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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #543 is the FF’s 45th anniversary, so Marvel wanted to do a special issue. But it’s also a Civil War tie-in, so we have to deal with that as well. The solution? Announce another big change.

One night at the new Baxter Building, Johnny and Ben are sitting down to watch an episode of news show Lateline and its report about the Fantastic Four. Well, they’re watching it while also getting Franklin and Valeria ready for bed.

The show starts, and we get the first of several interview segments. We meet James Kreig, a security guard at the launch pad the night Reed and the gang stole their own rocket for their famous spaceflight. Then we see he’s currently working as a greeter at a Walmart-type store. Some random science professor talks about how no one understands what went wrong with Reed’s spaceflight, while Hank Pym (secretly a Skrull in disguise) says it was a freak accident that transformed the FF, and nothing more. A videographer talks about the early days of the FF feeling like the start of a new age.

Johnny asks Ben where Reed and Sue are, and what time they’re coming back. Ben says the real question is, are they going to stay? Cut to Reed and Sue, sitting high above the city in a hovering Fantasticar. Reed is trying to be romantic, but they can’t help talk about everything that went down during the Civil War. Reed insists all his actions were to help Sue and their family. She’s upset that he explained this to the Mad Thinker before he explained it to her. But then she talks about him taking a hit for her during the final battle, and all she could think about was losing him.

Reed says that despite all his scientific accomplishments, he never felt like a whole person until Sue came into his life. Sue says she knew she was in love with him from the moment they met. And then this happens:

NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE! Back in vol. 4 issue 4, not only did Marvel retcon Reed and Sue’s age difference to make them the same age, but Marvel editorial released a statement explaining why. (The short answer: So it wouldn’t be creepy.) But now we’re back to the way it was? I suppose that with a bunch of movies in development, and with the Civil War hype possibly attracting new readers, there’s some attempt made to reestablish classic Marvel. Maybe?

Anyway, aboard the Fantasticar, Sue talks about Reed is not just smart, but genuinely good, and that he seeks to help anyone who needs it. She says she still loves him, “But it won’t ever be the same.”

Then more Lateline interview segments. T’Challa the Black Panther talks about how the FF aren’t just a team, but a family. Namor the Submariner says that even when he and Reed have been in conflict, he knew Reed to be a man of honor. They even interview Dr. Doom, who says he believes Reed is evil, and the day will come when the entire world will ask him to stop Reed. Ben throws his popcorn at the screen upon hearing this.

This leads to some comedy banter between Ben and Johnny as Johnny heats up some more popcorn. The banter becomes a fight, just like they used to do in the old days, and Franklin and Valeria place bets on who will win.

Back to more Lateline interviews. Mailman Willie Lumpkin says  that despite all their cosmic adventures, the FF never railed to say good morning to him. Wyatt Wingfoot says the FF always treated him like extended family. Spider-Man, whose secret identity is still public, talks about trying to join the FF in his early days. Luke Cage talks about his time as a member of the team, saying that he’ll be there again if they ever need him – as long as he gets paid.

Even Sharon Ventura is interviewed, saying that she and Ben had quite a romance going, and that no one ever treated her like a monster during her time on the team. She-Hulk is next, saying that she’d never seen so much of the universe, not even during her time with the Avengers.

There’s a clip of Ben being interviewed by what looks like Conan O’Brien, saying that FF go on expeditions all the time, and help people they meet along the way. Johnny is interviewed on some MTV-like show, saying he loves the adrenaline rush along with helping people. He says he’d be willing to do anything for his teammates. Sue is interviewed by an Oprah Winfrey-type, who asks her about whether she’s the key to the FF’s success. Sue only responds, “Some people are too kind.”

Then the whole Civil War thing rears its ugly head again. Wolverine is interviewed, saying Reed is a good man, who just screwed up big-time. Tony Stark argues that Reed’s actions during the Civil War were he’s always done, looking to the future and finding a solution. Ben puts the kids to bed for this part, and then he and Johnny debate whether Captain America’s surrender is genuine. Ben says he will still follow Reed into battle, but only if he believes Reed is right. Johnny says he will, if he has the chance.

The Lateline show concludes with the host saying that the FF’s legend is secure, but their future is uncertain. Then Reed and Sue return, saying they’ve talked things out and made a good start. Johnny and Ben extend their hands to them to do their classic four-hands-at-once move, but Sue and Reed don’t join them. She says they’re not leaving the team, but taking a break to work on their marriage. Reed says they have two friends currently looking for a new home, and will fill in for them while they’re away.

Turn the page, and we meet the two newest members of the Fantastic Four, Black Panther and Storm!

This being an anniversary issue, we also have two backup stories. Stan Lee himself writes the first one, with art by Nick Dragotta and Michael Allred. The Mole Man is attacking New York, while Stan visits the FF at their headquarters for some comedy. Stan eventually saves the day by convincing the Mole Man to call off his attack in exchange for a cameo in an upcoming Marvel movie.

The second backup story, written and drawn by Paul Pope, has Johnny, Ben, Spider-Man and Crystal pulling pranks on each other at a car show, only for it to get out of hand. A car explodes, and Spidey and Johnny put out the fire while bickering the whole time.

Unstable molecule: The Lateline footage shows Reed hosting the first-ever Fantastic Four press conference, announcing the team’s existence to the world. We never saw this back in the old days, but it does explain how they lived in secret in issues #1-2 and then were celebrities in issue #3.

Fade out: The woman in Sue’s flashback is not her rarely seen mother, but her Aunt Jewel, a.k.a. Marygay Dinkins, whom we met in the Before the Fantastic Four: The Storms miniseries.

Clobberin’ time: Franklin started a swear jar for Ben, which is full of cash after his recent poker loss.

Flame on: Johnny uses his fire to set off a nearby fire extinguisher so it can spurt on Ben’s face. Does that work?

Fantastic fifth wheel: Welcome to the team, Black Panther and Storm! I’ll get more into their backgrounds in next week’s blog.

Crystal, as a master of the elements, uses her power to control flame in the backup story, acting like a second Human Torch. You have to wonder why we never saw Crystal and Johnny interact like that before.

Luke Cage is shown holding a baby. That’s Danielle “Dani” Cage, daughter of Luke and Jessica Jones. She’s still a little kid in current continuity. I’m sure Marvel will age her up to be a teen superhero one of these days. Dani was named after Danny Rand, a.k.a. Iron Fist.

She-Hulk was still in space at this time in her own series, for a wild Man-Wolf/Starfox/Thanos story. I suppose Lateline could have recorded that interview at any time.

Surprise! That’s not really Sharon Ventura in this issue, but another Skrull in disguise, just in time for the Secret Invasion crossover. Just prior to her being abducted and replaced by the Skrulls, Sharon had joined the Initiative as a member of the Mavericks, who were New Mexico’s superhero team. This also makes Sharon pro-registration, it seems.

Four and a half: Franklin said he learned to gamble after watching Ben and Johnny do it. They try to talk Franklin out of it, but he places bets with Valeria when they start fighting.

Our gal Val: We’re informed that Valeria successfully completed potty training recently. Where’s that Civil War tie-in issue?

Trivia time: One of the videographer’s “photographs” on her wall is really a reproduction of Alex Ross’s painting of the cover of Fantastic Four #1. But is that canon? In the first issue, the giant monster action took place on the Mole Man’s island.

Fantastic or frightful? It’s pretty slim for an anniversary issue, but that’s because it has to introduce a new version of the team as well as still deal with dark cloud of Civil War overhead. Still, some fun nostalgia for long-time fans, so that’s good.

Next: Stormy weather.

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Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Marvel’s epic Civil War crossover comes to an end… except that it doesn’t.

The issue of superhero registration has divided the entire Marvel Universe. After a lot of fighting and casualties, Captain America’s anti-reg side and Iron Man’s pro-reg side confront each other at Ryker’s Island. Let’s do this!

There’s several pages of everybody fighting everybody, while S.H.I.E.L.D. agents attempt to shut down the Negative Zone portal at Ryker’s. They’re stopped by Black Panther and Dagger. When S.H.I.E.L.D. threatens to shut down the portal inside the new Baxter Building, it could trap everyone inside the Negative Zone permanently. (They’re not fighting on Ryker’s Island, but inside the Negative Zone? I don’t think the comics make this clear.)

Dagger contacts Cloak and tells him he must pull off the biggest teleport he’s ever done. Cloak absorbs everyone into his cloak and teleports them all to the sky over Manhattan. Those who can fly save some of their teammates, but others are shown crashing to the ground in a huge explosion (let’s assume these are the super strong and/or invulnerable characters). There’s a quick glimpse of Iron Man ordering the NYPD to evacuate civilians from the area.

The Fantastic Four get some moments during the fight. Johnny flies straight toward Iron Man, only for Iron Man to punch him in the face. Reed watches Spider-Man fight his way past the new Thunderbolts to comment, “Amazing.” Spidey then kicks Reed in the neck (!) and responds, “Spectacular.” Spidey can also be seen punching Reed during the Cloak teleport.

The villainous Thunderbolts gang up on Captain America, almost defeating him. But then Namor flies down from the sky with a bunch of Atlantean warriors to save Cap. With Namor on the anti-reg side, it appears that Cap now has the advantage. But then Iron Man calls in the Thor clone, the newly alive Kree Captain Marvel, and those new heroes seen in Arizona last issue. So now the sides are even again.

At this point, put a bookmark in Civil War #7 and switch over to the middle of Black Panther #25, where a lot of the fighting occurs on the roof of the Wakandan embassy as it’s being evacuated. The Thor clone attacks, in hopes of stopping a plane from leaving the embassy. Storm stands in his way, and there’s several pages of them duking it out. Our own Sue Richards of the FF helps Storm with some force fields at one point. Storm, figuring that the clone is more a machine than a thunder god, uses her lightning to set off an electromagnetic pulse inside the clone’s brain (!). This stops him, but only for a moment, after which Hercules walks up and says, “Allow me to cut in.”

Now go back to Civil War #7. Cap and Iron Man go face-to-face once again. The Vision weakens Iron Man’s armor, allowing Cap to pummel him. The Thor clone tries to help Iron Man, but Hercules holds him back. Nearby, a city bus gets thrown into the fight, making a wall of sorts between the combatants and the civilians. It’s the FF’s own Ben Grimm, having just returned from France. He says he’s there to make sure someone’s watching out for the people.

Then Taskmaster, who’s with the new Thunderbolts, aims a gun at Sue. Reed jumps in at the last second and takes the shot, saving Sue’s life. Sue exclaims, “What have you done to my husband?” and she crushes Taskmaster under a force field.

Nearby, Hercules lifts Thor’s hammer. (He can do that? Wait, is this the actual hammer or isn’t it?). Herc says, “Thor was a friend of mine,” followed by “Thou art no Thor!” Then he uses the hammer to smash in the clone’s head in a moment of truly eye-popping violence.

Time to wrap it all up. Captain America beats the crap out of Iron Man, smashing open his iron face plate. Just before Cap goes for the killing blow, a bunch of NYC firefighters and EMTs surround Cap and stop him. All the other superheroes stop fighting to watch this happen. Teary-eyed, Cap seems to have an epiphany. He says, “We’re not fighting for the people anymore,” followed by, “We’re just fighting.” Cap surrenders to the NYPD, unmasking in front of them and revealing his secret identity to them. He orders all his troops to stand down, adding “That’s an order,” as the cops haul him away.

With the battle over, the Punisher emerges from the shadows, and swipes Captain America’s mask to keep for himself. Flip back over to Black Panther #25, and we see that the Wakandan embassy did indeed get destroyed, but only after everyone got out safely. This was Panther and Storm’s home, and she says they can rebuild. The Panther says it’s worse than that, and he informs her that Cap surrendered. “We’re on our own,” he says.

Now back to Civil War #7. It’s two weeks later, and Reed is writing a letter to Sue, mirroring the one she wrote to him in issue #4. Through this letter, we see that Cap’s anti-reg team helped the clean-up of Manhattan. We also see the official formation of the Fifty States Initiative, which is apparently now just called the Initiative. A small group of heroes loyal to Cap are still operating as the Secret Avengers, including Spider-Man, who’s gone back to his black costume, originally from Secret Wars. The Negative Zone prison is still operational, and with overwhelming positive public response.

Reed concludes the letter saying that the utopian ideals he fought for during the Civil War don’t mean anything without Sue by his side. He promises no more clones and no more traps until she returns. He writes, “None of those painful things we had to do on that path to respectability.” As the letter concludes, we see Sue standing in Reed’s doorway with all her suitcases.

Aboard a S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, Tony Stark has taken over as the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D., with Maria Hill stepping down to the role of deputy director. He once again meets with Miriam Sharp, whose son died in the explosion in issue #1. She says that thanks to his efforts, people can believe in heroes again. He responds, “The best is yet to come, sweetheart.”

And that’s the final word on Civil War. Except it isn’t. This is because the real ending is in Civil War: Front Line #11. Although not in the main series, several Civil War tie-ins hinted that there’s some secret conspiracy behind it all. Front Line is where we follow up on that… sort of.

Reporters Ben Urich and Sally Floyd manage to get interviews with Cap and Iron Man. Cap acts apologetic about his actions, while Sally rips on him for his ideals being outdated. Then they get an audience with Tony Stark. They question him about an incident earlier in Front Line, when the Green Goblin attacked some Atlanteans. They say that Tony controlled nanites in Norman Osbourne’s body to make him attack, in hopes that a war against Atlantis could unite the heroes, rather than drive then apart in the Civil War. Sally says that the registration act, the Initiative, and the Negative Zone prison were all engineered by Stark against the inevitability of a war with Atlantis. Tony throws them out of his office and then chucks his Iron Man helmet across the room in remorse over his actions.

Does this make ANY sense? I’ve read and reread this Front Line scene over and over, and I still don’t get it. Tony Stark saw a war with Atlantis was coming, so he secretly engineered the Civil War as the lesser of two evils? But then he got Norman Osbourne into the new Thunderbolts and gave him the nanites just to program Norman to attack the Atlanteans, just to get the public on his side during the Civil War? And why isn’t any of this playing out in the main Civil War series instead of Front Line?

Here’s the thing: If there’s meant to be an Atlantis vs. the surface world plot brewing under the surface in Civil War, then the crossover should have been more about that. Like, what if Namorita was the only one who survived the explosion in issue #1, instead of Speedball? Turning her into Penance would have kept Atlantis front and center. Then the finale of Civil War could have occurred with Atlantis on the verge of attack. They could either have turned back upon Cap’s surrender, or they could have been the first big challenge for the Initiative. Instead, Namor gets his justice for Namorita in the pages of Wolverine, and then he shows up during the final fight with little consequence.

Instead, we must circle back to the ending of the Civil War miniseries, and this assertation that registration, the Negative Zone prison, and the Initiative all work perfectly, and the US (the world?) is better than ever. It sure doesn’t feel that way after all these months and hundreds of pages of division and violence. I fear this is some of writer Mark Millar’s notorious cynicism at work. The heroes have won, good has defeated evil, but it could only happen if everyone is awful to each other.

Basically, I’m saying the same thing fans have been saying for years. Marvel’s Civil War is a mess.

Unstable molecule: Oh, I never followed up on the cliffhanger at the end of Black Panther #24, where Storm showed up on Reed’s doorstep to talk about registration. As issue #25 begins, Storm doesn’t register, but instead tries to understand where Reed is coming from. It’s more of the same debate about registration all the Marvel characters keep having during Civil War. Storm ends the conversation by rejecting Reed’s rationale.

Fade out: Sue is featured prominently in the Black Panther issue, establishing a friendship between her and Storm. This and Storm’s talk with Reed help set up things to come.

Clobberin’ time: We saw earlier that Johnny left a Fantasticar with Ben, so that’s how he came back from France, but how did he know when the big battle was going to happen? Somebody, likely either Johnny or Reed, must have told him about the plan.

Flame on: I don’t know what Johnny was thinking by flying straight at Iron Man instead of attacking from a distance. But at least he got to have a scene during the finale, rather than be drawn fighting someone in the background like most of the heroes.

Four and a half/Our gal Val: There’s a panel showing Reed tucking the kids into bed after the battle is over, showing his rethinking his priorities after the Civil War.

Fantastic fifth wheel: She-Hulk and Luke Cage are seen in the background of the fight, exchanging blow with various other heroes. Luke Cage is a member of the Secret Avengers at the end.

Vibraxis, former member of the Fantastic Force spinoff, gets mentioned during Reed and Storm’s debate, when Reed lists him among known Wakandan superhumans.

Trivia time: We’re told the battle takes place just outside the new Baxter Building, yet a lot of the action happens around the Wakandan embassy. The Marvel Wiki states that the Baxter Building is on 42nd Street and Madison Avenue, while the embassy is located in Turtle Bay, adjacent to the United Nations complex. Are these close enough to be neighbors? (Here in the real world, 42nd and Madison is a high-end Sephora store.)

Fantastic or frightful? See my “Civil War is a mess” comment above.

Next: Fresh faces.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Reminder that events during Civil War are happening not chronologically, but simultaneously across issues. So, while Civil War #6 builds up to the big finale, there’s still a lot happening across the Marvel Universe.

First, let’s go back to Amazing Spider-Man, where a lot happens. Starting in the middle of issue #536, after Spidey’s fight with Iron Man and his subsequent joining Captain America’s side. Now recovered from the fighting, Peter returns to the high school where he’s been teaching, and we learn this is where Mary Jane and Aunt May are hiding out from Iron Man and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s cape-killers. Mary Jane figures out that Peter intends to fight alongside Cap rather than lay low. Aunt May had also already figured this out, as she has saved one of Peter’s original Spidey suits to replace the high-tech Iron Spider armor. Peter then checks the three of them into a cheap motel.

Spider-Man’s next stop is the nightly news, where he interrupts a live broadcast and gives a big speech. He informs the public that anti-reg heroes are being locked up in a Negative Zone prison without evidence or trial. He then announces that he intends to oppose anyone in favor of the registration act. Cut to Iron Man watching this on TV, who says, “Bring him in.”

In issue #537, a woman at the motel recognizes Peter and makes a phone call. At Captain America’s secret HQ, he asks our own Johnny Storm of the FF to send Peter a message. Peter is at a diner with Mary Jane when they see a giant flaming spider in the sky and the words “Call me.”

In jail (regular jail, not the Negative Zone one) the Kingpin meets with an associate. The man hands him a drawing of a spider and says the “individual” has been located. The Kingpin says he wants to give this person a surprise, to be delivered to anyone at home who can receive it.

Captain America leaves for the meeting with Spider-Man, despite Falcon warning him it could be one of Iron Man’s traps. Cap and Spidey meet on a rooftop, and Cap gives a big speech, spending an entire page quoting a Mark Twain essay. He concludes that it’s not about governments or laws, but about the freedom to stand up for what you believe in. Spidey concludes, “It feels good to be on the right side again.” But the issue ends with a sniper across from the motel, with Mary Jane and Aunt May in his sights.

While that’s happening, Punisher War Journal #3 has an extended version of the Punisher/Captain America fight from Civil War #6. It’s intercut with flashbacks to young Private Frank Castle back when he was in basic training, meeting Captain America when Cap visited his base.

Then the comic returns to the new Microchip, who is under attack by a rogue S.H.I.E.L.D. agent named Bridge. Microchip escapes and reunites with Punisher in Punisher’s hideout. Bridge has the Rhino in his employ, and sends Rhino after Punisher. Punisher uses a gigantic gun named the “Satan Claw” to defeat Rhino. Punisher tells Rhino to send a message to the rest of New York: “I’m back!”

But Punisher’s not quite done with Civil War yet. Remember when Punisher killed Stilt-Man back in Punisher War Journal #1? Issue #4 revisits that with Stilt-Man’s funeral. It’s not held at a funeral home or a church, but at NYC’s secretive and often silly Bar With No Name. A whole bunch of costumed villains show up, drinking and reminiscing about Stilt-Man, and about each other. The night takes a turn when a drunken Armadillo threatens to start a fight, and the whole place is about to become a brawl. Everyone stops, though, when Spider-Man walks through the door.

This is especially awkward because the villains all know he’s really Peter Parker now. He insists that he’s only there to pay his respects. After a tense standoff with the villains, he leaves. The villains talk about working together, but they’re too drunk to get organized. One of them turns over a napkin to reveal a Punisher skull symbol drawn on the other side. Turns out that bartender was the Punisher in disguise all along. He ignites the kerosene hidden all around the bar and walks away as the whole place explodes. He wryly jokes, “Some days I get to celebrate with fireworks.”

Some of Marvel’s horror-ish comics got special Civil War: Casualties of War branding during the crossover. In Ghost Rider, the devil revives and possesses Jack O’ Lantern, who was killed by the Punisher in Civil War #5. He and Ghost Rider battled each other in Illinois.

This fight was part of a much bigger ongoing plot about the Rider tracking down all the devil’s avatars on Earth, which I guess also explains why Ghost Rider was too busy to get involved in the Civil War beyond this.

You might have noticed that Wolverine was absent from the big confrontation at the end of Civil War #6. After he escaped from S.H.I.E.L.D. custody in Wolverine #47, he ends up in Blade #5, another Casualties of War issue. S.H.I.E.L.D. hires Blade to track down and apprehend Wolverine.

They’re evenly matched when they fight, but then Blade remembers meeting Wolverine years earlier, when Wolverine helped him. He lets Wolverine go, and he tells S.H.I.E.L.D. that Wolvie is not their problem, as long as he doesn’t kill someone he’s not supposed to.

In Moon Knight’s Casualties of War issues, Marc Spector is fighting crime while putting together the pieces of his broken memory. He a brief run-in with Spider-Man, who’s now a fugitive after joining Captain America’s side, followed by clandestine meeting with Cap himself. Spector tells Cap he would rather fight crime, and track down a serial murderer called the Clock Killer, a.k.a. the Midnight Man. Cap says he’s not there to recruit, but that he wants Spector to stay out of trouble, and that “maniacs” like him are why everyone’s fighting over superhero registration. He warns Spector to stay on the sidelines.

Spector dons the Moon Knight cowl anyway, and continues his hunt for the Midnight Man, roughing up more criminals along the way. The trail leads to the Punisher. The series leaves Civil War behind at this point, as the confrontation is more about Moon Knight and Punisher’s shared history rather than anything related to the crossover.

In New Avengers, which did a bunch of solo stories during Civil War, Iron Man got his turn in issue #25. A disgruntled former Stark employee known only as Kenny uses his knowledge of Stark tech to break into Avengers Tower. He knocks out Jarvis (who is secretly a Skrull in disguise, note his bright green eyes) and he speaks a codeword that makes Tony’s iron armor freeze, trapping him motionless inside it. He gives a big speech about how Tony never considered his employees in all this Civil War stuff, and how none of them wanted to betray Captain America.

Kenny plants an anti-matter bomb in the building, saying that by getting rid of Iron Man, he’ll end the Civil War. While this is going on, Maria Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D. fights her way past all the building’s security with some advanced tech of her own. She manages to contain the blast from the bomb, but not enough to stop it from killing Kenny. Later, Maria and Tony have a heart-to-heart talk. She admits she’s been out of her depth since taking over leadership of S.H.I.E.L.D. She suggests someone more qualified take the job. Someone like… Iron Man.

Fade out: In the extended version of the Captain America/Punisher fight, Sue suggests the anti-reg heroes lock up the Punisher rather than just let him wander off.

Captain America exits Moon Knight’s mansion by flying away in what looks like a blue sphere. Is this supposed to be one of Sue’s force fields?

Flame on:  Johnny says he knows of several ways to contact Peter Parker, but he opts for a variation on the classic “4” flare in the sky.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Luke Cage is the one who talks Sue and the others out of locking up the Punisher. He argues that a beatdown from Captain America is all it takes for Punisher to get the message.

Trivia time: Okay, here’s the list of the bad guys attending Stilt-Man’s funeral: Armadillo, Masked Marauder, the Prowler, Princess Python, Absorbing Man, Dragon Man, the Eel, the Gibbon, Chameleon, the Answer, Will O’ Wisp, Shocker, Puma, Grizzly, Armada, Cat Burgler, and a Doombot. I didn’t have time this week to look up each one of these guys, so let’s just assume most if not all didn’t stay dead. (Fine, I looked up Stilt-Man. The Jackal later brought him back to life in a Spider-Man story.)

The Blade issue also has a guest appearance by Morbius, who reveals he is registered, like a good little living vampire.

Fantastic or frightful? A lot of Spider-Man’s story feels pivotal to the overall plot of Civil War, so it feels odd to have it in a tie-in rather than the main series. Iron Man’s “Bring him in” cliffhanger goes unresolved, however, because Civil War ends and the Spidey books immediately start their Back in Black event after this. The others do their job and fill in smaller gaps to Civil War, while also progressing Iron Man and Punisher’s stories.

Next: Surrender, Dorothy.

* * * *

Want more? Check out my new ongoing serial, THE SUBTERKNIGHTS, on Kindle Vella. A man searches for his missing sister in a sprawling city full of far-out tech and secret magic. It’s a sci-fi/fantasy hybrid full of action, romance, mystery, and laughs. The first three chapters are FREE! Click here for a list of all my books and serials.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Here’s another look at everything else happening during Marvel’s Civil War mega-event, including lots of Punisher, new characters, and one of the most disliked comics of all time.

First, we’ve got to go back to the beginning of the crossover for Civil War: Runaways/Young Avengers, which takes place between Civil War issues 1 and 2. This miniseries doubled as a sequel/reboot of Grant Morrison’s Marvel Boy mini from a few years earlier. The Cube is an interdimensional top-secret jail for extraterrestrials, and this is where Kree warrior Noh-Varr, a.k.a. Marvel Boy, is imprisoned and being mind-wiped. Maria Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D. visits the Cube, saying she wants to reactivate Noh-Varr and have him deal with California’s teen superhero problem.

The Runaways encounter the Young Avengers while on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D.’s so-called “cape killers.” They fight among each other for a bit (the Runaways don’t like the idea of Avengers in general), only for Noh-Varr and the cape-killers to attack and abduct some members from each team.

The remaining Runaways and Young Avengers form a team of sorts to break into the Cube and rescue their friends. As they do, Noh-Varr gets his mind back and overthrows the Cube’s corrupt warden. He takes control of the Cube and announces a plan to turn it into a new Kree city. The Young Avengers leave for New York, setting up the events of Civil War #2, while the Runaways choose to stay in L.A. and (what else?) run away from the conflict.

Running parallel to Civil War #5 and Amazing Spider-Man #535, we have the debut of a new Punisher War Journal series. The Punisher has returned New York after being in hiding for a while. He murders Stilt-Man (!) and is then pursued by more S.H.I.E.L.D. cape killers. He tracks down the tinkerer, and then a genius named Stuart Clarke, who has hacked Stark tech to make illegal miniature Iron Man robots. Clarke becomes Punisher’s new Microchip (his tech guy, basically) and he converts the Stark tech into a tracker that Punisher uses to locate Captain America’s safehouses and follow the members of Cap’s team.

After some more vigilante-isms, Punisher gets a hit on the tracker from the sewer. He follows it, right into the big fight from Civil War #5, where Jester and Jack o’ Lantern are beating up Spider-Man. He kills the two villains and gets Spidey through the sewer to Cap’s safehouse.

Captain America and Punisher have a talk. Cap doesn’t approve of Punisher’s ways, but Punisher is able to talk the talk, addressing Cap as a fellow soldier. Cap gives Punisher an opportunity to fight – under Cap’s command. It seems like a done deal, but then Cap punches Punisher through a wall just to tell him that Punisher’s using non-lethal weapons from now on. The rest of Cap’s anti-reg heroes don’t like the Punisher being among them, but Cap tells them, “I’m not asking.”

Then there’s several pages of Captain America and the Punisher working side-by-side, breaking into S.H.I.E.L.D. bases for intel-gathering, plotting routes around cape killer patrols, and fighting the Molten Man without killing him. Cap tells him, “Good job, soldier.” Punisher goes back to Clarke and asks for his help on breaking into the new Baxter Building to free all the imprisoned heroes from the Negative Zone. While all this has been happening, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent named Bridge has been pursuing the Punisher and Clarke in secret. At this point, we stick a bookmark in issue #3 and come back to it later, because the rest of the issue crosses over with Civil War #6.

But there’s even more Punisher-related Civil War action to be had. Marvel used the event to debut a brand-new character in the miniseries Underworld. That’s where we meet Jack Dio, formerly an enforcer for the Silvermane crime family. The Kingpin is in jail, leaving the rest of NYC’s organized crime to fight over the top spot, all while the Civil War is happening. Jack takes a job for the Owl, where he’s exposed to a variation of the super-soldier formula that gave us Captain America. A tech whiz supplies him with high-tech guns linked to his high-tech sunglasses, allowing him to perfectly shoot anything he looks at. He fights a bunch of villains and has an especially tense run-in with the Punisher. Then he gets a serum that gives him a Wolverine-style healing factor.

Jack’s story comes to a head when he fights his childhood rival, who also got some super-soldier juice and now calls himself Mr. Pain. Jack then learns that a genius named the Consultant was secretly manipulating all these events in hopes of turning Jackie into the ultimate supervillain. Jack rejects the Consultant’s plan and instead goes into business for himself. And he gives himself a cool new name: Underworld.

This brings us to Civil War: War Crimes, for more about the Kingpin. He’s locked up in Ryker’s Prison, where’s he’s pretty much the boss of the place. He’s also taking secret meetings with Tony Stark. Kingpin gives Stark info on which superheroes are raiding the pro-reg storehouses. Kingpin says it’s in his best interests to help Stark win the Civil War. In New York, super-criminal Hammerhead meets with a bunch of other villains. He says that once the government is done registering all the heroes, they’ll come after super-powered crooks next. The meeting is interrupted by our new favorite guy Underworld, who shoots up the place. But he’s actually there to join Hammerhead’s new gang.

Kingpin continues to pass info to Stark while making more and more enemies among his fellow prisoners. He promises game-changing info about Captain America’s hideout in exchange for his release from prison. Tony agrees to it. As Iron Man, he leads the New Avengers to the address Kingpin gave him. Except it’s not Captain America’s hideout, it’s Hammerhead’s. A huge battle breaks out and Hammerhead is caught in the crossfire. A newspaper headline reports that several more died.

Stark wants to know why Kingpin tricked him like that, especially since Stark was about to make good on his promise to free him. Then we cut to Captain America, where we learn he too was making secret deals with the Kingpin, in hopes of weakening Cap’s team and stopping Hammerhead.

At a hospital, we see Hammerhead survived but is badly injured. Underworld sneaks into the room. Underworld was also secretly working with Kingpin, saying that he knows Kingpin will always come out on top. Underworld shoots and kills Hammerhead. While still in jail, the Kingpin smiles with knowing that he’s won.

Meanwhile the Front Line series kept chugging along, doing an excellent job of showing all the fear and destruction caused by the Civil War. The later issues were mostly focused on reporters Ben Urich and Sally Floyd as they tracked the story of Robbie Baldwin, formerly known as Speedball of the New Warriors.

In one of the crossover’s grimmest, most downbeat moments, Robbie constructs a new suit of armor for himself containing spikes on the inside that stab him every time he moves. This activates his powers, but also reminds him of all the deaths he caused in Civil War #1. He renames himself Penance and sets out on his journey to be darkest antihero of them all.

Thunderbolts was on its 101st issue when it crossed over with Civil War. For someone who doesn’t follow this series regularly, diving into issue #101 was a bewildering task. There are tons of characters, and everyone has some kind of interpersonal drama with everyone else. Thunderbolts leader Baron Zemo attends a meeting with Iron Man, Hank Pym (secretly a Skrull in disguise) and the FF’s own Reed Richards. Although Zemo is a good guy now, there’s still a lot of bad blood between him and the Avengers. Iron Man says that with all the heroes fighting each other, the villains are running around unchecked. He wants the Thunderbolts to track down other villains, not to arrest them, but to recruit them to Iron Man’s side. Zemo agrees to the deal, only to reveal to the other Thunderbolts that he’s already been recruiting villains in secret. This army of villains is his dream of who the Thunderbolts could truly be.

But Zemo’s not done. Next he goes to Captain America and offers vital information that can turn the tide in Cap’s favor. He gives a big speech about their shared history, arguing that despite everything he’s done in the past, he can be better. Cap agrees to the deal. (Or does he?)

Okay, enough with all these street-level crooks and gangsters. Time to get cosmic in Civil War: The Return. There’s been a breakout inside the Negative Zone prison. Inside the prison’s main office we see… Mar-Vell, this universe’s original Captain Marvel. He’s back from the dead for the first time since the landmark Death of Captain Marvel graphic novel in 1982. How is he alive again? Let’s see… his spirit was floating in space, he investigated a mysterious fissure, and the fissure violently brought him back to life as he passed through it. Sure, why not?

Alive again, Mar-Vell was then rescued by the Sentry. Unlike the other Marvel heroes, Mar-Vell remembers his friendship with Sentry. The Sentry makes Mar-Vell an offer, to be the warden of the Negative Zone prison. Mar-Vell spends the rest of the issue reflecting on his life while debating with himself whether to put on his powerful Quantum Bands and return to action. He does, but we don’t see the action that follows because the issue ends there.

Let’s get real. Civil War: The Return was published as Marvel’s ongoing attempt to claim ownership of the name “Captain Marvel” for themselves and not let DC have it. They’d eventually succeed, but not for years later.  I don’t know what the lawyers thought, but fans over the years have called this comic one of the worst ever made. Mar-Vell’s return is as unceremonious as it gets, and the story is all just him standing around a room thinking, with any action or excitement unseen. I can see why Marvel gave the name to Carol.

Unstable molecule: Zemo tries to out-science Reed by bragging about the Thunderbolts’ new interdimensional headquarters. He says it’s far beyond anything Reed or Tony Stark could envision. Yeah, I’m sure.

Fade out: We get a few glimpses of Sue while she’s hanging out with anti-reg heroes in Captain America’s hideout.

Trivia time: After spending five issues on his origin story, and then getting him involved with the Punisher and the Kingpin, our new hero Underworld never appeared again! (Maybe Kate Beckinsale’s lawyers called.)

The Marvel Wiki has a strange note saying that the Underworld who appeared in War Crimes may or may not be a different character than the one in the Underworld miniseries. I don’t know where they got that one from.

Robbie Baldwin would continue to the dark antihero thing as Penance for quite some time, getting involved with the Thunderbolts and during Dark Reign. He returned to his original Speedball suit and persona during the Heroic Age crossover, and he later started a new version of the New Warriors.

Upon meeting Hulkling, the Runaways’ resident Skrull Xavin remarks that Hulkling is a chosen one with a great destiny. This would later be fulfilled when Hulkling became Emporer Dorrek, leader of the Kree/Skrull Alliance. 

Gimmie a gimmick: Marvel published a special edition of Punisher War Journal #1 entirely in black and white, hoping for a classic film noir feel. In the next issue, the Punisher says to Captain America, “It’s not that black and white.”

Fantastic or frightful? The Punisher issues are quite good. They gave him a macabre sense of humor, and his unlikely friendship with Captain America makes him feel like a relatable person and not just a constant murder machine. Underworld is also quite good, and it’s a wasted opportunity they never brought the character back. Thunderbolts is confusing for newbies, Runaways/Young Avengers is more interested in Marvel Boy, and the less said about The Return the better. These comics are, as the saying goes, a mixed bag.

Next: Lost in mad thought.

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