macmcentire

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Remember when I said that the comics world really upped sex and violence during the ‘80s? We get a big dose of that in issue #275. She-Hulk has been an Avenger, she’s battled the Defenders, and she’s put away dozens of supervillains, but in this issue she must fight… porn.

The issue begins with bare skin and lots of it, as She-Hulk is sunbathing on the roof of the Baxter Building, doing that thing where she undoes her bikini top while lying on her stomach. (Do women ever really do that?) A helicopter flies by, stirring up enough wind to blow away the bikini top, and a man inside the ‘copter snaps a photo of bare-chested She-Hulk. (The comic can only show so much, so it’s a little hard to tell what’s happening. Reading further in the story makes it more than clear.) She-Hulk jumps off the roof and grabs onto the helicopter for a few pages of dangling-from-a-helicopter-as-it-flies-wildly-over-the-city action. Wyatt Wingfoot shows up, also in his swimsuit, because he and She-Hulk were having some sort of suntan date. (Is that a thing?) He pursues the helicopter in a Fantasticar.

The helicopter manages to throe She-Hulk off, flinging her into an office building. In classic comic book fashion, the bystanders conveniently provide exposition as to how She-Hulk recently joined the FF in the Thing’s absence. Wyatt catches up to She-Hulk and they take off, only to find the sky in New York littered with helicopters, as it is on any given day. She-Hulk won’t let the matter drop, saying, “I’m still a lawyer, and that makes me ten percent private eye!”

The ‘copter has a sign on it for WXIT radio. She-Hulk calls the station in the guise of the FF’s lawyer, and learns the traffic copter’s home base is a private airfield outside the city. She-Hulk and Wyatt travel there and find the pilot. He doesn’t want to talk, saying the photographer promised him $1,000, but then he gives up the info when She-Hulk threatens to smash the ‘copter.

We spend one page with Johnny and Alicia (who is secretly Lyja the Skrull in disguise) and… whoa! It’s the morning after, if you know what I mean. Johnny has mixed feelings about what they just did, but Alicia/Lyja says it was beautiful, and that they both wanted it to happen. They kiss.

Back to She-Hulk, she has transformed back to her human Jennifer Walters self. She and Wyatt are in Times Square, which is depicted as the ultimate in filth and sleaze. The address leads them to the office of The Naked Truth, a dirty magazine published by T.J. Vance. He’s a real sleazeball, offering to take nude photos of Jennifer and making racist Native American comments about Wyatt. Jennifer demands that Vance relinquish the photos, but Vance argues that She-Hulk is a public figure who exposed herself in public, and that makes the photos public domain. Further, he says the photos are already at the printer, and the magazine has already pre-sold 9 million copies — and he has a safe full of cash right there in his office to prove it.

If all this wasn’t uncomfortable enough, Vance then offers to hand over the photos if Jennifer will sleep with him. She says that although she’s normally against censorship, she’s heard enough. She transforms back into She-Hulk and crumples his safe up into big metal ball. Oh, and his toupee falls off, because what would this scenario be without a toupee gag?

We cut to two weeks later, where Reed has a broken arm and Sue ominously speaks of a “gauntlet” they’ve recently been through. (The next couple issues will catch readers up on what happened.) She-Hulk is bummed because this is day the magazine hits the stands. Johnny shows up with the magazine, only to reveal that the printers didn’t know the photos were supposed to be of a green woman, so they color corrected them, making her look Caucasian skin-colored. She-Hulk is relieved, saying no one will be able to tell it’s her. (Seriously?) Johnny then makes a joke (or not?) about owning some green-tinted sunglasses, and She-Hulk chases after him for some old-fashioned the-FF-horsing-around-the-Baxter-Building fun.

Unstable molecule/Fade out: Reed and Sue mention going to see Little Shop of Horrors. This would be the off-broadway show, before the Frank Oz-directed movie came out.

Flame on: Johnny’s coffee mug reads “Match Head” on it.

Fantastic fifth wheel: One thing I’ve always wondered about this issue: Is She-Hulk, with her invulnerable skin, able to get a suntan? Maybe she just likes being in the sun. Also note that in this issue she has a secret identity, when in previous issues she said she didn’t.

Four and a half: We’re told that Franklin is doing well after going through a horrifying experience during the two-week break, which, again, well get into next issue. Franklin is playing with action figures based on Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Magneto. His “4 1/2″ sweater makes a return.

The Alicia problem: The story goes that Lyja was supposed to infiltrate the FF, but had a change of heart when she fell in love with Johnny. I’d like to believe this issue is that change of heart, what with her reassurance of it being what they both want. It’s just less creepy that way.

Commercial break: Moto-Bot! With pull-back DYNO-DRIVE!

Trivia time: This story was inspired by a sexy She-Hulk pin-up drawn by Kevin Nowlan, published in Marvel Fanfare #18. Nowlan is given a special “inspired by” credit in this issue.

A lot of people think sleazoid publisher Vance is based on Stan Lee, but I don’t see it. He looks way more like a Hefner/Guccione parody to me. The Marvel Wiki tells me Vance never returned after this issue, which is a shame. Just imagine Vance squaring off with J. Jonah Jameson.

Fantastic or frightful? I’m the last person to open a dialogue about gender politics (I’m still stuck in “How do I talk to girls?” mode), but I’m guessing this comic book is not considered a victory for feminism. It’s intended to be a lark, though, an excuse to have some fun before things get all dark and weird.

Next week: Things get all dark and weird.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Just as we’re getting used to the new status quo with She-Hulk on the team, we switch gears and spend issue #274 with the Thing and what he’s up to.

To recap: After the Secret Wars, Ben stayed behind on the alien Battleworld, because he could turn human and back there. While on Battleworld, that planet’s wish-fulfilment effect has been drawing on Ben’s subconscious, with alien variations of his past on Yancy Street and his time in the Air Force. He’s also befriended a super-sexy barbarian swordswoman named Tarianna. This issue specifically is part 2 of a story that began in The Thing #19. Tarianna was kidnapped by an evil figure known only as the Wizard (not the Wizard from the Frightful Four, but a different one). In his pursuit of Tarianna and the Wizard, Ben fought a bunch of Universal Monsters, notably Dracula, the Mummy, and Frankenstein’s Monster, all pulled from his own subconscious. Got all that?

Before we get to Ben, though, the issue starts with some FF subplots. In Connecticut, where Reed and Sue are living with secret identities to raise Franklin, Sue drops an earring which rolls under the refrigerator. She-Hulk is there, in her human form as Jennifer Walters. She transforms into her big green self to move the fridge. What our heroes don’t know is that superstitious neighbor lady Alma Chalmers is spying on them, believing she’s seeing witchcraft. At the Baxter Building, Reed tells Johnny and Alicia (who is really Lyja the Skrull in disguise) that he’s considering leaving the building permanently, now that none of the FF live there, and his inventions have taken up all of their space. Reed can tell that Johnny and Alicia seem to be more than friends these days, and he wonders what Ben would think. He then remarks that Ben must be having “the time of his life” on Battleworld.

Cut to Battleworld, where Ben is in the midst of his fight against Frankenstein’s monster. The monster’s strength is equal to Ben’s, but he is taken out by a tranquilizer dart. A man in green body armor arrives, and shoots Ben with a similar dart. Ben wakes up some time later, inside a horse-drawn wagon, alongside the monster and a man named Gregor Lupus. Ben transforms into his human self to get out of his bindings, and fights his way out of the wagon. The wagon is being led by a Dr. Julius Akerman, a.k.a. the Monster Maker. Akerman transforms Lupus into a werewolf (you saw that one coming, didn’t you?) who fights Ben. Frankenstein’s monster gets loose and kills Akerman. With him no longer in control, the werewolf and the monster befriend Ben.

Ben and the monsters part ways after shaking hands. As he leaves, the monsters fade away into nothingness, showing that they were manifestations of Ben’s subconscious the whole time. Ben seems to have suspected this, because he thinks about whether all this is in his head or if there’s something/someone else pulling the strings. He marches forward on his quest to rescue Tarianna, and we’re given a “To be continued in The Thing #20.”

Then we’re back on Earth, inside the Baxter Building. No one is home, and a tiny probe has broken into the building, flying around inside. It is drilling holes in the building’s walls, inserting small devices of unknown purpose. While there, it encounters the symbiote alien that was, until recently, posing as Spider-Man’s black costume. The symbiote somehow connects to the probe telepathically and convinces the probe to free it. It does, and the symbiote gets out of the building and into New York. This exact same scene is repeated in Amazing Spider-Man #261, and it sets up Spidey’s final confrontation with the symbiote in Web of Spider-Man #1, which later led to the creation of mega-popular villain Venom. Whew.

Unstable molecule: Reed’s considering doing away with the Baxter Building permanently kinda/sorta foreshadows a big change Byrne is planning for the building a few issues from now.

Fade out: There’s a scene where Sue walks by the room she and Reed prepared for the baby, and this brings back all the emotional anguish from the miscarriage.

Clobberin’ time: The rumor is that this crossover issue came about to boost sales for the Thing solo comic. All the Universal monsters stuff doesn’t really get across the far-out sci-fi that was happening in that series, though.

Flame on: Johnny is escorting Alicia to a lecture on modern kinetic sculpture. They’re fun-loving young people!

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk makes a couple of mentions about her being a lawyer. Are we to believe she’s still practicing law in between all her FF and Avengers doings?

Four and a half: This month, Franklin appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #260. He came across the symbiote in Reed’s lab, and it telepathically undid some of the psychic blocks keeping Franklin’s powers in check.

The Alicia problem: Alicia/Lyja doesn’t like the idea of the FF leaving the Baxter Building, saying the building is like a fifth member of the team. This could be because she studied the building as part of her infiltration training, or maybe just because she’s come to care genuinely about the FF.

Commercial break: We’ve all heard of G.I. Joe, but who the heck is this guy?

Trivia time: Continuity error! This issue depicts Battleworld as being alone in space, with all the stars around it extinguished. But, in Secret Wars #12, we saw the Molecule Man restore all those stars.

Akerman is obviously named after Forrest J. Akerman, longtime editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland and spiritual grandfather of all horror movie fans.

Fantastic or frightful? Writer-artist John Byrne had multiple projects going at Marvel during this time, so starting here we get someone else inking FF. The art is still great, but I prefer the thicker, heavier lines we get when Byrne inks his own stuff. Beyond that, this issue does double duty, crossing over with both The Thing and Amazing Spider-Man. It’s just a big monster fight, which is fun, but with little of substance happening.

Next week: Green goes blue.

****

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Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Reed’s search for his long-lost father comes to a head in issue #273. Also, robot pterodactyls!

OK, let’s try to recap all this: The FF have followed Reed’s long-lost father through a time machine into an alternate reality with high-tech cowboys and Neanderthals, where everyone is afraid of someone called “the Warlord.” The previous issue gave us a glimpse of the still-alive Nathaniel Richards, living in this world with a wife and son. Got all that? This issue begins with the FF, along with Wyatt Wingfoot and the cowboy Colby overlook the Warlord’s “fort,” which is a high-tech castle. Another War of the Worlds-inspired tripod attacks, so Johnny confuses it by created a bunch of fire “duplicates” of himself, and then brings the machine down. She-Hulk smashes open the tripod to discover it was operated by remote control.

The Warlord’s wife, who we’ll learn later is named Cassandra, is furious at her Neanderthal servants for failing to defeat the FF. Outside, the FF spot flying machines approaching them. Get this: It’s a bunch of Valkyries riding robot pterodactyls! One of them attacks Reed upon learning his name is Richards, but the Valkyries’ leader stops the fight. She gives a brief history of this world, that it survived disaster and war, only to be united by a wandering stranger, the Warlord. There was peace and huge technological advances, but then the Warlord withdrew into his castle never to be seen again, and the world collapsed into chaos.

Assuming the Warlord is his father, Reed approaches the castle on foot. A hologram of the Warlord, his face covered by a helmet, appears before Reed. Reed makes a passionate speech about how much his father inspired him to pursue the wonders of science, and his disappointment in how his father let this other world fall into disarray. The Warlord responds by summoning more flying machines, and there’s a big fight where the FF, the Valkyries, and the cowboys all fight the Warlord’s robots.

The battle out of his league, Wyatt sneaks off to get closer to the castle. He finds the Warlord and some Neanderthal grunts setting up a deadly anti-matter cannon. Wyatt, the former football star, throws a rock into the cannon with perfect aim. The resulting explosion is an all-white panel with the word “oblivion” in tiny letters at the center. Wyatt wakes up some time later inside the castle. Reed says the Warlord is gone, and his father is all right. Nathaniel is there, and reveals that his wife Cassandra is the true Warlord, and that she was manipulating him the whole time. Nathaniel says he’s going to stay behind, despite his desire to see Earth again, because he has to repair the damage done to this other world, so his new son (who we don’t see in this issue) can have a decent home to grow up in.

Then… THEN… in a one-page epilogue, we get a near-perfect recreation of Kang’s origin from way back in Fantastic Four #19, where in the distant future, the man who would be Kang (then calling himself Rama-Tut) found a Sphinx-shaped time machine in a “national shrine,” and here we learn that the “national shrine” is the same building as the Warlord’s castle in this issue. We were originally taught that Kang is Dr. Doom’s descendant from the future, but this issue suggests that Kang is actually Reed’s future descendant. So, what the heck is this about?!? The issue ends by teasing us that all will be explained in a future Avengers story. That tale came out almost two years later, in Avengers #269-272. I went and tracked down those issues (you’re welcome!) and they are bafflingly confusing. There’s a whole council of Kangs taken from different points in Kang’s lifetime, who all get killed off so there’s only one Kang left. How does this explain the Richards/Doom thing? You know what? Screw Kang.

One more note: It was during this time that the historic Amazing Spider-Man #258 happened. Spidey took Reed up on his suggestion of stopping by the Baxter Building to check out the cool new costume he got during Secret Wars. Reed deduced that the costume is a living creature — a symbiote — living off of Spidey. Reed used a sonic weapon to separate the costume from Spider-Man. This is important for the Fantastic Four series, because from here on, the symbiote is living at the Baxter Building, confined to Reed’s lab. This will come up in future FF issues.

Unstable molecule: Reed credits his love of all things science and his desire to do good to his father. His big speech is a terrific piece of writing, one that drama students could be/should be performing.

Fade out: Sue is barely in this issue. She uses her force fields to protect her team from the Valkyries, and again during the big fight, but she hardly says or does anything else.

Flame on: Johnny uses his flame to create illusion duplicates of himself, showing that he’s using his smarts to defeat his enemies, and not just throwing fireballs at them.

Fantastic fifth wheel: There are a couple of references to She-Hulk being an Avenger and an FF-er simultaneously. It’s true: Even though She-Hulk announced she was leaving the Avengers in Avengers #265, she keeps hanging around with them on their adventures throughout this time.

Commercial break: CBS was really banking on Richard Pryor’s celebrity to sell cartoons:

Trivia time: Nathaniel Richards will return much, much later for all kinds of time travel craziness. The real question mark is whatever happened to his infant son seen in the last issue. I’ve googled and googled and googled, and I can find no other appearances or even mentions of the kid in Marvel history. We never learn what became of him — not even his name!

Fantastic or frightful? The super-abrupt ending kind of brings this issue down, and then the continuity headache created with the Kang epilogue just makes things worse. On the plus side, the fight scene is depicted with neat long vertical panels, which looks cool. The Valkyries build on the imaginative sci-fi from the previous issue. So, it’s all a mixed bag, I suppose.

Next week: The Thing from another world.

****

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Rereading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. The last issue was all set-up and character development, so in issue #272 we get down to some insane sci-fi action!

Reed and the FF are visiting his childhood home, the Richards estate in California, to recover his lost memories. There, the team discovered that Reed’s father disappeared into an alternate reality via a time machine identical to Dr. Doom’s time machine. This issue begins with the FF and Wyatt Wingfoot about the enter the machine in search of Reed’s dad. Our heroes are outfitted for the adventure with cool white vests with tons of pouches. Note that this was years before the Image guys started drawing pouches on everything. They travel through the machine in a nifty two-page spread, only to find themselves in what looks like a war zone. There’s a village in the distance, with battle-damaged land all around it.

Reed sends Sue off to explore invisibly. She reaches the village, which appears to be right out of the Old West. Some cowboys are fighting in the saloon, taking their slugfest into the street. The two then square off for a good ol’ fashioned shootout. They draw, only for humanitarian Sue to put an invisible force field between them. Only, these aren’t cowboy six-shooters but laser guns, with heat-seeking lasers that go around the force field to kill the other guy! The surviving cowboy, Colby, knows something is up. His high-tech gun has an infrared scanner that allows him to see Sue. She turns his gun invisible, but he can still pull the trigger. Sue surrounds herself with a spherical force field to keep out the heat-seeking lasers, and then rolls over Colby. She makes a run for it, and Colby says “Git th’ hosses!” Are you ready for what happens next? We got cowboys riding flying robot horses!

Reed, Johnny, and She-Hulk jump into action, with She-Hulk delivering the “It’s clobberin’ time!” line. Fighting! The cowboys are no match for the FF, who smash up the flying horses real good. But it isn’t just a bunch of cowboys. A gigantic Martian tripod from War of the Worlds attacks next. It shorts out Johnny’s flame, but She-Hulk gets inside it and smashes it from within.

Colby shows up again, and apologizes for picking the fight. He says he thought the FF were working for “the Warlord.” He and the others cowboys react with shock upon hearing the name “Richards” when Reed introduces himself. The two persons piloting the Martian tripod are like Neanderthals, their actions controlled through the tripod’s tech. Colby says they are the Warlord’s mutates, who do the Warlord’s evil bidding. He further explains that this was once a peaceful place, until the Warlord arrived ten years earlier. The dates match up, but Reed refuses to believe that his kind, pacifist father could have become the cruel Warlord.

Cut to the inside of a high-tech fortress, where a woman and some of the mutates are spying on the FF. She’s cruel to the mutates, threatening to flog them. She then changes out of her cool green body armor and into a princess-style gown to tell “his lordship” the news. Turn the page, and there’s Reed’s dad, Nathaniel Richards. This woman is his wife, and they have a baby! He says he’s the happiest man on this troubled Earth.

To be continued?

Unstable molecule: Reed is concerned about letting Sue go off by herself so soon after the miscarriage, but she shuts him down. He later gets into the Old West thing by stretching his arm into a lasso to stop one of the cowboys.

Fade out: Sue says that this is the first time she’s ever fully surrounded herself with a spherical force field, but I know that she did in one Kirby’s last FF issues, and she did it again in the Contest of Champions miniseries.

Flame on: Johnny says he’s used Dr. Doom’s time travel machine more than anyone else on the FF, which I believe is a reference to his solo adventures in Strange Tales back in the day.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk says she prefers action to data gathering, saying all the science stuff makes her feel like she’s back in school. This is more of the “fun-loving” She-Hulk we remember, rather than “lack of confidence” She-Hulk of her first few issues on the team.

Commercial break: This Mario ad attempts to create its own theme song… in print.

Trivia time: I’m having a hard time sorting out the continuity of Dr. Doom’s time machine. (Wikipedia and the Marvel wiki have been no help.) The FF supposedly secured the machine from Doom’s castle and have kept it in the Baxter Building. But other comics have shown the machine still in Doom’s castle. The fan theory going around is that the one in Doom’s castle is the one Doom built, returned to the castle by Kang for some reason, while the one in the Baxter Building is the replica built by Gideon in issue #34. Reed’s father’s time machine was built independent of the other two, even though it looks just like it. The epilogue in issue #273 will confuse this even more. Freakin’ time travel, man.

Fantastic or frightful? Here’s an excuse for writer-artist John Byrne to go hog-wild with the over-the-top sci-fi visuals. The artwork is gorgeous and there’s a fun sense of high adventure throughout. It’s light on story, though, saving most of the plot for the next issue.

Next week: Daddy issues.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Rereading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. We’re 271 issues into this comic, and it’s not until now that Reed Richards gets a proper backstory.

We begin with a birthday party! Sue, Johnny, She-Hulk, Franklin, Wyatt, and Alicia (who is of course Lyja the Skrull in disguise) all surprise Reed with a cake while he’s working in his lab. We get a return of the excuse-for-them-to-use-their-powers-for-the-first-few-pages as Reed stretches his lungs to generate a huge gust of air to blow out the candles, She-Hulk tosses Reed around playfully, and Johnny reveals he used his powers to light the candles. It’s all fun times, but Sue can tell something is troubling Reed. She takes him aside, and he admits, “I can’t remember my mother’s eyes.”

Reed goes on to explain that his mother died when he was seven, but he’s always remembered her eyes. Until now, that is. This and other small gaps in his memory have him concerned. He suspects it has to do with that time his brain was transferred into that alien computer when the FF was in the Negative Zone. Reed says he’s traced the memory loss back to a specific memory, a time shortly before he and the others went to space and got their powers. Reed remembers this as “That terrible day when I battled Gormuu!”

From there, a big chunk of this issue is a flashback told in the style of a 1950s monster comic. Young Reed and Sue are dating and living in Central City, California. When out for a drive on night, a spaceship crash lands near them, and out walks Gormuu, a giant green alien. The Air Force is immediately called in, but all their missile attacks just make Gormuu grow larger. While the U.S. and the Russians debate whether to nuke the monster, Reed goes back to the crash site and explores the inside of Gormuu’s ship. He gets an idea.

Sue and Ben catch up with Reed, who is making a giant energy weapon. (The caption gives “The Rocket Group” as this location.) Ben says the energy beam will just make Gormuu stronger, and he thinks Reed is crazy. Reed punches Ben out (!), and he fires the weapon. It works, and Gormuu gets larger and larger. Instead of getting stronger, though, it makes him weaker, as his mass gets stretched out farther and father, until he’s little more than a disembodied phantom out in space. Reed says he’s even more invested in getting his space rocket completed, that now it’s more important than ever for mankind to explore the stars. He asks Ben to pilot the rocket.

Back in the present, Reed shows some guilt about Ben being trapped as a monster, and additional guilt about Ben staying behind on Battleworld after the Secret Wars ended. He says he lied to Ben, and Sue knows this, but we’re not told what this lie was, exactly. Returning to the matter at hand, Reed says there’s only one way to restore his missing memories. The whole extended family suits up and heads for California, to Reed’s childhood home.

The Fantasticar arrives at the Richards Estate, a gigantic modern-looking mansion. Everyone comments on the warmth and sunshine. Our heroes are greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Peacock, the “family retainers” who keep up the house (a butler and maid, basically). Everyone gathers around for dinner, where Reed explains that his father mysteriously left for parts unknown three years before the FF got their powers. He left Reed a substantial inheritance, which he spent on the first FF rocket, and a separate self-perpetuating fund for the mansion, in case he returns. Mr. Peacock says everything is fine at the mention, “Except for the ghosts, of course!”

Yes, Peacock has occasionally seen ghosts in shapes of Old West cowboys over the years, with the most recent just a few days earlier. Investigating means breaking into Reed’s father’s lab, which has been sealed since he left. Sue turns part of the high-tech door invisible, and Johnny precision-burns through it in just the right spots to open it. Inside, they find a time machine almost identical to Dr. Doom’s time machine (the one we’ve seen on and off since issue #5). Reed theorizes that his father somehow invented time travel before Doom did, and that this explains Peacock’s “ghosts.” Reed further theorizes that his father intended to travel into the future, but instead traveled sideways, landing in an alternate Earth. Reed then announces he’s going to find this other world and bring his father home.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: For the first time, we learn about Reed’s parents and his upbringing, not to mention a long-winded description of his family’s finances. The rocket that sent the FF on their fateful first flight cost $2 billion. Additionally, there are forty candles on Reed’s birthday cake, but the Marvel Wiki insists that Reed’s age is “a matter of interpretation.”

Fade out: Sue debuts her new, shorter hairstyle in this issue. Allegedly, the comics reader who won “Sue’s Coiffure Contest” never left a name, so Marvel couldn’t contact him or her. It’s the great mystery of our time.

Clobberin’ time: In the flashback, Reed punches Ben in the face during their fight. They make up later on when Reed asks Ben to pilot the rocket.

Flame on: Johnny bemoans how the surgeon-like precision burning is “absolutely no fun” and that he was tempted to hit the beach instead.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk mentions that she’s been tanning on the roof of the Baxter Building. That’ll come back to bite her a few issues from now.

Four and a half: Upon arriving in California, Franklin runs off by himself and immediately finds his way to a cookie jar in the kitchen. Some readers have theorized that this might mean a return of his psychic powers.

The Alicia problem: Alicia/Lyja mentions “foliage,” “plants” and “flowers” in one sentence. Could this be Lyja still figuring out the English language? She can’t be using a translator device, or else Reed and company would know it.

Commercial break: The original!

Trivia time: This issue changed Marvel continuity in a big way. Prior to this, continuity officially began with Fantastic Four #1. After this, however, all the monster tales and other comics from the 1950s are considered Marvel “pre-history” and part of the Marvel Universe. A bunch of the old monsters have later shown up again, including giant dragon Fing Fang Foom and Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, several panels in this issue’s flashback are faithful recreations of Groot’s first appearance in Tales to Astonish #13, way back in 1960.

The Gormuu flashback would later be revisited in a Marvel miniseries called Conspiracy, retold from the point of view of the character General Hamilton.

Fantastic or frightful? The flashback scene is retro fun, and writer-artist John Byrne does a superb job of meshing his style with ‘50s comics style. The rest of the issue is also great, no action but a ton of character moments that really make the heroes feel like family.

Next week: Adios, space cowboy.

****

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Rereading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Continuing from the previous issue, #270 finds our heroes in the midst of difficult personal change while fighting one very big bad guy.

Previously, Reed, She-Hulk and Wyatt Wingfoot took off to battle gigantic world-conquering alien Terminus, while Sue stayed behind, still distraught after her miscarriage. Before getting back to any of that, this issue begins with Johnny and Alicia (who is of course Lyja the Skrull in disguise) at Johnny’s new apartment, having a heart-to-heart. Johnny says living on his own made him realize how dependent he’d been on Sue. Alicia/Lyja says she can relate, because her stepfather, the sinister Puppet Master, was way overprotective of her for most of her life. She and Johnny are both learning how to be independent. She further says she understands and forgives Ben for not returning to Earth, and how, without him, she’s turned a corner in her life. She leaves Johnny, but not before giving him a “thank you” kiss. (Or maybe it’s more than that.)

At headquarters, Franklin finds Sue in Reed’s lab, which she destroyed in a fit of anger. She assured Franklin that she’s OK, while also struggling to communicate the fight way to him to describe how she feels. She uses the “4” flare gun to signal Johnny, but he’s flying around NYC too distracted with thoughts about Alicia to notice it. Then there’s a short scene in Houston, where a politician and a bunch of scientists express concern over the massive crater somewhere in the American Southwest, emphasizing that members of the Fantastic Four are on the scene.

In that crater, She-Hulk, Reed, and Wyatt survived an attack from Terminus, and they regroup. Terminus destroys vast miles of land, commenting that the people of Earth won’t make good slaves (yeesh). Terminus pulls out a small capsule containing a tiny alien. The alien complains that Terminus didn’t give him enough time to find a world with plentiful resources, and Terminus just tosses him to the ground. Terminus says all he cares about is wealth, loot, and power. There’s even more mass destruction as Terminus rips up the surface of the Earth and fills the sky with swirling molten lava.

Reed and company find the small alien, who from their perspective is twice as big as a human. The alien says he lied to Terminus, and that he believes there are “cosmic energies” around the Earth signifying heroes with the ability to stop Terminus. The alien dies, and our heroes wonder how to defeat Terminus. She-Hulk makes a crack about hitting him with the whole planet, and this gives Reed an idea.

Terminus marches toward a nearby city, only to be distracted when She-Hulk throws the remains of the FF’s jet at him. Reed takes advantage of the surprise by stretching up to Terminus’ head and attaching a device to it. Terminus shrinks down to small size and is sucked deep into the Earth. Reed says this is his acceleration device he showed off in the last issue. It gave Terminus a velocity of twenty thousand miles per second in an instant, against the direction of the Earth. Terminus isn’t defeated, however. Instead, it will take him months to climb back up to the Earth’s surface. The ground then collapses, so that Wyatt and She-Hulk fall against each other for some flirtatious banter.

The issue ends as we wrap up Wyatt’s subplot, where he turns down the offer to be his tribe’s new chief. Although his tribal elders have great wisdom, he says, they haven’t seen the things he’s seen on his adventures. Reed says Wyatt will always have a place with them in New York, among the Fantastic Four.

Unstable molecule: A lot of readers over the years have wondered why Reed doesn’t just pull out this crazy acceleration machine any time there’s a villain or giant monster. Based on dialogue in this and the previous issue, we can surmise that the tech is both unstable and highly dangerous.

Fade out: In the midst of Sue’s sadness, she considers how others have been referring to as the FF’s most powerful member, and she starts to think of herself that way, too.

Flame on: Johnny has had workers divide up his loft into rooms, including an upstairs bedroom. There’s also a large skylight, for quick entrances and exits when flying.

Fantastic fifth wheel: This issue officially begins the She-Hulk/Wyatt romance, which is going to be a “thing” between them for quite some time.

Four and a half: This issue establishes that Franklin is five years old at this point.

The Alicia problem: The story goes that Lyja was meant to infiltrate the FF, only that she fell in love with Johnny for real. Their dialogue in this issue could be interpreted either way. I’m thinking it makes more sense for her to fall for him genuinely. Even though it’s early for that, a lot of what’s going to come later makes sense if we go with this now.

Commercial break: I love that, instead of a tagline, The Last Starfighter’s poster has three paragraphs of text:

Trivia time: After being defeated so quickly in this issue, Terminus would later go on to menace the Avengers several times, where he finally achieves the mega-villain status promised by this story. He even got to star in his own Marvel crossover event, The Terminus Factor. He also has the distinction of crashing the DC Universe and fighting the Justice League in JLA/Avengers.

Although H.U.B.E.R.T the robot doesn’t appear in this issue, the letters page reveals that his name stands for “Hyper-Ultronic Brain-Employing Randomized Tracings.” Freakin’ H.U.B.E.R.T. the robot.

Fantastic or frightful? Again, the issue doesn’t address the seemingly millions of deaths caused by Terminus before he’s abruptly defeated. This arc is really about all the little character moments, such as Johnny and Alicia bonding, and Wyatt’s big turning point. John Byrne’s art continues to be terrific.

Next week: Pre-history.

****

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