Did you know Dracula had his own TV show in 1990? This is the Halloween season, so let’s watch it!

Dracula the Series is a weird and wacky show, and it just gets weirder and wackier in episode five, “The Vampire Solution.”

Cemetery plot: Arthur, one of Uncle Gustav’s former students, is in town, having acquired a rare plant that could be the cure for vampirism. Arthur is abducted, and Gustav breaks into Lucard’s (a.k.a. Dracula’s) office to investigate. Lucard captures Gustav and bites him. The kids — Chris, Max, and Sophie — mount a rescue that night. Turns out the vampire cure got switched with one of Max’s energy drinks, giving Max temporary anti-vampire lightning powers (!). They cure Gustav, but Arthur decides to remain a vampire.

Every episode has a gratuitous fang shot, in case you forgot.

King of the vampires: A running joke in this episode is Lucard quoting Shakespeare before chowing down on his victims. This is doubly funny now that we know the actor playing him went on to do tons of Shakespeare on stage.

Blood brothers: Younger brother Max has decided he’s into fitness this week, constantly working out and chugging energy drinks. Because a vampire hunter must stay in shape and all that.

“Unlimited pow-WAH!!!”

The new Mina: Sophie teaches Max some Tai Chi moves to help with his fitness regimen. Later, she translates the recipe for anti-vampire cure from ancient Latin. Who is this girl?

And you thought Jet Li was the Tai Chi master.

Stake master: We learn Gustav has a brother, Wilhelm, who apparently lives in town. They haven’t spoken in years, however. Also, Gustav and Lucard’s henchman Klaus clearly have a history.

Slayer’s handbook: Remember the all-powerful Cross of the Magus from the second episode? It returns in this one, where its incredible magic power is used to defeat Arthur after he goes full vamp.

Hey there.

Killer quotes: Lucard: “Gentlemen, gentlemen! Conflict makes me thirsty.”

Behind the screams: In this episode, we meet Klaus, Lucard’s right hand man, who will be a recurring character throughout the series. Klaus was played by Geraint Wyn Davies, whose list of TV acting credits is a mile long. He’s arguably most well known for another vampire show, Forever Knight, where he played vampire detective Nicholas “Nick” Knight.

Strike a pose.

Bite me: This one packs a ton of crazy ideas into one episode, rocketing along from one big twist or set piece to the next, with no chance for the audience to catch its breath. It’s all action and chases, which is good, but hardly any character development, which isn’t as good.

Next: Wake up, sheeple!

****

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