Ten cent movies: Star Pilot

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. It’s still more bad dubbing over Italians with 1967’s Star Pilot.

tencent31

Here’s what happens: A crashed alien spaceship is discovered on the island of Sardinia. A group of scientists – and Louisa, one scientist’s plucky young daughter – investigate. The aliens, who look human, are about to return to their home planet, with the Earthlings along for the ride.

starpilot3

Speculative spectacle: The aliens say they’ve come to Earth to monitor humans’ use of nuclear weapons, but that takes a back seat once everybody travels into space. The aliens show humans far-out new worlds, complete with ape monsters, while the humans teach the emotionless aliens the ways of love.

Sleaze factor: Both Louisa and the female alien leader wear outfits that are, let’s say, suggestive.

starpilot1

Quantum quotables: Louisa: “Did you ever see the drawings of extraterrestrials they found on the walls of that cave? And the space rockets that they think were used for interplanetary flight? There was a long investigation. It was in an article.” Scientist: “In some women’s magazine?”

What the felgercarb? Two Chinese secret agents are along for the ride, and their broken English accents are horrifyingly offensive. Also, the ape monsters have the worst ape consumes since A*P*E 3-D.

starpilot2

Microcosmic minutiae: Although made in 1967, Star Pilot had a U.S. theatrical rerelease ten years later, in the hopes of piggybacking off of 1977’s Star Wars popularity. Some exterior shots are lifted (stolen?) from the 1962 Toho film Gorath.

Worth ten cents? Actress Leontine May, and her uncredited English dub actress, are very funny as Louisa, but everything else is pretty bland. Save your dime.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Ten cent movies | Leave a comment

Ten cent movies: Future Women

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. Today’s entry comes to us from South America, 1969’s Future Women.

tencent30

Here’s what happens: A dashing secret agent shows up in Rio, in pursuit of a deadly gangster. He’s abducted by women from the all-female city of Femina (which is… the future?). The women want to conquer the world and take it back from the men. When the gangster gets involved, suddenly our hero and the women warriors have a common enemy.

futwom2

Speculative spectacle: The ladies of Femina have access to piles of gold, endless weapons, and strange high-tech devices, including a very suggestive torture device.

Sleaze factor: There are a lot of women in this movie, and you can bet that every one of them is scantily clad.

futwom1

Quantum quotables: “What kind of space-age sorceress are you?” (Our second-rate James Bond knows how to woo the ladies)

What the felgercarb? OK, so this city of women, Femina, is supposed to be a big secret, right? Somehow sheltered away from the rest of the world? Then why does it appear to be right next to Rio (or, perhaps, in the center of Rio) throughout the movie?

Microcosmic minutiae: Former Bond girl Shirley Eaton has a meaty part as the leader of the futuristic women.

futwom3

Worth ten cents? It’s not sexy fun, and it’s not campy spy movie fun. It’s just dreadfully boring. Next!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Ten cent movies | Leave a comment

Ten cent movies: Prey

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. The packaging calls this 1978 movie Alien Prey, but the menu and opening credits just call it Prey. It’s not what you’d expect.

tencent29

 Here’s what happens: A murderous alien lands way out in the remote English countryside and starts eating people. Disguised as a human, it ends up staying as a houseguest of two women who are, shall we say, intimate with one another. Cue the love triangle!

prey2

Speculative spectacle: Although sci-fi on paper, this is a vampire flick in tone. Most of the movie takes place in this big, gothic mansion, and our alien bares vampy fangs as he kills random folks who come calling.

prey1

Sleaze factor: You want girl/girl lovin’? This movie’s totally got girl/girl lovin’.

Quantum quotables: Jessica: “What’s your first name, Mr. Anderson?” Alien: “Anders.” Jessica: “Anders… Anderson?”

What the felgercarb? The two ladies throw a party at one point, where they dress the alien in full-on drag because, well, because that’s the type of movie this is.

prey3

Microcosmic minutiae: Talk about guerrilla filmmaking – the whole thing was made in only 10 days with hand-held cameras. The actors wore their own clothes, and had to take injections after a scene where they swim in a nearby lake (and, yeah, that water looks nasty).

prey4

Worth ten cents? I liked this one, actually. It’s as if someone made The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but took the plot seriously. (I almost wrote, “played it straight” there, but, you know.)

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Ten cent movies | Leave a comment

Fantastic Friday: Dear old dad

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #32 promises big drama on the cover, and the cover hyperbole gets it right this time.

ff32

Once again, the story begins in Reed’s lab (how big is this lab of his, anyway?), where he’s experimenting on another cure for Ben. It appears to work, except Ben loses his memory. Reed has no choice but to turn Ben back into the Thing, so Ben can have his mind back.

Elsewhere, out in space, a “shimmering ray” shoots through the cosmos, “faster than a trillion laser beams.” It strikes the Earth, destroying a dormant volcano, and a strange figure flies out of the wreckage. The creature makes its way to New York, where it sneaks into the nearest jail, where Dr. Storm, Sue and Johnny’s father, is prisoner. (You’ll remember that he showed up as a fugitive last issue, and turned himself in to the police after saving Sue’s life.) The creature transforms itself, so it looks just like Dr. Storm. The creature then conveniently transports Storm to the fifth quadrant of the Andromeda Galaxy.

inv4

Sue and Johnny are at the jail, setting up a visit with their dad, so we can get Dr. Storm’s back story. Storm was a brilliant surgeon who loved his family. After his wife died in a car accident, Storm fell into despair, losing himself in booze and gambling. A fight with some thugs left a man dead, and Storm was sentenced to 20 years for manslaughter. (Damn.)

inv1

Visiting hours take an odd turn when Storm, is really the space creature in disguise, causes all kinds of trouble with his powers. Calling himself the Invincible Man, he appears to have all of the FF’s powers. Johnny fires a “4” flare (using the flare gun, not his fire powers like he usually does), summoning Reed and Ben. Losta fighting, as the Invincible Man, who gives himself a funky new villain outfit, makes short work of heroes, using their own powers against them.

inv3

The Fantastic Four are forced (heh) to retreat. The Invincible Man commits a bunch of crimes, with the public believing Dr. Storm is responsible. Reed returns to the lab, determined to find a solution. His invention du jour is a big backpack that holds an “ultra-sonic radio transmitter.” The FF confront the Invincible Man at the World’s Fair, where Reed uses his new device to reveal the truth – the Invincible Man is really the Super-Skrull, last seen trapped under that volcano back in issue #18. Reed takes an entire page to explain how he figured this out, and that the beam at the start of this issue came from the Skrull homeworld, where Dr. Storm is being kept hostage.

Reed pulls off a switcheroo, sending the Super-Skrull back to space and bringing Dr. Storm back to Earth. The Skrulls have a surprise planned for the FF, though. Dr. Storm appears with a bomb strapped to his chest. He jumps to ground, absorbing the blast so it does not kill anyone else, but killing himself doing so. He gives a long deathbed speech about how he’s able to die with pride, telling Sue and Johnny that he loves them, and that he’s going to see his wife again. The police show up, but it’s too late – Dr. Storm dies as a hero. (Again, damn.)

inv2

Unstable molecule: Reed is downright obsessive in this issue, as if he’s got some kind of need to prove himself better than the Super-Skrull, snapping at Sue as he tinkers in the lab. He’s a man of action as well, putting his powers aside and delivering a heck of a right cross to the bad guy.

Fade out: Knowing her family’s back story reveals a lot of what we know about Sue. She’s the “mom” of the group, because she had to grow up real quick after losing her mom and essentially losing her dad all at once.

Clobberin’ Time: The Ben-is-human-again-but-loses-his-memory thing is a lot of high drama that doesn’t lead anywhere.

Flame on: Johnny does very little in this issue, just occasionally chiming in from the sidelines. How much longer until we get a Torch-centric issue?

Trivia time: Dr. Storm’s first name is Franklin. How’s that for foreshadowing?

The World’s Fair in this issue is the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair. With its curvy roof and huge screens, the building drawn in the background is clearly the Kodak exhibit.

kodak

Fantastic or frightful: Again, the Super-Skrull doesn’t show a lot of personality, as his only motivation is to take down our heroes. The tragic fate of Dr. Storm shows that the creators were pushing to create some real human drama in these pages – something more than just the ol’ tights n’ fights.

Next week: Stay tuned for Attuma!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Fantastic Friday | Leave a comment

ACT FOUR SCENE ONE goes deeper, darker at the Roundtable

rtableToday’s the big day: I’m on the Roundtable Podcast to talk about ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. huge thanks to Dave, Brion and Leanna for their great advice. Listen to the show here:

Workshop Episode 54 (Guest Host: Leanna Renee Hieber)

This was the second of three times the book was workshopped this month (the other two were at Grub St. in Boston). The ongoing theme I took away from all three workshops is “go deeper.” Deeper into the characters’ heads, deeper in the play, and deeper into the scary/suspense stuff. I’ve since gone research crazy, and have uncovered a lot of juicy tidbits about the Scottish Play that I can use. I especially like the idea of Pickle being the Porter, as I’ve gone back to the Porter’s big speech, and found it a revelation. There’s a lot in what the Porter says that ties into what I’ve been writing, without me even realizing it.

The middle grade/YA confusion continues on. But just as workshops have suggested that I not be afraid to go darker as well as deeper, and as the word count is currently increasing (I’ve found that, for me at least, revision is about adding material as much as it is cutting it), so darker subject matter and a longer word count might push it farther on the YA half of the scale.

And I said “THE Netflix” instead of just “Netflix.” I hate when I do that.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Act Four Scene One | Leave a comment

The three Rs for March 25

threeRsThis is an author blog, and the rules state that I absolutely must blog about writer-y stuff. Here are your links for (w)riting, reading, and a little bit of randomness. This is a very special three Rs, in anticipation for my appearance on the Roundtable Podcast this week to discuss ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. Guess who’s up first?

(W)riting:

The Roundtable Podcast is a must-listen for writers. Co-hosts Dave Robison and Brion Humphrey interview authors, and then workshop guest writers’ stories with those authors. The interviews are full of great insight, and the workshops are great fun, with more super advice. Each author also benefits from Robison’s epic introductions ™. Plus, the guest writers’ story pitches have been all intriguing on their own, improved by the workshops. Here’s the plug: I’ll be on the show this week, getting ACT FOUR SCENE ONE workshopped. Give it a listen.

Creageous link: http://www.roundtablepodcast.com/

Reading:

DARKER STILL: A NOVEL OF MAGIC MOST FOUL by Leanna Renee Hieber. A dark fantasy set in Victorian England, Hieber takes the stock idea of a haunted painting and really makes it her own. What really makes the book a standout is its style. It’s written in the form of a diary by the protagonist, a mute girl. This automatically gives a strong voice to a character who cannot speak, so the reader roots for her instantly from the start.

Dream-sharing link: http://www.amazon.com/Darker-Still-Novel-Magic-Most/dp/1402260520/

Randomness:

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Act Four Scene One, The Three Rs | Leave a comment

ACT FOUR SCENE ONE sits at the Roundtable

rtable

Big announcement time: On March 26, I’ll be on The Roundtable Podcast to talk about the upcoming revisions to ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. Afterwards, you can add your own story suggestions at the comments on their site or right here on the blog. Before that, though, enjoy part one of the show, which doesn’t have me, but does have a great interview with author Leanna Renee Hieber. Check it out!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Act Four Scene One | Leave a comment

Fantastic Friday: Sinkholes and fugitives

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #31’s cover promises a surprise character revelation that will shock readers. Let’s see…

ff31

The story begins with an earthquake striking New York, and the FF respond by Ben and Johnny wisecracking at each other. Reed says the team must investigate, but Sue is more preoccupied with something she sees in the newspaper. It’s an article about an escaped fugitive. Reed can see that this visibly upsets her, but he chooses not to say anything.

Reed, Ben, and Johnny hop aboard the Fantasticar and head out into the city, where they discover a giant sinkhole in the middle of the city. Johnny tries to fly down into it, but there’s ice blocking his path. Deep underground, we see what the cover has already spoiled, that the Mole Man is behind all this. He says he needs a hostage, and he uses his high-tech gadgets to find just the right person.

mole1

Reed, Ben and Johnny return to headquarters and find Sue not there. Another earthquake hits. Using his advanced tech, the Mole Man has sucked another city block down into his underground kingdom. His mindless subjects (still not called “Moloids”) round everyone up. Sue is among the captives. She tries to escape while invisible, but her invisibility does no good against the Moloids, who have lost their sight by spending their entire lives underground. Now that he has Sue, the Mole Man believes the rest of the FF will do as he says.

Not so. The remaining three FFers head back down into the sinkhole in their pogo plane. They maneuver through a whole bunch of death traps, eventually crashing the plane atop one of the sunken buildings. They confront the Mole Man, who has a gun on Sue. Suddenly now his plan works, as Reed, Sue and Johnny agree to follow the Mole Man’s orders as long as he doesn’t hurt Sue.

The Mole Man sends the three heroes back up to the surface, where the Avengers are waiting. Surprise cameos! The Avengers are the same lineup we saw the last time they showed up in these pages – Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Giant-Man, and the Wasp. The Avengers are all ready to attack the Mole Man, so now the FF have to fight back, all to protect Sue. The fight doesn’t last long, before Reed fills the other team in on what’s happening.

mole3

Back at headquarters, Iron Man lends Reed some “transistor devices,” courtesy of his “employer,” Tony Stark. Reed then cobbles together a new (and goofy-looking) invention, the transistorized detector. It locks onto Sue’s location, where the Mole Man has her trapped in a crystal cage. Reed then unveils another new gadget, his experimental jet cycle (“with increased jet power!” Reed says).

mole2

The Mole Man and the Moloids (that’d be a great band name) fight back, but the FF’s powers are too much for them. Sue is rescued, and Reed reverses the machines, sending the sunken city blocks back up the surface. (Where’s the Avengers during all this?) The Mole Man, though, has rigged everything to explode, which it does. Sue is injured in the explosion as the FF race back to the surface.

Sue is rushed to the hospital, where doctors say she needs a delicate operation, and only one man can perform it. Just when it looks like all is lost, that one man shows up. He’s the fugitive from the newspaper seen earlier and… he’s Sue and Johnny’s long-lost father! He performs the operation, saves Sue’s life, and turns himself in to the police – but not before saying a solemn goodbye to his son and daughter.

mole4

Unstable molecule: Reed is all about the inventing dynamo in this one, with a number of crazy devices at his fingertips. His stretching power is enough for him to go head-to-head with Thor (maybe the thunder god was going easy on him).

Fade out: This is the lowest sort of “Sue is a captive who has to be rescued” story, as she does nothing. How much better would it have been to have her escape from that crystal cage on her  own?

Clobberin’ Time: Wave upon wave of Moloids are no match for Ben’s fists.

Flame on: Johnny gets his fire snuffed out by some bizarre spores, laid out as one of the Mole Man’s death traps. He later fights back by flying in rings around the Mole Man’s deadly zeta rays.

Trivia time: In his first appearance, the Mole Man was found on a remote island. He was last seen in issue 21, just outside of New York, and now he’s moved right under the city. His fate at the end of the issue remains unknown.

Reed makes a reference to Iron Man being Tony Stark’s bodyguard. There’s no caption telling us what Iron Man’s real deal is with Tony Stark. Instead, writer Stan Lee trusts the readers to already know that, or to run out and pick up an issue of Iron Man to see for themselves.

We’ll learn more about Sue and Johnny’s dad in the next issue.

Fantastic or frightful? The basic superhero adventure part of the story is full of plot hole goofiness, but the addition of daddy Storm provides some new opportunities for character development.

Next week: Who’s invincible?

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Ten cent movies: Morons From Outer Space

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. Morons From Outer Space, made in 1985, is the only comedy on the set. The only intentional one, that is.

mfos4

Here’s what happens: Three aliens crash-land on Earth and become overnight celebrities. Everyone on Earth believes the aliens bring new knowledge and technology with them, but the aliens are, in fact, morons. A fourth alien, Bernard, shows up in pursuit of the three, but he ends up homeless instead of famous.

mfos2

Speculative spectacle: We’re deep into social satire mode, as the humans prove themselves to be every bit as dumb as the spacey morons. It’s the classic sci-fi “We are them and they are us” thing.

Sleaze factor: The dim-bulb aliens eventually become glammed-up rock stars, with all the sex and drugs that entails.

mfos1

Quantum quotables: Earth scientist: “The planet you come from! What do you call it? What’s its name?” Alien: “I’ve forgotten.”

What the felgercarb? Out in space, Bernard hitches a ride with what appears to be a skeleton flying a spaceship. Make that a horny skeleton flying a spaceship.

mfos3

Microcosmic minutiae: The movie was directed by Mike Hodges, director of the original Get Carter and the 1980 Flash Gordon. According to never-wrong internet rumors, Hodges agreed to direct Morons From Outer Space only if the producers would also finance his dream project, a film called Mid-Atlantic. Sadly, it never got made.

Bernard is played by Mel Smith, who also co-wrote the film. Most folks probably know Smith best as the albino from The Princess Bride. Where did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?

Worth ten cents? It’s as if Close Encounters took place in the world of Idiocracy. There are some solid laughs here, but it’s all a little too madcap for its own good.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in Ten cent movies | Leave a comment

The three Rs for March 18

threeRs

This is an author’s blog, so the rules state I absolutely must post about writer-y stuff. Here are your links for (w)riting, reading, and a little bit of randomness.

(W)riting:

Fantasy-writing man-god Patrick Rothfuss has started a series of quite awesome videos, called the “Story Board,” talking with other authors about various writer-y topics. They have the occasional internet issues, but the quality of the discussion shouldn’t be missed. Yes, it leans mostly toward fantasy, but there’s enough material here that I’m confident anyone in the writing game can get something out of it.

King-killing link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52khu_YJAmo

Reading:

Since I’m talking about Rothfuss, I might as well recommend his books. The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear are the first two parts of the Kingkiller Chronicles, about a young musician with a tragic background, who, through various misadventures, becomes a legend in his own time. Rothfuss sets all the epic fantasy tropes on their ears, twisting and turning them around in surprising new ways. These are novels that will inspire debate and discussion for years to come.

Lute-playing link: http://www.amazon.com/The-Name-Wind-Kingkiller-Chronicles/dp/0756404746

Randomness

* * * *

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

cine-high_v3

Posted in The Three Rs | Leave a comment