A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. Today, it’s a trip deep into classic 1950s sci-fi with The Gypsy Moon.

Here’s what happens: Heroic space ranger Rocky Jones explores the cosmos with his pals, sidekick Winky (WINKY?!?), elderly Professor Newton, annoying little kid Bobby, and hot space babe Vena. They encounter two moons in danger of crashing into one another, with people living on each one, on the verge of war. Rocky and company fight to put things right. Meanwhile, back on Earth, everyone thinks Rocky is dead, and some evil folks want to use this misunderstanding to their advantage.

Speculative spectacle: In addition to the usual spaceships-and-alien-planets thing, there’s a universal translator (complete with tickertape!), and alien music that is so awful it is used as a weapon. Hey, I wonder if that music is [INSERT NAME OF SINGER/BAND YOU HATE HERE].

Sleaze factor: None intentional, although space girl Vena is quite the cosmic hottie.

Quantum quotables: Winky: (Talking about Earth) “You know, there’s a girl back in…” Vena: “Oh, Winky, she’ll be true to you. The longer that absence, the warmer the kiss.”

What the felgercarb? Little Bobby is reading The Odyssey as part of his school work, and he inspires the others to use Rocky’s ship as a Trojan Horse to help save the day. Something something Wesley Crusher something.

Microcosmic minutiae: You’ve probably guessed by now that this is a couple of episodes of Rocky Jones Space Ranger edited together into a single feature. I’d always believed these were matinee serials, but the internet is trying real hard to convince me they were originally made for television.

Worth ten cents? Yes, the production values are poor, the acting is stilted, the hand-to-hand fighting is Shatner-y, and everything’s buried under 5,000 pounds of pure cheese, but I can’t help but enjoy it. I have a real soft spot for 1950s sci-fi, there’s an earnestness and genuineness to these things that can’t be replicated.

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.