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Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #9 is one of the most famous in the series’ history, because of how silly it is.

The splash page features Namor, all alone in his undersea lair, watching the news on TV (why not?), where he learns that the Fantastic Four are broke. It’s at this point that the reader says, “Did I miss an issue?” No, that’s just how this one begins.

From there, we go to FF headquarters, which is filled with bill collectors demanding the thousands of dollars the FF owes. More of them show up in the building’s hanger, threatening to dismantle the FF’s pogo plane, and Reed admits he’s had to sell it, along with all of his other inventions. He says he spent all the team’s savings on the stock market, only to have the market crash. Prescience!

Ben visits Alicia, who has sculpted a white knight puppet for him, saying he’s her white knight. This calms him down, and he rejoins his teammates, where Reed says a big-time Hollywood studio has offered the team starring roles in a movie, ending their money woes by paying $1 million cash (cue Dr. Evil reference here). The only problem is getting from New York to L.A., leading to the famous panel of our heroes on the side of the road, hitchhiking.

Sadly, we never get to see what poor soul gives them a drive, because by the next page, the FF are at the studio. A bunch of background characters are clearly based on famous celebrities of the time, but I’m afraid I don’t recognize all of them. I spotted Hitchcock’s iconic profile, as well as Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, but who’s this “Jack” character that chats with the Thing? Jack Benny? Jack Kirby? The FF are taken to the producer’s gigantic office, only to learn the studio head is… Namor, the Sub-Mariner! Plot twist!

Namor explains that he used treasures taken from the bottom of the sea to purchase the entire studio, and the he plans to make a movie starring his “former” foes. Reed buys a new suit, and Johnny buys a fancy sports car. I guess going broke a few pages earlier didn’t teach them any lessons about money management. Ben roughs up some bullies at the beach, and Namor once again goes after Sue, treating her to a romantic dinner. She’s not falling for it, though, and questions his motives. He says all we be made clear soon.

On the first day of filming, Namor, who is apparently also directing, is out on a boat with Reed. He tells Reed to go to a nearby island and fight a Cyclops robot, while the crew films from the boat. Reed goes along with this, not knowing that Namor set him up, and that it’s a real Cyclops, who kills any humans who come near his island. I love that this sort of stuff just randomly exists in the Marvel Universe. Reed defeats the Cyclops, but Namor believes Reed is dead. Moving on, Namor tries a similar trick on Johnny, trapping him on an island where the bloodthirsty, non-politically correct natives use a magic potion to make themselves fireproof (!). Johnny escapes from them and uses his flame to make a nearby volcano erupt. The natives escape, but the lava flow destroys their magic potion, or so Johnny says (how does he know that)?

Elsewhere, on another beach, Namor drops all pretense of making a movie and just starts beating on Ben. Ben fights back, and they go at it for a few panels. A bolt of lightning comes out of nowhere (I swear I’m not kidding) and turns Ben back into a human for a few seconds, allowing Namor to get the drop on him.

Thinking he’s won, Namor returns to Sue and proposes. I guess he thinks she’ll be so impressed that he just killed the three most important people in her life that she’ll fall right into his arms. She doesn’t, and instead turns invisible and tries to make her escape. She almost gets away, but Namor, who we’re told can mimic the abilities of any sealife, uses the “radar vision” of “cave fish” to see Sue. The other three burst in and are about to fight Namor, but Sue stops them with the “we had a contract” excuse. They were in his movie, so now he has to pay them. I guess the contract didn’t have a “Yeah, but he tried to kill us” clause.

Namor pays up and returns to the sea, leaving his new lucrative Hollywood life behind. What’s better, the movie is released and is a huge hit, with the FF raking the cash and returning to their high-class lifestyle. That was convenient.

Unstable Molecule: Reed busts out a lot of cool moves during the random Cyclops fight, such as turning his body into a giant slingshot and then a giant tripwire.

Fade Out: Despite having nowhere near the power levels of Namor, Sue puts up a good fight, and almost makes her escape. She also saves the day, not through violence but through contract negotiation.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben was well on his way to defeating Namor in hand-to-hand combat until he gets Deus Ex Machina-ed by a bolt of lightning.

Flame On: Johnny’s fight against the random fireproof natives has him using his wits, such as creating fire duplicates of himself to confuse them.

Trivia Time: This would not be Namor’s last time as an executive. The Namor mini-series of the 80s also recast him as a corporate executive.

The Marvel Wiki refers to the Cyclops of this issue as “The Mythical Cyclops” to avoid confusing it with the X-Men character of the same name. To date, this is the first and last appearance of the Mythical Cyclops.

Fantastic or Frightful: There’s a panel early on where Reed is looking at a bunch of comics, grousing about how comic book characters never need to worry about paying their bills. Little moments like these are part of why we love all Stan Lee’s writing, his ability to make everyday life part of outrageous superhero adventure. This issue is famous for being silly, and rightfully so, but it’s also hugely entertaining.

Next week: Let’s everybody mind-swap!

Like to read? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue eight introduces one of the most important supporting characters in the comic’s history.

The story begins at FF headquarters, where Mr. Fantastic is not letting Ben inside the lab. Ben thinks this is because the other three think he’s beneath them. A fight breaks out, with Johnny and Reed trying to keep Ben out of the lab. Ben leaves, and Sue follows invisibly. Outside, a couple of guys make fun of Ben, only to have Sue and Ben knock them around a little. Then Sue spots a guy climbing a bridge about to jump. He’s apparently in some sort of trance. Sue signals the rest of the team, and Johnny saves the guy.

Elsewhere in the city, we meet the Puppet Master, who was controlling the would-be suicide via a tiny puppet (and a tiny version of the bridge, for completeness’ sake). We also meet Puppet Master’s blind stepdaughter, Alicia. Because she’s blind, she doesn’t know stepdad is playing with creepy dolls. The Puppet Master shoos her away, and we learn he creates his mind-controlling puppets out of “radioactive clay.” Why hasn’t this been a Mythbusters episode yet?

Puppet Master (Screw it, from now on I’m calling him P.M.) creates a puppet of Ben, and Ben feels compelled to go to P.M.’s apartment. Sue follows, but Alicia can tell that someone else in the room. She can sense Sue’s presence, but not radioactive puppets? P.M. gives himself, Sue and Ben gas masks, and then fills the room with gas, knocking Sue out and turns her visible. Alicia is fascinated with Ben, touching his face. She can sense his strength, but she also believes there is a deeper level of sensitivity within him.

P.M. then disguises Alicia as Sue, complete with a spare FF uniform and a blonde wig. (Where’d he get that?) Under P.M.’s control, Ben and Alicia sneak into FF headquarters. Another fight breaks out, and Ben finally sees what’s in the lab. Reed has developed a new chemical that can turn Ben back into a human. This undoes P.M.’s mind control. Alicia is afraid, but Ben calms her down. The chemical wears off, and he becomes the Thing again, learning that Alicia actually likes him more when he’s the monster.

Sue tries to escape from P.M.’s clutches. He stops her, but she manages to signal the group. The other three arrive, but P.M. is ready for them, siccing a giant robot puppet on them and then escaping on a winged horse puppet, which he says is his greatest creation. (How big is this apartment of his, anyway?) The pursuit is cut short when the team learns P.M. used his puppets to engineer a jailbreak. They take care of the escaping prisoners in several pages of awesome Jack Kirby action.

Alicia as back at her apartment, sad now that she knows her stepdad is evil. P.M. returns, saying he still hasn’t used his greatest puppet. (Wait… he just said the flying horse was his greatest puppet. Poor horsie.) It’s a “king” version of himself, which he plans to use to conquer all the world’s governments and make humanity his slaves. So why didn’t he just start with this puppet? Alicia tries to grab it from him. She falls, and he drops the puppet. As he reaches for it, he trips and falls out the nearest window. It’s then that the FF show up. Ben comforts Alicia, while Reed and Sue wonder what really made the P.M. fall. “I wonder if we’ll ever really know,” Reed says.

Unstable Molecule: Impressively, each character has a moment to shine, and none of them are depicted as incompetent. You hear that, Tim Story? None of the heroes are depicted as incompetent. During the jailbreak, Reed does that thing where bullets go into him, he stretches, and then shoots them back at the bad guys.

Fade Out: Sue literally kicks one of Ben’s hecklers in the butt. She doesn’t escape from P.M., but in her escape attempt she signals the rest of the team.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben comes off as an angry thug early on, but Alicia’s assessment of his great depth of character comes true when he comforts her at the end. He also takes out a whole bunch of the escaping prisoners, tearing apart prison walls and turning them into makeshift cages.

Flame On: While fighting Ben, Johnny debuts a new move, his “Roman candle punch.” You can bet I’ll be looking to see if that ever gets used again.

Trivia Time: Obviously, it’s our first appearance of Alicia, who’s going practically going to be a member of the family from here on out. The fact that she can pass as Sue is never mentioned after this.

The Puppet Master stays on as a major villain throughout the series run, if for no other reason than because he and Alicia are family. What, exactly, is the deal with his look? Between the arched eyebrows and the oversized lips, it seems like someone should be offended by his visage, but I don’t know who. (Actually, his origin was revealed in an early issue of Marvel Team-up. Too bad for you that this is a Fantastic Four re-read.)

Fantastic or Frightful: This is a great comic. It has a lot of action, suspense, and emotion. Each one of the four gets a moment of cool, and yet the finale comes down to Alicia versus her evil stepdad, which made for an unexpected twist. Great stuff all around.

Next week: Are you prepared for one of the goofiest, silliest stories in Fantastic Four history? Are you?

Like to read? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Last issue took our heroes into space, and now, in issue seven, it’s back into space again.

The issue starts with our introduction to the villain of the week/month, Kurrgo, the master of Planet X. He’s got this huge, bulbous head and a tiny body. He sort of looks like he could be a Dick Tracy villain, if Dick Tracy villains wore disco pants.

He gives a big speech to no one about how the planet is far more advanced than Earth, but all of its tech can’t save it from the asteroid about to destroy it. Because the people of Planet X (X-ians?) choose not to visit other planets, there are only two spaceships and no time to build any more. Kurrgo decides to send his pet android to Earth and recruit the Fantastic Four. Although he trash-talks about Earthlings, he says they’re the only ones who can help.

From there, we get the customary several pages of the FF showing off their powers. They’ve been invited to a gala banquet in WashingtonD.C., and everyone’s apprehensive about it. Ben thinks everyone will react in fear upon seeing his monstrousness, Sue fears she’ll get embarrassed and turn invisible, and Johnny is concerned he’ll lose control of his fire powers while telling a joke about beatniks (no, really). Some of Ben and Johnny’s horsing around caused the building to fill up with steam, so Reed has to stretch into the air conditioning and fix everything.

Once all that’s taken care of, it’s off D.C., where things start out just fine. But then Kurrgo’s android arrives, and bombards the entire planet with a “hostility ray.” This makes everyone at the banquet hate each other (politicians hating each other? I’m shocked!) and it especially turns everyone against the FF. They escape the mob without hurting anyone, and then are chased by the android until he delivers Kurrgo’s message. He says he’ll turn off the ray if the FF help save Planet X. If they don’t, they’ll spend the rest of their lives being hated by everyone on Earth. No one asks why Kurrgo does all this instead of just asking politely.

So it’s off to Planet X. Ben says he doesn’t trust Kurrgo. Reed agrees, but then says he went along anyway because visiting another planet is too exciting an opportunity to pass up. Again, why didn’t Kurrgo just ask politely? The FF would have gone anyway! Our heroes finally meet Kurrgo (Ben calls him a “puny-lookin’ shrimp”), who tells the FF that Planet X only has 24 hours left, and if they don’t save the planet, they die along with it. The four try to escape, but the android easily defeats all four of them. Reed says there no choice but to try to save the planet.

In Planet X’s “most modern lab,” Reed comes up with a plan. He invents a “reducing gas” which will shrink all the people of Planet X (X-ites?) to tiny size, allowing them all to fit in one spaceship. Upon arriving on a new homeworld, the gas will reverse and everyone will be fine. (No one asks how Reed is going to do all this in 24 hours. Maybe the days are longer on Planet X.) Kurrgo comes up with an alternate plan. He’ll keep all the gas for himself, and turn into a giant on the new world, ruling over all the people of Planet X (X… men?).  So that’s why Kurrgo didn’t just ask politely: He’s a total dick! Fortunately, Reed pulled a fast one on him. Kurrgo has an empty canister. The rest of the aliens will remain tiny on their home, which won’t matter, as long as they’re all the same size. As for Kurrgo, he’s stuck behind as Planet X is destroyed. The FF just leaves him there? Cold, man.

The FF takes the second Planet X ship back to Earth, never once asking whether the “hostility ray” from earlier was ever turned off.

Unstable Molecule: Reed’s stretching into the air conditioning vents is nice and freaky, especially the one panel of his head flat like a piece of paper. Plus, his brains save the day again.

Fade Out: Poor sue doesn’t do much. Her plan to distract the android is cut short during the fight, so we never get to see if it would have worked.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben isn’t strong enough to stop the android, and he tosses a few boulders around as Planet X falls apart. His biggest contribution is being right not to trust Kurrgo.

Flame On: Johnny also fails to defeat the android. (Can nothing stop it?) His only role in this issue is comic relief, really. I wish we could’ve heard his beatnik joke.

Trivia Time: Kurrgo obviously never became a headlining character. It’s not likely he’ll show up in a blockbuster film adaptation, but he was prominent enough to be a villain of the week in the 1967 Hanna-Barbera Fantastic Four TV cartoon.

Am unrelated character named “Kurrgo” shows up in the Star Trek tie-in novel The Art of the Impossible. This Kurrgo is a Klingon restaurant owner living on Cardassian Prime. Hey fan fiction writers, let’s get these two guys together!

Fantastic or Frightful: It’s another goofy, borderline-nonsense issue, but there are a few cool bits. Jack Kirby’s far-out depiction of Planet X is all crazy Kirby style, and the twist at the end is amusing, if dark. Not a “classic” issue, but a fun one.

Next week: Introducing Alicia.

Like to read? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Before there were crossovers, there were team-ups. Issue number six brings us the first villain team-up in the FF’s history, with the baddies we just met in the previous two issues

Once again, the first couple of pages are an excuse for the four heroes to show off their powers. The Human Torch and the Invisible Girl are hurrying to get to the team’s skyscraper headquarters. (Still not called the BaxterBuilding – it’s just “headquarters.”) Sue uses the electric doo-hickey on her belt to call for the FF’s private elevator, as we get another of Jack Kirby’s cutaway drawings of the skyscraper. This one features, among other things, a “long range passenger missile, able to reach any place on Earth in minutes.”

Why were Sue and Johnny in such a hurry to get back to base? Reed’s called them there to – get this – answer all their fan mail. Reed stretches across the street to an adjoining skyscraper to say hi to a young fan, while Ben bends some steel as his response to a jokey letter from the Yancy Street Gang.

Meanwhile, out at sea, the Namor the Submariner is playfully swimming with some dolphins (he doesn’t seem too heartbroken about the whole “losing my kingdom” thing), when he’s approached by Doctor Doom, flying an “aerosub,” a combo of an airplane and a submarine. Doom catches Subby’s attention, and they retire to the bottom of the sea to talk. Doom gives a big speech about how the surface world’s nuclear testing is what destroyed Atlantis. Doom calls for revenge, and Subby buys it, despite a photo of Sue on display in his home (where’d he get that?). Doom then introduces his new invention, a magnetic “grabber,” which can lift thousands of times its own weight.

There’s a bit of business with Namor flying around and walking down a New York street before we go back to FF headquarters where Johnny discovers Sue has a photo of Namor hidden away (where’d she get that?). On cue, Namor shows up, saying he got inside through an open window. So much for all that high tech security. Despite Ben and Johnny’s protestations, Namor says he’s only there to talk. He says he’s “on a holiday” and just wants to take Sue on a date. Before we can process that, Doom’s “grabber” grabs the entire building and lifts it up into the sky.

Aboard his plane, Doom tows the skyscraper into space. Thanks to some fishbowl helmets, the FF and Namor are able to breathe in space. The next few pages are all about the characters trying to get out of the building and attempting to reach Doom’s plane. Johnny’s flame snuffs out in the vacuum of space and Reed can’t stretch that far. Doom threatens to toss the building into the sun, but Namor won’t have it. (If Doom’s plan is to suck the FF’s headquarters into space, what does he need Namor for? A distraction?)

With an epic three-panel leap through space, Namor shouts, “Go! Go! Go!” and he reaches Doom’s ship. Doom tries to electrify Namor, but Namor absorbs and returns the charge (“like an electric eel,” he says), blasting Doom into space. Doom grabs hold of a passing meteor and escapes. Namor uses Doom’s ship to return the skyscraper back where it belongs. We’re told that New Yorkers who see this believe it is, “a hallucination resulting from the anxieties that plague our nuclear society.”

Namor buries the grabber and Doom’s plane at the bottom of the ocean, and… that’s that for this issue.

Unstable Molecule: Reed can stretch across buildings in New   York, but not from headquarters to Doom’s plane. Because… space?

Fade out: While everyone else wants to deck Namor, Sue pleads for them to give him a second chance. She totally wants him.

Clobberin’ Time: Every time Ben starts to fight Namor, someone, usually Reed, stops him. Then, he does nothing during the space adventure.

Flame on: First, Johnny burns a hole in the floor beneath Namor, forgetting he can fly. Then he forgets that flame doesn’t work in the vacuum of space. When he did get so forgetful?

Trivia time: Doom would later headline his own series, simply called Super-Villain Team-up. You can see the precedent for that series starting in this issue.

I believe this is our first reference to the Yancy Street Gang, the rarely seen but often mentioned hoodlums from Ben’s old neighborhood who delight in pulling pranks on him.

Fantastic or Frightful: Villain team-ups are often criticized, in that they tend to dilute the characterization of each one. In this issue, it’s the FF heroes who are diluted, turned into bit players as Doom and Namor duke it out. The four heroes are ineffectual, failing at everything they try. Tim Story must love this issue!

On the plus side, Jack Kirby’s art is exceptional in this one. There’s a stellar bird’s eye view drawing of the skyscraper being lifted into space, looking down on Manhattan. It takes your breath away. The undersea scenes also give Kirby a chance to shine, with all kinds of crazy creatures and designs.

The issue sets itself up for being something huge and epic, but it doesn’t quite get there.

Next week: More outer space fun, with a guy who looks like he could be a Dick Tracy villain.

Like to read? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. We’re up to issue #5, the debut of the book’s biggest, baddest bad guy.

The first page illustrates (heh) everything we need to know about Dr. Doom, and what makes him such a memorable villain. There he is with his metal mask and green robes, surrounded by books about demons and sorcery, and with a vulture perched in the background. He looks like he might be some kind of Dungeons and Dragons-type wizard, but then he hops into a slick-looking helicopter and takes off for action. This speaks to the duality of the character. He lives in an ancient stone castle, but one filled with technological wonders. His cloak and metal mask hides high tech body armor. As we’ll come to see, he’s “old world” and “futuristic” all at once.

The story proper begins with the requisite two pages of the characters showing off their powers, this time as Johnny and Ben fight after Johnny shows Ben an Incredible Hulk comic (cross-promotion!) and compares Ben to ol’ Greenskin. This is interrupted by Doom, whose helicopter appears over their skyscraper headquarters (Not the Baxter Building. It’s still referred to only as “headquarters”), dropping a huge net over the whole building. It’s super-strong and electrified, so the four can’t escape. Doom demands that they surrender themselves to him.

Reed reveals that he knows Doom, and that they went to college together. In a mere five panels, we get Doom’s origin. He was a brilliant science student who was also fascinated with the mystic arts. He built a device to try to contact the “nether world.” The experiment goes badly, exploding and ruining Doom’s face. He’s expelled from school, and was last seen exploring the Himalayas, in search of more secrets of black magic. What’s interesting about this origin is how much of it isn’t here. There’s no mention of his rivalry with Reed, the real reason he wants to contact the nether world, or the fictional country of Latveria. Those gaps will be filled in future comics.

Sue surrenders to Doom. He takes her captive and then whisks the entire team to his castle stronghold. There, he spells out what he wants from them. He’s created a time machine and wants Reed, Ben, and Johnny to go back in time and steal the legendary treasure of Blackbeard the pirate. (No one asks why Doom can’t just do this himself.) The treasure, Doom says, has great magic powers. After debating this among his pals, Reed finally agrees to Doom’s terms. The time machine is delightfully simple, a plain yellow square our heroes stand on. It rises up over them, and, just like that, they’re back in pirate times.

First things first: Ben scares some pirates, who run off leaving a bag of clothes behind, making convenient costumes for the three, including an eyepatch and fake beard for Ben. (Why did the pirates have a fake beard in their bag?) A few scallywags knock out the three with some spiked blog, and they wake up in a ship’s hold, forced to serve as crew on a pirate ship. That won’t fly, and a fight breaks out. FF versus pirates, oh yeah! Our heroes clean up, only to have their ship attacked by a rival pirate crew. Ben of all people leads the charge and captures the other ship. There, they find Blackbeard’s treasure, only to realize that Ben is the Blackbeard history remembers! The word “paradox” is of never used.

Reed knows that Doom can’t get his hands on the treasure, so he dumps the jewls and gold, replacing them with heavy chains. Ben has other ideas, though. He wants to stay, and live the life of a pirate, going so far as to order his new crew to take Reed and Johnny captive. Oddly, a whirlwind comes out of nowhere, sinking the ship and spreading the treasure all over the bottom of the ocean. After washing up on shore, Ben apologizes to Reed for getting carried away, saying, “I lost my dumb head for a while.”

Doom presses a button, and the time machine returns everyone to the present. After discovering the chains, a fight breaks out, and Ben smashes Doom, only to discover it’s a robot duplicate (better known as a Doombot) in disguise. The real Dr. Doom is in another room, and cuts off the oxygen. He’s conveniently forgotten about Sue, who, invisible, throws a switch that causes Doom’s oxygen-sucking machine to explode. Hey, Doom, perhaps you should rethink inventing machines that so easily explode.

Escaping the castle is quite a production. First, Reed and Ben work together to take out a wall, and then Johnny uses his flame to create a path through the moat. Doom escapes, of course, thanks to a flying jetpack. Don’t worry — he’ll be back next issue.

Unstable Molecule: Reed gets into the action during the pirate battles by stretching up a ship’s crow’s nest and then stretching from one ship to another. His powers come in handy again at the end, where he and Ben work together to escape from Doom’s castle.

Fade Out: Sue saves the day, after Doom underestimates her. She frees her three teammates while invisible, with both hands tied behind her back no less.

Clobberin’ Time: The whole issue is a showcase for Ben. He becomes a pirate king back in the old days, which drives him a little power-mad. He then regrets his actions, and pleads forgiveness from his friends. Look at that, genuine character development.

Flame On: Johnny also has some fun fighting the pirates, melting swords and stirring up steam around the enemy ships.

Trivia Time: It’s the first appearance of Dr. Doom, but not of Dr. Doom’s cape. Instead, he’s hearing this wimpy little half-cape thing that just barely covers his shoulders. This look won’t last beyond this issue, except for the occasional flashback, when he gets his cloak next issue. Still, he makes an impression, with his distinctive look, pompous demeanor, and overall menace. Artist Jack Kirby allegedly modeled Doom after the classic image of the Grim Reaper, except with a metal mask in place of a skull. How cool is that?

Doom’s time machine has a long history in Marvel Comics, as it’ll later be established that he built a bunch of these and hid them in various spots around the world. They travel not just through time but into alternate dimensions as well. Every couple of years, one costumed adventurer or another stumbles across yet another of Doom’s time machines. It’s kind of a Marvel tradition at this point.

This issue is also the first appearance of a Doombot, robot duplicates of himself Doom uses to get him out of trouble. They’ve provided an “easy out” for a lot of FF writers over the years, with a countless list of “It was a really a Doombot” scenes across the decades.

Blackbeard, of course, was a real person, Captain Edward Teach, whose fame as a pirate spread throughout the early 1700s. That hasn’t stopped various writers from putting all kinds of crazy spins on his life, though. Ben’s short-lived stint as Blackbeard has got to be up there with the weirdest. Even this would be revisited in a recent issue of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, shortly after Spidey joined the FF (long story).

Fantastic or Frightful: Pulp adventure goodness! Jack Kirby clearly had fun in this issue with all the pirate battles. Stan’s over-the-top dialogue works wonders with Dr. Doom. Sure, there are plot holes galore and more than one deus ex machine (where’d that whirlwind at sea come from?) but it doesn’t diminish the pure fun on display here.

Next week: Super-villain team-up… in space!

Like to read? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue number four is one of the most famous comics of all time, bringing back the Sub-Mariner, a classic villain from the 1940s, and making him a major player in the Marvel universe.

The story begins in “a secret skyscraper hideout in the caverns of New York.” Isn’t “caverns of New York” some kind of oxymoron? Ben, Sue and Reed fret over where Johnny might have gone after quitting the team at the end of the last issue. Using the individual sections of the Fantasticar, they search the city for Johnny. This is this issue’s excuse for the “the characters show off their powers for several pages at the beginning of the story” thing. Reed questions a motorcyclist, checks out a baseball game, and peeks into a passing train. Doesn’t he have high-tech scanning equipment he could be using? Sue stops searching and takes a break, enjoying a soda. Not much urgency here. Ben smartly goes to a garage where Johnny likes to hang out. He and Johnny have a brief fight, but Johnny escapes after Ben has another “turns human for a few seconds only to turn right back” moment.

Johnny takes up residence in a crappy men’s shelter in the Bowery, where he chuckles over an old 1940s comic book about the Sub-Mariner, and Johnny remarks that there really was a Sub-Mariner, before his time. One of the bums there has a resemblance to the character, and then shows superhuman strength after a brawl breaks out. Johnny carefully uses his flame to burn off the man’s beard and, sure enough, it’s the Sub-Mariner. Amazing coincidence, right? Perhaps not, as Stan Lee writes in this issue, “Thus does destiny toy with the lives of humans.”

Johnny makes the questionable decision of returning the Sub-Mariner to the ocean. Being undersea again causes Subby’s memory to come back. We learn that his real name is Namor. He swims down to Atlantis, only to find it destroyed by the surface world’s nuclear testing and its people long since fled. Namor returns to Johnny and announces his intent to unleash revenge on the human race. Johnny signals his teammates, and, just like that, they’re a team again.

Namor returns to the ocean, recovers a magic horn, and uses to summon Giganto, a massive whale-like monster. We get a couple of pages of Godzilla-style action as Giganto rises from the ocean and trashes part of the city. Ben comes up with a plan. Get this: In the space of two panels, Ben hurries over the nearest military depot, and returns with a nuclear bomb strapped to his back. A soldier is seen helping Ben with the huge bomb, so Ben didn’t steal it. What, does the army just hand out nukes to any superhero who knocks on its door? No matter how it’s possible, Ben now has a nuke. When Giganto stops for a rest, Ben walks right into its mouth, so small from the monster’s point of view that the monster doesn’t notice him. The Thing has a Baron Munchausen moment where he finds a bunch of shipwrecks in Giganto’s belly, as well a whole other sea monster running around in there. Ben fights it, which has got to be a strange experience – fighting a sea monster inside another sea monster. The nuke goes off, brutally killing Giganto as Ben barely escapes. Insert comments about ridiculous nuclear physics here.

Sue swipes the horn from Namor, but he catches her. He immediately gets the hots for Sue, calling her the loveliest human he’s ever seen. She tries to appeal to his better nature, but Namor, in his arrogance, refuses and says he will summon so many sea monsters that the surface world will fall back into a second stone age. Johnny has heard enough, so he flies upward so hard and fast that he creates a “man-made tornado” which sweeps both Namor and the dead monster back into the ocean. Why didn’t he just do that to start with? Namor swears vengeance, and Reed swears that the FF will be ready for him when he returns. We’ll see how ready in a mere two issues.

From here on, Namor becomes one of the biggest names in the Marvel universe, battling most of the classic marvel heroes. He’s been both a bad guy and a good guy, joining the Defenders, and, most recently, the X-Men. He’s been an exile from Atlantis, a leader of Atlantis, and even spent some time a corporate CEO. Despite his importance, Namor has never been a favorite character of mine, as I always felt the combo of swim trunks, pointy ears, and those little wings on his ankles made him look more goofy than intimidating, but there’s no denying his place in comics history. We’re going to be seeing a lot of Namor during this re-read, so better get used to him.

Unstable Molecule: Reed does hardly anything in this issue, aside from pestering motorcyclists and commuters while searching for Johnny.

Fade Out: Sue steals the magic trumpet horn from Namor, but it’s only after she turns visible that she gets him talking.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben, walking into a giant monster’s mouth with a nuclear bomb strapped to his back? Hardcore.

Flame On: Johnny makes the questionable choice of returning Namor to the ocean, considering that doing so endangers mankind, but at the end he saves the day by tossing Namor back into the ocean a second time. His reunion with the team is something of a non-event, considering how dramatic the breakup was at the end of the last issue.

Trivia Time: Namor really does have a long pre-history at Marvel going back to the ‘40s, where he was as an enemy to the 1940s Human Torch, an android. This makes it fitting that so much of the issue is based on interaction between Namor and the FF’s Torch.

Fantastic or Frightful: This is the issue where things really start to gel. There are plot holes, sure, but it has that high adventure, anything goes feeling of the best FF tales. Kirby’s artwork really shines, especially with all the undersea monster action. It gets even better next issue.

Next week: Doom!

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