The Three Rs for the week of Jan. 21

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This is supposed to be a writer’s blog, which means I have to blog about writer-y stuff. So here’s my version of the three Rs: (W)riting, Reading, and a little bit of Randomness.

(W)riting

One of my favorite writing blogs is Alan Rinzler’s. He’s something of a rockstar in the publishing world, these days working for himself as a developmental editor. His blog covers all things writing and publishing. Since he knows pretty much everyone in the book world, he gets a lot of great and interesting guests to join in the discussion.

Here’s the link: http://www.alanrinzler.com/blog/

Reading

Cory Doctorow’s PIRATE CINEMA is what I’ve been enjoying this week. It’s about a bunch of homeless kids in near-future London who are, in their own way, taking on the government’s increasingly strict internet piracy laws. Doctorow has tendency to speechify on the subject, so the momentum occasionally grinds to halt for a discourse on the vagaries of copyright law, but the characters are so likable and engaging that you don’t mind so much.

OMG, a link: http://www.amazon.com/Pirate-Cinema-Cory-Doctorow/dp/0765329085

Randomness

* * * *

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Future Hunters

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. If you like non-stop action sci-fi with a lot of pretentious Biblical references,  1986’s Future Hunters has got you covered.

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Here’s what happens: In the post-apocalyptic future, a Mad Max-type hero steals the Spear of Destiny – you know, the one from the Bible. He then travels back in time to the “present” of 1986. Fatally wounded, he gives the spear to a sexy young couple and tasks them with returning the spear to its sheath, which will magically prevent the apocalypse.

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Speculative spectacle: The movie begins with a Road Warrior-style car chase, complete with machine guns and crashing cars. This puts the hero in jail, where he fistfights with a bunch of his fellow inmates and manages a daring escape. He then single-handedly storms his enemy’s compound in a huge gun battle. He successfully gets the magic spear and unleashes its power, blowing up the entire compound in a massive explosion – AND ALL THIS HAPPENS IN THE FIRST EIGHT MINUTES OF THE MOVIE!!!  Once the setting moves to the present, it’s mostly conspiracy thriller stuff, with more chases and fights. Then, in the final third, the action shifts to the jungle, where we meet not one, but two lost tribes. One is a tribe of little people who pull off all kinds of Ewok-ish antics, and the other is a tribe of fierce yet scantily-clad warrior women. Is your head spinning yet?

Sleaze factor: You want romping around a hotel room undressed? We got romping around a hotel room undressed.

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Quantum quotables: (As thugs are shooting at them) Boyfriend: “Just give it to them, huh? Just do it. Just get rid of it. Just throw it to them, huh?” Girlfriend: “Who is ‘them,’ Slade? This could make my career.”

What the felgercarb? At around the halfway point, a martial arts master is introduced, and the movie becomes an old-school kung fu flick. It’s fun, but so out-of-nowhere that I thought I’d bumped my remote and accidentally put on a different movie.

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Microcosmic minutiae: A very young Robert Patrick, of Terminator 2 and The X-Files, starts earning his sci-fi cred as the boyfriend. The martial arts fighter is played by Bruce Li, one of many Bruce Lee rip-off actors that populated low-budget action films in the late ‘70s/early ‘80s.

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Worth 10 cents? This movie is better than most this set, and here’s why: It has a fast pace and tons of action. Nothing beats the badass-ness of the opening sequence, but the rest of the movie has fights and chases galore. There’s no downtime – something exciting is always happening. If you love bad movies, this one’s a must-see.

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Fantastic Friday: The Ballad of Atlantis

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. I was debating on whether to include the annuals as part of this re-read, but this first one is just too good not to. Strap in for a whopping 72 pages of undersea Atlantis action in Fantastic Four annual #1.

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Since he first appeared in issue #4, Namor the Sub-Mariner’s whole thing has been his search for Atlantis, and his lost people. As the annual begins, he’s already found them and retaken his throne. This is told to us in three eye-popping splash pages in a row (a rarity in those days), in which Namor addresses throngs of loyal Atlanteans. He announces that his next step is to make the human race pay for its crimes against Atlantis. It’s here that we meet Namor’s long-lost beloved, Lady Dorma. We’re also introduced to Krang (No, the Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a different Krang), an Atlantis warlord who would’ve been heir to the throne if Namor hadn’t returned. He also has the hots for Dorma, which further complicates matters.

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Meanwhile, at FF headquarters, we get the requisite the-heroes-have-an-excuse-to-show-off-their-powers-for-a-few-pages thing. It’s the classic bit where Johnny pulls a prank on Ben, Ben chases Johnny through the building, only to have Reed and Sue calm them down. Reed says the team is due for a vacation. Because this is Reed we’re talking about, his idea of a vacation is to head out to sea and investigate reports of a giant sea monster. They’ll be investigating while on board a cruise ship, though, so it’s all good. After more horsing around on board the ship, the sea creature makes an appearance, so the FF move to confront it not in one of their cool vehicles, but in a rinky-dink little rowboat.

More sea monsters of various shapes and sizes appear, trapping the FF in a giant bubble made of a membranous substance. (I just successfully spelled “membranous” correctly on my first try!) At the ocean floor, our heroes are confronted by Namor, who is now flanked by a bunch of Atlantean soldiers. By controlling the “swift jet current,” Namor sends all boats in the world back to shore, essentially trapping humanity on the surface. This bubble the FF are trapped in is actually a transparent water rocket, which transports our heroes all the way back to their headquarters. Reed places a call to the United Nations (he gets the number by dialing information first), and arranges an audience.

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Next thing we know, Reed is addressing the U.N., telling them how dangerous Namor is. (There’s a funny bit where the Russian delegate smashes his shoe on the table, shouting “Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!”) The next person to take the stage is a Dr. Falton, who gives us a complete history of Atlantis. Homo Mermanus, he explains, went through a similar evolutionary process as Homo Sapiens, except with the ability to breathe underwater. The evolved, developed civilization, and so on. On one fateful day, a human, Captain McKenzie, encountered an Atlantean, Princess Fen. Romance blossomed, and along came Namor, described as “the first known mutant of our time.” Reed interrupts, saying that Namor must be stopped, and humanity must fight back. That’s when Dr. Falton reveals he’s actually Namor in disguise (shocker)!

Namor declares a full-on invasion on the surface, with Atlantean vessels popping up at New York’s docks, unloading hundreds of Atlantis soldiers onto the streets. They quickly take over, rounding up all the citizens and locking police up in their own cells. They launch an attack on FF headquarters covering the building in rubber cement (isn’t that the snot stuff that kids use in arts n’ crafts?). While Johnny breaks free and fights back, Reed reveals that these attacks are happening all over the world. Reed sends Ben outside to take some hostages, which he does by punching out the first few Atlanteans he sees. Reed figures out that the soldiers cannot breathe on the surface without their helmets.

Reed does his thing in the lab, inventing a device to take out the enemy, but there’s an accident, and, despite his stretchy powers, he’s nearly crushed under the heavy machinery. With him out of it, it’s up to Ben and Sue to operate the machine. They get it working. It evaporates the water inside the Atlantis warriors’ armor, sending them all back into the ocean.

Most issues of Fantastic Four would end right there, but this is an annual, and there’s a whole lot more action on the way. Namor is furious, and he goes straight for Reed. Despite his weakened condition, Reed fights back, and is soon joined by Johnny and Ben. They put up a good fight, but Namor manages to grab Sue and flee back the sea.

Namor keeps Sue hostage aboard Krang’s undersea craft, where Dorma is waiting for him. Both Krang and Dorma can tell Namor cares for Sue, and they don’t like it one bit. Namor leaves Sue with them, and flies off to fight Reed, Johnny and Ben. Our heroes pilot their new amphibious “U-Car” out the middle of the ocean, where Namor attacks them. It’s a long battle, with a lot of back and forth, and a lot of hard punches being thrown. Namor ultimately damages the U-Car, leaving the three heroes there to drown.

Aboard Krang’s ship, Dorma decides she’s had enough of Sue, and tries to drown her. Sue escapes from the ship, but gets tangled up a “clump of kelp,” and is running out of air. Ben and Namor work together to save her, but she’s in bad shape and in need of a hospital. Only Namor can fly her all the way back to the city fast enough. Reed and Ben do a quick repair job on the U-Car and head back to New York. There, they find Namor kept his word. Sue is in the hospital, feeling better.

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In the final scene, Namor returns to Atlantis, finding it deserted. Feeling betrayed, Krang and Dorma have taken over and led the Atlanteans off to a new home, far from Namor. “Am I to be a king without a kingdom – a man without a home?” Namor asks. “A sea creature – yet less than human? Is there never to be a place for me – on the surface or the sea?”

Unstable Molecule: Reed’s genius helps drive back the Atlantis army, and he puts up a good fight physically, too. Even when injured, he managed to coil up like spring, bounce around like a ball, and even land a punch or two right across Namor’s jaw.

Fade Out: Yeah, Sue gets taken hostage again, but it doesn’t seem so bad this time, because the love triangle between her, Reed and Namor has been building since issue #4. She tries to see the good in him, even after all he does in this issue.

Clobberin’ Time: I love how easily Ben mops up the Atlantis goons when Reed asks for a hostage. He gives Namor a real good pounding during the big fight at the end.

Flame On: Johnny gets in on a lot of action, putting up a good fight against Namor. He uses his flame to ignite an undersea volcano as a weapon against Namor. He later somehow uses his flame as a type of radar (???) to locate Krang’s ship.

Trivia Time: This is the first appearance of Lady Dorma, whose on-again off-again with Namor will go on for several years.

At the beginning, Reed says the team has never encountered a giant sea monster. I count at least two they’ve met before, Giganto in issue #4 and the huge octopus in issue #14.

Not only do we learn that the name “Namor” means “Avenging Son,” but this annual also establishes the long-running joke of how Namor’s last name is actually “McKenzie.”

This annual is the first time Atlantis is mentioned by name in relation to Namor. Up until now we’ve all understood it to be Atlantis, but previous issues merely described an undersea kingdom, without stating its name.

Fantastic or Frightful: I know I said before that Namor isn’t my favorite character, and he still isn’t, but this is one of the best Namor stories – if not the best. It’s a big, rip-roarin’ adventure yarn, with a lot of action and surprising twists and turns. Despite all world-spanning crisis with Atlantis soldiers marching on the streets of Manhattan, the real crisis is personal at the end, with the dueling love triangles of Reed-Sue-Namor and Namor-Sue-Dorma. These conflicts build to a head in the final few pages where Namor makes a choice to save Sue, which comes back to haunt him. This is top notch Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four action.

Next week: Don’t be a hater!

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: It’s Alive

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. Today, we’re watching It’s Alive. No, this isn’t the infamous 1974 evil mutant baby movie. This one was made in 1968 and combines two B-movie staples, the giant monster and the evil hillbilly.

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Here’s what happens: A young couple runs out of gas while driving across the country. I guess no one was home down at the Frankenstein place, so they instead end up at this backwoods farmer’s home. He traps them and a visiting paleontologist (!) in an underground cavern beneath his property, where a nasty surprise is waiting.

Speculative spectacle: Said nasty surprise is a giant aquatic dinosaur, lurking in an underground lake. After a long, tense build-up to the reveal, it turns out to be a clunky rubber-suit monster of the schlockiest kind.

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Sleaze factor: The husband character must have been taking “Be a jerk to your wife lessons,” as he constantly berates her for wanting to drive across the country instead of fly.

Quantum quotables: Paleontologist: “Just for one second, try to think like a scientist. Do you realize the value of your discovery for mankind?” Hillbilly: “Mankind? What do I care about mankind?”

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What the felgercarb? Near the end of the movie, there’s a flashback scene where the evil hillbilly chases a woman through the woods. The whole chase is in slow-motion, and it goes on FOREVER.

Microcosmic minutiae: The rubber monster suit used in this movie is the exact same one used in the 1967 horror flick Creature of Destruction, from the same director.

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Worth 10 cents? The monster is worth the dime, but it only appears in two short scenes, so keep your finger on the fast forward button.

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Welcome to Blood City

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. In addition to its awesome title, Welcome to Blood City has famous to semi-famous movie stars in it, such as Jack Palance, Keir Dullea, and Samantha Eggar. What could go wrong?

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Here’s what happens: A group of strangers wakes up in a desert, with no memory except the knowledge that they are all murderers. It appears they’ve been transported back in time to the Old West, to a frontier town called Blood City. Elsewhere, scientists in lab coats are watching these folks’ every move. So it’s kind of like Cabin in the Woods, except it’s completely awful.

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Speculative spectacle: It’s eventually revealed that the killers of Blood City are playing out a game of sorts, as an experiment for their unseen high-tech masters. In Blood City, the only way to advance your social status is to be the best murderer, and kill your way to the top.

Sleaze factor: Nine minutes into the movie, and the only female character gets raped. The act happens off screen, but it sets an unpleasant tone for the rest of the movie.

Quantum quotables: Cowboy: “Let me buy you a drink.” Keir Dullea: “Guess that’s better than a kick in the ass.” (Authentic Western dialogue.)

“Sit down, I don’t like lookin’ up at a man when I’m talkin’ to him.” — Jack Palance, being a tough guy.

What the felgercarb? I don’t know if it’s the DVD or if the filmmaking is just that bad, but all throughout the movie, shots are misframed so tops of the actors’ heads are cut off at the top of the screen.

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Microcosmic minutiae: A lot of folks are praising this movie for being the first to introduce the concept of virtual reality to the world, except that it never actually uses the words “virtual reality.”

Worth 10 cents? It’s a lot less Westworld and a lot more I Spit On Your Grave. Skip it.

***

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Fantastic Friday: Be cool, molecule

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In issue #20, we meet a nerd… with the power of the gods!

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The fun begins in Reed’s lab, where the team is investigating a meteor recently fallen to Earth. Ben breaks the rock apart, only to discover dehydrated living matter inside. Reed says, “This proves some form of life must exist in outer space!” How many aliens have they met by now? There’s the skrulls, Kurrgo, the Impossible Man, the Watcher – who have I left out? (The Ovoids don’t count, because the FF didn’t actually meet them.)

The science lesson is interrupted when a glowing ball of energy shows up outside. The FF fight it, but their powers are mostly useless against it. They’re sucked into the ball, which transports them to another dimension, where they reunite with the Watcher. He gives his usual speech about how he wouldn’t be interfering except that the need is so great. He shows the FF an image of a laboratory tech how has the power to destroy worlds, galaxies, even the entire universe. There’s a lab accident, and this lowly guy ends up with lightning-shaped scars on his face. His boss tries to fire him, but, with a wave of his hand, the man covers his boss with ice. Knowing he can mentally control the shapes of molecules themselves, the guy renames himself the Molecule Man.

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The Watcher returns everyone to Earth, where they discover their headquarters has disappeared. The Molecule Man has relocated their building to the center of Times Square. A fight breaks out. Molecule Man stretches Reed to his breaking point, and uses a shield to protect himself from Johnny’s flames. Ben fights though a number of Molecule Man’s obstacles, only to be forced underground, where Molecule Man makes the sewer pipes come to life and trap him. Johnny rescues Ben.

All this time, Molecule Man has been using a wand to control his powers. Sue tries to snatch the wand while invisible, but Molecule Man is too quick for her, wrapping her in newspapers (!?!) so she can be seen. With no other options, the FF flee the scene, in the hopes of finding a solution. With them gone, Molecule Man really goes nuts with his powers, trapping all of Manhattan in a huge force field.

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The FF hides out at Alicia’s place, where Reed deduces that Molecule Man can only manipulate the molecules of inorganic matter, and not organic. Reed comes up with a plan. Out in the city, Molecule Man sees the team’s “4” signal in the sky and follows it – via a fun-looking slide made from dust particles in the air – to Alicia’s apartment. Inside, Molecule Man spots four sculptures of the Fantastic Four and immediately knows it’s them in disguise, except that his powers don’t work on the sculptures. Realizing that Reed has figured out his weakness, Molecule Man drops his wand. The Watcher’s energy sphere returns and takes Molecule Man away.

The Watcher reappears and explains, “I could not interfere with the battle, but now that you have won, I shall take the Molecule Man away.” If you think you can figure out the Watcher’s logic behind his interference/non-interference thing, you go right ahead and try. The Watcher also miraculously returns the FF’s headquarters to its rightful place, leaving them to discuss what they’d have done with the Molecule Man’s great powers.

Unstable Molecule: Reed is all about the science this time around, figuring out Molecule Man’s weakness.

Fade Out: Sue makes a good attempt at defeating the Molecule Man, but unfortunately it doesn’t work and she ends up having to be rescued.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben’s fight through the sewer is really exciting. Later, there’s some great comedic bits where the Yancy Street Gang helps him and the others get to Alicia’s place in secret.

Flame On: Johnny first rescues Reed from the Molecule Man’s attack, and then rescues Ben from the sewer. He’s also the first one to jump into action when Molecule Man makes his presence known.

Trivia Time: Personality-wise, Molecule Man is sort of a stock villain in his first outing. In future stories, he’ll become much more interesting. He turns his back on using his godlike powers in hopes of living a normal life. The fact that needs a wand to use his powers isn’t something that stays with him.

The Watcher last appeared in issue #13, establishing his home on the moon. His existing in another dimension in this issue can be explained how the inside of his home is beyond human understanding.

Fantastic or Frightful: Another action-heavy issue filled with eye-popping Jack Kirby art. Molecule Man is a great character, but his intro isn’t really him at his best.

 Next week: Atlantis… found!

 Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Escape From Galaxy 3

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. 1981’s Escape from Galaxy 3 is an outer space epic set to disco music. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TURN OFF THE DISCO MUSIC.

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Here’s what happens: In outer space, a peaceful starship is on the run from the sinister dictator Ureklon. A studly, heroic pilot and the sexy princess escape at the last minute. They make their way to a backwards planet populated with primitive humans. Love blossoms for our two heroes on this new world, while Ureklon is still out there, pursuing them.

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Speculative spectacle Tell me if this plot twist sounds familiar: It turns out that the primitive planet is actually future Earth, having reverted back to a caveman-like existence after a nuclear holocaust.

Sleaze factor: The princess runs around in a skintight green bodysuit, with about half of it missing. Later, among the hippy-ish Earthlings, she’s introduced to the whole “free love” thing.

Quantum quotables: Every other line of dialogue has some sort of technobabble, such as “activate the laser barrier” or “throw up a shield of mega-rays” or “prepare the 15th dimension.” Until some hack publishes a tie-in book called The Science of Escape From Galaxy 3, I have no idea what any of this is supposed to mean.

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What the felgercarb? Our villain wears bright red tights with lightning bolts on his legs. Did I mention the disco influence?

Microcosmic minutiae: Several (all?) of the special effects shots are lifted from the 1979 sci-fi trash flick Starcrash. In some parts of the world, Escape From Galaxy 3 was even released as Starcrash II. Except that Starcrash had David Hasselhoff’s epic afro and Caroline Munro in that outfit. (You know the one.) You’re not going to find anything of that caliber here.

 Worth 10 cents? Everybody disco dance!

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Hyper Sapien: People From Another Star

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. Hyper Sapien: People From Another Star, made in 1986, is yet another aliens-running-around-the-woods-outside-a-small-town movie. What makes this one different? The aliens are cute young girls!

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Here’s what happens:  Two alien girls run away from their outer space home and go to Earth, which is where all the action is, apparently. Joining them is their adorable three-eyed pet, Kirbi. The girls meet a local teenage hunk, named Dirt (that’s right, his name is DIRT). Cue the angsty adolescent romance, just as the girls’ alien overlords are looking for them.

Speculative spectacle: The girls are telepathic, and able to see through animals’ eyes — just like Beastmaster! Kirbi, meanwhile, has all kinds of crazy powrs. He can drink gasoline, move incredibly fast, and shoot laser beams out of his three eyes.

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Sleaze factor: To procure some Earth clothes for the girls, Dirt awkwardly steals some bras off of a clothesline. That’s about as edgy as this movie gets.

Quantum quotables: After getting her first look at Earth, one of the girls says, “It’s better than television!”

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What the felgercarb? Not only are Dirt’s grandparents perfectly fine with aliens hanging around, but they seem to know the girls are aliens before anyone tells them. Their involvement leads to a ton of horribly unfunny slapstick shtick with grandpa hanging out with Kirbi.

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Microcosmic minutiae: Yes, that is Talia Shire of the Rocky movies in a small role as a doctor.

Worth 10 cents? The teen love story is actually kind of sweet, but all the E.T. ripoff comedy antics are just painful.

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Fantastic Friday: Walk like an Egyptian

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #19 features freaky time travel craziness and Egyptian wildness.

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The tale begins with Reed, Sue and Johnny tooling around the city in the Fantasticar, looking for Ben. They stop by Alicia’s apartment, but no one’s there. Johnny finds Ben and Alicia walking in the park. Ben is about to light a cigar, but Johnny burns it away for a cheap laugh. At this point, modern-day audiences respond, “Ben smokes?!?”

With Ben back at headquarters, Reed explains what was so important. He says that during a recent museum visit, he noticed something interesting in some ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. It looks ambiguous to me, but Reed deduces that the Egyptians had a radioactive herb that could cure blindness. (That’s awfully specific for a hieroglyphic.) How did the Egyptians have radioactive tech? Reed further deduces that when Dr. Doom abandoned his castle, he must have left his time machine still operational.

At Doom’s empty castle, the time machine is indeed still operational. The four head into the past, leaving Alicia behind with instructions to bring them back in 24 hours. Alicia says she can operate the machine solely by touch. The four end up right at the base of the Sphinx, which looks brand new. A bunch of Egyptians, wearing horned helmets for some reason, attack. Ben says to them, “Who do you think you are, Christian Dior?” The fight is over pretty quick, with the FF using their powers handily against their attackers spears and swords. Just as it looks like they’ve won, suddenly the four lose their powers and pass out.

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They awake in the throne room of our villain du jour, Pharaoh Rama-Tut! Not only does Rama-Tut know who the FF are, but he has sapped their powers with his high-tech diode ray gun. He’s actually from the year 3000. In flashback, he explains that the future is the perfect civilization, an era of peace. This bored him, though, as he longed for days of excitement and adventure in the past. Knowing the superstitions of ancient cultures, he built a time machine in the shape of the Sphinx, and went back to ol’ Egypt to become ruler of all mankind.

Rama-Tut’s ray gun continues to make the FF powerless. He makes Reed, Ben and Johnny his slaves, while deciding to make Sue his queen. (Sigh…) Ben is put to use rowing a giant boat, Reed is a lookout on the city walls, and Johnny is Rama-Tut’s new court jester. The ray gun is also mind control, apparently, as Sue is unable to fight back as she’s dressed in Egyptian finery.

Aboard the boat, the ray gun further affects Ben, transforming him from the Thing back into a human. This somehow also frees him from the mind control. He fights his way off the boat and then does the Ben-Hur thing by riding a chariot through the city back to Rama-Tut’s palace. (Ben was in the Air Force, right? Do they teach chariot racing in the Air Force?)

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While Rama-Tut does the “gloating villain” thing in front of Sue, Ben sneaks in and snags the ray gun. He gives it to Sue after turning back into the Thing, and she uses it to free Johnny. Rama-Tut escapes through a secret passage as his guards attack. More fighting! Reed is freed from the ray’s influence during the battle, and our heroes head straight for the Sphinx.

Inside the Sphinx, the FF fight through a bunch of booby traps and make it to the control room. Rama-Tut escapes in a “satellite pod,” which he says will take him to another dimension, and off to more adventure. He further says he’ll leave the Sphinx behind to forever mystify mankind. (That was thoughtful of him.) Inside the Sphinx, Reed finds the radioactive device that can cure eyesight. It disappears, however, on their trip back to the present, where Reed exposits that the time machine is unable to transport radioactive materials. Everyone’s sad that Alicia is still blind, but Reed says every adventure is a learning experience, and Alicia is thankful they put their lives on the line for her. So, kind of a happy ending, I guess?

Unstable Molecule: How Reed figured out the whole plot from that one hieroglyphic, I’ll never know. His stretching is put to use atop the city’s guard towers.

Fade Out: Sue gets taken captive, so ugh. Wearing her Egyptian gown, she’s not able to turn it invisible, so by this point in the book’s run, she can only turn herself invisible, and not anything else. (Remember, her costume turns invisible too, thanks to those pesky unstable molecules.)

Clobberin’ Time: Ben saves the day and fights off a bunch of bad guys, Spartacus-style, all after temporarily transforming back into a human.

Flame On: Johnny is humiliated as Rama-Tut’s jester. He later gets around a lot of the Sphinx’s booby traps by burning through the walls.

Trivia Time: Rama-Tut drops a hint that an ancestor of his built the time machine. This is a mystery that won’t be resolved for many, many issues to come. Rama-Tut further adventures will introduce Kang the Conqueror into the Marvel Universe, who becomes a major adversary for the Avengers.

There are a lot of callbacks to previous issues in this one. Doom’s time machine was last seen in issue #5, and Reed’s promise to cure Alicia of her blindness was first mentioned in #16.

Fantastic or Frightful: Rama-Tut is an interesting villain. Mind-control aside, is he really that evil? All he wants is exploration and adventure. Similarly, that’s just what he gets in the end, so you could say he wins. The Egyptian setting gives artist Jack Kirby a chance to try something new, and the big fight scenes are a lot of fun. Overall, this one’s a great read.

Next week: A nerd… with the power of the gods!

 Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: The Alien Factor

A while back, I spent a whopping $5 on this 50-movie set, Sci-fi Invasion. That adds up to 10 cents per movie. Time for more aliens-running-around-the-woods action with 1978’s The Alien Factor.

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Here’s what happens: Aliens crash land outside a small town and start wreaking havoc. The mayor wants to start an investigation, but a wealthy land developer stops them, knowing that said investigation could ruin his plans to build an entertainment center. We spend way more time with these humans than with the aliens.

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Speculative spectacle: The movie’s only real saving grace is that each alien is a wildly different type. There’s a huge Bigfoot-like alien, one that looks like a guy covered with mud, a glowing blue alien, and the best, a giant lizard created with stop motion animation.

Sleaze factor: Not much, aside from a little bit of gore.

Quantum quotables: “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be all right if you alerted everyone if a wild animal might be on the loose. Wouldn’t hurt to have people on the lookout.” – A concerned citizen

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What the felgercarb? Hey, how about that band? We get to visit these bunch of rockabilly types for a few songs during the movie. Either the filmmakers were hoping for a hit single to promote the movie or (my guess) they were looking to pad out the runtime.

Microcosmic minutiae: In 1982, Baltimore-based director Don Dohler went to make an unofficial remake of this movie, called Night Beast. He then made the official sequel, Alien Factor 2: Alien Rampage in 2001. There’s a 1990 movie called Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor, which is not related to this one in any way.

Epic Crossover: The Alien Factor was also featured on a Cinematic Titanic release, which was reviewed for DVD Verdict by Judge Erich Asperschlager. Read it here.

Worth 10 cents? Not even a penny.

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