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Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. This week it’s issue #342, which is forgettable, and #343, which has a notorious reputation.

After a one-page intro, issue #342 is a flashback story, taking place a short while ago, when the team was Ben, Johnny, Sharon, and Crystal. Johnny befriends Rusty Collins of X-Factor, who has similar fire powers. They reach out to a group of troubled teens and some guys in high-tech battle armor. Spider-Man has a funny cameo where, between paychecks, he shows up raid the fridge at FF headquarters, promising to pay them back later. I guess it’s not a bad comic, but it’s obviously a deadline-mandated fill-in issue, and nothing more.

Then we get to issue #343, and take a look at this cover:

It’s the Fantastic Four with guns! Huge, gigantic guns! These were the days of Jim Lee on X-Men, Todd McFarlane on Spider-Man, and internet punching bag Rob Liefeld on X-Factor, and so on. Comics had this reputation of being super-EXTREME, and many have accused this and subsequent issues of Fantastic Four as being an attempt to similarly be super-EXTREME. But is that what’s really going on in these issues? Let’s find out.

At the end of the previous story arc, the FF returned home from time traveling thinking all was well, not knowing they are in an alternate timeline where U.S. President Dan Quayle and Soviet Premiere Josef Stalin are on the brink of nuclear war. This issue begins with them still not knowing, making jokes about doing the laundry after a trip away, while Reed puts Johnny through some tests to make sure he’s okay after having his mind taken over by Nebula. Sharon is the only one who suspects something is up, thinking that her memory is playing tricks on her.

Sue calls the Power family (of Power Pack fame), who were babysitting Franklin, only to learn the Powers do not live or work in New York. Ben picks up a newspaper to check the sports scores only to learn about Quayle and Stalin. Our heroes compare notes and finally realize they’re in an alternate timeline. To further illustrate that point, Alicia shows up, revealing that she and Ben are married in this timeline. Alicia freaks out upon learning that this isn’t her FF, and she wonders where hers are.

While all this has been going on, we’re following Moscow and the White House at odds, each one gathering troops and wondering which will (or should) strike first. Air raid sirens go off in New York, announcing that a nuclear strike is inevitable. Alicia says her timeline’s Reed was at work on a plan to stop the war, so “our” Reed gets to work on the same plan. The team then boards the FF’s pogo plane and flies off toward the German border, where the Russian troops have gathered.

The next four pages of the comic become a mini Tom Clancy novel, with the U.S. Armed Forces doing cool U.S. Armed Forces stuff as they prepare for battle. Still in the plane, the FF pulls out those huge guns from the cover, as Reed says they’ll stop World War III… or die trying.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: The alt-timeline’s pogo plan has stealth capability and more powerful rockets, which Reed says he’d like to add to his own plane once the team gets back home.

Fade out: Is it sexist to have Sue complaining about doing the team’s laundry? Yeah, it is. We all enjoy when our heroes do “ordinary family” stuff to balance the “cosmic adventure” stuff, but this is a bit much.

Clobberin’ time: Ben is on a first-name basis with a news vendor named Pops. The Marvel Wiki has multiple entries for guys named Pops. This one is most likely Pops Jenkins, the former reporter who was friends with Patsy Walker from her romance comic days in Patsy and Hedy #96. Alternatively, maybe he’s Pops Arkham, Karen Page’s childhood friend from Daredevil #56. (Both look just the same.)

Flame on: Johnny wants Reed to hurry up with the tests, so he can watch Twin Peaks. I wonder if 2017 Johnny is pro-Dougie or anti-Dougie.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Alt-timeline Alicia initially mistakes Sharon for Ben, which is either a wacky joke or some impressive forward-thinking gender fluidity.

The Alicia problem: Is Alicia secretly Lyja the Srkull in this timeline? There’s no way to know, but she’s certainly quick to assume that the FF are imposters when she discovers Ben is human.

Commercial break: This issue features a two-page comic-within-the-comic to promote the Turbo GrafX video game Bonk’s Adventure, a wacky cartoon with no actual images from the game itself:

Trivia time: The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe designates this alternate timeline as Earth-9061, for those who care about such things.

Fantastic or frightful? So far, this story is your basic alternate universe sci-fi action, and not really the ‘90s Image Comics-style extremism as is its reputation. It’s mostly set-up for things to come, though, so we’ll see.

Next week: Super-Stalin!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #341 continues and almost concludes the FF’s latest journey through time and space with the fate of all existence on the line.

The FF, Thor, and Iron Man have traveled into the distant future, where Galactus is using an astronomically huge device to devour not just planets but the entire universe. Also, Reed believes Sue and Johnny are dead, when Johnny has secretly become possessed by mysterious blue-skinned woman and has abducted Sue. As this issue starts, Reed says the heroes must find the Ultimate Nullifier, the weapon that stopped Galactus way back in issues #49-51. Then Reed gets a message from Sue, still alive, pleading for him to return to Earth. Thor uses his newfound teleportation ability to go back to Earth, where Sue has fought Johnny, knocked him out, and has him trapped in a force field.

The heroes secure Johnny to the time sled, and head back into space. Thor teleports everyone to Galactus’ ship. (This is a new ship because one, his original ship was destroyed in the first Secret War and two, we’re still in the distant future, remember.) Inside, the heroes fight their way through what appears to be security weapons, but is actually just the ship’s housecleaning machines.

The heroes find Galactus’ weapons vault, another mind-bogglingly huge space containing weapons from all over the universe. (Why does the godlike Galactus even need a weapons vault? We’ve never seen him take trophies from planets he’s destroyed.) Ben tries a light switch, only to find it broken. From this, Reed deduces that the Ultimate Nullifier would be hidden in plain sight, and it is behind the broken light switch. (Why is there a human-sized light switch in an alien space fortress? Why does a room bigger than a planet operate its lighting on a single switch? I’m really over-thinking all this, aren’t I?)

Sue snatches the Nullifier out of Reed’s hands, revealing that she is now the one possessed by the blue-skinned woman, having switched places with Johnny. Finally we get the reveal that this is space criminal Nebula, who, along with fellow villain Dr. Druid, concocted this plan to follow the FF into the future and secure the power of the Ultimate Nullifier for themselves. Nebula tries to nullify the heroes. Reed, however, saw this coming, and he and Iron Man rigged the Nullifier to backfire. Backfire it does, separating the disembodied Nebula from Sue.

The team travels back to Galactus, where they get his attention by attacking his mouth (!) with the combined power of Thor’s hammer, Johnny’s nova flame, and Iron Man’s repulsors set to max. Galactus reaches to grab the heroes, only for Reed to throw the Nullifier into Galactus’ hand. Then the Nullifier does what it was designed to do, and nullifies Galactus. This is depicted by a plain white space representing pure nothingness, spreading outward from Galactus. Just as it, too, threatens to devour the universe, Reed says that if the heroes exit the time bubble at the exact point where they entered it, the bubble will seal behind them, isolating the nullification from the rest of the time stream.

The FF barely escape the nullification, depicted as a blank white space growing around them, culminating in an all-white page of the comic. When this comic was originally published, however, there was an ad for the 1990 Dick Tracy movie on the opposite page. The ink bled through, showing the ad on the all-white page. In his Modern Masters vol. 8 interview, artist Walt Simonson describes this as, “Hi, we’re racing away from a giant picture of Dick Tracy.”

The heroes exit the time bubble and reenter the time stream. They reencounter Nebula, who is floating around in the time stream, and try to save her. They’re too late, and she vanishes. The FF successfully arrive back in the present, in Four Freedoms Plaza. Thor and Iron Man don’t make it back, but Reed says because it’s time travel, they can go back for them later. (!) All seems well, but in the other room, a TV news report states that U.S. President Dan Quayle and Soviet Premiere Josef Stalin are at odds, and the world is on the verge of nuclear war.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Is it too much of a stretch for Reed to figure out as much as he does? Probably it feels this way because he reveals how much he knows only after the fact.

Fade out: Nebula said it gave her “inexpressible pleasure” to kiss Reed while she possessed Sue. Is that creepy? I’m thinking that’s creepy.

Clobberin’ time: When Reed and Sue are reunited, Ben makes some sarcastic quips, but Sharon is there to point out that he’s just as glad Sue is still alive as anyone.

Flame on: Johnny spends most of the comic unconscious, but manages to summon his all-powerful nova flame to attach Galactus.

Fantastic fifth wheel: On Galactus’ ship, Sharon stays behind to watch Johnny, saying she can defeat Johnny in a fight if she really has to. (We don’t get to see if she can back up that statement.)

Commercial break: Do you have the stomach for this ad?

Trivia time: It’ll later be revealed that Nebula in this story is not Nebula, but Ravonna, the love interest of Dr. Druid, merely disguised as Nebula. (I’m not entirely clear on why she does this. When this is revealed in Avengers Spotlight, Ravonna merely says that “Nebula” is but one of many names she goes by.)

Thor at one point exclaims, “By the Gjallerhorn!” In Norse mythology this was a powerful horn blown by the god Heimdall. You can be sure Marvel’s Heimdall also his own version. These days, however, most folks know the name Gjallerhorn as one of the weapons in the Destiny games.

Fantastic or frightful? Some have criticized this story for being all plot and no character, but I say it once again has the human Reed standing tall in the face of cosmic space gods and coming off as their equal. That’s serious character strength right there. The kind missing from the Fantastic Four movies, I might add. Walt Simonson’s sci-fi artwork continues to impress as well.

Next week: Welcome to the gun show

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Walt Simonson’s cosmic time travel tale continues in issue #340, in which the FF confronts a godlike Celestial.

The FF, Thor and Iron Man have traveled to the future, where Galactus has built a giant device to let him devour the entire universe. Our heroes have convinced the Shi’ar Empire to send its entire fleet to attack Galactus. On Earth (future Earth, even though the previous issue made it sound like present-day Earth) the Dreaming Celestial has awakened from under his mountain and walks the Earth. Except he doesn’t hang out on Earth for long, because he immediately teleports onto the surface of Galactus’ device. Why is a Celestial a big deal? This one waves his hand through the air and doing so destroys the entire Shi’ar fleet.

Our heroes regroup aboard the Shi’ar weapon platform, the only ship to survive, and compare notes. Iron Man gives a short history of the Dreaming Celestial, saying it was meant to sleep forever under its mountain. Our heroes plot a course back to Earth to investigate this mountain. (The script conveniently forgets that the FF visited this mountain not long ago, in issue #323.)

Thor stays behind while the rest of the heroes break into the mountain and explore the high-tech complex inside it. There’s a few pages of fighting where the heroes are attacked by alien deviants who live there, to protect the Celestial. When them gone, Reed and Sue access the mountain’s computer, and get an even longer history of the Dreaming Celestial. He was once the greatest of all Celestials, but he broke their laws and was sealed inside the mountain to sleep forever, dreaming of revenge. While sleeping, the Dreaming Celestial somehow engineered this whole Galactus-devours-the-universe plot, just so the Dreaming Celestial can rule the new universe that will rise in our universe’s place.

While all this has been going on, remember that Johnny has become possessed by the mysterious blue-skinned woman who’s been following the team around. He/she finally makes a move by knocking Sue unconscious and running off with her. At this point, more Deviants attack. We’re told that there are millions of them this time, far too many to fight, forcing everyone to go back to the Shi’ar ship. Reed refuses to leave without Sue, but Ben knocks him out so that everyone can escape.

The FF and Iron Man escape aboard Reed’s time sled. Thor and Gladiator, who is running the Shi’ar Empire in the future, launch the weapon platform at Earth and destroy the Celestial’s mountain, cutting off the Celestial’s power supply. Reed, now awake again, believes Sue is dead. Reed doesn’t blame Ben, but instead puts all the blame on the Dreaming Celestial.

Reed confronts the Celestial, threatening to go back in time and tell the other Celestials of his plan while the Celestial sleeps. The Dreaming Celestial won’t have this, and chases our heroes through time. Reed outsmarts the Celestial by bringing him straight back to Galactus’ device, where Galactus devours the celestial. With his hunger temporarily sated, Galactus looks at Reed for a second with a sense of sorrow in his eyes. Then he goes back to devouring the universe. Reed says he has an idea on how to stop Galactus, adding that it is, “nothing short of insane!”

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: After he believes Sue is dead, Reed lashes out at Thor, calling Thor “windbag” several times. He later says that this was an act, acting angry so the Celestial would not see his true intentions.

Fade out: Sue uses her force fields to interact with the mountain’s computer, using them in precise, tiny ways to readjust the alien circuitry. I wonder what else she can do with itty-bitty force fields.

Clobberin’ time: Now that he’s human again, what can Ben do in a fight against the Deviants? Only pull out a freakin’ GUN and start shooting away. What, is he the Punisher now?

Flame on: While masquerading as Johnny, the mystery woman fights the Deviants as well, just to avoid suspicion.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Once again, they’ve given Sharon a lot of technobabble dialogue, hoping to portray her as a science genius as well as the team’s muscle.

Commercial break: Master the power!

Trivia time: This issue’s cover calls the Dreaming Celestial “the Black Celestial.” This is one of many names he has gone by, including “Tiamut the Communicator” and “the Renegade Celestial.” He first appeared in Jack Kirby Eternals miniseries back in 1977, and he often pops up whenever the Eternals’ enemies the Deviants are up to no good. The Marvel wiki insists that he doesn’t die in this issue, because this is merely an alternate future.

Fantastic or frightful? This issue feels like filler. Our heroes fight the Dreaming Celestial, only to start back where they began. Also, most panels only have a plain white or pale blue background, making it hard to follow who is where at any given time. On the plus side, the action and fighting are fun, and there’s the overall sense of operatic “cosmic Marvel” that we all love.

Next week: Nebulous.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

Reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #339 continues Walt Simonson’s time travel/space epic, with some classic Simonson Thor action as well.

The FF, Iron Man, and Thor have journeyed into the distant future, where Galactus is using an astronomically huge device with a black hole at its center, for the purpose of devouring not just planets, but the entire universe. The villain Kang keeps showing up, and Johnny is being mentally manipulated by a mysterious blue-skinned woman. As the heroes’ time sled is sucked into the black hole’s orbit, there are two pages of all black panels with only word balloons. Reed concocts a way to combine the power of the sled, Iron Man’s armor, and Thor’s hammer to escape the black hole’s pull.

Once outside the black hole, Johnny continues to act out of character. Here it’s finally revealed that Johnny is not Johnny. The blue-skinned woman has taken over his brain, and is choosing her words carefully so others don’t get suspicious. The discuss how they can possibly destroy Galactus’ device, and Sharon somewhat randomly suggests contacting the Shi’ar Empire, saying that the Shi’ar might have the firepower they need. Everyone’s okay with this, and Thor uses his teleporting power (which he has now) to take them to the Shi’ar.

The heroes find themselves surrounded by battleships in orbit around the Shi’ar planet. Because of the time dilation (or something) it appears that the whole planet is frozen in time. The FF and co. visit a weapons manufacturing plant and just help themselves to what they need.

On the planet, we see Gladiator, the Superman-like head of the Shi’ar’s Imperial Guard, taking notice of the disappearing equipment, he breaks through to the heroes’ time dilation and immediately picks a fight with Thor. (There’s no mention of time travel in this part, so I guess Gladiator doesn’t age, and this is him in the distant future.) Thor and Gladiator are evenly matched, with Thor getting knocked around by Gladiator, and Gladiator being one of the few characters able to survive getting smacked in the face by Thor’s hammer. Sharon breaks up the fight, reminding the two that they’re fighting around dangerous weaponry.

Thanks to Reed’s universal translator, Gladiator remembers that these are the good guys. He reveals that he is currently acting as regent of the Shi’ar, in place of the empire’s child emperor, Charles I. Gladiator orders the entire Shi’ar fleet to attack the Galactus device, even at the risk of leaving the Shi’ar homeworld defenseless. The fleet attacks Galactus, and Reed is in awe of the spectacle. The battle is felt all the way back in the present, where we revisit the mountain of the Dreaming Celestial (from back in issue #323) where the Dreaming Celestial, a robot who is so big he makes the mountains look all tiny, finally awakes and now walks the Earth.

To be continued!

Unstable molecule: Sue at one point asks Reed if he regrets saving Galactus’ life back in issue #244. Reed says saving a life, any life, will be his first priority. He is, however, not ruling out killing Galactus this time, if that’s what it takes to save the entire universe.

Fade out: Sue once again contributes almost nothing to this storyline. Reed asks her to keep an eye on Johnny, what with Johnny acting suspicious.

Clobberin’ time: Reed is about to give up when the team is drawn toward the black hole, but Ben is the one who talks him out of it. He calls Reed a disappointment, doing the ol’ reverse psychology bit. This is a small but interesting character turn for Ben, feeling like the result of all the times people told him, “but you’re not a monster.”

Flame on: With his mind possessed by the mystery woman, “Johnny” has several thoughts about Gladiator being handsome, and even a possible future consort. Have a lot of people taken these panels out of context for humorous purposes over the years? Yes, they have.

Fantastic fifth wheel: Sharon’s suggestion to go to the Shi’ar for help comes out of nowhere. You could argue that she’s researched them since she’s been with the FF, but the Shi’ar have always been antagonistic toward the FF, and they’ve been mostly antagonistic toward the X-Men, so I don’t know why Sharon thinks this is a good idea.

Commercial break: It’s Batman: Digital Justice, the all-CGI comic book. I’ve read it. It’s a fascinating novelty item, but it’s not “good,” exactly.

Trivia time: According to the Marvel wiki, the Shi’ar homeworld is a planet named Chandilar. However, the wiki insists that Chandilar’s one and only appearance was in Uncanny X-Men #275, which was published a year after this issue. Either the Shi’ar get a new homeworld in the future, or the wiki need updating.

Fantastic or frightful? The massive scale and outpouring of sci-fi creativity from Walt Simonson make this issue a lot of fun. Some have criticized this arc for being all spectacle with little character development. That might be true, but spectacle is what Simonson does best, so I say go big.

Next week: Celestial navigation.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.