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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Writer Chris Claremont has been establishing new characters and subplots since he took over the series, and in Vol. 3 #21 he starts to tie those threads together. Or… does he?

Who are these new characters again? Alyssa Moy is a super-genius and an old friend (or more?) of Reed’s. Alysande Stuart is the alter ego of barbarian swordswoman Caledonia, who recently traveled to Earth from another dimension. Puppy is Franklin’s new pet, a miniature version of the Inhumans’ teleporting dog Lockjaw. And then there’s teenage Valeria Richards, going by “Marvel Girl,” who says she has “time-danced” into this timeline. At the end of last issue, Franklin and these four newbies were attacked by an interdimensional bounty hunter named Bounty (convenient) and then attacked again by all-female cyber-ninjas called the Bacchae. This issue begins inside a Manhattan nightclub, where the Bacchae have brought the new heroes before Greek gods Hippolyta and Hades. (Remember that the Marvel Universe has both Norse and Greek gods running around.)

Hippolyta, with help from the captions, explains that the Bacchae are seeking revenge from when the FF and Caledonia interrupted a fight between the Bacchae and criminals named the G0-Gang. (This occurred in a single page, seemingly out of nowhere, in vol. 3 #7.) Caledonia fights Hippolyta and the Bacchae, while Alyssa and Valeria lead Franklin, Puppy, and a stunned Bounty to make a run for it.

Hades teleports himself, Caledonia, Hippolyta, and the Bacchae away, leaving the rest inside the now-empty nightclub. Bounty comes to and agrees to help the new team in finding Caledonia. Valeria convinces Puppy to track Caledonia’s scent and teleport them to where she went. (I guess it’s some kind of psychic “scent.”) The trail leads to Hades… and the Underworld.

Cut to Paris, where the Fantastic Four are arguing with French secret agent Reno. The French government continues to hold the humans who had been possessed by the Ruined, and the FF want them to go free. Before any resolution can be reached, Reed gets a message from Alyssa about everyone traveling to the Underworld. While Sue is perplexed as who this new Marvel Girl is, Reed asks for transportation, and says he’s going to call in an expert. Cut to Tanzania, where Hercules is fighting some raiders. The FF catch up with him, and he says that he is no match for Hades. The FF just ask for a way into the Underworld.

Franklin’s group arrive in the Underworld and are immediately confronted by Hela, the Norse goddess of the dead. Valeria introduces herself as “Valeria Von Doom, daughter and heir to the monarch of the Latveria.” She requests passage through the Underworld, while Hela says the group has transgressed and must pay a price. She says she will use the group as captives, bait to lure Thor into the Underworld on a rescue mission. Then, Bounty draws a gun on Hela, saying she’s killed gods before. Hela lets the group go, and they teleport elsewhere.

Franklin’s group arrives next in Tartarus, now the Greek portion of the Underworld. They are attacked by the Bacchae and they find Caledonia unconscious. They’re then confronted by Hippolyta and Hades, along with an army of creatures, including Cerberus, who is not a three-headed hound but a cyborg minotaur thing. A fight breaks out, with the new heroes fighting back all the monsters. Valeria confronts Hades, who says he’s impressed with her but he will not let the team leave.

Then Hercules arrives with the FF, alongside Hades’ wife Persephone. She tells him to call of the attack, and they retreat farther into the Underworld, taking Hippolyta with them. Then Sue and Reed meet Valeria for the first time. Johnny reminds everyone of the alternate future the FF witnessed during their fight with Ronan a while back, in which Reed was dead and Sue had married Dr. Doom with a daughter Valeria. As he wonders if this means that future will come to pass, Valeria ends the issue with a simple, “Hi, Mom.”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed tells Reno not to treat people as outcasts and enemies, or else they will start acting the part, and creating the threat he hoped to avoid. But then the Ruined are pretty much forgotten after that.

Fade out: In this issue’s letters page, a reader suggests that Sue become the sixth Spice Girl, called Invisible Spice. Editor Bobbie Chase responds, saying, “We can pretty much guarantee that this will never happen.”

Clobberin’ time: Bounty is immediately impressed with Ben upon meeting him. She says Ben Grimm is “a strong name for a strong man.”

Flame on: For some reason, Johnny is exposition guy this issue, overly explaining the events of previous issues to everyone.

Four and a half: Franklin’s group is referred to as the “rascals” in bold several times in this issue. Are we meant to think that this team’s name is in fact the Rascals? If so, this makes the fourth super-team Franklin has been a member of, following Power Pack, Fantastic Force, and the Daydreamers.

Our gal Val: Although Valeria does a lot of fighting in this issue, there’s no indication of what powers this version of her might have. The Marvel Wiki is no help, saying this Valeria potentially has psionic powers, but no real answer.

Commercial break: Anybody know where this guitar is today? At the Hard Rock Café? In the store from Pawn Stars? In a box in somebody’s garage somewhere?

Trivia time: This is the first time Hades has shown up in Fantastic Four, but he’s been causing trouble in the Marvel Universe since the ‘60s, when he was a recurring Thor villain. He later became an adversary for Hercules in Herc’s various solo series, and also made several appearances in X-Factor.

Then there’s Hippolyta. She’s queen of the Amazons, operating out of Themiscrya. You might think that sounds like Wonder Woman’s mother, and yes they are both derived from the same Greek myth. She’s had a lot fewer appearances in the Marvel Universe, usually as a companion/sidekick to Hades. When she appeared in Fearless Defenders, Marvel tipped the hat to DC by giving Hippolyta the codename Warrior Woman, which she hated.

Once again, the Bacchae exit the story as soon as they enter it. When they next appear in X-Men, it’s revealed that they were created by Hippolyta in an attempt to create a new breed of Amazons.

Fantastic or frightful? You’d think that a journey into the Underworld to confront the gods of the dead would be a bigger deal than this is. The formation of a brand new superhero team should also be a bigger deal, but there’s only fleeting glimpses of how the Rascals (if that’s what they’re called) operate as a team. It’s just a lot of running around to get us to the Sue/Valeria confrontation on the last page, and not much more.

Next: Daughter world.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. A bunch of new characters have recently been introduced, and now they finally get to do something in vol. 3 #20. Also, there are tentacles.

The FF have returned after their Sliders-like trip throughout the multiverse, only to find that the Eiffel Tower in Paris has been replaced by one made entirely of bones. The heroes immediately deduce that this is the work of the Ruined, magic-using aliens they met in vol. 3 issue #1. There’s a quick recap of how Deterrence Research Corporation (DRC) sponsored an archeological dig in Paris, only to awaken the Ruined from their ancient slumber. Their previous encounter ended with the Ruined working alongside DRC, but now something has changed. The FF investigate the archeological site, joined by a familiar-looking French secret service agent named Reno. Inspecting the hieroglyphics, Johnny recognizes one of them as Arlisse, a woman he briefly dated the last time the team was in Paris.

Elsewhere in Paris, we see sorceress Margali Szardos (this is after encountering an alternate timeline version of her a few issues earlier) who has Arlisse. They are trying to flee from the Ruined, but are caught, with Arlisse transforming from human into a Ruined named Katar of the Bloody Blades.

Johnny flies around Paris hoping to find Arlisse, and sees an energy blast. He follows it to the Paris catacombs, where he encounters the Ruined. They’re still led by Martyr, who was formerly the human Yvette Diamonde. Along with Katar, the other Ruined are B’arr, Stem, and Exalt. They’re about to perform a sacrifice ritual, killing Margali, but Johnny stops, them, with a few pages of fighting.

The Ruined defeat Johnny, knocking him out. They continue with the ritual, only to be interrupted by the rest of the FF. The Ruined use their alien magic to make the walls come alive, trapping the team in gooey tentacles. Fortunately, Johnny is able to wake up in time to save his teammates and stop the Ruined. The Eiffel Tower is returned to normal, and Reno and his team take the Ruined into custody. Johnny argues against this, saying that the Ruined are humans possessed by the aliens, and that Alysse, Yvette and the others can be freed. Reno says the FF have no jurisdiction over the matter. Reed decides not to press the matter for now, but he does add that this isn’t over.

We then go Pier 4, where Franklin is watching a movie alongside a bunch of newly-introduced characters, his teleporting alien dog Puppy, super-genius Alyssa Moy, and visitor from another dimension Alysande Stuart. It appears to be a quiet night at home, except out walks Valeria, who is now a teenager (or perhaps college age). No one knows who she is, although she acts like she lives there. Franklin recognizes her as Valeria, though, saying he’s seen her in one of his prophetic dreams. When Valeria sees how young Franklin is, she says, “This is so not possible!” and “I’m the one time-dancing.”

Before we get any further explanation, they’re attacked by a lasergun-toting woman named Bounty. (This is the mystery figure who was beating up aliens while searching for Alysande a few issues back.) Valeria dons an outfit that is half an FF uniform and half Dr. Doom armor, and introduces herself as the new Marvel Girl. She and Bounty fight, with Bounty easily defeating her.

Then Alysande transforms into her alter ego, the barbarian swordswoman Caledonia. Before they can fight, the roof caves in, knocking everyone out. This was caused the Bacchae (these are the all-female cyber-ninjas who appeared out of nowhere for one page back in vol. 3 #7). They announce they are taking everybody hostage.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says the computer built into his uniform also keeps track of all his teammates, prompting Johnny to remove his own uniform and fly into the final battle in the buff.

Fade out: Sue does very little in this issue. She’s not able to use her force fields against the creepy tentacles, because they sneak up and attack her from behind before she gets a chance.

Clobberin’ time: Ben makes a point of destroying Martyr’s sword, as if that is somehow the source of power. How would Ben know this?

Flame on: Katar makes Johnny pass out by kissing him. Is this her superpower, or is this because of his attraction to her?

Four and a half: The comic remembers that Franklin had dream-based powers back in his Power Pack days. I suppose he just still has these powers in addition to his reality-bending power.

Our gal Val: OK, now that we’re back in the Marvel Universe, can we count THIS as the first appearance of Valeria? That remains unclear. As we’ll soon see, this version of Valeria is from yet another timeline, and yet the Marvel Wiki insists that the MU’s Valeria was created from this Valeria. Fingers crossed that this will all make sense by the time we get to issue #50.

Commercial break: I thought these two ads were related and part of the same promotion, but no. One is from Kellogg, the other from Nabisco.

Trivia time: This is pretty much it for the Ruined, although they’ll be mentioned in upcoming issues, they’re not seen again, as Reed doesn’t quite make good on his promise for a round 2. They do cameo in the Fantastic Four: Foes miniseries, in that one page where a whole bunch of villains appear at once, suggesting that at some point the Ruined escape police custody and become full-on criminals. The Marvel Universe Appendix fan site lists a sixth member of the Ruined, named T’urnaround. Who is this?

French secret agent Reno is not-subtly based on actor Jean Reno. Artist Salvador Larocca later faced some controversy for basing characters he draws on famous celebrities, and I guess this is where we get hints of that.

Can ANYONE identify the movie the playing in the background in this panel?

Fantastic or frightful? While the Ruined are treated as throwaway villains and not explored in any meaningful way (What are their powers? What are their personalities? Doesn’t matter, I guess). The most interesting bit is actually doing something with the growing supporting cast of new members, which gives me hope that the all-over-the-place nature of Claremont’s run is actually going somewhere. Plus, the action slows down just enough so we can follow the plot, an improvement over the last bunch of issues.

Next: Hungy, hungry Hippo.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Our heroes are speeding through a whole bunch of adventures, so I’m speeding through vol. 3 issues 17-19.

Here’s what’s happening. After their fight with Ronan the Accuser in issue #15, the FF have found themselves teleported to an alternate timeline. A deeply-buried single sentence of exposition in issue #16 states that the team’s teleporter (which they just have on them, somehow) is malfunctioning, so that every time they teleport, they have no idea which parallel universe they’ll end up in next, or how to get home. So, yes, this run of issues is just straight-up Sliders.

You’ll recall that issue #16 had our heroes running around a post-apocalypse. Now, in issue #17, we go to Shadow City, where superheroes Lockdown and Rosetta Stone are pursuing supervillains the Tetrad, made up of Grim Ben, Matchstick Johnny, Richard Reed, and Stormy Sue, alongside fellow criminals the Twisted Sisters. It’s revealed that FF’s memories have gone screwy, except for Reed. He’s the only one who remembers Earth, so he’s keeping up the façade of being a master criminal until he can figure out a way to get him and the others back home with their memories intact.

Then you turn the page, and just like that the FF are themselves again, having abruptly teleported to an abandoned high-tech facility inside the Negative Zone.  They have their memories back, and we see Sue is still mutating into a half-alien form, because the parasite-like “mannequin” alien is attached to her. The team is attacked by robots designed to incapacitate and immobilize intruders. Reed manages to hack on just before it takes him out.

Turn the page again, and now we’re back in Shadow City with the Tetrad, and Reed pretending to be the bad guy. He somehow deduces this whole Shadow City setup is one big virtual reality construct the FF have found themselves in. There’s another fight with Lockdown, but Reed throws the fight and surrenders to prevent his brainwashed teammates from committing murder.

Issue #18 starts with the Tetrad locked up in a gigantic prison, the “Bedlam Purgotorium.” Reed stretches his lungs to absurd size to exhale a specific sound frequency to break down the walls of the prison. As everyone makes their escape, the Twisted Sisters – including Sue – merge into a single being named Torque (they’re like the Crystal Gems, apparently.) But Sue rejects the transformation and gets her memories back. Lockdown arrives to stop the jailbreak. While Reed confronts him, Sue escapes from the VR machine, getting her humanity back in the process. Reed and the others then also escape from the virtual world, revealing that there’s an entire underground city of people cooked up to it. Yes, we’ve gone from Sliders to The Matrix. They teleport away, while Lockdown, now aware of the FF’s true existence, swears revenge.

Issue #19 starts with quick glimpses of other universes the FF are visiting during this Sliders phase, including a giant monster world, a world of all robots, some sort of sky-pirates world, and world of nothing but spiders. The seemingly return to the Negative Zone, and Reed says the teleporter can only be used one more time. This planet they’re on is invaded by Annihilus. The FF infiltrates Annihilus’ ship, with Reed fearing Annihilus has stolen some of Reed’s tech from ruins of Four Freedoms Plaza. The heroes fight Annihilus himself. Reed swipes Annihilus’ cosmic control rod and fuses it with his teleporter. There’s a big action scene where the FF escapes from Annihilus and flies through a dangerous portal, but it works taking them back to Earth. They crash land in Paris, France, only to discover that the Eiffel Tower is now… made of bone?!?

To be continued (but they ARE back on Earth, finally)!

Unstable molecule: There’s a short flashback scene of Reed in his younger years, where he and his childhood friend Alyssa Moy are seen in an Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider style adventure, rescuing a young Tibetan prince from danger. This is setting up an upcoming Before the Fantastic Four miniseries.

Fade out: Is it weird that Sue gets a foot rub from Johnny, her brother? I think it might be weird.

Clobberin’ time: To get back to Earth, Sue creates a spaceship-shaped force field, which Ben is then able to steer thanks to his piloting skills? OK comic book, if you say so.

Flame on: Johnny is the most murderous member of the Tetrad. Reed has to extinguish Johnny’s flame to prevent him from killing. Does this suggest a rarely-seen dark side for him?

Commercial break: Remember when D’Amato pulled out the eliminator to stop the Quakes from scoring ten points on the final jam, forcing Kenneth Loge to walk out of the stadium? What do you mean, you don’t know what I’m talking about?

Trivia time: Lockdown and Rosetta Stone only appeared once after this, in 1999’s Contest of Champions II. A few pages in these issues give some backstory. By night they are Batman-like crimefighters. By day Rosetta Stone is Nefer Neith Sinue, a billionaire living an extravagant lifestyle, and Lockdown is Jojo Jimanye, her secretary/bodyguard.

Similarly, the Twisted Sisters would also return only once, in X-Men vol. 2 #105, where a mystery man hired them to kill Psylocke. The mystery man’s identity was never revealed, although Chris Claremont said in an interview that it was going to be Stryfe. The members of the Twisted Sisters are Helix, Gyre, Ringlet, Coil, and Torque.

Fantastic or frightful? I’m tired. These comics are crammed with so much content only to rush through it all, I can barely keep up. The whole setup of the Tetrad vs. Lockdown and Rosetta Stone is really interesting, and would make a great seven-issue arc for a trade, but instead we speed through it in just a few pages, skipping ahead to other storylines also wrapped up in a few pages. It’s frustrating.

Next: In ruins.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. It’s another alternate timeline, more alternate versions of classic characters, and two new heroes who didn’t exactly become household names.

Recap: Ronan the Accuser attacked and teleported the FF to the moon, where he has mind-controlled Sue and is using her powers to help him steal advanced tech from the Watcher’s home in the Blue Area of the moon. Iron Man joined the fight last issue, which was then continued in Invincible Iron Man #14. In that issue, the heroes separate Sue from Ronan, but Ronan still manages to get ahold of a weapon, the Psyche-Magnitron. The heroes manage to short-circuit the weapon, which then teleports Ronan away, seemingly stopping him. The heroes leave the moon, while Ronan returns to his ship, now with the blueprints for the Psyche-Magnitron.

Fantastic Four #16 begins not on the moon, but in Limbo (described as a “place beyond space and time”) where three villains are watching the FF. They are X-Men enemies Destiny and Legion, along with a demonic-looking lady named Margali Szardos. All three characters, we’re told, have an imbalance in their souls, trapping them forever in Limbo. So, where is the Fantastic Four? We see they are still on the Blue Area of the moon, but they look out at Earth to find a artificial ring spinning around Earth, letting them know that, like Ronan, they were also teleported somewhere at the end of the fight.

Sue has come to her senses by now, but the so-called mannequin alien that caused the mind control is still transforming her into a half-alien. The FF then find a statue of the team, only it’s Reed, Ben, Johnny and Dr. Doom. Everybody concludes that this is another glimpse of the alternate timeline from last issue, in which Sue was Baroness Doom.

Iron Man flies up, only it’s not the Iron Man we know. He attacks the FF, and he’s joined by a group of Avengers – except that they’re all Kree versions of the Avengers. They unimaginatively call themselves the Kree Avengers, and their unimaginative names are Kree Iron Man, Kree Scarlet Witch, Kree Giant-Man, and an oxymoron, Kree Captain America.

The FF escape the Kree, steal a nearby spaceship, and head for Earth. Reed and Ben speculate that the timeline has changed because of the weapon Ronan stole. They reach Earth, to find the remains of a Brood invasion, and a destroyed, unpopulated city. After fighting off Kree Iron Man, the FF then run into two humans, Lucas and Redwing. They explain that in this timeline, the Kree invaded after a worldwide cataclysm, and have been battling the Brood on Earth ever since. On cue, the Brood attack for a few more pages of fighting.

Lucas and Redwing fight their way to the Brood queen, revealing that their mission is to kill the queen. The queen puts up a good fight, managing to incapacitate the FF. But this leaves an opening for Lucas and Redwing to jump in and strike the final blow. Then the FF teleport away, by the same means that brought them there. We then cut to the three characters from the beginning. Margali says that the FF were brought from the timestream to this very moment, because their actions in the fight helped change the course of this timeline. Now the heroes are on their way again, to parts unknown…

Unstable molecule: Reed continues to use the built-in computer on his FF uniform, tracking Lucas and Redbird as the pair are several stories below him.

Fade out: The Iron Man issue reveals that the mannequin alien isn’t just Ronan mind-controlling Sue, but that she follows orders given to her by anyone. Basically, she’s Ella Enchanted. This seems to have worn off by the FF issue, although she’s still transforming into a half-alien form.

Clobberin’ time: Ben is again a pilot in this issue, managing to fly a Kree ship from the moon to Earth, and just barely landing it on the surface.

Flame on: Johnny is able to go toe-to-toe in a fight against Kree Iron Man, with the two evenly matched. Johnny suspects the same is true if he ever fought the “real” Iron Man, but we can only speculate on that for now.

Commercial break: “Tobias, if you don’t morph, you’ll be a bird forever! Oh no, Tobias!”

Trivia time: This Margali character has a confusing backstory involving a lot of Marvels demon characters, and she figures heavily into Nightcrawler and Mystique’s elaborate origins. You don’t need to know any of that for this issue, though, because this is an alternate-timeline version of the character, who only appeared once. Similarly, if you want the further adventures of Lucas and Redwing, you’re out of luck. This issue is their only appearance to date.

Hey, what happened to Charlotte Jones, the NYPD cop who was the FF on the first part of this story? It’s mostly skipped over in the Iron Man issue, but she made it back to Earth. She’ll show up again a year later in a couple of X-Men books, and she has cameos in the House of M and Heroic Age crossovers.

The Iron Man issue has a subplot about James Rhodes (a.k.a. War Machine) in Casablanca, searching for a man named Parnell. This would be Parnell Jacobs, a wealthy mercenary who also wore the Iron Machine armor for a while. This plot would wrap up (more or less) in the Machinery of War storyline, and Parnell returned much later during the Dark Reign crossover.

The other subplot in Iron Man has Iron Man’s pal Happy Hogan starting a romance with a woman named Hannah Donleavy. She went on to make a few more appearances around this time, always at Happy’s side. The Marvel Wiki says they’re just friends, but it looks like a lot than that to me.

Fantastic or frightful? This era (era) of the series keeps throwing the characters around from alternate universe to so often and so chaotically, that I have alt-timeline whiplash. And because it’s another universe, that means it feels like there’s no real stakes for the characters. I keep hoping Chris Claremont is going somewhere with all this running around of the last few issues, but I don’t know anymore.

Next: Matchstick men.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Iron Man guest stars in vol. 3 issue #15, as does another character who will eventually become a big part of FF lore.

Recap: Ronan the Accuser returned to Earth and picked a fight with the FF, ending with him using an alien called a “mannequin” to mind-control Sue. He and the FF teleported to the Blue Area of the Moon, where Ronan plots to break into the Watcher’s home and steal the advanced alien tech inside. Reed, Ben, and Johnny defeated three Kree criminals Ronan sent after them and now they’ve regrouped. As this issue begins, Ronan explains that the Kree have recently been conquered by the Shi’ar, so he needs the Watcher’s tech to properly mount an resistance.

Nearby, the moon-located S.H.I.E.L.D. Starbase has taken note of the situation, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents call for help. From there, we go to a mansion on an island at the center of Lake Washington, current home of Tony Stark. Tony isn’t doing well lately, as his Iron Man armor has been generating an energy field that’s made him fatally ill. For this occasion, however, he dons a special never-before-seen prototype armor to save the day.

Cut to the moon, where Reed, Ben, Johnny, and NYPD officer (and friend of the X-Men) Charlotte Jones make their way through underground tunnels toward the Watcher’s home. Reed’s uniform is equipped with sensors that keep him informed about what Ronan’s up to. Jonny wants to fly off and fight right there, but Reed stops and him and tells Johnny to keep his anger in check. Meanwhile, Ronan continues blasting the outside of the Watcher’s house, while the mannequin starts transforming Sue into an alien creature. The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents attack, but Sue and Ronan drive them back. Sue’s eyes tear up, showing that some part of her knows what she’s doing.

What happens next is a little confusing. Reed, Ben, Johnny, and Charlotte pass through some strange energy pulses, and then enter a room to find Alicia there, working on a large sculpture of the FF. Caledonia is there, wearing an FF uniform, and she’s joined by Sue, who is introduced as “Baroness Von Doom.” The explanation is rushed through pretty quick, and it’s that this tunnel they’re in contains “pockets of warped time,” which apparently include alternate timelines. Alt-Sue enters wearing Dr. Doom-like armor, joined by a grownup Franklin, and a daughter… Valeria!

Franklin spots Reed, and they exchange some strange dialogue before Iron Man shows up (his prototype armor has a teleporter) and disrupts the connection between the two timelines. Or something. Ronan and Sue, meanwhile, manage to punch a hole in the Watcher’s house, and they finally make it inside. Then it’s back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, where they report a worldwide electromagnetic pulse on Earth, which for some reason has activated and armed every nuclear bomb on the planet.

The rest of the issue is a fight, as Iron Man’s new armor goes haywire, attacking the FF by itself, with the FF fighting back. There’s a lot of technobabble about the teleport and the electromagnetic pulse, but the gist of is that Iron Man can stop the nukes by rebooting his armor, but he can’t do it while the armor is under attack. Ben manages to hold Iron Man down as Reed activates the reboot. There’s enough residual charge in the armor to transport them all inside the Watcher’s home. With all systems back online, Reed catches Iron Man back up to speed, and they rush off to stop Ronan.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Reed says his uniform is his “wearable computer” complete with Star Trek-like sensors. Let’s see how often this comes up in the future. Also, why don’t his teammates have this built-in computer?

Fade out: Sue’s force fields are crucial in penetrating the exterior dome of the Watcher’s house, showing that Ronan’s attack on the FF was about more than just revenge.

Clobberin’ time: Ben wraps his arms around Iron Man instead of punching him, claiming that this is his “ju-jitsu” [sic] skills. I’m going to assume that Ben is joking, as he’s never been shown to be any sort of martial arts master before this.

Flame on: Johnny takes Sue’s abduction deeply personal, giving a big speech about how his and Sue’s parents are both dead, and how she’s his only family. (I thought the FF was your family, dude.)

Four and a half: OK, what is going on in this alternate timeline? It’s partially foreshadowing upcoming storylines, as if to say that this is what will happen if upcoming events don’t turn out the way they will eventually turn out. Anyway, Franklin’s warning for Reed is “You have to let Galactus go!”

Our gal Val: Welcome to the series, Valeria! Can we or can’t we count this as her first appearance? No one can seem to agree. The Marvel wiki has all the other alt-timeline characters labeled as such, except for Val. Either way, this lets readers know there’s a Fantastic Four daughter on the way, and she’ll be here sooner rather than later.

Commercial break: This ad stretches across the tops of two pages, forcing this month’s Bullpen Bulletins to be only a half-page. I hope Marvel got paid a lot for this one.

Trivia time: The Shi’ar overthrew the Kree empire during the Operation: Galactic Storm crossover. They would continue to fight each other since then, with the Kree eventually rising up and succeeding in defeating the Shi’ar during the War of Kings crossover.

For those of you making lists of all the Iron Man armors, the one in this issue is the “Experimental Safe Armor.”

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in this issue are Callie Yeager, Gene, Jake, and Lucian. The Marvel Wiki says this story arc are their only appearances, but Iron Man and Callie have some sort of history, as he trusts Callie wouldn’t call him unless it was really important. (I have no idea why these four are wearing their civilian clothes – on the moon! – instead of their S.H.I.E.L.D. uniforms.)

Fantastic or frightful? I don’t know. It feels like the alternate timeline thing and the EMP/nukes thing are just filler. They’re roadblocks keeping us from getting to the Ronan story, which is what we’re here for. I want to give writer Chris Claremont the benefit of the doubt that he’s going somewhere with all this, but it nonetheless feels like another case of comics’ meandering plot syndrome.

Next: Avengement.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.