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It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

The good news is, I managed to get through the whole first season in time for Halloween. The bad news is the season finale, episode twenty-six, “Bottle of Dreams,” is a clip show. Freakin’ clip shows.

Mystery man.

Micki, Ryan and Jack are throwing a little party for themselves inside the store to celebrate one year of successful evil antique hunting. A man dressed in robes enters, leaves an antique urn with our heroes, and leaves. Micki and Ryan take the urn into the vault, where smoke comes out of it and the door locks them in.

Jack calls upon his friend and fellow occultist Rashid for help. Rashid explains that the urn is making Micki and Ryan experience a “death dream,” in which they relive their most terrifying experiences, until they can’t stand it anymore and their hearts burst. This is a long-winded way of explaining the use of footage from previous episodes — “The Inheritance,” “Cupid’s Quiver,” “Scarecrow,” “Tattoo,” “Doctor Jack,” and “Tales of the Undead.”

That old black magic.

Jack gets the idea of him and Rashid casting a spell that allows him to enter Micki and Ryan’s dream psychically and bring them out of it. Rashid warns against this, saying that Jack, of all people, shouldn’t do this. Jack insists. While they prepare the spell, the ghost of Uncle Lewis appears! He says he’s sick of Micki and Ryan interfering in his work. Jack swears to send Lewis back to Hell.

In the dream world, Lewis taunts Jack with the image of a young boy in a coma. Turns out this is Peter, Jack’s son! Peter was a powerful psychic whose spirit left his body to explore this very dream world, but never returned. It’s all a trick, of course, and Jack turns his back on Peter to save Ryan and Micki. He finds them as they are reliving the episode “The Baron’s Bride,” which you’ll remember was the black-and-white one. As they reunite in the dream, Jack is in color while the other two are in black-and-white, with a fiery wall between them. Jack breaks through the wall, allowing Micki and Ryan to escape the dream and get out of the vault. Rashid warns our heroes that Lewis’s spirit is still out here… somewhere…

I’ll assume this is some never-before-seen corner of the Black Lodge.

When the show is smart: I’m not a fan of clip shows, so I normally skip this one whenever I go through the series. Rewatching it this time, I was impressed to see so much time devoted to the show’s lore and to Jack’s backstory. I’m reminded of The Simpsons’ first clip show, “So It’s Come to This,” where, even though it’s a clip show, the creators still made an effort.

When the show is cheesy: The clips are mostly taken from previous episodes’ finales, but they cut off just before showing the audience how our heroes survived. If by any chance this is someone’s first time watching Friday the 13th, they’ll be frustrated with not knowing what happened.

Break on through.

Devilish dialogue: Uncle Lewis: “My niece and nephew are paying a price for interfering and it’ll keep on until they die. Then, the forces of darkness will take over this store and once again Satan’s toys will flow across this world like an unholy tide, sweeping everything before it.”

Trivia tidbits:

– This is the first of only two on-screen appearances of Jack’s friend Rashid, although Rashid is mentioned in several other episodes, usually providing pieces of exposition to Jack via a phone call.

– According to Alyse Wax’s excellent book Curious Goods: Behind the Scenes of Friday the 13th: The Series, it wasn’t budget that necessitated a clip show, but the writers’ strike of 1988. With the show’s regular writing staff on the picket lines, a non-union Canadian writer was brought in the bang out this script on the quick.

Party time!

Back in the vault: I still dislike clip shows, but I must admit this one is better than I remembered. I guess it’s as good a season finale as any, summing up the best aspects of the show — cheesy horror that occasionally gets super dark and gory, but with genuine character development at its heart.

Happy Halloween, all.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

It’s Mother’s Day in October for episode twenty-five, “What a Mother Wouldn’t Do.”

Married couple Leslie and Martin have a baby born with a rare ailment, and the child will likely not survive. However, they have a cursed cradle from Uncle Lewis’ store. The cradle can cure the baby, but only if the parents murder a certain number of people. Specifically, the victims must be killed in water. This is because the cradle was recovered from the Titanic.

Mom’s got the crazy eyes again.

Micki, Ryan and Jack investigate, with the help of a babysitter, Debbie. Martin attempts to kill Debbie, but she’s rescued by Ryan. Micki and Ryan try to steal back the cradle, but realize they can’t without harming the baby. In a second fight, Leslie thinks she’s successfully killed Debbie and Ryan. In the final confrontation, Leslie and Martin both die — he in a fishtank and her in a fountain. The baby appears to vanish as if by magic, but what our heroes don’t know is that Debbie survived, and ran off with the now-healthy baby to start a new life.

Mind the baby.

When the show is smart: The series really succeeds at creating sympathetic villains, and Leslie definitely is that, with her only motivation being the well-being of her child. This is also an ethical conundrum for our heroes, bringing out some great performances among the main cast.

When the show is cheesy: Not forgetting the show’s slasher movie roots, Martin dons a weird smiley-face mask when he tries to murder Debbie by drowning her in her own bathtub. I do believe this is the stuff that censors had a problem with.

Do I creep you out?

Devilish dialogue: Micki: “The damn curse can even affect innocent babies. The things we do here, I mean, it’s as though there’s no more good anywhere.” Ryan: “Yeah, it’s as though we get to see the worst side of everything. Either they’re using a cursed object or they’re getting one used on them.”

Trivia tidbits:

– Uncle Lewis is back! Sort of. He appears in the opening scene, a flashback of how Leslie spotted the cradle at the antique store, and how Lewis didn’t sell it to her, but gave it to her as a gift.

Dear old uncle.

Back in the vault: Here’s another episode where the show hits all the right notes. Compelling characters and some spooky scenes add up to a solid hour of television.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

The series turns into Miami Vice for a week in episode twenty-three, “Badge of Honor.”

A close-to-retirement cop gets hold of a cursed antique sheriff’s badge, which he uses as a weapon to go vigilante on a ring of evil counterfeiters. Meanwhile, Micki romances Tim, an ex-boyfriend who (of course) is revealed to also be part of the counterfeiters.

Gangsta.

After lots of cops vs. crooks action, and lots of ‘80s cop show saxophone music, both the vigilante cop and the counterfeiters die in a shootout. Tim, who is revealed to be an undercover FBI agent, is also shot.

The cursed badge doesn’t do much interesting. It just kills whoever it touches.

When the show is smart: Outside of the gangster stuff, the real story in this episode is Micki and Tim’s whirlwind romance, and Ryan’s jealously. After everything Ryan has been through in the last couple of episodes, it’s understandable that he doesn’t want his newfound monster-hunting family to be broken up.

Romance.

When the show is cheesy: The height of Miami Vice’s popularity had been years earlier, but that didn’t stop the show’s creators from aping it in a big way, with the sylin’ nightclubs, edge gangster dialogue, and so, so much saxophone music.

Ryan even wears his Miami Vice jacket.

Devilish dialogue: “Back in the old days, it was simple. There were cops, and there were crooks. Today, I can’t tell the difference.”

Trivia time:

– During the nightclub scene at the start of the episode, the song playing is Killer Instinct, sung by Louise Robey, F13’s own Micki!

Sibling (cousin) rivalry.

Back in the vault: It’s great how the show’s creators continue to try new things and different genres, but this one come off as trying too hard. The conflict between Micki and Ryan is good, but the rest gets a shrug.

Next: In the pipeline.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

Our heroes go full Scooby Doo when they go after a pirate ghost in episode twenty-two, “The Pirate’s Promise.”

In a seaside town, a lighthouse keeper named Joe owns a cursed foghorn. He murders someone, uses the foghorn to summon a pirate’s ghost from the sea (!). The ghost takes the body and gives old-timey gold coins in return. While investigating, Micki and Ryan befriend a local historian, Dewey.

Somewhere… beyond the sea…

The pirate doesn’t just demand any victims, but specifically the descendants of those who once mutinied against him. There’s one last descendant in town, and it’s a race to find out who it is before the killer does. The missing descendant is Dewey, who’s killed by Joe. But, in the final confrontation with the ghost, the ghost reveals that Joe is also a descendant, and the ghost takes them both.

When the show is smart: This one ends with a dramatic coda back at the store, where Micki and Ryan take time to mourn their friend Dewey. It’s a nice moment that shows life and death have real meaning to these characters, and the folks they meet are more than just disposable slasher movie victims.

Sad times.

When the show is cheesy: I’m not an expert in these things, but “Angus McBride” just doesn’t sound like a cool pirate name to me.

Devilish dialogue: Micki: “It looks so cold. Cold and dead.” Joe: “You sound like sailor.”

Cavernous.

Trivia time:

– Although the show was filmed in Toronto, for this episode the cast and crew road-tripped to Lake Erie, to film on location at a rocky beach and an actual old-timey lighthouse. I did a little googling to find out which one, but it turns out the lake has tons of lighthouses.

Want to be a lighthouse keeper, and keep her by the sea.

Back in the vault: A fun episode, with a memorable monster and tons of atmosphere. The attempt at a mystery with a final twist is pretty predictable, but it’s an enjoyable ride getting there.

Next: Cop land.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

Episode twenty-one is live on the air with “Double Exposure.”

A serial killer is loose in the city, calling the local TV news to taunt police live on the air. The thing is, news anchor Winston Knight — who has become a celebrity thanks to this — is using a cursed camera to take a photo of himself, which comes to life and does the killings, all while he has the perfect alibi of being on TV at the time. Ryan witnesses one of the murders, spurring him to investigate, while also making him a target.

It’s alive!

Knight’s clone kills Ryan’s new girlfriend Kathy (and just one week after Ryan was dumped by Laura the Pentitite), furthering Ryan’s desire to stop him. Knight ends up confronting Jack instead, using the camera to clone Jack, and ordering the clone to kill Ryan and Micki. Knight plans to expose Jack’s clone as the killer. During the final fight, Jack kills his own clone, and Knight’s clone decides he wants Knight’s life, so he’s the one who kills Knight. The clone also dies, but dies knowing he’s also human.

Young love.

When the show is smart: While this is a basic “we have to stop the serial killer” plot, the writers find ways to keep things interesting, with the clones emerging from a vat of goo, and bleeding green slime when they die. Yes, it’s crazy and over-the-top, but it keeps viewers guessing as to what will happen next.

When the show is cheesy: In keeping with the “TV news” theme, a news camera films the final battle as takes place right outside the antique store. So, did this not air? If it did, why isn’t the whole world reacting to evidence of the supernatural? And why aren’t Micki, Jack and Ryan famous now?

Dressed like a journalist.

Devilish dialogue: Man in car: “Watch it! Are you trying to kill yourself?” Knight’s clone: “No. No, I want to live.”

Trivia tidbits:

– Here’s some money-saving special effects. When Jack is fighting his clone, that’s just the actor fighting his stunt double.

– Outside the TV station, there’s a reserved parking sign for “F. Mancuso,” referring the show’s executive producer, Frank Mancuso.

This is also the episode with Videodrome-style dream sequence.

Back in the vault: A fast-paced episode that barely lets the audience catch a breath, but one with an emotional story for Ryan at is core. An all-around fun hour of ‘80s horror.

Next: A pirate’s life for me.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

We’ve reached the show’s first big two-parter, episode nineteen, “The Quilt of Hathor,” and episode twenty, “The Quilt of Hathor: The Awakening.”

Witch trial.

This time the cursed antique is a quilt. When you sleep under it, you dream of your enemy’s murder, only for your enemy to die as you dream it. The quilt is owned by Effie, a member of the Amish-like Penitite religious rural community. She’s wants to marry Josiah, the Pentitites’ reverend and leader, and she’s killing all the other women in his life until he marries her. Micki and Ryan get the quilt back, but not until after Effie succeeds in marrying Josiah.

Ryan, meanwhile, falls for Laura, Josiah’s daughter, who is in an arranged marriage to another suiter, Matthew. Ryan loves her so much, he decides to stay and become a Pentitite. To stay, and to have the right to court Laura, Ryan must defeat Matthew in ritualistic combat (!). When Micki returns to the store, she and Jack discover the quilt is a fake, and Effie still has the real one.

Early American Gladiators.

In part 2, Josiah takes control of the quilt’s power and kills Effie, hiding her body under his house. He then keeps killing those investigating Effie’s disappearance, framing Ryan for the murders. The Pentitites almost burn Ryan at the stake (!) until Laura saves the day by revealing evidence of Josiah’s crimes. Josiah jumps from the roof of his barn to avoid prosecution by his people. Laura takes over as the Pentitites’ new leader — this being a rare gender-equality religious sect — which means she and Ryan can no longer be together. Ryan returns to the store, where Micki hopes to make him feel at home.

Dream dance.

When the show is smart: It might seem hokey to spend to hours crazy religious farmland, but, really, the show is firing on all cylinders here. The dream sequences take place in fancy ballrooms, the tonal opposite of the rural setting. In the end, good defeats evil when the Pentitites curb their religious fervor in favor of listening to reason.

When the show is cheesy: The show demands a lot of the audience to be on board for the Ryan/Laura romance. It’s tricky for weekly shows to do a romance-of-the-week, because everything in the relationship is accelerated due to runtime. The double-length helps, though. Also, Laura is shown having responsibilities and a whole life outside of her romance with Ryan, showing she’s not just here for the sake of the male hero.

Love in a barn.

Devilish dialogue: Micki: “You’re not a Pentitite. You love hot dogs and Saturday morning cartoons.”

Trivia tidbits:

– The name Hathor is in reference to the Egyptian goddess of love and motherhood. Doesn’t seem evil, but she was also goddess of music, dance, and foreign lands, which goes against what the Pentatites believe.

“This is the water, and this is the well…”

Back in the vault: The two-hour length gives the creators a chance to tell a meatier story, and they go for it. The kill-you-in-your-dreams thing of course offers a lot of creativity, but there’s also a real sense of Ryan as a lost soul, still searching for somewhere he belongs. Great stuff, all around.

Next: You’re on the air.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

The series takes a hard left into science fiction territory in episode eighteen, “Brain Drain.”

Medical science.

A scientist has a bona fide brain in a jar, which he has hooked up to a computer, allowing the two to communicate. He says the brain has developed a childlike intelligence and could be the key to creating A.I. Similarly, he’s working with a man named Henry, who only has a childlike IQ of 60. What’s more, the scientist owns an antique trephinator, a medical device that drains fluid directly out of the brain. This trephinator is equipped with two seats, the idea being that the fluid can be transferred from one brain to another. Henry uses the antique on the scientist, stealing all of the scientist’s intelligence, and then killing him.

“So, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?”

Micki, Ryan and Jack investigate the museum of science, where Henry is now posing as a scientist. There, Jack reunites with an ex-girlfriend, Viola, a linguist. They rekindle their romance, with him not knowing she’s working with Henry to teach language to the brain-in-jar. Jack asks Viola to marry him, just as Micki and Ryan learn Henry plans to make Viola his next victim. Our heroes find Viola still alive, but her intelligence gone. They hope to use the trephinator to reverse the process. In the final fight, Henry gets caught in the trephinator and, improbably, the other end gets hooked up to the brain-in-jar, reverting Henry to his original low intelligence. Viola ends up dead, and Jack mourns her loss, saying they’ll meet again in the afterlife.

Romance.

When the show is smart: After several episodes of the main cast acting as supporting characters, it’s nice to see some real character development for Jack. There’s even a fun sitcom-like scene where Jack comes home late to find Micki and Ryan waiting up for him like worried parents.

When the show is cheesy: Many have already pointed out that sticking a wire into a brain in a jar is not the key to artificial intelligence. It only works if you view the episode as a throwback to wacky 1950s sci-fi.

Devilish dialogue: Jack: “We were apart for most of our lives. Now she’s just gone someplace without me, again.”

Trivia time:

– We learn Jack was once married, but he and his wife split up because she didn’t approve his always traveling around the world. Jack and Viola once split up for pretty much the same reason. Jack also references playing football when he was younger (I assume it was as a student, but the episode doesn’t say.)

– The trephinator is next on the list of really big antiques. Again there’s no explanation of where they’re keeping the big antiques, until they get more space in season three. While trephination, a.k.a. draining of spinal fluids, was once a barbaric medical technique in the distant past, this trephinator device was made up for the series.

– Apparently this is also the Christmas episode, with snowy streets and Christmas lights on trees in the background.

Smartest guy in the room.

Back in the vault: Again, the writers show they don’t want to repeat themselves by coming up with this “Flowers for Algernon but with murder” plot. Combining the show’s usual horror antics with sci-fi is fun, and it’s nice to see some real character work for Jack.

Next: Welcome to the quilt show.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

It’s the Halloween season, so let’s watch season one of Friday the 13th: The Series.

“Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store… and with it, the curse. Now, they must get everything back, and the real terror begins.”

Here’s episode seventeen, “The Electrocutioner” which predates Wes Craven’s Shocker by two years.

The monochrome mile.

We begin years in the past, where Eli Pittman is sentenced to the electric chair for killing his girlfriend, despite his protestations that he’s innocent. They have to throw the switch on him three times, and yet each time he’s still alive. Cut to the present, and Pittman is working as a dentist under a fake name. He has a cursed antique electric chair doubling as his dentist’s chair. He electrocutes his victims to death, and this gives him temporary electro-superpowers. He then uses his powers to fatally zap those who wrongfully sent him to the chair.

Ah, the old zap ’em through the doorknob gag.

Micki, Ryan and Jack investigate, making themselves targets for Pittman as well. Pittman goes after the prison warden, the last person on his list, just as our heroes arrive at the wardens’ house. Armed with rubber gloves and some jumper cables, Ryan and Jack somehow reverse-electrocute Pittman, burning him to a crisp. (There’s a lot of technobabble about how they do this.)

Jump started.

When the show is smart: The opening flashback to Pittman’s execution is filmed in grainy black and white, with no music and little dialogue, for a real raw footage/documentary feel, unlike anything the show has ever attempted.

When the show is cheesy: This episode has a lot edu-tainment, where Jack explains to the others how electricity works. Maybe this show was aimed at younger viewers after all.

Devilish dialogue: Jack: “Electricity is one of nature’s most powerful elements. If used properly, it can save millions of lives through modern medicine, and maybe someday even take us to the farthest reaches of the universe.” Ryan: “Not to mention power my stereo.”

Chair of doom.

Trivia tidbits:

– This is the first of three episodes in which Angelo Rizacos plays the villain. To his credit, though, it’s a different villain type each time.

– Wikipedia for some reason doesn’t include the electric chair on its list of really big antiques, but I say it counts. Again, there’s no explanation of how or if the store’s vault can hold these bigger items — at least not until they get a bigger space in season three.

Big entrance.

Back in the vault: I’m still waiting for someone to make the definitive killer-dies-in-the-electric-chair-and-comes-back-with-lightning-powers movie. Like the others, this one is a nice try, but not all it could have been.

Next: Hey there, smart stuff.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.