Reading the entire dictionary front to back! It’s something I’ve always wanted to try. As we continue working through the letter H, things get… hardcore.

Take a gander at handsome, defined as “pleasing and usually generous in appearance,” “sizable, ample,” and “generous, liberal.” It also has one of those entomology notes in parenthesis, saying that in Old English, it meant, “easy to manipulate,” which might explain a lot. It also doesn’t specify men only, so get handsome, ladies!

There are multiple definitions for hang, mostly about fasting items to a wall or ledge, or to droop in space. There’s also “to remain stationary in the air,” which I suppose is there for the basketball fans. And it concludes with “to pass time by idly relaxing or socializing” and includes an example in parenthesis, “at the mall.” The dictionary thinks malls still exist.

Hardcore is “the most determined or dedicated members of a specified group.” But then the dictionary gets a little judgmental the second definition, “extremely resistant to solution or improvement.” Doesn’t sound so hardcore to me.

Harlequin is weirdly specific, “a character (as in comedy) with a shaved head, masked face, variegated tights, and a wooden sword.” I’m not an expert in the ol’ commedia dell’arte, but I wonder how concrete this list is.

More fun with mythology, as a harpy is “a malign creature of myth having a woman’s head and a bird’s body.” It’s also a “predatory person,” and a “shrewish woman.” I don’t know how they are differentiating between woman and person, but that’s the dictionary for you.

A hat is simply “a covering for the head usually having a shaped crown and bridge.” Then the book jumps ahead and steals a definition from the letter U with under one’s hat, meaning “secret” with an example of “kept the plans under his hat.” I guess one dictionary editor snuck his elevator pitch for a spy movie in there.

Hazard is “a dice game” before it’s “a source of danger” or “an obstacle on a golf course.” It’s a game involving rolling only two dice, but the rules get more and more complicated as it goes on. And yes, betting is involved. There are a lot of dice games like this, which strikes me as Dungeons and Dragons but without the fantasy.

The head entry starts with “the front or upper part of the body containing the brain, the chief sense organs, and the mouth.” Is “chief sense organs” a common phrase I don’t know? This is followed by almost two pages of words with “head-” as a prefix.

The heart is of course the body’s muscular organ, or the symbol of a heart, but it’s also “the younger central part of a compact leafy cluster.” Is it somebody’s job to monitor the ages of leafy clusters?

Heat is “a condition of being hot,” and similar definitions. It’s also “sexual excitement, especially in female mammals.” I’ll assume this refers more to cats and like rather than humans.

Heavy metal is “energetic and highly amplified electronic rock music.” I guess just “loud” wasn’t specific enough. This is followed by heavy water, “water enriched in deuterium.” Does that include… Heavy Rain?

The animal definitions continue to be some of the most interesting. A hedgehog is “a small, Old World insect eating mammal covered with spines.” Does this mean it’s an Old World mammal, or it’s a mammal that eats Old World insects?

Hedonism is “a doctrine that pleasure is the chief good in life,” and “a way of life based on this.” I question the use of “doctrine” to describe this.

Then we take flight with helicopter, “an aircraft that is supported in the air by one or more rotors revolving on substantially vertical axes. This one also has an entomology note in parentheses, saying it’s from the Greek helik, meaning spiral, and pteron, meaning wing. Cool.

Next: Go forth, hence!

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