Reading the dictionary front to back! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. Hey, hey, this week we get to the letter H!

The book really paints a word picture with green, “a color between blue and yellow in the spectrum, the color of growing fresh grass or of the emerald.” The other definitions also emphasize plants and leafiness, and also “inexperienced, naïve.”

Once again, the dictionary proves itself to be antiquated at times, because a gremlin is “a cause of error or equipment malfunction conceived of as a small gnome.” I don’t know that “gnome” is the first image that comes to mind for most folks today.

Grog is “alcoholic liquor, especially liquor (as rum) mixed with water.” But then the dictionary adds some historical context, “nickname of Edward Vernon, 1757, English admiral responsible for diluting the sailors’ rum.” Nobody tell Jack Sparrow about this guy.

Then we get somewhat more modern with grunge, “heavy metal rock music expressing alienation and discontent.” Any music fans care to comment on whether this is accurate? Grunge is also “untidy or tattered clothing typically worn by grunge fans.” That one sounds about right to me.

A guy is “a man, fellow, or person.” Sure, but that’s the third definition, after “a rope, chain, or rod attached to something as a brace or guide,” and “to make fun of; ridicule.” I wonder how these orders of definitions get decided. You’d think the most common one would be top, but not always.

For a second there, I thought Gymkata made the dictionary. But no, it’s gymkhana, which is just “a meet featuring sports contests,” and “a contest of automobile driving skill.”

The last word under G is gyve, and the definition is just the word “fetter.” Merriam-Webster online offers a little more detail, saying this a restraint, a chain or shackle attached to the feet. Lovely.

And now it’s hello to the letter H! Things begin with quite the eclectic assortment of words, with ha as “to express surprise or joy,” the Bible book Habakkuk, habanera as “a Cuban dance in slow time,” habanero as “a very hot chili pepper that is usually orange when mature,” and habeas corpus as “a writ issued to bring a party before a court.” I dare somebody to use all five in one sentence.

Next we brush past hair, “threadlike outgrowth, especially from the skin of a mammal, also a covering or growth of hairs of an animal or body part.” Maybe a clinical there, but I guess that works.

Halloween is “the evening of October 31 observed especially by children in merrymaking and masquerading.” That doesn’t cover all of it, but I suppose there’s only so much space in the dictionary.

Somebody at the dictionary was feeling playful when they defined ham as “the buttock with its associated thigh.” You don’t see the word buttock as much these days. Ham is also a cut of pork, a showy performer, and amateur radio.

A hand is “the end of a front limb when modified (as in humans) for grasping.” Who did this modification? What does the dictionary know that it’s not saying?

Next: Wanna hang out?

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