Ten cent movies: Beyond the Moon

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. Beyond the Moon is another three episodes of the 1954 TV series Rocky Jones Space Ranger spliced together into a single movie. This time, it’s the first three episodes, so we can see how it all began.tencent34

Here’s what happens: Space hero Rocky Jones and his sidekick Winky (seriously, dude, get a new nickname) learn kindly old Professor Newton and his nephew Bobby has left Earth for the mysterious world of Ophiuchus. Believing the professor is held against his will, Rocky, Winky, and space hottie Vena set off for the rescue – and into the trap laid out by the sinister femme fatale Cleolanta.

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Speculative spectacle: Cleolanta uses mind control on Bobby to ensure the professor’s loyalty, and to try to fool Rocky’s crew. Oh, and plenty of models on strings for the space action, of course.

Sleaze factor: It’s mostly all kid-friendly, but Cleolanta does make with the seduction, with suggestive lines like, “I would like to prolong your visit, Rocky.”

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Quantum quotables: Vena: “An object is approaching from two o’clock!” Rocky: “Are you positive, or is this merely women’s intuition?” (Aahh, the 1950s)

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What the felgercarb? This is another one of those movies where the cylindrical-shaped spaceship lands just like it takes off, standing straight up. Filmmakers of this era had a thing or two to learn about rocket science.

Microcosmic minutiae: More than 20 episodes had already been made by the time this first one aired in 1954. Then, the same month as the premiere, actor Scotty Beckett, who plays Winky, was arrested following an armed robbery in Hollywood. He made bail and fled to Mexico, where he got into a gunfight with local cops before being caught again and incarcerated for four months. Dang!

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 Worth ten cents? This one isn’t quite as much goofy fun as the other Rocky Jones tale on this set, The Gypsy Moon, but it still that 1950s sci-fi genuineness you just can’t get anywhere else.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Fantastic Friday: In tune with Attuma

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. In the last few issues, we’ve seen Stan Lee working to add some genuine human drama to the superhero action, first by detailing Dr. Doom’s emotionally powerful origin, and then by the tragic tale of Sue and Johnny’s father. In issue #33, though, it’s back to wall-to-wall Kirby action with yet another trip to Atlantis.

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The undersea action begins (where else?) in Reed’s lab, where he has a giant sea monster on a slab. It’s a newly-discovered form of sea life, he says, that the Coast Guard has given him to study. (This raises a lot of questions about how the Coast Guard operates, but let’s just move on.) The creature normally lives at the darkest depths, but something brought it to the surface.

Elsewhere, a cloaked figure also comes to the surface. It’s Lady Dorma, the long-lost love of Namor the Submariner. She was last seen in FF annual #1, where she and warlord Krang left Namor in exile to lead the Atlanteans to their new home. She’s come to ask the FF’s help. If they don’t come to her aid, she says, Namor will die. Apparently, off-panel, Namor found his lost people and took over once more as their leader. (Krang isn’t mentioned.) Things seem to be going well, until undersea barbarian Attuma shows up, declaring war on Namor. Dorma and Namor had a little lovers’ spat, and so she did a Benedict Arnold (make that a sexy underwater Benedict Arnold) and sold out Namor’s forces to Attuma. Feeling guilt over what she’d done, Dorma traveled to the surface to meet with the FF while Namor’s forces were losing the battle.

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Fearing that Attuma will attack the surface world when he’s done with the Atlanteans, Reed agrees to help. He scientifically whips up a convenient “Oxo-spray” for his teammates to breath underwater. This even gives Johnny the power to use his powers in a pocket of oxygen around his skin. (I assume Reed knew there’d be more undersea adventures after their last Namor encounter, so he made this stuff ages ago).

The Four hop aboard their bathysphere (our heroes play Bioshock?) and head into the depths. We get a rare (for this era) full-page splash, with another one of those funky semi-photo illustrations, depicting the ocean floor, complete with goofy-looking fish. Attuma’s forces attack the FF’s ship, and it’s pretty all battle all the time for the rest of the issue.

The bathysphere is destroyed, and the breathing Oxo-spray will only give the FF thirty minutes of breathable air. (You’d think Reed would have mentioned this before they hit the ocean floor.) There’s a weird bit where Reed shapes his body into a giant stingray shape to get everyone across the battlefield. They reunite with Attuma’s forces, using a battering ram on Namor’s encampment. Namor fights back in a big way, trashing the battering ram and sending Attuma’s troops flying. Attuma’s ready for Namor, though, and uses the – are you ready for this one? – “globules of darkness” to blind Namor.

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Elsewhere on the front lines, Sue uses her invisibility to do some reconnaissance and sabotage the enemy’s machinery. This frees up Namor to take on Attuma face-to-face, with Namor not even knowing the FF are helping him. He and Attuma duke it out while the FF manage to keep Attuma’s soldiers from interfering. Namor destroys Attuma’s big ol’ sword, but Attuma responds by sprouting a pair of laser beam-firing antennae (sure, why not?). Sue saved Namor’s aquatic bacon by turning him invisible. Namor somehow can’t tell he’s invisible and assumes Attuma has gone mad. Namor fights back and wins the fight.

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The breathing devices start to run out of air, and we get two pages of the FF racing back to the surface. After the battle, Namor displays a rare moment of humility by asking for Dorma’s forgiveness.

Unstable molecule: Reed the center of the action for the first half of the issue, leading the journey into the ocean, and then the weird bit where he makes himself into a stingray shape to carry everyone else around.

Fade out: Sue’s power is used for stealth, something I’m surprised we haven’t seen more of. She still admits some feeling for Namor (not out loud, though), but she of course returns to Reed at the end.

Clobberin’ Time: Ben destroys Attuma’s deadly “Ionic ray” without breaking a sweat.

Flame on: Johnny faced with an interesting dilemma in that he can only use flame as sparingly as possible before it goes out underwater. His powers last long enough to save his teammates from an explosive grenade fired by Attuma’s soldiers.

Trivia time: It’s the first appearance of Attuma, obviously, who will go on to become an ongoing problem for Namor and other Marvel characters who visit the murky depths. The Marvel wiki informs me that Attuma’s triple-bladed sword weighs 50 pounds, so there’s that.

Fantastic or frightful? I actually like Attuma a lot. He’s this driven, powerful force. If Aquaman is DC Comic’s King Arthur of Atlantis, then Attuma is the Conan the Barbarian of Atlantis. You could argue that he’s a one-note villain, but that single-mindedness makes him a frightening foe. Add to that some further development in the Namor/Dorma romance and page upon page of big Jack Kirby action, and you’ve got a winner of an issue.

Next issue: “I’m a livin’ doll!”

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Assassin

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. I haven’t been able to find a lot of info on 1986’s Assassin, but I’ll bet good money that it’s an unsold TV pilot. If it looks like ‘80s television and struts like ‘80s television…

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Here’s what happens: An assassin is running around killing members of the CIA. It has memorized the dossiers of all CIA agents. A retired agent who is “off the books,” is called in to stop the killer. To complicate matters, his new partner is also his old flame.

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Speculative spectacle: The assassin is actually a robot. (That’s a spoiler, but do you really care?) He’s bulletproof, fireproof, super strong, etc. Basically, he’s the Terminator, but less intimidating.

Sleaze factor: While attempting to flirt with a woman, our robot assassin brags that he’s posed nude… not in centerfolds, but in scientific journals.

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Quantum quotables: Female agent: “Don’t forget that his eyes have telescopic vision.” Male agent: “Any other surprises?” Female agent: “He can reach running speeds of up to 30 miles an hour.” Male agent: “But… can he make love to a woman?”

What the felgercarb? The opening action scene has our robo-assassin killing a bunch of CIA agents in Missouri. Is Missouri really a hotbed of CIA activity?

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Microcosmic minutiae: Our lead agent is played by a tough-talkin’ Robert Conrad, star of the original Wild Wild West and countless other TV projects, which, again, has me wondering if this was a pilot that never went to series.

Worth ten cents? With its big hair, big shoulder pads, and big synthesizer score, ‘80s nostalgia fans will likely dig this, but casual viewers might lose interest.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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The Three Rs for April 8

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This is an author blog, and the rules state that I absolutely must blog about writer-y stuff. Here are your links for (w)riting, reading, and a little bit of randomness.

(W)riting:

Query Shark is a blog from literary agent Janet Reid. It’s a simple enough premise: Writers send her sample query letters, which she critiques. Reid is endlessly witty as she picks apart the queries, but be warned, she does not pull any punches. As brutal as the critiques often get, Query Shark is nonetheless a valuable reference for any author, and a fun read besides.

Chum bucket link: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/

Reading:

The Books of Umber by P.W. Catanese, a great fantasy trilogy beginning with Happenstance Found. A young man with no memory is rescued and then mentored by eccentric adventurer Lord Umber and his motley crew. They explore the world, get into and out of scrapes, and eventually come face to face with a sinister force from Umber’s past. This series is technically middle grade, for ages 9-12, but it shows just how sophisticated and contemporary middle grade can be, with lush writing, sly humor, and strong, well-developed characters.

Meddling link: http://www.amazon.com/Happenstance-Found-The-Books-Umber/dp/1416953825

Randomness:

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Star Pilot

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. It’s still more bad dubbing over Italians with 1967’s Star Pilot.

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Here’s what happens: A crashed alien spaceship is discovered on the island of Sardinia. A group of scientists – and Louisa, one scientist’s plucky young daughter – investigate. The aliens, who look human, are about to return to their home planet, with the Earthlings along for the ride.

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Speculative spectacle: The aliens say they’ve come to Earth to monitor humans’ use of nuclear weapons, but that takes a back seat once everybody travels into space. The aliens show humans far-out new worlds, complete with ape monsters, while the humans teach the emotionless aliens the ways of love.

Sleaze factor: Both Louisa and the female alien leader wear outfits that are, let’s say, suggestive.

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Quantum quotables: Louisa: “Did you ever see the drawings of extraterrestrials they found on the walls of that cave? And the space rockets that they think were used for interplanetary flight? There was a long investigation. It was in an article.” Scientist: “In some women’s magazine?”

What the felgercarb? Two Chinese secret agents are along for the ride, and their broken English accents are horrifyingly offensive. Also, the ape monsters have the worst ape consumes since A*P*E 3-D.

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Microcosmic minutiae: Although made in 1967, Star Pilot had a U.S. theatrical rerelease ten years later, in the hopes of piggybacking off of 1977’s Star Wars popularity. Some exterior shots are lifted (stolen?) from the 1962 Toho film Gorath.

Worth ten cents? Actress Leontine May, and her uncredited English dub actress, are very funny as Louisa, but everything else is pretty bland. Save your dime.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Future Women

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. Today’s entry comes to us from South America, 1969’s Future Women.

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Here’s what happens: A dashing secret agent shows up in Rio, in pursuit of a deadly gangster. He’s abducted by women from the all-female city of Femina (which is… the future?). The women want to conquer the world and take it back from the men. When the gangster gets involved, suddenly our hero and the women warriors have a common enemy.

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Speculative spectacle: The ladies of Femina have access to piles of gold, endless weapons, and strange high-tech devices, including a very suggestive torture device.

Sleaze factor: There are a lot of women in this movie, and you can bet that every one of them is scantily clad.

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Quantum quotables: “What kind of space-age sorceress are you?” (Our second-rate James Bond knows how to woo the ladies)

What the felgercarb? OK, so this city of women, Femina, is supposed to be a big secret, right? Somehow sheltered away from the rest of the world? Then why does it appear to be right next to Rio (or, perhaps, in the center of Rio) throughout the movie?

Microcosmic minutiae: Former Bond girl Shirley Eaton has a meaty part as the leader of the futuristic women.

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Worth ten cents? It’s not sexy fun, and it’s not campy spy movie fun. It’s just dreadfully boring. Next!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Ten cent movies: Prey

A while back, I bought this 50-movie set, Sci-Fi Invasion, for five bucks. That adds up to ten cents per movie. The packaging calls this 1978 movie Alien Prey, but the menu and opening credits just call it Prey. It’s not what you’d expect.

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 Here’s what happens: A murderous alien lands way out in the remote English countryside and starts eating people. Disguised as a human, it ends up staying as a houseguest of two women who are, shall we say, intimate with one another. Cue the love triangle!

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Speculative spectacle: Although sci-fi on paper, this is a vampire flick in tone. Most of the movie takes place in this big, gothic mansion, and our alien bares vampy fangs as he kills random folks who come calling.

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Sleaze factor: You want girl/girl lovin’? This movie’s totally got girl/girl lovin’.

Quantum quotables: Jessica: “What’s your first name, Mr. Anderson?” Alien: “Anders.” Jessica: “Anders… Anderson?”

What the felgercarb? The two ladies throw a party at one point, where they dress the alien in full-on drag because, well, because that’s the type of movie this is.

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Microcosmic minutiae: Talk about guerrilla filmmaking – the whole thing was made in only 10 days with hand-held cameras. The actors wore their own clothes, and had to take injections after a scene where they swim in a nearby lake (and, yeah, that water looks nasty).

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Worth ten cents? I liked this one, actually. It’s as if someone made The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but took the plot seriously. (I almost wrote, “played it straight” there, but, you know.)

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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Fantastic Friday: Dear old dad

Re-reading the Fantastic Four comics from the start. Issue #32 promises big drama on the cover, and the cover hyperbole gets it right this time.

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Once again, the story begins in Reed’s lab (how big is this lab of his, anyway?), where he’s experimenting on another cure for Ben. It appears to work, except Ben loses his memory. Reed has no choice but to turn Ben back into the Thing, so Ben can have his mind back.

Elsewhere, out in space, a “shimmering ray” shoots through the cosmos, “faster than a trillion laser beams.” It strikes the Earth, destroying a dormant volcano, and a strange figure flies out of the wreckage. The creature makes its way to New York, where it sneaks into the nearest jail, where Dr. Storm, Sue and Johnny’s father, is prisoner. (You’ll remember that he showed up as a fugitive last issue, and turned himself in to the police after saving Sue’s life.) The creature transforms itself, so it looks just like Dr. Storm. The creature then conveniently transports Storm to the fifth quadrant of the Andromeda Galaxy.

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Sue and Johnny are at the jail, setting up a visit with their dad, so we can get Dr. Storm’s back story. Storm was a brilliant surgeon who loved his family. After his wife died in a car accident, Storm fell into despair, losing himself in booze and gambling. A fight with some thugs left a man dead, and Storm was sentenced to 20 years for manslaughter. (Damn.)

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Visiting hours take an odd turn when Storm, is really the space creature in disguise, causes all kinds of trouble with his powers. Calling himself the Invincible Man, he appears to have all of the FF’s powers. Johnny fires a “4” flare (using the flare gun, not his fire powers like he usually does), summoning Reed and Ben. Losta fighting, as the Invincible Man, who gives himself a funky new villain outfit, makes short work of heroes, using their own powers against them.

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The Fantastic Four are forced (heh) to retreat. The Invincible Man commits a bunch of crimes, with the public believing Dr. Storm is responsible. Reed returns to the lab, determined to find a solution. His invention du jour is a big backpack that holds an “ultra-sonic radio transmitter.” The FF confront the Invincible Man at the World’s Fair, where Reed uses his new device to reveal the truth – the Invincible Man is really the Super-Skrull, last seen trapped under that volcano back in issue #18. Reed takes an entire page to explain how he figured this out, and that the beam at the start of this issue came from the Skrull homeworld, where Dr. Storm is being kept hostage.

Reed pulls off a switcheroo, sending the Super-Skrull back to space and bringing Dr. Storm back to Earth. The Skrulls have a surprise planned for the FF, though. Dr. Storm appears with a bomb strapped to his chest. He jumps to ground, absorbing the blast so it does not kill anyone else, but killing himself doing so. He gives a long deathbed speech about how he’s able to die with pride, telling Sue and Johnny that he loves them, and that he’s going to see his wife again. The police show up, but it’s too late – Dr. Storm dies as a hero. (Again, damn.)

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Unstable molecule: Reed is downright obsessive in this issue, as if he’s got some kind of need to prove himself better than the Super-Skrull, snapping at Sue as he tinkers in the lab. He’s a man of action as well, putting his powers aside and delivering a heck of a right cross to the bad guy.

Fade out: Knowing her family’s back story reveals a lot of what we know about Sue. She’s the “mom” of the group, because she had to grow up real quick after losing her mom and essentially losing her dad all at once.

Clobberin’ Time: The Ben-is-human-again-but-loses-his-memory thing is a lot of high drama that doesn’t lead anywhere.

Flame on: Johnny does very little in this issue, just occasionally chiming in from the sidelines. How much longer until we get a Torch-centric issue?

Trivia time: Dr. Storm’s first name is Franklin. How’s that for foreshadowing?

The World’s Fair in this issue is the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair. With its curvy roof and huge screens, the building drawn in the background is clearly the Kodak exhibit.

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Fantastic or frightful: Again, the Super-Skrull doesn’t show a lot of personality, as his only motivation is to take down our heroes. The tragic fate of Dr. Storm shows that the creators were pushing to create some real human drama in these pages – something more than just the ol’ tights n’ fights.

Next week: Stay tuned for Attuma!

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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ACT FOUR SCENE ONE goes deeper, darker at the Roundtable

rtableToday’s the big day: I’m on the Roundtable Podcast to talk about ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. huge thanks to Dave, Brion and Leanna for their great advice. Listen to the show here:

Workshop Episode 54 (Guest Host: Leanna Renee Hieber)

This was the second of three times the book was workshopped this month (the other two were at Grub St. in Boston). The ongoing theme I took away from all three workshops is “go deeper.” Deeper into the characters’ heads, deeper in the play, and deeper into the scary/suspense stuff. I’ve since gone research crazy, and have uncovered a lot of juicy tidbits about the Scottish Play that I can use. I especially like the idea of Pickle being the Porter, as I’ve gone back to the Porter’s big speech, and found it a revelation. There’s a lot in what the Porter says that ties into what I’ve been writing, without me even realizing it.

The middle grade/YA confusion continues on. But just as workshops have suggested that I not be afraid to go darker as well as deeper, and as the word count is currently increasing (I’ve found that, for me at least, revision is about adding material as much as it is cutting it), so darker subject matter and a longer word count might push it farther on the YA half of the scale.

And I said “THE Netflix” instead of just “Netflix.” I hate when I do that.

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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The three Rs for March 25

threeRsThis is an author blog, and the rules state that I absolutely must blog about writer-y stuff. Here are your links for (w)riting, reading, and a little bit of randomness. This is a very special three Rs, in anticipation for my appearance on the Roundtable Podcast this week to discuss ACT FOUR SCENE ONE. Guess who’s up first?

(W)riting:

The Roundtable Podcast is a must-listen for writers. Co-hosts Dave Robison and Brion Humphrey interview authors, and then workshop guest writers’ stories with those authors. The interviews are full of great insight, and the workshops are great fun, with more super advice. Each author also benefits from Robison’s epic introductions ™. Plus, the guest writers’ story pitches have been all intriguing on their own, improved by the workshops. Here’s the plug: I’ll be on the show this week, getting ACT FOUR SCENE ONE workshopped. Give it a listen.

Creageous link: http://www.roundtablepodcast.com/

Reading:

DARKER STILL: A NOVEL OF MAGIC MOST FOUL by Leanna Renee Hieber. A dark fantasy set in Victorian England, Hieber takes the stock idea of a haunted painting and really makes it her own. What really makes the book a standout is its style. It’s written in the form of a diary by the protagonist, a mute girl. This automatically gives a strong voice to a character who cannot speak, so the reader roots for her instantly from the start.

Dream-sharing link: http://www.amazon.com/Darker-Still-Novel-Magic-Most/dp/1402260520/

Randomness:

****

Want more? Check out my book, CINE HIGH, now available for the Kindle and the free Kindle app.

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