A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. 1967’s Mission Stardust depicts the first moon landing, and it went a lot differently than I thought.

Here’s what happens: A bunch of heroic astronauts are the first to land on moon. There, they meet an alien scientist and his hot female assistant. The alien is dying, so the astronauts try to secretly take him back to Earth to a doctor. Their return to Earth sets off an international incident, thanks to unscrupulous humans who want the advanced alien tech for themselves.

Speculative spectacle: The aliens can control energy fields, which basically makes them magic, able to go all kinds of things, which includes force fields, teleportation, interstellar travel, and more. On their world, diamonds are useless junk just lying around everywhere, which comes in handy once they’re running around on Earth.

Sleaze factor: The female alien casually undresses in front of one of the astronauts, and then says, “Oh, are you saying a naked girl is of interest… to a man?”

Quantum quotables: “I’d prefer a twelve-foot eight-headed monster to this blasted silence!” – authentic astronaut talk.

What the felgercarb? Nurses equipped with tear gas guns? Is that standard operating room procedure?

Microcosmic minutiae: This movie is actually an adaptation of Perry Rhodan, a popular science fiction pulp series. Created in Germany in 1961, Perry Rhodan is still going strong and has a huge cult following in Europe. Fans consider this movie the worst of the franchise. I guess it was the Batman and Robin of its day.

Worth ten cents? This is basically a 1950s sci-fi flick, except that it was made in 1967. It has tons of retro charm, but I hesitate to call it “good.”

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