A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. 1968’s Night Fright suffers from a severe lack of Jerry Dandrige.

Here’s what happens: In the backwoods of Texas, a couple of horny college students drive out to the middle of nowhere to make out, when they are killed by… something. The local hillbilly sheriff conducts a very, very slow-moving investigation, eventually concluding that a nearby crashed rocket might have something to do with the murder.

Speculative spectacle: Spoiler! It’s revealed that the killer is an ape, turned into a monster by a sinister NASA experiment. Just like Murders in the Rue Morgue, except it’s crap.

Sleaze factor: Nil. These are the most squeaky-clean horny college students I’ve ever seen.

Quantum quotables: “Did you ever see anything as bad in your life as the way that little girl was chewed up? There wasn’t even enough of her face left to identify.” – A good ol’ boy cop, telling us about the gore instead of showing us.

What the felgercarb? When we finally get a look at the monster, it’s so dark that we can’t tell what we’re looking at. What does it look like? All I can tell you is, it’s kind of hairy.

Microcosmic minutiae: The makeout point in this movie is named “Satan’s Hollow.” That’s also the name of the classic video arcade game prominently featured in the ‘80s cult comedy Joysticks. (Yeah, let’s see you try to come up with trivia for this one.)

Worth 10 cents? Absolutely not.

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.