed, wondering when Reed is going to use the data crystal Roma gave him. (When did this happen? The caption says it was off-panel, between issues 8 and 9.) In Reed’s lab, he is indeed working on the crystal, saying it is packed with data, depicting a vast starscape affected by a field of distortion.

Feeling that he’s fallen into a rut Reed asks his computer to activate an exercise program – revealing that this is a holodeck in all but name. He creates a simulation of New York under attack by Annihilus, Blastaar, and Terrax. This holo-fight goes on for several pages, with Reed finally winning. He collapses with exhaustion, saying he pushed himself to the limit, and it felt great.

Just before dawn, Reed checks on sleeping Franklin, and Franklin’s new pet, an alien dog Franklin has named Puppy. Reed ponders how science used to be his whole life, but now his family is his reason for being. Nearby, Ben and super-genius Alyssa Moy return from a sightseeing trip to Paris, courtesy of Alyssa’s flying car. She gives him a kiss on the cheek before flying off. He catches up with Johnny who is trying to figure out how to free the FF’s other new female ally Alysande Stuart of the gold shackles she apparently can’t remove. Whatever the shackles are made of, they cannot burn. Alysande, we learn, was a slave (!) in her home dimension, before the FF brought her to Earth.

Johnny flies to the ruined and abandoned Four Freedoms Plaza, where Alysande has been living. They share a breakfast and she tells him that she’s the last remaining Scot in her universe, after Scotland was destroyed by an evil emperor. Because of this, she is hesitant to visit the Scotland of Johnny’s universe. At the pier, the rest of the FF joke about how they know Johnny is secretly letting Alysande stay at the old building.

Reed hails a cab to take him to his teaching gig at Empire State University, only for the cab driver to flip a switch and trap Reed inside. As the inside of the cab fills with poison case, Reed says he recognizes the driver as Hawkshaw, a mutant from Genosha who leads a group of villains called the Press Gang. Reed provides exposition, saying the Press Gang has only ever been interested in hunting down mutants who emigrate from Genosha. Hawkshaw doesn’t give a proper answer, only to be joined by two other members of the Press Gang, Punchout and Jenny Ransom.

Reed manages to fight off all three of the Press Gang, only to confront their co-conspirator, the Trapster, formerly Paste Pot Pete. Reed fights all four baddies, evading the Genoshans, and not proving no match for the Trapster’s glue. Except that he isn’t. After knocking out the Press Gang, Reed loses the ability to shape-shift. The Trapster says his glue coated Reed’s uniform with polymer that stabilizes the unstable molecules, meaning Reed and stretch, but his clothes can’t. He wraps a similar fabric around Reed’s head and proclaims his victory.

The Trapster hands Reed off to the Press Gang, saying he doesn’t want payment for his services, just the knowledge and he went toe-to-to with Mr. Fantastic, and he won.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed’s aggressive behavior, and his enjoying all the fighting, is another result of Crucible messing with his mind a few issues back. Crucible will make his return very soon.

Fade out: Sue finally realizes that Reed has been acting strangely, but she says she loves the new Reed.

Clobberin’ time: They’re definitely setting up a romance between Ben and Alyssa. He says their Paris trip was the most fun he’d had in a long time.

Flame on: Similarly, Johnny and Alysande are also flirtatious. In addition to buying her breakfast, he also buys her a new wardrobe to get along on Earth.

Fantastic fifth wheel: H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot can just barely be seen in the background in Franklin’s room. Freakin’ H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot.

Four and a half: This issue notes that Franklin’s alien pet Puppy bears a similarity to the Inhumans’ dog Lockjaw. Although editor Tom Brevoort said on Tumblr that Puppy is Lockjaw’s son, the actual comics have to date never revealed Puppy’s origin.

Commercial break: Don’t knock uphill ice skating until you’ve tried it.

Trivia time: This is the Press Gang’s only appearance not related to the Genosha storylines in various X-Men comics. They later became Genosha’s official police force, renaming themselves the Magistrates. They have a fourth member not appearing in this issue, named Pipeline.

Paste Pot Pete, um, I mean the Trapster mentions he was just “sprung” from jail. He was locked up after confessing to the murder to a criminal Joey Z. in Spider-Man #92. It was later revealed that Norman Osborne was the real killer.

Fantastic or frightful? Another issue where very little happens, made even more egregious by a multi-page holodeck fight that adds very little to the plot. The relationship-building is interesting and it’s fun to see more obscure villains, but there’s not much here.

Next: Material girl.

****

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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In vol. 3 issue #9, Spider-Man stops by, along with one of his classic villains. Kraven the Hunter is the original tiger king.

It’s morning at Pier 4, when Sue, still in her bathrobe, answers a knock on the door. There are two TV reporters there, saying they had an appointment to interview the FF for a documentary on the daily life of the superheroes. She takes off, only for Johnny and Ben to take over. After they horse around with the reporters for a bit, they pass them off to Reed. Ben, Johnny, Franklin, and family friend Alyssa Moy head out to Manhattan for some shopping.

The gang walks through Tribeca, where they run into the one and only Stan Lee, who has a side gig cooking sausage at a sidewalk stand. They walk past the old Four Freedoms Plaza (was it always in Tribeca?) and there’s a lot of exposition-speak recapping the events of Onslaught, Heroes Reborn, and Heroes Return. Alyssa worries that the FF might disappear and leave Franklin alone again, while Ben says Four Freedoms Plaza is still abandoned after the Thunderbolts went on the run, and city has yet to determine whether the building is still sound.

In the sewers under Four Freedoms Plaza, construction workers investigate a strange noise and come face-to-face with… Kraven the Hunter! He tells the workers to leave him alone, and that he will inform their bosses when the “threat has been eliminated.”

Back at Pier Four, there’s a lot of sitcom stuff with Johnny horsing around with the reporters, when Ben and company return with a bag of bagels for everyone. Then Sue is visited by NYC fashion designer Kay Cera (Marvel superfans will recognize her as “Cuckoo,” one of the Clan Destine) and her team to give Sue another makeover.

What happens next is a little hard to follow. Johnny sneaks away, and into an old-fashioned London phone booth, displayed as a novelty outside the pier. He steps inside, walks through a blank white void. He’s grabbed from behind and apparently pulled back to Earth by a knife-wielding woman. Johnny recognizes her as a woman he rescued from the Captain Britain Corps on Roma’s world in the last issue. (Don’t remember this from last time? This issue is this character’s first appearance. The flashback to the Captain Britains is a bona fide ret-con, as this is the character’s first appearance. Johnny said he couldn’t leave her behind in Roma’s world, so he brought her to Earth, and he’s working on finding her a place to stay. She can’t stay at the pier because Johnny hasn’t told her about Reed yet, but he says he’s come up with an alternative. Johnny then flies her to Four Freedoms Plaza, where they’re met by Spider-Man.

The mystery woman finally gives her name, Alysande Stuart. (Marvel fans no doubt remember another Alysande Stuart who was a main character in Excalibur for a while. That Alysande died in Excalibur #55, and this new one is an alternate universe version.) Spidey saw Johnny’s flame and thought they should have a proper reunion after Johnny came back from the dead in Heroes Return.

While Johnny and Spider-Man joke around, Alysande gets upset and runs off into the building. The two heroes follow her. There’s another short scene back at the pier with the interviewers, then it’s back to the former HQ, where Spider-Man finds Kraven the Hunter inside. Spidey refers to Kraven as “Alyosha,” revealing this is Alexei Kravinoff, mutant son of the original Kraven. He tells the heroes that they are not his prey, and he tells them to leave. Then Alysande says she is the protector of Kraven’s prey. Alysande strikes her knife to the ground which magically transforms her into an armor-clad warrior woman named Caledonia.

Johnny, Spider-Man and Caledonia all fight Kraven. Although outnumbered, Kraven puts up a good fight with a dart gun and a bunch of other hunting gadgets. A loud roar comes from deeper within the building, and everyone realizes there’s a dangerous animal nearby. Kraven runs off, saying he’ll come back for the beast after it is done killing the three heroes. Caledonia, however, marches ahead to confront the monster, saying there is nothing to be afraid of.

Back at the pier, the FF are wrapping up the interview, while Sue is once again concerned about Franklin being unprotected. Then Johnny, Spider-Man and Caledonia return with the monster. It’s an Inhuman dog, similar to Lockjaw, except smaller. Franklin and the dog immediately bond, and I guess this means he’s got someone watching his back now.

Unstable molecule: Reed had forgotten to tell the rest of FF he scheduled a TV interview that day, which is this issue’s only reference that Reed is acting out-of-character after his fight with Crucible in issue #5.

Fade out: Johnny is able to “see” Sue when she’s invisible, because he senses the natural ambient heat around her. This is a shout-out to comics from years earlier in which he did the same thing.

Clobberin’ time: When Ben is interviewed, he says he’s come to peace being a big rock monster, in that it’s given him opportunities he wouldn’t have had otherwise, including traveling to outer space.

Flame on: Johnny mentions that he’s officially certified as a New York firefighter after auditing a series of firefighting courses. He says learning about stopping fires has given him better control when starting them.

Four and a half: The opening recap page says Franklin’s powers have exhausted themselves for now. The concern, then, is worrying about his feelings of abandonment during Heroes Reborn/Heroes Return. We’ll learn more about his new pet next issue.

Commercial break: Epic crossover!

Trivia time: Johnny mentions that he recently ran into Spider-Man’s friend Hornet. What Johnny doesn’t know is that Hornet was an alternate hero persona used by Peter Parker during Spider-Man’s Identity Quest storyline. The other two personas were Ricochet and Dusk. The three personas were eventually handed over to three other guys for their own spinoff, Slingers.

The bit with the English phone booth goes unexplained. It’s obviously a reference to Doctor Who, but Marvel’s short-lived Doctor Who comic was its own timeline that never crossed over with the regular Marvel Universe. Johnny says the phone booth came from Reed’s “strange doctor friend,” which has some fans speculating it came from Dr. Strange instead.

The two reporters mention having met the X-Men. This occurred during the Fall of the Mutants crossover, when the X-Men seemingly died, only to hide out in Australia for a while.

Captain America can be seen on the FF’s TV in the background. I’m assuming this a hint at two big Cap events the month this was published. In Captain America Vol. 3 #9, Cap’s shield was replaced with his cool new energy shield (it didn’t last). This was also the month of Captain America: Sentinels of Liberty #1, which depicted a near-future Captain America.

The Marvel Wiki states that Stan Lee cameos are considered exempt from continuity, so we don’t have to bother figuring out what he’s doing cooking Sicilian sausages on the sidewalk.

Fantastic or frightful? I want to give writer Chris Claremont the benefit of the doubt, but this issue is a mess. The introduction of Alysandre/Caledonia is baffling. She just comes out of nowhere. Also, Kraven just runs away, and Spider-Man lets him go? That feels out of character for them both. I like that this is an attempt at a lighter, sitcom-ish story, but that’s about it.

Next: It’s a trap!

****

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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Vol. 3 issue 8 has it all – cosmic beings, superpowers going haywire, and references to obscure characters.

Recap: The FF just wanted a nice night out in NYC, only to be attacked by interdimensional hunters the Warwolves, and interdimensional bounty hunters Gatecrasher and the Technet. These baddies are in the employ of evil space queen Opal Luna Saturnyne, who has sent them after Franklin. After defeating the Technet, our heroes were then confronted by the Captain Britain Corps. This issue starts with them fighting the Corps, with Reed explaining the obvious, that this is a whole bunch of alien Captain Britains. The FF puts up a good fight, but they’re outnumbered, and the Corps has advanced tech that can anticipate the FF’s moves.

Franklin, hiding in a corner with genius and friend-of-the-family Alyssa Moy, decides he’s had enough. He uses his reality-bending powers to make the FF’s own superpowers increase by a vast amount. Now the Corps is no match for the FF. Nearby, the Technet plans a hasty retreat, but an unconscious Captain Britain falls from the sky and knocks out Yap, the team’s teleporter. Johnny takes to sky, barely able to control his new power increase. He sees Gatecrasher making a run for it and confronts her. Gatecrasher has a device that reveals that Franklin is pumping out cosmic power off the charts, and also that the Corps did not teleport to Earth, but that the FF teleported, and are now on an alternate Earth. Johnny demands that Gatecrasher take him to her leader.

Through unknown means, Johnny and Gatecrasher arrive at the Starlight Citadel, an otherworldly place that can view every plane of the omniverse. Inside, Johnny comes face-to-face with Saturnyne, who introduces herself as the “omniversal mastrex.” Gatecrasher adds that Saturnyne “represents absolute power over all the worlds in the infinite tapestry of being.” Turn the page, and we see Roma is also present. The daughter of Merlin, Roma is the “omniversal guardian,” and this citadel is her home. Then two more cosmic beings appear, Eternity and Infinity. Remember that Eternity is living embodiment of all existence at once, and Infinity is the living embodiment of time. Roma says they have an abiding interest in what is about to occur. Further, it was Roma and not Saturnyne who sent all the bounty hunters after Franklin.

Roma describes a hypothetical (or not?) situation in which the FF use their new powers to destroy an alien spaceship, and she argues Franklin is the cause. Johnny says that Franklin is no threat as long as his loving family is looking out for him. Saturnyne withdraws a crystal which she says represents Johnny’s entire universe, and she threatens to destroy it. She gives Johnny a choice – either Franklin is destroyed, or his whole universe is destroyed. Johnny says she’s bluffing, and again says the FF is better equipped than anyone to teach Franklin. He adds, “Just ask Galactus.” Roma says she has, and Galactus admitted that in all the cosmos, the FF has earned his respect.

Johnny continues to negotiate, saying that if the FF can keep Franklin under control, Roma’s needs are satisfied. If the FF fails, then Roma gets to come after them all. Roma asks if Johnny truly speaks on behalf of the FF, and he says yes. Then she says, “We have ourselves a deal.” Back at the battle, all the Captain Britains vanish as Johnny returns, saying he’s got quite a story to tell.

Wait, there’s more! The issue also includes five pages of a never completed Fantastic Four and the Inhumans event comic. This was to be an ambitious two-year mega-epic drawn by hot up-and-coming artist Jose Landronn. It never went beyond these five pages before being stalled, and Landronn went on to draw Cable instead. The might-have-been story has Ben and Reed on an adventure in a futuristic “floating New York.” It’s a Blade Runner-like setting, all flying cars and cyberpunk. After surviving crash-landing an experimental aircraft on a city street, Ben and Reed come across a glowing energy gate, only for the Inhuman Royal Family to emerge from it… and we’ll never know what would’ve happened next.

Unstable molecule: Reed spontaneously kisses Sue at the end of the issue, the only suggestion that he’s been acting out of character after his encounter with Crucible in issue #5.

Fade out: After Sue’s powers are enhanced by Franklin, her force fields appear to have a glowing orange effect. No word on whether this a result of Franklin upping her power, or if it’s just drawn that way for the reader’s benefit.

Clobberin’ time: With his strength enhanced, Ben punches the street and creates shockwaves powerful enough to topple nearby skyscrapers.

Flame on: Obviously, the big deal about this issue is that it’s Johnny and not Reed or Sue who communes with cosmic beings this time around, doing so in his own signature style. It’s not out of character when we remember how Johnny “went cosmic” during the original Galactus trilogy.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Both Crystal and Medusa appear in the final panel of Fantastic Four and the Inhumans, but they don’t say or do anything.

Four and a half: This issue would appear to be a big character growth for Franklin in that he can control his reality-bending powers by making specific things happen, rather than reality just going haywire when he gets upset.

Commercial break: Freakin’ Gorgonites.

Trivia time: What’s the deal with the Captain Britain Corps? The idea is that every parallel universe has a Captain Britain, and that Roma (or Merlin before her) can summon some or all of them to help the Marvel Universe’s Captain Britain when needed. They’re usually noble heroes, and not bounty hunters as depicted in this issue. Seen in this issue are members Officer Saxon, Samurai Saxon, Maasai Marion, Hauptmann Englande, and Britanotron, among many unidentified ones. Two of the prominent Corps members, Captain UK and Captain Albion, sit this one out.

The comic never says that the FF’s new power levels are undone, but there’s no mention of them being dangerously over-powered next issue, so let’s assume it was reversed. The Marvel Wiki, however, does insist that the team was teleported back to their home universe after this, so that’s something.

Because the Fantastic Four and the Inhumans story remains unfinished, it’s considered non-canon.

Fantastic or frightful? An odd wrap-up to an odd storyline. It’s clearly an excuse for writer Chris Claremont to use a bunch of Excalibur and Captain Britain characters, and also to raise their importance in Marvel continuity. Johnny standing up to the cosmic beings remains a pretty great scene, though.

Next: Amazing friends.

****

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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Writer Chris Claremont continues to bring his characters from Excalibur into the FF with vol. 3 issue #7.

Last issue, Reed was acting uncharacteristic and took Sue out for date night. At Pier Four, Ben and genius Alyssa Moy were attacked by interdimensional bounty hunter Gatecrasher and her oddball crew the Technet. They abducted Ben, but Alyssa escaped with Franklin. This issue begins with Alyssa pulling over a passing police car. She explains to the cops that Pier Four has been attacked, and the attackers are after Franklin. Alyssa then points out that the cops have English accents and are driving a London police car. The cops are revealed to be the Warwolves, hiding out in New York.

Okay, what are these things? The Warwolves were genetically engineered by weirdo alien Mojo to be his henchmen. After several fights with Excalibur, the Warwolves ended up as permanent residents of the London Zoo. They are able to kill humans and then wear their victims’ skin (!) making themselves look just like their victims. They’re also skilled trackers, which explains how they’ve found their way to Alyssa and Franklin.

The Warwolves attack some real cops while Alyssa tries to protect Franklin. She tries to escape in the police car, only for the Warwolves to swipe the keys. Then Alyssa produces an invention of hers, a universal key. She starts the car and she and Franklin take off. Just when it looks like they’ve escaped, they’re attacked by Ferro-2, the swordfighting werewolf from Technet, who jumps down from above and slices up the engine.

At the Rainbow Room in Rockefeller Center, Reed and Sue continue their romantic evening on the town, with no idea that all this is happening. Cut to Ben, who has been shrunken down to tiny size and swallowed by Bodybag, another Technet creature. The Technet has gathered in a wooded area (Central Park, I’m guessing) where Gatecrasher says she wants Franklin found, with a lot of technobabble about how communications and transportation are being monitored in their search.

Out in the city, Franklin cries out for his mom, and certain Marvel heroes can psychically “hear” him – Spider-Man (thanks to his spider-sense), Jean Grey, Dr. Strange, the Watcher, Roma the Omniversal Guardian, and Kitty Pryde, who is not psychic but is still good friends with Franklin. Alyssa tries to calm Franklin down, promising to protect him.

In an alley, Alyssa is using some more of her genius tech to New York’s fiber optic data-net. Franklin acts as lookout, and cries, “the monsters are coming!” The run for it, just barely staying ahead of the Technet. They run through a busy nightclub hoping to lose the aliens in the crowd, not realizing they’re running past Johnny in one panel. Leaving the nightclub, Alyssa and Franklin next run into… the Bacchae. Who is this? Turns out this is the Bacchae’s first appearance. They’re a group of female cyborg assassins. They’re fighting a guy named Lao Wei Chung, Master of the Golden Sword, unrelated to all this Technet stuff. Chung escapes from Bacchae thanks to Alyssa’s interruption, and he gives Alyssa a kiss before running off.

At the Rainbow Room, Sue looks out a balcony and sees the “4” symbol lit up on skyscrapers all over NYC. Reed tries to contact Pier Four, only to find it offline. Sue, in her sexy evening dress, takes off over the skies of the city riding one of her force fields. Sue catches up to Alyssa and Franklin, just in time for Gatecrasher to show up. Gatecrasher says she has a legal warrant for Franklin, but Sue says that, as Franklin’s mother, she is the ultimate authority. Using the fight moves she learned from Iron Fist in combination with her force fields, Sue beats the crap out of Gatecrasher.

Reed and Johnny arrived as the rest of the Technet join the fight. Reed frees Ben from Bodybag. The Technet might have the FF outnumbered, but the FF have them outpowered. Ben knocks out Thug, Johnny stops China Doll with a wall of flame, and Scatterbrain’s illusions are no match for Reed’s intellect. The only advantage the Technet gets is when Joyboy looks into Sue’s subconscious desires and transforms her into the Queen of Atlantis and consort of Namor (!). The transformation wears off, though, putting the FF back into the fight.

Gatecrasher calls for the FF to surrender or face the consequences, and Ben answers “You and what army?” Gatecrasher responds, “This army!” The FF turn around and find themselves face-to-face with… the Captain Britain Corps, a whole bunch of Captain Britains of all shapes and sizes.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed’s strange behavior isn’t addressed in this issue. He has a wristwatch computer tied into Pier Four, which alerts him to when the systems go down.

Fade out: Sue surrounds herself with a force field as if it’s armor, so she can properly beat up Gatecrasher.

Clobberin’ time: Reed frees Ben from Bodybag by reaching into Bodybag’s mouth and pulling Ben out. There’s no explanation of how Ben became un-shrunk, so I guess it just wore off.

Flame on: Look closely, and you see Johnny is in the nightclub that Alyssa and Franklin run though earlier in the issue. He’s too busy flirting with some girl to notice them.

Four and a half: Why Franklin’s psychic cry reached these specific characters is a mystery. Spidey, Jean Grey, and Dr. Strange make sense as all having some form of psychic power. Kitty because she and Franklin are friends. But why Roma? As the daughter of Merlin, she too was in Captain Britain and Excalibur and has a history with the Warwolves. That could explain why she got the call.

Commercial break: “Sure. We saved the world. I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty.”

Trivia time: These Bacchae characters showing up out of nowhere foreshadows them playing a bigger role in future issues. The Bacchae’s leader, not named in this issue, is Bloody Mary.

This appears to be the only appearance of Lao Wei Hung, Master of the Golden Sword. There was a martial artist named Chung who was henchman for crimelord Vachon in Deadly Hands of Kung Fu, and another Chung who was a security guard who helped fight the Hellfire Club in one issue of X-Men, but I doubt these are all the same guy.

Fantastic or frightful? It’s obvious by this point that Chris Claremont is using Fantastic Four as his excuse to write more Excalibur. I’m all for bringing something new to the series, but Heaven help any readers who hadn’t followed Excalibur or its predecessor Captain Britain and doesn’t know all these references.

Next: The rings of Saturn (-yne)

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Writer Chris Claremont used his time on Fantastic Four to revisit a lot of characters he’d previously written in the X-books, and that’s true of the oddities who show up in Vol. 3, issue #6.

The issue begins with Sue… in battle! She’s at the Oracle Inc. skyscraper, current headquarters for Heroes for Hire, and she’s getting a martial arts lesson from the immortal Iron Fist. Also present are two former FF-ers Power Man and She-Hulk, as well Misty Knight and Colleen Wing of Heroes for Hire. Sue, somewhat improbably, gets the upper hand on Iron Fist, creating a fighting staff out of an invisible force field. Iron Fist strikes back by unleashing the full force of his titular power. Sue isn’t hurt, though, and instead says getting blasted by Iron Fist is the “best ride I’ve had in ages.”

Sue goes for a swim in the Oracle Inc. pool, where she is greeted rather erotically by Namor the Submariner. Namor says he feels haunted by living another life during Heroes Reborn, and he wonders what might have been. He wants her to come away with him and become the new queen of Atlantis. Sue insists that she will not betray Reed’s love, and a woman who committed such a betrayal would not be worthy of Atlantis.

Sue returns to Pier Four, noting that an unmarked police car had been following her the whole time. Inside, Reed surprises Sue with a room full of roses, and he says to take her dancing. Sue is also introduced to Reed’s ex, Alyssa Moy, a fellow genius we met last issue. Alyssa and Ben have an aside, where she worries that Reed might be acting strangely, but Ben doesn’t worry about it. We follow Ben and Franklin as they attend a Yankees game, and Sue, She-Hulk and the Wasp go shopping for fancy dresses for Sue and Reed’s date night. Dressed in their finest, Reed and Sue head out for a night of dancing and Rockefeller Center, while a mysterious stranger keeps an eye on Pier Four.

Ben prepares dinner for Franklin and Alyssa, with Alyssa still insisting that Reed is acting out of character ever since his telepathic fight with Crucible last issue. Strangely, part of Ben’s dinner turns into a cartoon bird like Tweety, but with a bomb in its head. Ben saves everyone from the explosion, only for Alyssa and Franklin to attacked by… Gatecrasher and the Technet.

Okay, who are these characters? The big blue-skinned lady is Gatecrasher. She is an interdimensional bounty hunter, who tracks down threats to the multiverse. She’s not a good guy, however, as she’s often in the employ of Opal Luna Saturnyne, an evil queen from another dimension. The Technet is Gatecrasher’s band of super-powered enforcers. They first appeared in Captain Britain and later became major players in Excalibur. Here’s the list:

• Numbers is a little lizard guy who sits on Gatecrasher’s shoulder and gives her important info.
• Yap is the other little lizard on Gatecrasher’s other shoulder. He’s a teleporter, who transports the team from dimension to dimension.
• Joyboy is the weird alien baby in the floating chair. He has the power to make anyone’s dreams come true, but with disastrous results. Kind of like that movie Wishmaster.
• Ringtoss is the guy in the gold armor. He can project energy rings that wrap around his enemies.
• Bodybag is the big dinosaur-like guy. He incapacitates his enemies by swallowing them whole and storing them in a liquid sac within his body. (Gross.)
• China Doll is the blue-skinned Medusa-like alien. She has the power to shrink her enemies down to teeny size.
• Thug is the little frog-like one. He has super strength – your basic brawler.
• Scatterbrain is the beautiful woman with the green hair. She creates trippy illusions that throw enemies for a loop.
• Ferro-2 is the werewolf with the fencing swords in each hand. That’s right — Swordfighting werewolf!

Gatecrasher says she has a warrant to extradite Franklin back to “the prime continuum.” Alyssa flees with Franklin while Ben fights the Technet. Joyboy turns him human for a second, but Ben sees through the trick and punches out Joyboy. Then Scatterbrain and China Doll team up to mesmerize Ben and shrink him. He’s then fed to Bodybag, with Gatecrasher saying Ben will be kept in stasis. Alyssa and Franklin get out of the building and make it to a pay phone, only for Ferro-2 to stop them and take them hostage. While all this has been going on, we occasionally check in with Reed and Sue and their romantic date, with Reed calling this, “the most memorable night of my life.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed’s odd behavior (or is it?) won’t be addressed in full until around issue #10.

Fade out: The Sue/Namor conversation is interesting. Sue rebukes Namor in favor of Reed, but she does so in a way that Namor can understand. She finds a way to speak to him on his level.

Clobberin’ time: Not sure what the plan was for Alyssa at this point, but Ben has his arm around her in a lot of panels. He also shows off the FF’s new pogo plane, which is equipped with a whole bunch of missiles.

Flame on: There’s a joke about Johnny having set off the fire sprinklers at Pier Four, so Sue is making him clean the entire building.

Fantastic fifth wheel: With former FF members Luke Cage and She-Hulk now with Heroes for Hire, it makes sense that H4H be FF adjacent. The H4H are operating out of Oracle Inc., which is the mega-corporation owned by Namor when he is in his weird “billionaire CEO” mode. This also conveniently explains why Namor just shows up in the Oracle Inc. pool.

Four and a half: The comic spends two whole pages devoted to Reed and Franklin having fun at the Yankees game. Franklin catches a foul ball, and he does it without the use of his or his dad’s super-powers.

Sue-per spy: The 2019 Invisible Woman miniseries revealed that Sue had a double life as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent all along. Could her sparring session with Iron Fist be part of her spy training?

Commercial break: Nightmare fuel!

Trivia time: What’s the deal with the exploding cartoon chicken? He’s also a member of Technet, named Hard-Boiled Henwy. He first appeared in Excalibur #31, and never appeared again after this issue.

There is one other member of Technet not appearing in this issue – an octopus-like alien named Waxworks, who can loosen his opponent’s molecular structure, making them all gooey like Jello.

The fashion designer who meets with Sue, She-Hulk and Wasp is named Kay Cera. More than just a pun name, Kay is a member of the super-family Clan Destine. She’s an 800-year-old being who occasionally fights evil under the name Cuckoo. She has great psychic powers, but like most members of Clan Destine, she is reluctant to use them.

Fantastic or frightful? Mostly a “hangout” issue, that sets the stage for upcoming events. It has a lot of fun character moments, and has the added bonus of the Technet being nice and weird. Some might argue that nothing happens in this issue, but I suspect that’s the point.

Next: Warwolves? There, wolves!

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