Reading the entire dictionary front to back! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. As we reach the end of the letter F, we’ve got more animal fun, some music history, and are fries really French?

There are multiple definitions for forward, the first of which is, “being near or at or belonging to the front” and “moving, tending or leading to the front.” Is this helpful? Also, a forwarder is, “an agent who forwards goods.” Now I want a Jason Statham movie called THE FORWARDER.

A fossil is “a trace or impression of a plant or animal of a past geologic age preserved in the earth’s crust.” Also, it’s “a person whose ideas are out of date.”

Once again, animal definitions are some of the most amusing. A fox is, “any of various flesh-eating mammals related to wolves but smaller and with slender legs and a more pointed muzzle.” Was it important to add the “flesh-eating” part? It makes them sound more like zombies.

The main definition of a franchise is, “the right or license granted to an individual or group,” and then it gives the example of “to operate a ferry.” Once more I have to ask how old some of these definitions are that keep getting reused every year.

There are a bunch of entries for frank, a lot of which have to do with it being a mark or signature of some kind, something I’d not heard of before. This is followed by Frankenstein, which is “a monstrous creation that usually ruins its originator,” or “a monster in the shape of a man.” Okay, but I’d think the go-to would be a creation made of various differing parts, correct? But hey, I’m not the one with the cushy dictionary writer/editor job.

Here’s something interesting. A french fry is “a strip of potato fried in deep fat.” Okay, sure. But the f in “french” is not capitalized, while it is in the rest of this section, including French, French Door, French Dressing, French horn, French press, French toast, and French twist. Does this dare suggest that fries aren’t really from France?  

More fun with animals! A frog is, “any of various largely aquatic smooth-skinned tailless leaping amphibians.” Nice of them to include “leaping” as part of it, for more of a visual. But then a frog is somehow also, “an ornamental braiding for fastening the front of a garment by a loop through which a button passes.” Probably best not to compliment a woman on her lovely frog.

To fuddle is to “muddle, confuse.” I flipped all the way back to the Bs to see that befuddle is also to “muddle, confuse.” What the difference, then?

Then we get to funk, which is a foul odor or a feeling of depression, but also “music that combines forms of blues, gospel, and soul, and is marked by a strong downbeat.” How to reconcile these? I checked the good ol’ Encyclopedia Britannica, which states that the name is intentional, as early funk musicians intended their sound to reflect and/or respond to life’s harsh realities.

The F section comes to a conclusion with fuzzy, resembling “fine light particles or fibers,” and “being or relating to pleasant usually sentimental emotions.” Followed by fuzzy logic, which is, “a stream of logic in which a statement can be true, false, or any of a continuum of values in between.”

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