Rewatching 21 Jump Street! Break out your hankies for one heck of a tearjerker in season two, episode sixteen, “Orpheus 3.3.”

What’s goin’ down: Hanson’s trying to get up the nerve to properly break up with his on-again-off-again girlfriend Amy. Then, while they’re at a convenience store, it’s robbed and the robber shoots Amy right in front of him. Holy crap!

She’s a goner.

Here’s Hanson: Hanson puts on a brave face, saying he’s dealing with the murder just fine. He becomes increasingly obsessed, however, in whether there was something he could have done in the 3.3 seconds he had to act to prevent the killing – this is according to the surveillance tape which he watches over and over.

“My leather wrist armor will protect me.”

Penhall’s prerogatives: While Hanson was on leave for bereavement, Penhall says he and the Jump Street cops “busted up some locker rooms.”

Undercover blues: Hanson goes rogue (not for the first time, and not even for the first time this season) to track down the killer on his own.

Gotcha.

Goin’ to the chapel: Fuller says the killer’s description of “greasy hair and sunken eyes,” applies to half the police department.

Trivia time: Things Hanson says he’s able to do in 3.3 seconds (each): Recite part of the alphabet, take off his shoes, open a can of beer, pass 17 stations on his remote control, remove all the pieces of pepperoni off a slice of pizza, open a can of tuna fish, shuffle a deck of cards, twist the tops off of six bottles of ginger ale, lock and unlock a door, ring a doorbell 22 times, and take off his pants (hubba hubba).

Who needs pants?

Torn from today’s headlines: There’s a line of dialogue about the crime rate increasing. I Googled “Crime rate in 1988” to see if that was accurate.  Instead of crime statistics, though, the first thing that came up was a link to the movie Action Jackson. Sweet!

Jumpin’ or not? Geez, this episode is dark. Hey, 21 Jump Street, I’m ready for you to get all campy and funny again. Not jumpin’.

Next: Break out the champagne.

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